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Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:25:25 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I cannot be the only one running into this.
Is it a common idea that someone's sub or slave is going to be submissive to anyone of Dominant ilk? I have been contacted several times in the past few days by visiting D types who will have their pets in tow, and who seem to be interested in sharing or swapping pets for their stay. Now while I understand that might be a kink for some, is it really that surprising that I am NOT into it? Others have talked to Fox and when he has directed them to me for permission to go offline they have gotten riled.
So, I'll ask. Those of you who are sub/slave... do you submit to any D that expects you to? I already know most of the answers to this, but im curious. And for my fellow Dominants, do you expect your sub/slave to follow others orders, or are you the only one who can command?

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

Post #: 1

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:30:41 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

No - i don't submit to all. I will be polite and (mostly) respectful to all - sub/slave and dom, but unless instructed by my Sir, i submit to only him.
I have submitted to a domme friend of his, but before he did this, he asked me if this was something i was interested in - much as he asks me if i want to eat barbeque that night. Hehe.
He tells me that he understands that i am his to command, but as a matter of repect, he asks my opinion - not that he feels bound to abide by it.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 2

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:31:41 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

No, we don't share that kink either. People become offended when we say no thanks or Master says no thanks. We do play with others but it is just that play. I only submit to one, that is how it works for us. I am not expected to follow commands from other dominants. Masters command is the only one that will evoke a response from me.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 3

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:37:13 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I started a relationship with a Dom eons ago and he poofed on me not to far into it (which is difficult considering that we worked in the same general department, but I'd only see him when we did cross at work and no private communications for this period)

So I went on my merry way, a couple of months went by and out of the blue, I get an "I'm so sorry, life was crazy" e-mail, to which I replied that I'd moved on, his response to that was to ask me if he could have permission from m'Lord to borrow me so he could swap me with another Dom that was coming for a visit.

Anyway, I would submit to someone else if m'Lord asked it of me, but I think that if it happened too often I'd kind of get tired of it, but I'm not so sure that he's that kind of sharing friend.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 4

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:39:12 PM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

He is mine and I have no interest in sharing him. I consider it best to assume others feel the same until otherwise informed.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 5

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:39:24 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

for me there is respect , manners , perhaps protocol but no i do not submit to any and all with a Top tag on .

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 6

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:40:33 PM

MstrDennynSlave

Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline

I'm in concurrence with this. I submit only to my Master. If he requests me to submit to another, I will, but only at his bidding. He feels it is not right for another Master to even ask to have me submit to them. We have talked about this ourselves and we both agree. That you only submit to your Master, not every Master out there.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 7

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:43:09 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

In my own mixed up way I used to believe a submissive should submit, in some capacity, to any dominant - at least behave subserviently. I no longer do. My Master has taught me to submit to him only, and nobody else. If he were to put me in such a pet swap as you suggested, I would be submitting to him by going along with it. He has had me do things with other men - but all of my actions were in submission to my Master, and nobody else.

I do know a few Masters who wish their slaves to behave submissively toward all men. If that is their preference then that is their preference. I tried that in the past and it was very unhealthy for me.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 8

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:43:36 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

For us, there is way too much emotional involvement with the submission to take it lightly. I can and have played without the connection, but for the boys to submit takes alot. And I ahve trained them both for me and me alone, not for anyone else, so allowing them to serve would do nthing but open an avenue for bad habits.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MstrDennynSlave)

Post #: 9

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 12:47:01 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

No, there's no 'swapping' subs. I do let him play with others, and I play with others (non-sexual). I've also loaned him for service type things, but I highly doubt that's what you're asking here.

The submission belongs to Me. Yes, I've literally told people that the collar on his neck wasn't a fashion statement.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MstrDennynSlave)

Post #: 10

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:02:36 PM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

So, I'll ask. Those of you who are sub/slave... do you submit to any D that expects you to? I already know most of the answers to this, but im curious. And for my fellow Dominants, do you expect your sub/slave to follow others orders, or are you the only one who can command?

DV
....................

Sadly I've had run-in's with Dom's who seem to think that anyone who is submissive/slave/bottom-pick the term :) is fair game to tell what to do, touch etc.
I beleive in being polite to other's no matter what title they call themselves. I submit to Wolf and Satina, and a few select other's out of respect and trust, the other's are also individuals I know that would never abuse my Owner's trust of them either.
Anyone else starts telling me what to do in a manner not appropriate I redirect them, if they don't respect that, then I tend to get snippy, and as cliched as 'yes I am a slave, but not your slave' is, it's a good way to remind the Dom/Top etc, that is over stepping.

Wolf's denika

< Message edited by denika -- 5/20/2008 1:03:10 PM >

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 11

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:11:56 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

I wouldn't submit to anyone without direction from Him ... and preferably to no one BUT Him
Giving service to others, playing with others, being with others ... all those are His decisions - or mine made under His guidance

left to my own judgement (which is His usual decision) .. I dont submit to Dominants I meet, generally I am as polite and well behaved as I am with any person ... and very very very occassionally, when I meet a Dominant I particularly respect they are given a higher degree of deference by me ...

but no .. i dont submit to any Dom who wanders into my path.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:15:11 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
Is it a common idea that someone's sub or slave is going to be submissive to anyone of Dominant ilk?

Heh, heh. Sounds about right as far as this topic is concerned.
I sub to no one unless I have a standing level of respect and personal relationship with them. I might extend some curtosey through protocol at an event if my current dom demanded it, but otherwise... people are people I don't treat them differently no matter what their personal orientation might be.

I have run into a lot of mixed up doms who seem to think I should treat them according to their domliness. I usually titter and move on before they can get righteous on me for being a bad sub.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 13

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:19:06 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

. I usually titter and move on before they can get righteous on me for being a bad sub.

oh oh you titter - i love that - i can't believe that you said that. I haven't read that in years. Got to love it. *smiles*

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 14

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:19:30 PM

katGS

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline

Since submission to anyone occurs via consent, I only submit to the one I have consented to. I am 'his' slave not the slave of everyone in the world. No, I am not an employee of Rent-A-Slave.

One reason you might be seeing more of this is because of the internet. Many people in D/s M/s get exposed to the philosophy of Gor online. In Gorean chatrooms all slaves refer to all capped nicks as Master or Mistress and all slaves are expected to be submissive to all capped nicks.

< Message edited by katGS -- 5/20/2008 2:13:10 PM >

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 15

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:20:21 PM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

absolutely not. maybe i'm weird, but i'd feel it disloyal to do so.

i was raised with manors, the basis of which is to make all people feel comfortable in my presence. and i'll socially flirt, that's just part of being southern. you end up calling everyone "sugar" "honey" and such, telling them you like the new hair cut... but Master is the only one that will ask me to fetch a mug of tea, and Master is the only one i will fetch tea for. i am His, and submit and surrender to Him alone.

Well, i do serve Banshea, but she's family >^..^< and will make slaves of us all.

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.

http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to denika)

Post #: 16

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:23:53 PM

Asherdelampyr

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline

My pet is just that, mine
she submits to me out of respect and love, not because I claim to be Dominant
I could claim to be king of France and I dont think someone would pop by with a crown...

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to phoenixinchains)

Post #: 17

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 1:45:59 PM

phedre81

Posts: 56
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

I only submit to Mine. It is expected of me (of course) to treat others with respect, and if I was "bratting" to a Top, Mine would have something to say about it. But again, the submission is to her, alone. She doesn't loan me out, and depending on the nature of what she was loaning me for, I'd be uncomfortable if she did.

While I fully understand that some people enjoy that, it seems like the basic etiquette (of which I've found most people in the "scene" to be quite full of), at least at the dungeon in my area, is that no one expects anyone else to share ANY of their toys. While it's okay to ask, it seems like it would be incredibly rude to be offended if somone didn't want to share.

_____________________________

Sing til you're breaking glass
Or you're breaking down
~Idina Menzel

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)

Post #: 18

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 2:07:42 PM

LadyAngelique01

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline

I ran into this with my sub. His former Domme shared him with several other Ds and got a bad habit started. He began seeing them without her knowledge. Since he was loaned out so much, he saw nothing wrong with it (and he was very new). One of the first things I made clear was he is mine, and I don't like to share. There are a few Tops that he can play with at parties I can't attend due to work or family, but the Tops are given strict instructions on what they are allowed to do.

Once it was clear the old rules didn't apply, the other Tops and Ds were fine with it. My sub was a little unhappy with the new rules But once after being together for a few months, he was fine with the rule.

(in reply to phedre81)

Post #: 19

RE: Sub to one and all? - 5/20/2008 2:12:54 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

So, I'll ask. Those of you who are sub/slave... do you submit to any D that expects you to? I already know most of the answers to this, but im curious. And for my fellow Dominants, do you expect your sub/slave to follow others orders, or are you the only one who can command?

Nope and nope. Valyraen does not expect me to follow other's orders unless he has given them a measure of control over me. In those cases, I am always informed of the extent and length of control. He would probably be surprised if I refused to do something reasonable (like getting a drink for someone at a party) if asked politely and it was possible for me to do so, regardless of who asked.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 20

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