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Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 2:18:15 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

After reading the thread about "How do you find out?", I decided to start a similar one.
I have not been in a serious or sexual relationship for a LONG time.

That said {or admitted}

, I have decided that prior to entering a serious relationship, AND before any bodily fluids or sexual activities take place, I want BOTH of us to be tested for
any sexually transmitted diseases. We can then share and exchange the results with each other.
Of course I realize that certain diseases have a latency period, but recent and current testing is about the best that anyone can do.

I would hope that my partner would be honest and forthright about his medical condition, but I think it is
only fair for both of us to have recent testing and share the results.

Does anyone else operate this way? I think it is also prudent and wise for a submissive to request this of a Dominant. Requesting current testing should be fair to request on both sides of the kneel.
Would you still enter into a serious/sexual relationship with someone that REFUSED to obtain current up to date test results? { I don't want to see results from last year or 4 years ago}

Idea's and comments welcome.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

Post #: 1

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 2:27:16 PM

Constrictor1

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline

Yes MzMia, there are others out here who operate this way. 20 years ago if you got an STD you went for a penicillin shot. Now if you get AIDS you die. I am responsible for My own health as well as my slaves health and indiectly her 6 year old son also. It would be dangerously irresponsible to allow my desire for strange pussy to allow a deadly disease access to those I care about.

Constrictor1

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 2

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 2:27:22 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

IMHO Yes its reasonable and NO I would not enter into a relationship where someone refused.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

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Post #: 3

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 2:42:09 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

IMHO Yes its reasonable and NO I would not enter into a relationship where someone refused.

MLady, I think some women are too timid or too trusting, to ask for recent test results.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 4

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 2:58:08 PM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

I think that it would also be wise to be tested every so often throughout the relationship, even if the relationship is considered monogymous. People have been known to cheat on their partner, so beware of a false sense of security.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 5

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 2:59:05 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

After reading the thread about "How do you find out?", I decided to start a similar one.
I have not been in a serious or sexual relationship for a LONG time.

That said {or admitted}, I have decided that prior to entering a serious relationship, AND before any bodily fluids or sexual activities take place, I want BOTH of us to be tested for
any sexually transmitted diseases. We can then share and exchange the results with each other.
Of course I realize that certain diseases have a latency period, but recent and current testing is about the best that anyone can do.

I would hope that my partner would be honest and forthright about his medical condition, but I think it is
only fair for both of us to have recent testing and share the results.

Does anyone else operate this way? I think it is also prudent and wise for a submissive to request this of a Dominant. Requesting current testing should be fair to request on both sides of the kneel.
Would you still enter into a serious/sexual relationship with someone that REFUSED to obtain current up to date test results? { I don't want to see results from last year or 4 years ago}

Idea's and comments welcome.

The previous post started off asking about soundness of mind and I am pleased that this has been opened up as an entirely different thread because indeed the dilemma is quite quite different in my opinion.
I honestly believe that most mental health testing is at best 'somewhat' valid and at worse arbitary ultural nonsense. Medical screening on the other hand gives more sound results that verbal, self- ppraisal or interview questionnaire and diagnostics. not everyone agrees here.
Medical diagnostics for the presence of HIV/AIDS and STD's are very reliable. They are available here in the UK free of charge on the National Health Service. This provides a confidential service and at least in my county there is an immediate same day emergency availability of testing and advice from caring professionals who work under extreme pressure and demand. In other words there are no excuses for not getting tested. I believe that testing needs to be done three months after the last sexual contact as this is past the incubation period and likely to give a valid result.
Getting tested retrospectively like this is not the best solution though. What to do with a positive test result is still a question of personal ethics and in this prejudicial society raises huge fears of the disclosure process.
However I would value being contacted at any point by anyone I had been in sexual contact with rather than not to be contacted.
I always always ask about a person's disease knowledge. I always insist on safe sex. In the heat of certain scenes I believe I have been cheated, It put me into a panic and I got screened with all available tests. I will not be swayed. I will not be told that there is no indication in my sexual record that I am comparatively not at risk. I am assertive.
I know today as we speak that I have absolutely no diseases, that my blood, urine, and heart traces are absolutely fine. I am blessed. I am fortuneate given my age and experience. I am fortunezate given the trust I have given Doms and been lied to especially with regard to their 'monogamous' lifestyle.
All I ask is for the same degree of assertiveness by others.
If someone demanded of me that I be tested again then I would comply. If someone told me that they had not been tested, or did not know the results, or refused top tell me the results then it would raise the noisiest alarm bells within me.
And I sincerely wish that mental health had the same decisive tests and resuls. Scizophrenia isn't communicable, however it can be insidiously latent, waiting simply waiting for a trigger.....
What I am saying is this: if an illness is preventable then I personally will take all steps to prevent it.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/26/2008 3:04:03 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 6

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:04:55 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Yes, when Fox and I knew that we would want a sexual component to our relationship, we both were tested and we both shared the results with each other as well as we both went into the doctor to talk before the testing together. If one is going to have any level of risk of disease or pregnancy I think you need to be willing and able to do this.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 7

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:08:46 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have been tested, multiple times after my ex and I divrced and I found out he had been cheating with hookers.
Fox and Angel are both virgins, so I wasnt worried about getting them tested, though tey are free to do so.
If Fox wanted meto get tested againand share results, I wouldnt have had problems with that. I didnt have my most recent test here in TN, so I hadnt a clue where the documentation had gotten off to, but he took my word for it. I gave him the option of waiting until I did have new tests and new proof, though. Assuming someone wasnt a virgin, if we were going to be getting involved, I would aboslutely demand a test and if it were refused then ther would be no contact. There are certain things you just do not mess with, and STDs are one of them.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 8

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:09:49 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

MzMia I think about this a lot. I didn't nor did my owner go through testing because each of us had been married 20+ years with each other being the first.But.. I've never dated since my divorce. If something happened where I didn't belong to him anymore I would have to enter *cue danger & dramatic music* the dating thing. Ugh. I haven't the first idea on how to go about it. I'm shy and I would really have a tough time bringing the subject up. I'd like to think that my brain would stay in control, that I wouldn't enter into a physical or sexual thing until I knew the person well enough to be able to talk about testing.Thankfully at this point it is all a mental exercise and not my reality! If that ever happened you would all be subjected to the dumbest questions ever asked on CM!! So count yourselves lucky that I'm firmly entrenched in belonging to the man I love, worship etc.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 9

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:19:49 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Thank you all for some great replies!

I really feel many women are too shy "too ask", and I hope most women would
not be too shy to request testing.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 10

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:22:36 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Nope- I'm open poly, a slut to some lesser or greater degree of activity at any point in time, and tests are only good for that day they are taken.

To me it is just not practical. I assume everyone is clueless about their sexual history and has everything and take what precautions I feel are necessary for that. If someone has a different standard, I choose on a case by case basis whether to abide by them or not.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 11

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:27:45 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Nope- I'm open poly, a slut to some lesser or greater degree of activity at any point in time, and tests are only good for that day they are taken.

To me it is just not practical. I assume everyone is clueless about their sexual history and has everything and take what precautions I feel are necessary for that. If someone has a different standard, I choose on a case by case basis whether to abide by them or not.

I appreciate LA's comments!
We all have a right to operate in a manner that we are comfortable with.
Everyone is not interested about having their partner or partner's tested, we all have our
own comfort levels.

I just HOPE that people will not be too shy or afraid to ask a new or existing partner to be tested, JUST because they are too scared or timid to request testing.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:33:07 PM

LordEuman

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline

It is the responsibility of ALL involved to be tested and to request a recent (within the last 60 days, I require last 30 days) test from ANYONE they are having any sexual contact with, protected or not. (Condoms and dental dams are not 100%, nothing is 100% except abstenence and figure the odds of that with consenting adults with like wants, needs and desires and raging hormones. lol

But if someone does not or will not provide a recent test result other han thier word then let them kick rocks not your ass.

That is My Opinion on the matter

(in reply to Constrictor1)

Post #: 13

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 3:38:57 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordEuman

It is the responsibility of ALL involved to be tested and to request a recent (within the last 60 days, I require last 30 days) test from ANYONE they are having any sexual contact with, protected or not. (Condoms and dental dams are not 100%, nothing is 100% except abstenence and figure the odds of that with consenting adults with like wants, needs and desires and raging hormones. lol

But if someone does not or will not provide a recent test result other han thier word then let them kick rocks not your ass.

That is My Opinion on the matter

Dang! You tell em' LordEuman!
I agree with the current 30 day results, I don't want test results from
months ago, either.
Welcome and congratulations on your first post!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LordEuman)

Post #: 14

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 4:25:35 PM

Vigilantejustice

Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

After reading the thread about "How do you find out?", I decided to start a similar one.
I have not been in a serious or sexual relationship for a LONG time.

That said {or admitted}, I have decided that prior to entering a serious relationship, AND before any bodily fluids or sexual activities take place, I want BOTH of us to be tested for
any sexually transmitted diseases. We can then share and exchange the results with each other.
Of course I realize that certain diseases have a latency period, but recent and current testing is about the best that anyone can do.

Idea's and comments welcome.

I require 6 months of fidelity, and two recent clean tests (i.e. one at the start of the relationship and one at the 6 month mark) before fluid bonding takes place. I'm in a closed poly household right now, so it's reasonable for us to expect a new partner to be willing to be only with us for an extended period of time. That being said, I don't require testing before sexual contact, but safer sex practices are maintaned until the aforementioned requirements have been met.
-Corinne
House Vigilante

_____________________________

“Love begets love. This torment is my joy.”
"Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries."
"[Your work] is carved out of agony as a statue is carved out of marble." -All by Theodore Roethke

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 15

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 4:46:57 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

Nope! The subject never came up between us and we had sex a month after we met and a few hours before actually going on our first date. LOL! Yea, we did is bassackwards.

(in reply to Vigilantejustice)

Post #: 16

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 5:04:42 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Like yourself, I've made it a point when I entered into a new relationship to get the full series of blood tests done. It was funny as the public health nurse had this puzzled look on her face when I said I was here voluntarily and not because of any concerns I had. I then had to explain that I was entering a new relationship and I was simply taking responsibility for my health. I was fortunate enough that I was able to have my then new partner in the room when I went for the results.

If I had a partner who refuses for whatever reason to get themself tested then I'd really question why the resistance to getting tested. I will also seriously question myself in whether or not I want to be in a relationship with a person who isn't as contentious as I am in this matter. Granted I would question his reluctance and listen to what he had to say before deciding to walk away from the relationship.

_____________________________

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Promiscuous boy you already know
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(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 17

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 5:07:10 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vigilantejustice

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

After reading the thread about "How do you find out?", I decided to start a similar one.
I have not been in a serious or sexual relationship for a LONG time.

That said {or admitted}, I have decided that prior to entering a serious relationship, AND before any bodily fluids or sexual activities take place, I want BOTH of us to be tested for
any sexually transmitted diseases. We can then share and exchange the results with each other.
Of course I realize that certain diseases have a latency period, but recent and current testing is about the best that anyone can do.

Idea's and comments welcome.

I require 6 months of fidelity, and two recent clean tests (i.e. one at the start of the relationship and one at the 6 month mark) before fluid bonding takes place. I'm in a closed poly household right now, so it's reasonable for us to expect a new partner to be willing to be only with us for an extended period of time. That being said, I don't require testing before sexual contact, but safer sex practices are maintaned until the aforementioned requirements have been met.
-Corinne
House Vigilante

This post represents one of the reason's I love this place.
I am making a note of this Corrine!
...6 months of fidelity....two recent clean tests.....one at the start and another at 6 month mark.
Thank you!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Vigilantejustice)

Post #: 18

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 5:19:55 PM

tormentedtears

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline

Okay... call me ignorant... but what of all the online Doms with gang bang fantasies? What of their subs/slaves? I've thought recently about that... although i'd enjoy the fantasy, what happens in reality?

TT

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 19

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 5:25:24 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tormentedtears

Okay... call me ignorant... but what of all the online Doms with gang bang fantasies? What of their subs/slaves? I've thought recently about that... although i'd enjoy the fantasy, what happens in reality?

TT

There is an account of one such activity on my website. It's presented in narrative form and has been "cleaned up" a bit for presentation, but it's as accurate as I could make it after talking with many of the participants

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to tormentedtears)

Post #: 20

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