quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

No offense intended, but there's a certain amount of irony in reading an OP like this from a married woman looking for a man to serve her on the side.

From the perspective of many good submissives, a married woman is pretty "taken" herself. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I personally believe that the right person is out there for pretty much everyone. We just do a really good job of placing barriers in front of us because we learn really well how to be dismissive more than we learn to be inclusive. We let a few bad apples define the world for us in how we deal with everyone else. It's sad, but that's quite often the Internet coping mechanism. It certainly is the coping mechanism on CM.

I agree littlesarbonne.  Beyond what you've said, there's also something that seems to happen where others expect perfection or are looking for some ideal that doesn't exist.  The have a mindset that doesn't allow them to recognize that we all have our flaws and idiosyncrasies.  We often don't allow ourselves to be flexible enough to be open to possibilties that may prove to be very fulfilling. 

Knowing the difference between our "Must Haves", "Desires" or "Nice to Haves" as well as "Hard Limits" or "Not Acceptables" is important.  As long as the "Must Haves" are met, without encountering any "Not Acceptables" or "Hard Limits", the rest becomes icing on the cake that we can appreciate in the other person.  The other little things I'd hope would be things we'd learn to accept and maybe learn to love in the other because they're what help to make them unique. 

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ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Firts of all subtreat--how brave of you to post, don't be such a stranger and welcome back to the light---
 
As for the communication/lack of/ penpal status then fizzle----( and may I say I an proud that no one shoved the---get out into your community issue at this)
 
If I am going to find Mine, I am going to have to look outside My area--as My area are marrieds, Doms or well just won't fit---I am not going to relocate---so that narrows the field allot---what I seek is like MsStarlett--those with a real life---ok now the field gets narrower--and the commitment to communication gets harder ( and this "where there is a will there is a way"---it works LATER, it doesn't work that way in the beginning)---I don't want someone who hangs on the computer all day--ping ping ping ping---that says to Me--needy--I also don't want someone who does because maybe they don't work---I want someone interesting, fun, with interests that we can share---well people with busy lives are busy people---and that early new communication ends up going by the wayside---so its frustrating---at both ends--I have a busy life-homeschool a graduating senior, demanding job, horses so I'm not here all the time---add to that most of the boys that may have potential are in a different time zone---WHY ARE THEY ALL ON THE WEST COAST??  ok sorry, whiney moment there---I haven't found the solution---the mix of communication, the blend of getting past the interference of life--and no Dominas in the early stages cannot simply command someone to be on line or be there at a certain time---it just doesn't happen that way.
 
I've given up on a few occasions, I'm close again because I can't seem to find the mix to get through that first  log jam.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The only trouble I see with a "Good Ones are Taken" thread is it sends a message to all the fabulous unowned ones that they are no good.  I'm sure that's not what you intended, but the message is there to be picked up on.

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ORIGINAL: petdave

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The only trouble I see with a "Good Ones are Taken" thread is it sends a message to all the fabulous unowned ones that they are no good.  I'm sure that's not what you intended, but the message is there to be picked up on.

Of course, it also lets some of the taken ones think that we're good (you hush, Redmagic1 )

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Actually, if you want good irony, it's going to a website for alternative sexuality and finding all sorts of self-anointed progressive thinkers spouting the same conventional morality you would have found on television ca. 1955.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Zero commitment, Shakti?  Are you kidding?  Do you really think that's how it works for everyone who is either in open marriages, or poly, or doing anything other than the one on one version of all of this?

While you are right that I could never give a sub the perfect vision of "and the TWO of them lived happily ever after" don't think for a second that it means that there is no fulfillment for him.  My sub has no reason to doubt what he means to Me.  There's no 'showering of gifts' going on here.  No sucking him dry of his time and energy where he gets nothing back. 

I don't treat anyone like a meaningless 'convenient whipping post'.  Not My sub.  Not anyone who I play or scene with.  That may be how it works for some people, but it certainly isn't the way it works with Me.  I'm willing to bet there are quite a few folks who have different situations than just 'something on the side'.  I'd be more than happy to invite you to get to know us, rather than make these assumptions.

I've said too much on the matter.  Enjoy your day.

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Zero commitment, Shakti?  Are you kidding?  Do you really think that's how it works for everyone who is either in open marriages, or poly, or doing anything other than the one on one version of all of this?  (snip)  I don't treat anyone like a meaningless 'convenient whipping post'.  (snip)  I'd be more than happy to invite you to get to know us, rather than make these assumptions.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Zero commitment, Shakti?  Are you kidding?  Do you really think that's how it works for everyone who is either in open marriages, or poly, or doing anything other than the one on one version of all of this?