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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 12:51:03 PM

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*nodding in agreement with Sunshine119*

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Sunshine119)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 12:52:13 PM

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

To put this all in a nutshell.

(snip)

The whole point is that, outside my specific spheres of influence I am just a normal bloke who claims no special privileges and makes no special demands but on. request – Use good manners. In the areas where I do have authority I do not tolerate rudeness. All in all, unless you are in a House Iron Bear Collar, Lady Neet's Personal Collar, or my Personal Collar, I do not demand that you kneel or address me in a specific fashion. Bear or Iron Bear or even IB is fine.

Bingo!!

Ding Ding Ding.

Bravo!

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to ImpGrrl)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 2:07:04 PM

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Joined: 6/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
I not so ambigious that I thik that I can have authority over every submissive if thats what your getting at

OK well your slave Bella made the statement "Master/Dom/Top/Mistress etc are suppost to be the athority figures in this lifestyle."

I don't know where she got that idea, since many subs/bottoms/slaves are excellent authority figures in this lifestyle, and, as you agree, masters/doms/tops/mistresses have no authority simply by virtue of being a dominant.

The local group I'm involved in is currently electing a new board. The three positions that are already chosen are held my myself (a submissive slave), a Domina and a Switch male, respectively. Orientation should have NOTHING to do with leadership within the scene.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 2:08:58 PM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

How can you gain experience by not involving yourself in someway within a play group?

SirSix72 asa Master Six

Damnation, i'm posting here again. *sigh* i would expect to learn from my One...not anyone else. i've never had a Man tell me he would not be interested in me because i have no r/l BDSM sex/play experience. Many seem to find it a turn-on. All tell me they must "re-train" an experienced submissive or slave to suit them.

candystripper[/font][/size][/color]

One of the worst slaves I have ever controlled was a "trained one." She wouldn't make a sound during pain play, insisted on walking three steps behind (have you ever tried to talk to someone in that position) and would drop into rediculous positions at the drop of a hat. Yet she was extremely proud at having been "well trained. " Prouder I might suggest than she was proud at being with me. I gave her walking papers within a week.

On the other hand, submissives call learn to listen and be responsive. To to this they don't need a group. All they have to have is a primary partner who explains needs and the reasons behind the needs. That's the kind of experience I love to hear about and the kind I look for in my partners

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 11/10/2005 2:09:53 PM >

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(in reply to candystripper)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 2:31:29 PM

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Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

One of the worst slaves I have ever controlled was a "trained one." She wouldn't make a sound during pain play, insisted on walking three steps behind (have you ever tried to talk to someone in that position) and would drop into rediculous positions at the drop of a hat. Yet she was extremely proud at having been "well trained. " Prouder I might suggest than she was proud at being with me. I gave her walking papers within a week.

This is great to read coming from a seasoned dominant, because I thought it was just irritating to me to be told by subs/slaves how they are supposed to be behaving (because I'm a relative novice I guess) since most dominas have expected or ordered them to behave this way.
I can respect someone being proud of serving well, but have difficulty coping with slavehood or protocols outside human differences in terms of desires, styles, and feelings. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 2:41:35 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline

I am a lil new here but from reading and here, books, and other places the "right" way of D/s or BDSM lifestyle (no matter what faction) is all based upon individuality. What one person perceives as right might seem wrong to someone else and vice versa. If I had a Master - what we do, how we act, what my requirements are may not match to someone else's view but that doesn't make it wrong - just different. I think keeping in mind that everyone is different in approaches and thinking and there is no written set standard for everything can lead to tolerance and at best an opportunity for education.

I am open to constructive criticism from others. I will objectively take their opinion, mull it over and decide if it is a fit for me but ultimately I have the power to decide if it is or isn't. In the case if I had a Master then I would defer to his wants and his requirements. I am of course always polite to any until given a reason not to be. I believe in respecting everyone no matter the station. I also on the same token don't want someone else's beliefs pushed on me as the "right" or the "norm".

I think the original intent of the post got lost somewhere on page 2 or 3 lol and has escalated into areas in which have served nothing but discourse.

I find its a lot like parenting. Some parents teach their kids to call elders Sir and Ma'am (Which I was being brought up in the south) and other parents don't. The way I raise my children might be different than someone else but that doesn't mean I am doing it the wrong way. There is no manual for parenting just as there is no manual for the BDSM lifestyle.

So - I think SirSix expressed a curious question he was wondering about and after 18 pages people are still debating it.

Btw - I really truly am enjoying the intelligence (this is said sincerely) of this forum and I have learned a great deal by reading. So thanks to all you avid posters.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 2:59:38 PM

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Joined: 6/11/2005
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I think this is cultural thing, I'm from the South born and raised, I'm Dominant, and I use sir and ma'am Constantly in regular speech. It's not a submissive/dominant thing, it's a manners thing. You're a sir or ma'am unless A.) we're buds B.) you're a total ass or C.) you're one of those odd people offended by being called Ma'am. It's just the way i was raised. Now "Master/Mistress" that's a whole different kettle of fish.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 3:03:34 PM

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

One of the worst slaves I have ever controlled was a "trained one." She wouldn't make a sound during pain play, insisted on walking three steps behind (have you ever tried to talk to someone in that position) and would drop into rediculous positions at the drop of a hat. Yet she was extremely proud at having been "well trained. " Prouder I might suggest than she was proud at being with me. I gave her walking papers within a week.

On the other hand, submissives call learn to listen and be responsive. To to this they don't need a group. All they have to have is a primary partner who explains needs and the reasons behind the needs. That's the kind of experience I love to hear about and the kind I look for in my partners

JohnWarren

~hops up and down; JohnWarren quoted me! i am not completely dim!~

candystripper

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 3:09:49 PM

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

now that is funny John. I admit I was mistaken saying what I said the way I did. I suppose what I meant was getting experiece from within a local community. I can also agree that one on one works as well.

Master Six

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I wish you well

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/10/2005 5:41:57 PM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

One of the worst slaves I have ever controlled was a "trained one." She wouldn't make a sound during pain play, insisted on walking three steps behind (have you ever tried to talk to someone in that position) and would drop into rediculous positions at the drop of a hat. Yet she was extremely proud at having been "well trained. " Prouder I might suggest than she was proud at being with me. I gave her walking papers within a week.

On the other hand, submissives call learn to listen and be responsive. To to this they don't need a group. All they have to have is a primary partner who explains needs and the reasons behind the needs. That's the kind of experience I love to hear about and the kind I look for in my partners

JohnWarren

~hops up and down; JohnWarren quoted me! i am not completely dim!~

candystripper[/font][/size][/color]

I'm sorry. I missed adding the attribution. Please accept the desire for the act.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/12/2005 9:11:54 PM

redheadedfire4u

Posts: 104
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline

omfg this is the longest thread I have ever read .... I think I am cross eyed ... but was well worth reading all 18 pages lol
for what it is worth I choose to treat all with respect ... I would no more refer to one of my old residents (Iwork in a nursing home) by their first name without their permission than I would speak to a Dom online with out capitalisation and in direct response will call them Sir ... they are not my Sir but they still deserve the respect of title till they prove otherwise that they are not worthy of it ... and even then I will still capitalise there name because I have manners even if they don't ... why indulge in mannerless and rude behaviour ... why bring myself down to their level ... that is what ignore comands are for after all and the very handy 'block" ... live and let live but I personally like the formalities and the old fashioned ideals of manners and respect ... just my thoughts not meant to be imposed on others that think differently

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/12/2005 10:02:09 PM

MasterEsqMDsgirl

Posts: 26
Joined: 10/30/2005
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This is a venue to learn and grow from and that doesn't happen when new generation folks begin to arbitrarily dismissing old school comments as potential g*rbage, this potentially is a sad commentary of what the community have evolve to and probably why this thread was opened in the first place?

Was the poster in this community 25+ years ago as i was...? i think not nor does she have the right to comment on what may or may not have been the protocol of the time.
To this poster: in the future please flame me in a private message.

quote:

ORIGINAL: -------

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

At the risk of showing my age and time in this way of life/lifestyle (a term btw i HATE), i remember the days when there were only bottoms and slaves, tops and owner/masters... there was nothing in between. Being owned meant you were not only property but a slave and the one who owned you earned his postion from viable experience and respect from his peers. Ah yes, to have the days back when everything was very black and white.

There was never this universal "black and white" you speak of. Perhaps it was such in *your* social circle, but it most certainly wasn't universal.

Saying what you said above is like saying "the only leatherfolk who existed in those days were gay - there were no het people in bdsm relationships". That's myopic and just plain wrong.

People of all sorts, and all kinds of relationships, have always existed - you may not have *known* about them, you may not have *seen* them - but they *existed*.

_____________________________

To endure for Owner's pleasures is the trait of a submissive, but to derive pleasure from that endurance because it is pleasing to ones OWNER is the trait of a slave.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/12/2005 10:37:39 PM

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wow..had to make a reply to this thread..considering how active it was..i shamefully admit to not reading all the posts though lol..

ok for me... i treat everyone with respect, its the way i was brought up. Even if someone proves to be undeserving it, im not disrespectful ..i dont see the point to disrespect.

In regards to bdsm and the protocals involved in it, i really enjoy the Sirs and Maams and Masters and Mistress titles. For me they are kinda a recognition of their roles within a lifestyle i really revel in. So in offering a title to someone, im kinda honoring what i really enjoy.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/12/2005 11:07:26 PM

MasterEsqMDsgirl

Posts: 26
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline

hey can all you folks with the extra large SEE ME FONT perhaps reduce it as it really takes up space and extra reader time. :-)

_____________________________

To endure for Owner's pleasures is the trait of a submissive, but to derive pleasure from that endurance because it is pleasing to ones OWNER is the trait of a slave.

(in reply to Sunshine119)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/13/2005 12:22:53 AM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

hey can all you folks with the extra large SEE ME FONT perhaps reduce it as it really takes up space and extra reader time. :-)

I know that there are some who have vision problems and so do need either to write in something like word in large print to edit and then cut/paste to the standard format in collarme (Which is what I do), or they write in a larger font. Don't you agree that we can cut them some slack?

< Message edited by IronBear -- 11/13/2005 12:24:36 AM >

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/13/2005 2:22:28 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

hey can all you folks with the extra large SEE ME FONT perhaps reduce it as it really takes up space and extra reader time. :-)

I wear glasses, I am thankfull to all extra large SEE ME FONT I find on internet. Makes my head hurt less while trying to read usual flea-font that seems to be so popular lately. I almost got expelled from one webmasters comunity online when I dared to ask what is wrong with Verdana 11px and who said 8px was a must. Funny people.

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Kassia

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/13/2005 3:07:59 AM

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia
I wear glasses, I am thankfull to all extra large SEE ME FONT I find on internet. Makes my head hurt less while trying to read usual flea-font that seems to be so popular lately. I almost got expelled from one webmasters comunity online when I dared to ask what is wrong with Verdana 11px and who said 8px was a must. Funny people.

GEEK tip:
If you have a scroll mouse, hold ctrl and scroll with it. With many of them, this will increase of decrease the size of the fonts on the webpage...
Format of Hard Drive done... now to rebuilt it maw hahahaha

(in reply to Kasia)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/13/2005 3:32:18 AM

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

i must admit i kind of like being called lass, it has the whole cletic charm, but anyway i dont see anything wrong whit calling a girl lass, girl or anything like that, as long as one back of if she says she do not like it. As for using titels, i am from Norway, here we dont use titels we either just use somones first name or in formal letters use both the first and the last name, only realy old ladies is called fru (madam) such and such. i was nearly knoked of my feet whit suprise when i visited Engeland and a store clerk called me madam.

Now as for whitin the BDSM comunity i am a submissive, i might even have been a slave if things had fallen differently. If a Dominant wish me to adress him a paticular way, i would, but he or she would have to ask first and indicate what he wanted for many will be insulted if i refer to them as Sir when i dont know them. i will however not refer to a stranger as Master unless order by my Dom to do so. If i wisited another lifestyle family and was asked to help serve dinner, i would do as asked, hell, i would do that in any home where i was guest, but if i was asked to give sexual servises i would not do that whitout my Master`s orders.

Now i dont see anything wrong whit SirSix`s opinions, he is not talking aboute hurting anyone here or taking somthing that is not his, and as long as he respect a polite no, i will not call you Master, i dont see anything wrong whit asking. And i fully exepct that if i behaved wrong somone could send a mail and tell my Master aboute it, however it would be his choice to act on that knowledge or not.

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/13/2005 3:37:33 AM

Guest

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

hey can all you folks with the extra large SEE ME FONT perhaps reduce it as it really takes up space and extra reader time. :-)

If you don't like something,pass it by.

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/13/2005 3:53:26 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx

GEEK tip:
If you have a scroll mouse, hold ctrl and scroll with it. With many of them, this will increase of decrease the size of the fonts on the webpage...
Format of Hard Drive done... now to rebuilt it maw hahahaha

Thanks for the tip, I actually use the browser option when I want to read long text size 3-4, but I just dont like to adjust those things....... somehow I find proper to look at the website just the way whoever made it intended it to be viewed. Call me a weirdo

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I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to Phoenxx)

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