Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say:

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say:

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say:

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 2:49:18 AM

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 4:51:13 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

LMAO

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 5:34:02 AM

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

LOL Great list!

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 6:17:05 AM

Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

LOL

_____________________________

Becareful what you ask for you may get it and then realize it wasn't what you wanted.
Wicked Evil Grin

(in reply to purepleasure)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 8:12:45 AM

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to mztresn0w)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 8:26:50 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

LOL for some reason as I was reading that list I kept seeing Larry the cable guy...

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to domahpet)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 11:34:56 AM

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Here's a few more things you'll never hear a redneck say:

1.    Hand me my toothbrush.
2.    I like the scent of deodorant.
3.   Camoflage is not a color.
4.    I graduated high school.
5.   Roadkill is NOT dinner.
6.    Stop doing that to your sister! What's wrong with you!?
7.    I love my wife more than my hunting dog.
8.    A pick-up truck is not a Country Cadillac.
9.    Commercial fishing does not include dynamite.
10. My idea of light reading is reading "The Grapes of Wrath".

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 9:20:19 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to rubberpet)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/22/2008 9:31:42 PM

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Too funny!

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/23/2008 2:19:08 PM

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

- Should I diversify my portfolio with a hedge fund?
- Hell no I won't take the law in my own hands. I pay my taxes so I don't have to!
- Ever since my Chinese sight-seeing tour I've been trying to implement some of the more progressive socialist ideas I learned over there. The county judge is on my side, but now I need to convince the electorate. I think it's time for another wine & cheese social.
- Walk, Forest. Walk.

(in reply to servantheart)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 4:03:13 AM

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline

- This country SUCKS!
- I don't care if the cops did beat his ass for nothing - he deserved it!
- Yes I have the money but I am NOT bailing him out!
- So what if your house burned down.

And on a Lighter Note
- PLEASE stop performing oral sex on Me, or I will have to call the police!

< Message edited by AVoiceofSanity -- 5/24/2008 4:06:02 AM >

_____________________________

Using the limits and needs of another to improve and grow yourself is one of the basics of this Lifestyle.

(in reply to HypnoticDan)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 12:26:19 PM

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

A virgin?!? Well heck, if her own family won't mess with her I ain't gonna waste my time with her neither.

Oh, wait, they just might say somethin' like that.

(in reply to AVoiceofSanity)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 12:35:25 PM

Posts: 268
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

sorta OF A red neck myself,I can relate to having 10 or so deer heads in my den which also happens to be my dining room and kissing cousins are OK in my book but have to be second cousins,I have my integrity you know,was invited to a friends house warming party to help him take the wheels off his new home and Larry the cable guy has it down,now with this said tongue in cheek I will admit when Diane and got married all my trophy deer mounts went out in the trash lol...

_____________________________

STEP INTO MY DARKNESS AND LET THE LIGHT OF YOUR SUBMISSION SHINE..

(in reply to Saratov)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 4:11:53 PM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

So I understand the joke completely... never having encountered a redneck, or spent much time in America.

Some of the list could be Britished -up... change redneck to Cornishman.... and I can say that, I'm Cornish!

_____________________________

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.- Bill Bailey

(in reply to hammernhoney)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 4:27:04 PM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

LOL for some reason as I was reading that list I kept seeing Larry the cable guy...

I kept seeing the faces of a couple of my ex's.....

1.   No, it's not a good day to go fishin - the weather isn't good enough
2.    Hunt Bambi for the Freezer? That's just cruel and inhumane.
3.    I just can't understand why someone would Want to get mud on their truck.
4.    We can't go out to the bar with you and Bobby Sue, Bubba - we have tickets to La Boheme tonight.
5.    2step? I thought that was called the Foxtrot.

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 5:46:05 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*snort*

(btw..Great profile :) )

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 6:04:14 PM

Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

I kept seeing the faces of a couple of my ex's.....

1.   No, it's not a good day to go fishin - the weather isn't good enough
2.    Hunt Bambi for the Freezer? That's just cruel and inhumane.
3.    I just can't understand why someone would Want to get mud on their truck.
4.    We can't go out to the bar with you and Bobby Sue, Bubba - we have tickets to La Boheme tonight.
5.    2step? I thought that was called the Foxtrot.

Or don't forget Bill Engvall........

< Message edited by LadyRainfire -- 5/24/2008 6:06:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 6:06:20 PM

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I know people who resemble this list.
I might add:
I cant wear this shirt with that bra... the straps might show!
Do white shoes start before or after labor day?

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 6:20:05 PM

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

nevahhh!!!!

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say: - 5/24/2008 9:29:29 PM

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

The water in this jar smells kinda funny, should I pour it out?

(in reply to christine1)

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Things You'll Never Hear a Redneck Say:

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

3.594