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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 7:51:29 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

At the risk of showing my age and time in this way of life/lifestyle (a term btw i HATE), i remember the days when there were only bottoms and slaves, tops and owner/masters... there was nothing in between. Being owned meant you were not only property but a slave and the one who owned you earned his postion from viable experience and respect from his peers. Ah yes, to have the days back when everything was very black and white.

p.s. i am sorry if this post offends as it was not my intent :-)
quote:




I couldnt agree more


_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 301
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 7:59:29 PM   
sudja


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Delvin



Now, come to my house with your Master, and I ask you to please help my slave serve dinner and let me see you say, "I dont have to neener neener"....Will be happy to hand your Master the whip..



My Mistress would laugh at you if you didn't clear it with Her first.

But She would laugh with much courtesy, of course.

And all the respect you deserved.

Oh, and if you handed Her a whip in those circumstances? You'd better be ducking or able to handle the non-handle end.

sudja

(in reply to Delvin)
Profile   Post #: 302
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:07:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
she will always be property nothing more nothing less.

So you aren't also going to make her your wife?

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 303
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:12:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
but even though she has authority like an alpha in a hareum she dosent rise above her owner or the free or anyother Master/Sir/Mistress/Dom either. This still dosent change her place

If you attend a BESS Business Meeting, you will respect my authority as chair within that space. I don't care if you own every single other person in the room- my authority is chair and to run an efficient meeting and IS above your authority in that context. You can take yourself and anyone else you own out the door if you like, but as long as you choose to come to a meeting, you choose to accept my authority within those domains.

Same if you attend a class I am teaching. You will respect my authority within the class as the teacher.

Again, these are relational authority figures. At a BESS meeting, you would be required to be called upon to speak. If we were at a dungeon and I were bottoming to you, perhaps you would require me to call upon you to speal.

The fact remains however, that I do have authority over others, no matter their orientation, in many aspects of "this lifestyle."

Even if I lacked special authority roles, were not chair, did not teach classes- you still would have no authority over me in terms of general social interactions.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 304
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:14:22 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Yes this is for the fact of my childrens safety. There is much you dont know about me LA and this is something I will not share with the community.If you would like to know the reasons I want to do this then a private email would suffice so I can show you why I am doing this. Still this dosent give her any authority other than those of my children and estate.


Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 305
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:17:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:


Yes this is for the fact of my childrens safety. There is much you dont know about me LA and this is something I will not share with the community.If you would like to know the reasons I want to do this then a private email would suffice so I can show you why I am doing this. Still this dosent give her any authority other than those of my children and estate.

The point is you keep making these sweeping strong points...that aren't really accurate. Thus you have to recant your statement and clarify, which makes not only your original statement weakened, but adds to the evidence that you don't really think things through and put forth an entirely accurate picture of things, but rather rely on emotions and the desire to portray a particular perspective.

I don't know if you keep doing it because you just aren't thinking it through before sending or because it's a habit of style or another motive altogether.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 306
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:26:33 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		The point of the matter is that you may have authority at a given moment but you are given the opportunity to be in this position of authority. This by no means that you are a authority figure by your own doing

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 307
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:48:48 PM   
MastertoyMaker


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		I have to thank EmeraldSlave2 or perhaps someone earlier who drug the discussion back to the proper term "dominant" rather than "dominate". it is rather hard to not snicker at those who refer to themselves as a verb IMO Also, my sub refers to one person as "Master". She can use the polite term "Sir" as she chooses to those who have earned her respect (she is under no obligation to do so), but Master is one person for her. Automatic Masters and Sirs? I just have to say "nyet" to that as it may even generate a misleading perception of respect where none actually exists and the basis for it has not been earned.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 308
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 9:37:07 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		Well if your looking for a place to find BDSM terms defined, I would suggest
http://www.grohol.com/psypsych/List_of_BDSM_terms
A very well researched out are. I haven’t gone through all of it yet. Too much time posting here LOL…
Here is what is becoming the accepted common usage of the word submissive:
Submissive or “sub” for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene.
Protocol changes over time. For example, it was once considered an insult to wear any type of head gear in a house. Now it is done all the time. A male in the 40’s would not dream of going outside without a hat. And what about teachers always wearing ties?
My wife/sub is an RN. Two years ago when I was on IV antibiotics, she was “in charge” of my case. Does this mean that I was subservient to her? YES.. in a nurse/patient relationship. Does that mean she was my Top? No, because it was limited to her expertise and that alone.
If your going to split hairs, then you do not have a Total Power Exchange relationship either. Do you tell her when to eat? When to breathe? Total means total or it means whatever you are using it to mean:
1 : comprising or constituting a whole : ENTIRE <the total amount>
2 : ABSOLUTE, UTTER <a total failure>
(from the Merriam Webster website.)TPE is a term used by people in a chosen lifestyle to communicate a form of relationship. The whole is not the sum of its parts. Do a web search on TPE and your first finds are Thermoplastic Elastomer Plastics.
In many cases authority can be situational. As in fawn being an RN in a medical situation. Well most of them. After a slip and fall, which ended in a concussion it I was that decided to go see my chiropractor before going to the ER. Still ended up there, but I proved I am Master (imagine me thumping my chest like Tarzan there) her is subbie.
Your ideas of protocol are fine as long as you respect everyone else’s. When you try and say conform or … (and maybe you should think about the fact that so many people are seeing your posts as just that.) well it’s not a lot better then the people closing down all the BDSM websites that do not conform to their protocol of what is right for viewing on the web.
Tony

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 309
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 9:47:32 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

The point of the matter is that you may have authority at a given moment but you are given the opportunity to be in this position of authority. This by no means that you are a authority figure by your own doing

Master Six


If through her hard work and learning LA (is it ok to call you that?) has reached that position of authority, then you bet it’s by her doing. Or are you saying you didn’t get your position at the club by your doing?
Again authority is situational. A police officer on duty has sweeping power. And a gun LoL. Off duty that authority is not there. Same with a doctor, a lawyer, a judge and a Top.
And I would show respect to a police officer, with the gun, that I may not show to the person otherwise. Ditto with a judge in the courts building. I am very polite to my doctor in his office. But when we run into each other outside his office, we are on a very informal first name basis.
Again situational authority.
What applies in one situation is not always right in another, even when dealing with the same person. Although disrespecting a judge or a cop can be a bad thing, even if they are off duty…if you run into them later and they are on duty …. LOL
Tony

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 310
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 5:34:28 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
The point of the matter is that you may have authority at a given moment but you are given the opportunity to be in this position of authority. This by no means that you are a authority figure by your own doing

And that's pretty much exactly the same things as being a dominant. You are no authority figure over me just because you happen to have a dominant orientation.

I'm not saying you aren't always a dominant. But I'm saying that the virtue of being a dominant in no way gives you authority over me, even in "this lifestyle." As I have noted, in many circumstances I would have authority over you.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 311
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:02:23 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

SirSix72
The point of the matter is that you may have authority at a given moment but you are given the opportunity to be in this position of authority. This by no means that you are a authority figure by your own doing

quote:

LuckyAlbatross
And that's pretty much exactly the same things as being a dominant. You are no authority figure over me just because you happen to have a dominant orientation.

I'm not saying you aren't always a dominant. But I'm saying that the virtue of being a dominant in no way gives you authority over me, even in "this lifestyle." As I have noted, in many circumstances I would have authority over you.


Am I reading this exchange correctly?

That a dominant is saying a submissive is only in a position of authority IF a dominant deems it?

Maybe in their own mind & within their own world, but this sentiment is not a universally recognized & agreed upon fact. I have known, interacted with & LEARNED from many people who identified as a submissive or slave. They most definitely did not seek or request their respected position within the community to be permitted by the dominants. That is an extremely arrogant position.

These people were respected & held in very high regard based on their achievements. These people were appreciated & sought out to participate at authority level positions within organizations such as MAsT, NLA & SPICE (& many others). They were asked to speak at lectures, do demos & teach educational classes. Not once was their authority ever disputed or debated over.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 312
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:05:15 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx
If through her hard work and learning LA (is it ok to call you that?)

As long as we don't get it confused with LadyAngelika who had the nickname first by rights.

(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 313
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:14:20 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Ah yes, to have the days back when everything was very black and white.



Just not going to happen though :/..

I understand that there is in effect from the coining of BDSM no Dominant or Submissive or slave as part of that direct acronym ..bondage, discipline, sado, masochism or sadist/masochist..but I'm sure that those that identified with doing or having those things termed themselves something..ie bottom/Top..Owner/Master..slave were the more prevalent to show further who was giver and who was receiver. Not sure when using the adj-submissive in the context of a noun came about.

Alot see these titles as honorifics. Thats surely okie dokies with me. I don't see them as that. I see them as just manners within wiitwd, no more no less. Just as in the not to recent past children were brought up to yes Sir/Ma'am to elders. Not because they knew them or they deserved it by some grand act..just simply because they were older and for the most part (though not always the case) thought to be more experienced in the lifestyle of life itself.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

< Message edited by starshineowned -- 11/10/2005 6:28:21 AM >

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 314
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:14:38 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

I woulndt say that you have authority just because you are giving a lecture you are sharing a wealth of information but remaining as such a slave...I dont see how this has anything to do with the topic

Master Six


A teacher is an authority figure, if only for the amount of time that they are in the classroom/lecture hall. Thus - a slave who gives classes "has authority".


There is nothing in classic slavery to preclude a slave having greater knowledge than his or her master. A simple example, would be a slave gillie accompanying a master on a hunt, but perhaps for the most extreme case, we might look a the Turkish Janassaries who were highly expert soldiers, something the current sultan often wasn't.

In fact, one might well judge a master who neglects the informed advice of a slave based solely on their positions.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 315
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:28:07 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I not so ambigious that I thik that I can have authority over every submissive if thats what your getting at


Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 316
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:39:52 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
I not so ambigious that I thik that I can have authority over every submissive if thats what your getting at

OK well your slave Bella made the statement "Master/Dom/Top/Mistress etc are suppost to be the athority figures in this lifestyle."

I don't know where she got that idea, since many subs/bottoms/slaves are excellent authority figures in this lifestyle, and, as you agree, masters/doms/tops/mistresses have no authority simply by virtue of being a dominant.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 317
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:43:55 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings John,

I by no means am saying that im dumb enough to not listen to my slave and that she maybe more experienced than I. I think that bella and I have learned a great deal from one another. But the fact remains that the positions that we are associated with remains the same no matter whom has more knowledge. I have often posted about limits and an open lines of communication on even the most difficult of them. I try to keep all avenues open for discussion at all times about anything with those I own. I in turn expect the same in return from them. To draw a line in the sand is fine but to be unresponsive about them is unacceptable. I see alot of the morality police on this site and many others I post on. This lifestyle among others isnt very moral now is it according to the mainstream of the vanilla lifestyle but yet we are plagued with morality. I can understand where all are coming from im just amazed how generic the lifestyle has become in the last several years.

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 318
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 6:49:10 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		im not sure where you are trying to go with this other than a person such as you are having a switch personality that I can see being prevelant in most of our debates. Do this make you more knowledgeable than other slaves or submissives. Probably not. I can see a few things about you.
1) you dont really know how to define yourself

2) you love to do anything associated with BDSM

3) you bottom/top/switch/slave

it seems a little mixed up to me really but again this is you and who can tell you what you like? noone but you and thats ok by me LA. your a different one and most difficult

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 319
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 7:02:07 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
im not sure where you are trying to go with this other than a person such as you are having a switch personality that I can see being prevelant in most of our debates.

I don't have a "switch personality." I have a dominant personality and am oriented as a slave and I enjoy topping.
quote:


1) you dont really know how to define yourself

Wow, that's a really harsh bold statement to make and COMPLETELY unrelated to the discussion at hand. How are you justifying not only making such a statement as this AND bringing it up here and now?
quote:


2) you love to do anything associated with BDSM

That's far from true.
quote:


3) you bottom/top/switch/slave

Except for the switch part, I'd agree with you on that.
quote:


it seems a little mixed up to me really but again this is you and who can tell you what you like? noone but you and thats ok by me LA. your a different one and most difficult

LOL considering you just told me that I don't know how to define myself AND what I like in the scene that's quite amusing. You can't even keep yourself straight in single posts now.

Frankly this post tears any actual hope I had of reasonable conversation with you into shreds and shatters a lot of respect I may have had for you in general.

I'll leave the rest of this discussion to any others who wish to post on it.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 320
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