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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/28/2005 12:52:03 PM

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I myself have a problem with this, not just when I am being submissive but as a Domme. It isn’t a matter of being stubborn, but usually a deeper underlying problem. One of my problems was I was told my teeth were in the way. That made me very insecure.

Also, I had a lover that smoked and that bothered me. Taste was a problem not with just the smoker, but with one that didn’t. I had an ex help me with this. He changed his eating and drinking habits for a week. He cut out the sodas, the junk food, and ate fruits, veggies, and drank lots of water. I could swallow then. The taste was different. Help her and praise her. Being punished for something is going to make her more and more uncomfortable with doing the act you desire.

Also, from a totally female side, I found it easier and more rewarding if a guy is doing me as I do him at the same time. It takes the mind of what you are doing and the more pleasure you get the more you give.

Good luck you have someone willing and truly wanting to please, don’t let this one thing hamper you or her.

< Message edited by harleygirl72 -- 10/28/2005 12:53:04 PM >

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/28/2005 12:58:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: harleygirl72
Also, from a totally female side, I found it easier and more rewarding if a guy is doing me as I do him at the same time. It takes the mind of what you are doing and the more pleasure you get the more you give.

A good suggestion, even if I personally can't stand 69 or simultaneous oral, but again, what we're working on here is obedience, not LIKING, not ENJOYING.

One can of course hope that, in time, she WILL learn to enjoy it...but until then, unless the dom cares about her enjoyment, she just needs to DO it, without passive aggressively trying to get out of it.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/28/2005 1:10:19 PM

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quote:

what we're working on here is obedience, not LIKING, not ENJOYING.

Great point!!! Hummm, I have very little experience in being obedient. I tend to take back control at that point

!! But, if he can get her to enjoy it, it will be easier for her to obey.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/25/2007 10:02:18 PM

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I'd work on the reasons they're a turn off and make doing them a positive experince, and see where that goes instead of punishment for hesitation, which for me would never work.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJoeseph

Hi all..I'm new to posting but have been lurking for a while now. I found a wonderful slave about 5-6 months ago and I adore her dearly. she is so eager to please and serve me...except in one little area. Blowjobs. she hates them. I want her to be to the point where I don't have to demand she does this act. I want her to want to do it willingly...to look forward to it. When she hesitates I punish her,
-Master Joseph

(in reply to MasterJoeseph)

RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 2:17:30 AM

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While it would be nice for your submissive to love oral (something i'm sure you both discussed before entering into the relationship) and to initiate it or look forward to it, that might never happen. No one is ever going to get me to like eating brussels sprouts, regardless of how much reward there is. i will never crave them. i could get to the point of eating them without vomiting but that's not going to change my opinion of those nasty cabbages.

It is not necessary for me to love everything my Master may want me to do. But it's not about me doing what i want, it's about me wanting to make sure He is happy, comfortable, cared for, pampered, pleased and honored. His pride in me is my reward.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 2:39:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJoeseph

Hi all..I'm new to posting but have been lurking for a while now. I found a wonderful slave about 5-6 months ago and I adore her dearly. she is so eager to please and serve me...except in one little area. Blowjobs. she hates them. I want her to be to the point where I don't have to demand she does this act. I want her to want to do it willingly...to look forward to it. When she hesitates I punish her, but it seems to be the only time that punishment doesn't works... I'll try the blowjob again and she hesitates, gives me the sad pouty face/puppy dog eyes, and I hate it. she just really does not like giving blowjobs. she says that she gets tired easily (her mouth muscles/jaw/neck and her throat begins to hurt when she gags a few times), and she HATES having my cum in her mouth/swallowing and gets really anxious/nervous when she knows it's coming. she hates this all so much that even though I punish her and she genuinely feels bad about disappointing me, she still hesitates and resisits blowjobs. she is really headstrong on this and even she wants to break the fear/stubbornness/unwillingness, but she doesn't know how, and apparently neither do I... any advice would be greatly appreciated.

-Master Joseph

I'm going to try a whole different spin on this, and it is all my opinion only. She wants to please you but is hesitant (not disobedient) for the reasons she mentioned above. I can understand totally. Questions: how big are you? how small is her mouth? what positions have you tried? how long do you make her suck you? till you cum? how long does that take?

My answers: I have a very small mouth (pediatrics utensils at the dentist) and I find anyone larger than average to slightly below average is too big to do an effective job. Being on hands and knees while he's laying down is very very hard on the neck and jaws for any more than a few minutes. It's like a gym workout for those specific muscle groups, you need to take it slow and work up. If you stood up with her on her knees before you? Or kneel over her face (69) but let her hands guide your weight so you're not forcing into her mouth? Maybe have her concentrate on licking and nibbling, pumping the shaft while mouthing the head? Or push her away after just a very short time NICELY and maybe with the phrase "Oh, I so want to be inside you" (then fuck her royally) and then slowly increase that time judging by her reactions when to cut it short. Gagging does hurt the throat so that tells me either you may be pushing too hard or she's trying too hard. A very nice blowjob does not have to include throating.

Punishing obviously doesn't work coz now she's turned off totally. Maybe if you sit down and explain that you want her to learn how to suck cock effectively because you like it and want it but that you will let her go at her own pace. Encourage her, teach her with words as she's doing it, what you like or don't but maybe lay back and let her play at her own speed with no pressure to perform. Yes, she is a slave and is supposed to be obedient and without hesitation but....where's the pleasure in it for either one of you?

As with all the above posts, cleanliness, trimmed or shaved, lots of water or pineapple juice to make you taste good...all good points. You can have your slave PM me if you wish, maybe I can help. I used to hate it myself, for most of the same reasons along with a few others and now I love it.

In the meantime, hugs to ya both, good luck.
sage

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It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 4:48:36 AM

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Ok For what its worth: First of all based on what the Op said, many have suggested having her do exercises to increase her facial muscles so she can give you a proper blow job. We don't know if your a milimeter pecker beater or king kong in the cock area, so size may be an issue for her. We also don't know if your a minute man, some guys can take a b.j. for quite a long time before cumming or if your a massive unloader as far as the amount you shoot or what ever..that does have an empact . As others said get a dildo about the same size and have her practice every day with the thing until shes in shape to do so. As far as the cum stuff goes..I dont blame her, I detested the slimmy icky feeling as well as the taste. Master had me over come the taste issue by sucking on green olives and slowly chewing them .. the slime factor was taken care of by Master having me make jello and just before it set totally ( while its like a slimmy texture) I would slurp the stuff and let it linger in my mouth. Over time it all worked out fine.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 5:40:25 AM

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If with exercises she continues to have problems or if she already has problems say at a dentist keeping her mouth open for a prolonged period, it could be she has a physical medical condition called TMJ which can be quite painful and can be correctable over time with custom made dental appliances to help realign the jaw joint, another way around is not to have her suck for prolonged periods, have her alternate between sucking and using her tongue she can swirl it around the head of the penis, stroke down the underside flicking the tongue up and down, swirl around the balls, or suck on them, nibble the underside of the penis gently when her jaw muscles have a relaxed a bit resume sucking for awhile till the jaw muscles tire again and repeat the licking nibbling, this will help give the jaw a break, without having to endure pain will make for a more pleasant experience for her and still can be very pleasurable for you.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 6:07:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justatoy2

...Drink lots of water and pineapple juice is supposed to sweeten you up. ...

Drinking alcohol (among other things) can also make cum taste quite bitter. Educate yourself as well about oral sex, Joeseph.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 6:10:55 AM

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Has anyone else noticed the OP hasn't replied to any questions asked of him or commented otherwise?

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 6:13:43 AM

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Very interesting thread indeed. I am extremely oral but am considering balking a little bit and having Aba read some of these posts (LA, I will blame my desire to disobey on you - hot hot!) All in good fun this yaldah's disobedience, eh!

A clarification with regard to fruit juices. It does not necessarily sweeten. Juice, and fruit in general, is acidic and can make cum bitter. Water, and lots of it, is key to mild flavor.

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 6:22:30 AM

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Maybe someone should tell her "Suck me! Blow is just a figure of speech!"

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 7:44:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

Has anyone else noticed the OP hasn't replied to any questions asked of him or commented otherwise?

Could be because this thread was started two years ago.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 7:47:24 AM

RRafe

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I'll tell you this much-your conditioning methods are abysmal.

To seduce-always works better-than to steam roll. Try using some imagination and POSITIVE reenforcement-next time. You've probably already done too much damage with this one.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 8:27:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

Has anyone else noticed the OP hasn't replied to any questions asked of him or commented otherwise?

The reason there is no response?
Look at the date of the original OP! Dead thread lol.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 10:31:04 AM

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Not having read the whole thread, has she seen a dentist? Because complaints of her jaw hurting sounds like undiagnosed tmj to me. If so, then deal with the medical issue instead of beating her for being in bad pain.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 11:35:19 AM

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well, ok, I missed that, but still interesting he didn't say anything after the initial OP (maybe why it died?) ... So , I guess I'm curious why it was resurrected then.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 11:40:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

well, ok, I missed that, but still interesting he didn't say anything after the initial OP (maybe why it died?) ... So , I guess I'm curious why it was resurrected then.

I've never understood that either. It's weird reading a thread with a huge (years+) gap being picked up like the posters are current

. Sometimes I don't notice its been dead until stuff doesn't make sense.

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 3:41:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

Has anyone else noticed the OP hasn't replied to any questions asked of him or commented otherwise?

has anyone else noticed this thread is 2 years old?

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RE: Breaking stubbornness! - 10/26/2007 5:02:45 PM

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i was her exactly. i HATED blow jobs. Refused to do them and would gladly take the punishment rather than doing it. Unfortunately the blowjob still took place. That was with my first Master.
My second informed me had an oral fettish. I wanted to cry. I knew i couldn't perform the task because i loathed the thought of giving one.
He started very firm with me. Hands in my hair and would guide himself to my mouth and instruct me how to do it. The first few times, I gagged. He praised me for that. If i tried to push against his thighs to back off of him, he would lightly pop me on the face with his hand and tell me I was not instructed to move. I was given a warning that if i did it again, my arms would be cuffed behind me. i really tried to not push away, but did instictively as i gagged again. He cuffed me and then pushed himself further and further into my mouth. This routine went on night after night after night. The cuffs hurt my wrists and I didn't want that again so i had to fight for control not to push away. The more he praised me for obeying, the more i wanted his praise. That was 3 years ago. Now i find myself begging to have him in my throat. I adore pleasing him and want this more than he does. I still gag, but now i find the beauty in him suffocating me that way. i love his hands in my hair and the way my learning now affects him. Now i can make him moan, shake and scream out and i freaking love it when his eyes get huge in surprise and he gets a massive smile and emphatically says.."ohhh good girl!!!!!" when i take him down my throat on my own and hold him there for a long time til i gag for air. The positive reinforcement made me crave it and now i loooooooooooooooooooooooove doing it!!!!!! It's my new favorite hobby haha...and im pretty darn good at it too *pats self on the back for being quick lil learner

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

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