ownedgirlie
Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Yes and No... if one is viewing things in a moment of time... then when IE Girlie fills the glass without being told... one can precieve her as being active. However, if their is an expectation established by her Master to fill the glass her activity is actually a passive response to an preestablished instruction(expectation). If one looks at the process in which time is irrelevant. It can be established.. is the submissive being presumptous... or is the submissive passively responding to expectation (authority of the Dominant). Training as I see it.. is indeed active dominance... but I don't see it in the confines of time...but a process... Intiate (active) - respond (passive)
While you both give good examples, my situation is irrelavant to it. First, "one" may be viewing this and see it as presumptuous. But unless that "one" is my Master, they would be incorrect, because they would not be fully aware of the situation.
Also, in the example I threw out there, among many I could think of (I tried to use a benign example), I learned when he wants his glass filled by way of observation and experience over the course of years. He never said,
"In Situation X, I will always want my glass filled." I noticed when he is still eating and relaxing and his glass is empty, he likes it refilled, so I refill it (typically there is a bottle of water or soda already on the table from the initial glass fill). He considered it a considerate observation that he appreciated.
If it helps, I'll use another example. After he is finished whipping me and fucking me, I curl up at his feet and rub them. This has never been instructed, it is something I just started doing. Since he always enjoys his feet being rubbed, he enjoys any time I take it upon myself to do it (I dont do it in inappropriate situations). In fact, it's been an unspoken thing between the two of us, that whenever we're together and nothing's going on, or if he's reading or working, I rub his feet. One might find this presumptuous; He finds it thoughtful and sweet. I suppose it's a matter of perspective. In my world, the only perspective I worry about is my Master's.
quote:
In my world...
Active Dominance... Is intiating the exercise of authority by giving instruction
Passive Dominance.. Is Responding to a request for the exercise of authority by giving instruction.
Passive Submission.. Is Responding to the excerisve of authority by obeying an instruction etc.
Active Submission .. Is Intiatinag a request for the exercise of authority
anyways this is how I see it in my simple world.
The difference in our worlds, in this particular case, is I do not always have to initiate a request. When he makes a mess in the bathroom, I clean it, without ever being told or without asking if I may. When we're relaxing together, I rub his feet - same thing. There are many things I know he loves, especially when I just start doing them without being told. You may consider this presumptuous, but his opinion is different than that in those cases.
Training can take place through observation and conversation, without an instruction ever being given. "I really love when you just lay at my feet and start kissing and rubbing them" is not an instruction to do so. It is positive feedback on something I did of my own accord, thereby reinforcing the idea to continue behaving in that way. "It makes me feel good when I pull the shower curtain back and there you are, holding a towel to dry me" is another example of that. Knowing his personality and the things he likes helps me know what kinds of things I might try doing for him. He loves that I take these things upon myself. If ever I'm not sure whether he'll like something or not, I ask. If I'm pretty sure he'll like something, I'll either ask him about it while in conversation ("Master, would you like it if I was holding your towel out, waiting to dry you when you step out of the shower?") or, in cases like rubbing his feet or filling his glass before it empties while he's eating, or, like when he was really sick - bringing him hot herbal tea prepared how he likes it and asking if he will please drink it - I go ahead and do it.
It works for us. It doesn't work for everyone.
_____________________________
Good is the enemy of great.
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RE: Passive dominance, aggressive submission?? - 
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