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You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 4:03:09 AM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

I don't understand how people can say they are looking, but yet they don't take time to fill out their profile.
Your physical description .. for a lot of people there needs to be a physical spark to set it off. While some don't like it, its a fact of life. You are not going to fool people.
I am not a thin person. I'm a big guy. I'm pretty honest about it.
I'm for all intents, bald. If a woman wants hair on a guy, I'm not for her.
What about your interests? Why not fill them in? If something is important for you, include it. Would you want to attract someone who doesn't share that interest?
Why don't you fill out your profile? Everyone complains there are not enough categories. We don't need them, There is plenty of places where you can spell out exactly what you feel and what you want. Take advantage of them. There are a lot of people who do read the profiles.
Use the journal to record your feelings and experiences. Those who email just because your a male or female .. they are idiots anyway and there is nothing we can do about them. We are searching for one little nugget in a stream of pebbles .. the finer we build our filters the better chance we have of pulling in that one nugget.

So why don't people fill out more information on their profiles?

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

Post #: 1

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 4:09:47 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I don't understand it either. I also don't understand those who fill out their profile, but everything they write is kink related....and nothing that tells who they are as a person. When I was looking, profiles like that didn't get a second thought on my part. I figured that if they couldn't take the time to try to convey a little about themselves they weren't very serious about finding a partner. I mean come on....you wouldn't go into a restaurant and order if the only description on the menu was "food".

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 2

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 4:20:03 AM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

Could be that they really are the ones doing the looking, and when they have found someone they are interested in they make first contact and tell all.

Some people do as much as possible to discourage others from contacting them, and judging by some of the idiots who have made contact with me, even though i am already collared and happy, even having a filled out profile does not mean that it will be read or understood!!!

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 3

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 4:28:05 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

Most of the time the ones with the empty profile are the ones who send Me the damn one word emails---oy I don't chat with anyone who doesn't have one completed---I know though for Me, it took many attempts to get a good description of what I wanted---I write for a living and yet when I did Mine, it was blah blah blah ( I even had one Dom write and nastily suggested I go away until I could define Myself)--it takes all kinds---just like at a party---some are loud and obnoxious, some are quiet and some just aren't memorable.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 4

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 4:57:56 AM

edgepassion

Posts: 67
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

I’ve had them contact me wanting to know what’s wrong with me. Saying that we’re so close, why haven’t I contacted them? I look at their profile and damn near empty, no forum posts, no journal…..reckon those with pics think that should do it……sheesh....

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 5

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 5:08:01 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

most messages i receive in my bulk mail are from those who have an empty profile. some are scammers from Ghana (like the 18yr old "prince" who wanted to love me forever) or dominants with one-word "hi" or "hey" messages - those irk me the most.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 6

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 5:24:12 AM

DomMeinCT

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I'm surprised by the number of profiles that say "I don't know what to write here. Contact me and I'll tell you more."

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 7

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 5:25:20 AM

MadameMarque

Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline

I think those who are looking, but whose profiles are blank, are mostly of two camps:

- those whose second language is English, and are just doing their best to navigate the site,
and
- those who view the looking as a one-way process, in which they are the shoppers, and everyone else is the product for which they're shopping. They expect everyone else to put their best foot forward and present themselves for consideration, and then those with the blank profiles come walking down the aisles window shopping. Though they may not think of their own approach this way, I really dislike the attitude it conveys.

< Message edited by MadameMarque -- 5/27/2008 5:28:01 AM >

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 8

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 5:55:43 AM

mztresn0w

Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

Something I would like to add and I see this alot. If they start a journal the last entry is from 2006. Wow, nothing has happened in their life since then. I spend alot of time reading profiles and journals and I just have to shake my head when I see that the last entry was from 06 or 07. I am just looking for friends so it doesn't matter to me if they are submissive/slave or dominant. They both claim they are looking and yet can't take the time to update anything. I just wonder how serious they are.

_____________________________

Becareful what you ask for you may get it and then realize it wasn't what you wanted.
Wicked Evil Grin

(in reply to MadameMarque)

Post #: 9

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 6:14:47 AM

MadameMarque

Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline

Regarding journal entries on CM, I do not feel it is significant whether or not a person writes a journal there, or updates it frequently.

To me, it's not an indication that "nothing's happened in their life," if someone's journal is not up-to-date, but simply that their collarme profile is not the place they chronicle that.

I'm a little leary of people who write too much there, actually. I'm trying to make my own profile a little less wordy.

[Mme. Marque, who hasn't typed anything right the first time, this morning ~ :P]

< Message edited by MadameMarque -- 5/27/2008 6:16:33 AM >

(in reply to mztresn0w)

Post #: 10

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 6:19:47 AM

Alixandria

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline

Even if I were looking, there's no way I would be keeping my journal online. I'm old-fashioned. My journal is a bound book that I write in with a fountain pen. A journal is a way to commune with oneself, not random strangers.

If I were looking I'd be avoiding those who maintain their journals online for everyone to see. It's an indication that if I do get involved with that person I will be finding the ups and downs of my private relationship described there (as I see in so many cases in those online journals).

Alix

(in reply to MadameMarque)

Post #: 11

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 6:26:25 AM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

One line I hear rather frequently from those with no narrative is that they stripped it out because they were being taken advantage of by proDommes.

And I think, "Yeah, well I'm not going to take advantage of you either." If a person has nothing to say for themself in a narrative, my interest falls off.

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to Alixandria)

Post #: 12

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 6:27:00 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alixandria
My journal is a bound book that I write in with a fountain pen.

Now that's just hot.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Alixandria)

Post #: 13

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 7:25:38 AM

LadyRainfire

Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

I don't have a lot on my profile but it is filled out and I do have a picture of me there. I'm also not looking. I came to CM on the recommendation of a friend for the forums and had to fill out a profile to join. So I kept it short, sweet and speficied that I wasn't looking. And look where that got me.... *grins* But I did take the time to fill it out because I knew that if people wanted to get to know me, it was a quick way for them to get a "feel" for me, and then they could either chat with me on the boards or cmail me if interested.

And MMC? I have a funny story for you about your profile..... You looked at my profile shortly after I joined CM and when I saw your picture on the "Who's viewing me", I about panicked and freaked, nearly deleting my account. Why? You look exactly like my doctor and I was trying to figure out how my doctor had found me on CM. After panicking for a bit, logic set in and said "hey dummy - if he's here, what does that make HIM?????" So I calmed down enough to look at your profile and realized you weren't my doctor and you were in Michigan, not Idaho. I smile and chuckle now every time I see you post or if your profile comes up!

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 14

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 8:57:47 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I actually posted a journal entry asking why folks have NOTHING in their profile, not even a preference, and heaven forfend, a picture! One man actually wrote back with an explanation that he didn't know what to write and would just answer questions. He actually DID write some decent words in there when I explained to him what we women go through as regards mail, etc. My telepsychic superpowers do NOT extend to gleaning your profile details from nonexistent pixels.

(I confess that just as sad to me are the ones who have been on here for YEARS with no change in profile....)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LadyRainfire)

Post #: 15

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 10:30:34 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

Many know they don't look the best..possibly overweight or other fault.... and the reality is most people will make a judgement first based on first appearance. ...eg put 2 presents infront of a child one large and attractively wrapped with colourful paper and big bows and the other smaller wrapped in plain kraft paper and no adornments. The child will go for the most attractive packings with higher expectations of what is in the inside....that is human nature......... the person that puts little to nothing in the profile ...wants you to see what is in the inside the packaging before you make your judgements knowing they would be passed over first for another profile with all the glitter. My first Dom was a far cry from my physical preferences being short and heavy set...had that be the first thing I would have seen I can admit I would have passed him over..heck I am human, instead revealed to me was a person full of humour and devilish wit, good cheer, a zest for life, intelligent sincerity and kindness and that became the main attraction and the physical simply did not seem all that important. compared to want he did have to offer....

I also find myself going in the opposite direction as well... if I am contacted by someone I view as ultra hot and sexy ...I will shy away asking myself what does he see in me ...thinking I won;t measure up to his expectations so reject him before he has a chance to reject me.... I know it is absolutely silly to do but for some reason I can't help myself

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 16

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 11:05:58 AM

LadyRainfire

Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

Ok, I feel better... Thanks, Maya!!! I thought I was the only who did that. And you're right - it's important to see beyond the physical. I had only a rough idea of what Lumus looked like when we first started talking. I discovered someone incredibly smart, intelligent, funny and sexy. And then I saw his pictures and met him...... Good thing we did it that way or I would have rejected him. *winks*

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 17

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 12:46:33 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

I'm surprised how a lot of people that aren't actively looking find a reason to moan about the profiles of people that are.

If you aren’t looking why do you need to look at profiles and give an opinion as to why they aren’t finding anyone? I know it is one of peoples favourite topics but when will people that are supposedly happy with their lot in life learn that no one who is looking really cares about their self righteous, 'isn't my life perfect because I know how to write a profile' opinion.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to LadyRainfire)

Post #: 18

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 2:04:51 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRainfire

And MMC? I have a funny story for you about your profile..... You looked at my profile shortly after I joined CM and when I saw your picture on the "Who's viewing me", I about panicked and freaked, nearly deleting my account. Why? You look exactly like my doctor and I was trying to figure out how my doctor had found me on CM. After panicking for a bit, logic set in and said "hey dummy - if he's here, what does that make HIM?????" So I calmed down enough to look at your profile and realized you weren't my doctor and you were in Michigan, not Idaho. I smile and chuckle now every time I see you post or if your profile comes up!

LadyRainfire

Tell your doctor I'm sorry he is such an ugly fellow. Ididn't think the ugly stick could hit two people the same. :)

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LadyRainfire)

Post #: 19

RE: You are looking .. but profile is empty? - 5/27/2008 2:14:29 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

My feeling is, whether we are looking or not, it's suppose to be about a community. So if people don't want to use the tools that CM has given us to get to know one another that limits us as a community. I perv (or look) at a lot of profiles when I read what people post in the message boards. This helps me to get a context on who they are and the context of what they write. Is it a complete picture? No, but its the best we have in this situation. As far as looking goes, first, I would like to get to know people. To do that, I need to know more about them. I can't get to know everybody on here, so I filter it by people who give me enough information about themselves so that I may want to know more. It doesn't mean I'm going to jump in and play with everyone, but it's a good way to determine if you can be friends.
An on-line community uses words and such to show who you are. If we truly want to get to know people, I believe we should use the tools.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 20

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