RE: The your not my Dom syndrome

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The your not my Dom syndrome

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:14:49 PM

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

I do tend to speak the way I am to anyone they can take it or leave it really.....this is a term of enderment not a slap in the face such as slut or whore......would I have the right to use this type of language to anyone sub/slave? I think not....and to answer your question yes I use it in public in a club full of strangers that are of the same lines of thinking as I..........im going there this weekend to a Hallows eve party in New Orleans....do the majority of women there have a problem with it "no" most smile and follow me around the club like a puppy...........if I was to say hello whore..... how far do you think I would get? hmmm? but like I said again let the silent majority speak for itself to me.........then I may see where each is coming from and they can see where I am also.......

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:14:56 PM

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

I'll pass on the mustard.

(in reply to Sensualips)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:15:59 PM

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

Ever wonder about people who speak so eloquently for the silent majority Six?

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:23:35 PM

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

I dunno,I never called anyone little one.

I do notice that a majority of those who call it to themselves weigh something like 300 plus pounds though. But Medieval humor never really died, did it?
[
/quote]

to a short chick-its cute,lol............ ps i dont weigh 300 lbs
another words this one doesn't get offended by the term

geez i hate it when i get my thought stuck in the lil box...........

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 10/24/2005 6:25:49 PM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to JustaTop)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:38:39 PM

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Six you are applying your own standards- that one's personal orientation indicates a special status and thus that status needs to be recognized with specific words...to everyone.

That in itself is generally a bad way to go about life.

However, when you THEN use words that PRESUME a specific level of social closeness, such as pet names, it is presumptuous to say the least. What would you then do if I started calling you snookums or darlin honey pie because that's what I DO call dominants "in their station"?

And even if you happen to LIKE being called snookums or darlin honey pie is of no matter. THe fact is that using a name for someone OTHER THAN WHAT THEY HAVE SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU IS PREFERABLE TO THEM, especially after they've told you they dislike the term you are using, is rude.

That has nothing to do with control, unless you consider using a napkin at the dinner table as the hosts horrible cruel way to try and bring you down a notch or two.

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:40:46 PM

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

then if you are in your station then why would such a remark as little one ruffle your feathers....are you or arent you a sub/slave.......maybe each this would apply to someone that only plays part time.......I am always in my station and never mistakes my kindness for weakness.....this is almost saying that you bestow me some kind of honor that you call me sir or Master.....to be honset and not sound prude the person bestowing it means nothing....it is how "I" feel about it.....once again I will emphasize a sub dosent make a Dom or a Master we make and mold you......it would seem that the script is becoming flipped again.....it is almost as if the sub/slave is trying to define the Dominant once again....review my other threads and posts
respect is given when it is earned or approached at the beginning...not somewhere in the middle when a sub/slave decides that there has been enough to prove you are honorable...take a long look from both sides...shouls there not be somewhere to meet in the middle while remaining in your prospective station?

Master Six

i find this a confusing and contrary statement to the "mutual respect and common courtesy" position i thought You took earlier. Some women are telling You that being called "little one" by a stranger on the boards is offensive...and Your response seems to be that unless we allow others -- Doms and Masters we have no relationship with -- to define what will and will not offend, we are trying to "mold Doms". This is kinda silly; when i tell You i am offended there is an inherent "please do not repeat" built in that "common courtesy" requires You accept. Personally i have never liked being called Ma'am and occassionally take the trouble of saying so...other days i just cannot be bothered.

What confounds me is Your concern for the protocols and words used to speak to You and other Men...so what? Unless we call You names, i think most of us intend our posts to be polite, at the very least. If we use a nick that disturbs You, say so, and we will try to accomodate You...just as we expect You to do.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 10/24/2005 6:41:59 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:44:54 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/22/2004
Status: offline

The whole focus on the verbage used in conversation is not really what's important. What's more important is doing what works best in your particular relationship. If the dominate is content with his/her position with their submissive and they have decided on how they will respond to other people in any social environment, then the rest of us should respect that decision and not be offended just because they might do things differently than someone else.

I don't personally use titles like Master, Sir, Ma'am, etc. as a rule, but that doesn't mean I don't respect the person or that I would be rude to them. I reserve these titles for people that I hold in very high esteem or in certain circumstances and do not use them loosely for just anyone. Dave is perfectly comfortable with that and if he decides to direct me to address someone a certain way, then I'll certainly do as he desires because I want to please him.

Thank you for reviewing my comments,

Davesgirl

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:50:20 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I've been critisised for using the term "lass/Lass", "lad/Lad" and even "my old son". Frankly I don't give a flying fruit bat if it gets some one's knickers in a knot. I do not have the endless years at my disposal to be worried is everything I say has the potential to upset one of the million odd people who may or may not browse these forums. If they have a problem, they talk to me in a not rufde or agressive manner and we'll sort the matter out. However dont anyone hold their breath and expect me to change my speach patterns or way of thinking in case some wittle fing gets hurt. I'm going to restate this one more time.... I use the terms lad, lass, old boy, old son etc as terms of endearment, not terms of belittlement. If I know you really well, well enough to say we are friends and you are a sub/slave, I'll refer to you as a "lil one", especially if you are not so small. It is saying that in my eyes your size doesn't matter and if it were necessary, I'd pick you up and carry you to safety. Now before anyone jumps is and tries to force with arguements me to alter my modes of adress.. BACKUP AND SUT UP! Your arguments will not be effective! I will not change how I think or speak. I see no reason and I'll be fucked if anyone here has the right or ability to make me change that. You dont like what I say or how I say it? Block me and join a reasonably large group who has. It wont hurt me none.. Worst case is I can walk out of collarme and have no regrets. Those who I do like can always contact me via real email. So get real people, ask your selves why a term lile "lil one" upsets you and then ask how it was ment. it may be a compliment and maybe you need some serious therapy.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/24/2005 6:51:36 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:50:33 PM

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Have i refered to you as that again since your post emerald? no I dont think that I have.........so why beat a dead horse? funny as it is to me that it bothers you I can understand...........and pinkpleasures why are you repeting the same behaviour?like I said if there are many in the multitudes then let them speak with emails if they dont want to speak on the boards...see you two are speaking for the unheard multitudes? kinda weird to me that you can do that..........unless there is some circle of women I have yet to stumble upon.....

...........and emeraldslave if you refered to me as pooky pie lmfaorotf...would be a little entertaining at the least honestly..and a social lubercant in a weird sort of way kinda takes the edge off of our positions doesnt it? I do enjoy having fun and laughing im not the hard ass Master all the time....but again dont mistake my kindness for weakness

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:57:05 PM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

here is where things seem to get really foggy....if you are property then you have an Owner.........if you refer to me as a Master or Sir does this imply Ownership...I think not.........A Dom/Sir/Master doesnt need a sub/slave to define His/Her station....nor does the sub/slave need a Dominate to define His/Her...what denotes a relationship is the Ownership of another.......your Owner owns you not you own Him.....like by saying "my Dom" denotes ownership in the context it is written......my Owner denotes that He in turn owns you......all this fog kinda hard to see......

Master Six

This doesn't really address the issue or the situation I proposed at all.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 7:32:55 PM

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

So get real people, ask your selves why a term lile "lil one" upsets you and then ask how it was ment. it may be a compliment and maybe you need some serious therapy.

IronBear

Perhaps the phrase carries a different meaning from Someone of Your reputation for mutual respect and wisdom, Sir. i think You could call me anything and not insult me...i have such trust and respect for You. Coming from a stranger, as Master Six is to me, it sometimes feels funny. i myself tend to brush aside that portion of His posts to try and see what He is saying of substance...but if i asked Him to stop calling me "little one" and He persisted, i would tend to assume He wanted to get my goat. Just my two cents.

pinkpleasures

_____________________________

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 7:38:43 PM

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

Have i refered to you as that again since your post emerald? no I dont think that I have.........so why beat a dead horse? funny as it is to me that it bothers you I can understand...........and pinkpleasures why are you repeting the same behaviour?like I said if there are many in the multitudes then let them speak with emails if they dont want to speak on the boards...see you two are speaking for the unheard multitudes? kinda weird to me that you can do that..........unless there is some circle of women I have yet to stumble upon..... ...........and emeraldslave if you refered to me as pooky pie lmfaorotf...would be a little entertaining at the least honestly..and a social lubercant in a weird sort of way kinda takes the edge off of our positions doesnt it? I do enjoy having fun and laughing im not the hard ass Master all the time....but again dont mistake my kindness for weakness

Master Six

*sigh* It is disingenous to post an Op and begin a thread, and then declare those of us responding "beating a dead horse". i was happiest when it seemed You wished for common courtesy (there's an oxymoron) and mutual respect. i am a bit put off by the dynamic You seem to see in which uncollared subbies and slaves state their preferences in things large and small and thusly, are "molding Doms".

i can not speak more eloquently on this than i have...we are not in any relationship and You owe me no less respect than i owe You.

pinkpleasures

_____________________________

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 7:59:45 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

This tags on something Em said earlier and pink's comments to me. Effectively, I may call you what ever I like, but if you have specifically asked to be called something or asked not to be called something, it would be crass for me to ignore that request and if you are collared, why should I wish to insult your Master/Sir/Owner by ignoring your requests?

Its like, if I asked pink out to dinner and dancing with Neets and I, you can guarantee that pink would be treated exactly as she deserves as both a lady and friend (which also includes some bearish teasing as well), why? because she is just that a friend, I dont own her ergo I cant dictate things to her.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 8:12:00 PM

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

pinkpleasures,

I have read many of your post personally and you have been through soem identical thigns as you and in a way I identified with you on the emotional side of things...I would never attempt to get your goat...I would rather have a positive affirmation from you then the negative.....you are a sweet person and I do enjoy alot of your posts the essence is stimulating.....if I truly bother someone with anything I call them let them confront me about it and myself and that person can hash it out.....and come to an understanding...read through some of my posts espicially the one about D's unplanned pregnacy...there you can see me for what I truly am..I have bared my soul as have many others on these boards so that someone can learn from it wether it be right or wrong....its still an experience and we learn from our mistakes as well as others.........I wish you the happiness you seek to attain............

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 8:20:03 PM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Delvin

Now, come to my house with your Master, and I ask you to please help my slave serve dinner and let me see you say, "I dont have to neener neener"....Will be happy to hand your Master the whip..

This statement makes two assumptions:

1) You're assuming that her Dominant/Master has indicated that it is appropriate to take directions from you.

2) You're assuming that because you're displeased with her, so is her Dominant.

Neither may be the case.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Delvin)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 8:42:45 PM

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

this is really the proper thing to do......how could that if I was at lets take for instance IronBears home and He asked bella politely to help with serving the men and the free of the home and she said neener neener......I would let IronBear take the first round with her then I would take up round two....now if someone had instructed her to suck His dick without my prior permission on it then i would say hang on fella did ya ask Me first.......I take bella to a club among the free and enslaved in New Orleans mind you this is an alternative club and I have her walk around topless and I there are many whom approach Me asking permission to use her...would I depended on the person asking and the comfort level between us all....knowing where your loyalities lie and everyone elses is a wonderful thing and the freedom experienced from it is quite stimiluting......

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 8:45:18 PM

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

I would beat bella black and blue if she wasnt cordial to those that arent free and address them properly......

This is one huge reason I would not have respect for you, refer to you as Sir, ROTFLMAO....Maybe the title Abusive Batterer, who maybe should experience a bit of jail time... would fall easily from my finger tips, but Sir, Master....Not a chance!

*Brightspot

< Message edited by brightspot -- 10/24/2005 8:48:09 PM >

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 8:49:46 PM

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

wow...you have the kamakazi approach to this also...I just read another post you made to pinkpleasures...do you get off on trying to tear others down?your respect means nothing to me so we can agree to disagree then?

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to brightspot)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 8:53:53 PM

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
If they have a problem, they talk to me in a not rufde or agressive manner and we'll sort the matter out. However dont anyone hold their breath and expect me to change my speach patterns or way of thinking in case some wittle fing gets hurt. I'm going to restate this one more time....

If I may say Bear, there are a few key differences in your approach and Six's.

First off, you never start threads going on about politeness and expectations of behavior of someone else. For better or for worse, this opens the door for the OP to be extra carefully scrutinized for these exact things.

Secondly, when someone like me DOES pop up and say "Hey just FYI, I don't like that" you don't respond with some hogwash defense about how it's my place, and how I'm trying to control you. You tease politely back, apologize for any perceived indiscretion and explain how it is simply your lexicon. Asking you to stop calling someone lass or lad would be like asking me to stop saying nifty- it would take a long time of concentrated effort.

Six unfortunately has responded with each and every possible alternate explanation with a clear slamming of the door, a resounding "this is the RIGHT WAY and if you disagree you're just NOT IN YOUR PLACE" with absolutely no real sense of wanting to cooperate and get at the meat of things.

One has to wonder about a man who so often gets rude replies that he has to start a post about it.

And I just have to add that someone giving me a "good girl" about safe sex practices is fairly amusing considering my sex life.

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 9:12:01 PM

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
If they have a problem, they talk to me in a not rufde or agressive manner and we'll sort the matter out. However dont anyone hold their breath and expect me to change my speach patterns or way of thinking in case some wittle fing gets hurt. I'm going to restate this one more time....

If I may say Bear, there are a few key differences in your approach and Six's.

First off, you never start threads going on about politeness and expectations of behavior of someone else. For better or for worse, this opens the door for the OP to be extra carefully scrutinized for these exact things.

Secondly, when someone like me DOES pop up and say "Hey just FYI, I don't like that" you don't respond with some hogwash defense about how it's my place, and how I'm trying to control you. You tease politely back, apologize for any perceived indiscretion and explain how it is simply your lexicon. Asking you to stop calling someone lass or lad would be like asking me to stop saying nifty- it would take a long time of concentrated effort.

Six unfortunately has responded with each and every possible alternate explanation with a clear slamming of the door, a resounding "this is the RIGHT WAY and if you disagree you're just NOT IN YOUR PLACE" with absolutely no real sense of wanting to cooperate and get at the meat of things.

One has to wonder about a man who so often gets rude replies that he has to start a post about it.

And I just have to add that someone giving me a "good girl" about safe sex practices is fairly amusing considering my sex life.

Y'know Em, originally you used to get up my nose so fast I had to take a few paces back to see why I was allowing you to get to me.. So Ok we've had one or two spats and maybe cleared the air to the point that I enjoy reading your posts and have developed a healthy respect for you. there is no way known that we will agree in all things but like most of my friends, that is both valuable and healthy.... Maybe I just understand Six better who knows but he and I seem to be on the same channel (Gorean?)... Anyway lass, there are time when I could just give you a bear hug and other time when I could paddle your tail, but thete are no times when I will disrespect you intentionally...... All this verbage is my way of saying thank you Em for making me blush with your post.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The your not my Dom syndrome

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.059