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RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 8:10:46 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
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DesFIP yes I set my boundaries quite clearly, but there is a push of the envelop which seems to come from them not really accepting the fact that what I have stated is true to its word and I mean what I say. It really has become a weeding tool that shows they have little respect for my position and the value I place on this journey. It is confusing though in some respects cause I know a few girls that will submit under such pressure, and are with dom's this day. But then again I have know idea what or how these girls think or where and what their life values are. After 7 years though my goodness I have to ask myself why and what is taking my beginning so difficult to even start.

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Post #: 21

RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 8:13:16 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
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LuckyAlbatross, yes and the point exactly - obviously what I am doing is not working well for me, precisely the reason for the questions to figure out what I am doing wrong. I know myself well enough and know what I desire, just getting there is a heck of a trip and I think I am taking a strange road

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Post #: 22

RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 8:17:04 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Okay, I can't figure this out. You've been on CM for two years, and are stuck in a pattern, even though you communicate very clearly. Plus, your profile is completely unhelpful to me as a diagnostic tool.

So... pop quiz time.

Who are you?
What do you desire?

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(in reply to aleshaDreams)

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RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 8:23:46 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
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RedMagic, I have removed my profile until it is rewritten to be more down to earth and softer than it has reflected in the past year. I am presently working at defining that profile and will include answers to the pop quiz within it contents. Thank you for those btw, profiles are hideous to write.

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Post #: 24

RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 8:24:53 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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I expect her to treat me with the respect and courtesy I deserve, and I do the same for her. She should fully engage in conversation with me, and both of us realize that this could lead to something.

Such things as not thanking me if I pay for the meal, paying attenmtion to a non-emergency cell phone call, etc., tell me that she is not respecting me.

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Post #: 25

RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 8:30:05 PM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectyourowner

I make it very clear what I expect from my slave from the very first meeting. I ask her if she has any issues and then I ask her clearly if she wants to be my slave.

So you consider her your slave before you've even met with her face to face? I'm not trying to criticize; Just asking.

I had this happen and it made me walk away. He referred to me as already being his, and wanted me to call him Master- From simply chatting for 3 to 4 weeks. He told me exactly what I was to wear,(or better said what he didnt want me to wear- IE- no panties) down to the nail polish color on my toenails for our first meet.

I kept trying to explain to him- that we had not even met face to face yet, and that I was extremely uncomfortable with referring to him as Master and more importantly that he thought it okay to tell me-to expect me- to already obey him. (this man is local to me, not long distance)

Anyway- We ended up not being able to come to agreement about a few things and I felt it necessary for us to cease chatting.

Hmmm...Not even sure why I just shared all that- Blame it on sleep deprivation :-)

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RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 10:06:37 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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People who grasp at power-rather than waiting for it-can be safely tagged as insecure..

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Post #: 27

RE: Expectations - 5/6/2008 10:13:42 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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I expect the same basic social norms, courtesies, and basic respect that we give everyone we interact with socially and give her the same in return.

I expect her to slow down, be patient, and get to know me instead of wanting to jump head first into wearing my collar.

I expect her to say "No" if she is not comfortable with a request from me.

I expect her to ask ("beg" might be a better word) for my collar after she has taken the time to get to know me and has decided that I am the kind of person she desires to serve. I won't ever ask her.

I expect it to happen generally within in 3 months of spending time with me or I doubt it probably will ever happen. We'll remain friends and I will probably look to date someone else.

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Post #: 28

RE: Expectations - 5/7/2008 3:58:34 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

What are your expectations during initial encounters with a sub/slave?

The Intial encounter..... I expect a person... nothing more.... nothing less.

After that... it's slow steps to get to know that person. With each step... consideration is given to what the next should be... sometimes... it's forward.. sometimes side ways... sometimes it's back away!

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Post #: 29

RE: Expectations - 5/8/2008 3:17:12 PM

ProfJoe

Posts: 75
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

What are your expectations during initial encounters with a sub/slave?

The Intial encounter..... I expect a person... nothing more.... nothing less.

After that... it's slow steps to get to know that person. With each step... consideration is given to what the next should be... sometimes... it's forward.. sometimes side ways... sometimes it's back away!

I'm glad this post got here before me -- I'd have wasted a whole lot more words to say the same thing.

More to the point than your question though -- I think -- is what do you expect of him/her? Of course a male talks about sex. D'oh. But if that's all he talks about, or is the chief thing he talks about, or wants to talk about ....

Doesn't that give you enough information to decide if you want to continue?

Best wishes,
ProfJoe

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Post #: 30

RE: Expectations - 5/8/2008 3:44:09 PM

Dommstr49

Posts: 20
Joined: 5/2/2008
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First two weeks would be to get to know one another. I take my time to get to know a potential sub/slave. I do expect to be addressed as Sir out of respect and manners not because I want to Dom her upon first contact. It takes time, patience, communication and trust.

< Message edited by Dommstr49 -- 5/8/2008 3:45:28 PM >

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Post #: 31

RE: Expectations - 5/8/2008 3:49:47 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

As a female Dominant my expectations in the first few weeks are...we get to know each other better, perhaps become friends and see where it goes from there. I'm a slow mover when it comes to my relationships. If after several months it seems we are a good match then I will discuss a collar with the sub/slave, making sure our needs,wants,desires match.

No I don't expect anyone to masturbate for me, or drop to their knees on the first meeting. I guess I don't want someone who would do this for just anyone who was Dominant, I want someone who wants to do it for ME.

~Lashra

What she said.

Funny, the guys that contact me tell me that I'm not "real" for this approach, and I am the only one that uses this method....and look, here is someone else....hmmmm....interesting....lol

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Post #: 32