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RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 11:59:31 AM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberDom08

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberDom08
My question is who are you trying to convince???


I'm neither a sub nor a newbie, but I'll answer the question.  Who are we trying to convince?  Everyone.  It's public communication, it's directed at a wide audience.

A person's profile can mention his/her partner and their happiness together for any number of reasons.  This is a partial list, and people can post "glorifying" journal entries for any combination of these reasons and others:

1)  Most people are not able to discuss their BDSM relationships and the joy they have in their partners with their vanilla families and friends.  Sometimes CM and other on-line communities are the only outlet they have for expressing their excitement, happiness, and pleasure in finding someone who actually understands their emotional and sexual needs.  In this respect, they babble about their loved ones here for the same reason that people who have fallen in love babble about their new love anywhere--because they're finally happy and they want the whole world to know it!

2)  CM is a community site to some degree, but it's also a site for people seeking sexual partners.  Mentioning your partner in a positive light and making it clear that you are committed and happy in your relationship helps to keep unwanted suitors at bay.  Since I collared my own boy and put a clear mention of it in my profile, I get a lot less mail from submissives seeiking partners; the only people who approach me inappropriately these days are people who have not read my profile.

3)  Showing commitment in public is reassuring to your partner and helps to ease any fears, suspicions, and doubts that could ultimately erode or destroy the relationship.  Being openly committed and "taken" helps to reaffirm the trust in a monogamous relationship; at the very least, mentioning that you're happy and not-looking on CM makes you less likely to be able to use CM as a place to cheat.

4) Writing posts, journal entries or blogs about your D/S partner and your relationship is an art form.  It's one part love letter, one part sexual seduction, one part meditation, one part D/S exercise.  A lot of dominants order their submissives to keep a "Submissive Journal" outright, so that they can read it and gain greater insight and control.


Thank you, Although I agree that you are correct, there are some aspects that I do not agree with. I would never question someone's right to maintain and keep a public journal but would question the motivation. I would say that the insecure have responded negatively to my query but the secure one's reply positively. Anyone agree?? (Why start now??)


and i think you would be wrong about the insecurity issue. i personally don't care what people think about my journal whether it be here, livejournal, or anywhere else. what i take issue with, and what i think other people take issue with, is people implying that there is something wrong with what i do or do not post in my journal. that being said i don't write a lot of drippy posts. i'm not a drippy happy person. but your mileage will vary.




_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 12:08:17 PM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberDom08
I would never question someone's right to maintain and keep a public journal but would question the motivation. I would say that the insecure have responded negatively to my query but the secure one's reply positively. Anyone agree?? (Why start now??)


And this from a "person" quite obviously so far up his own arse that he needs to be shipped daylight..

"Anyone agree??" - Seeking validation are we? Isn't that a sign of insecurity? - Pot - Kettle - Black..


_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 12:15:14 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

I would say that the insecure have responded negatively to my query but the secure one's reply positively. Anyone agree?? (Why start now??)


I would say the insecure have issues seeing other dominants portrayed positively.


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 12:19:49 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		fr

It really sucks to read something-and realize you cannot possibly measure up-doesn't it?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 12:39:04 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Perchance the insecurity the OP seems to want to project onto other maybe stem from his own insecuritys about being 'cyber' and not able to measure upto those doing this for REAL? Just a thought

When My girl has had a particularly good time, she is often rather up about it and, given We are both part of a real life comunity which has a common meeting place here on the net (Not CM), she enjoys sharing those by way of journal.... and the harm is? What 'motivation' is needed other than a happy girl? Some law I've never heard of that says only emo's can blog? I know that when I read blogs from friends of Mine where they have had a particularly good time it always gives Me a lift of spirits to read it and am glad they shared.

The only insecurity I see around here is from the OP... and he wants only people with less than 500 posts to respond... LOL sunshine, the only thing you control here is yourself... unless you set up your own site then you are in no position to dictate to anyone wether they respond or not... get over yourself.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 12:42:41 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberDom08

I have browsed through many profiles of subs and I see a re occuring theme. Why do subs feel the need to tell the entire collar community about the great things that go on between themselves and their Doms??


Have you ever tried to supress your pain? Eventually you cry. Try to keep saddness at bay and see how well you do. Joy is the same way. It will find its way to the surface and bubble out in some manner. For many of us, that manner takes the form of writing and because it, at times, is so overwhelming, you just want the whole word to know of it. Note, please, that I said 'want', not need. You won't see me write many things of a negative nature in regards to the relationship I share with Himself - first, because there are not that many negatives and second, throwing dirty laundry on the front lawn isn't my style. There are more than enough threads and such on the forums which turn into train wrecks to satisfy those with a blood lust. I don't need to add to the fray in my public journal.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 12:45:50 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

I would never question someone's right to maintain and keep a public journal but would question the motivation. I would say that the insecure have responded negatively to my query but the secure one's reply positively. Anyone agree?? (Why start now


So now i not only have to worry about what i post to my journal....but i also have to think about my motivation to post it before i should do so.  Hmmmmm..... Now..am i posting this to just see my pixels on the internet, or am i posting because i have nothing else to do today, or am i posting because i have something important to say, or am i posting because i need to get to my next forum ranking, or am i posting because my Dom is the best in the world, or am i posting because my turtle died?????

I would have to disagree.  Many who posted negatively are very secure in their relationships.  What they question is why you are so insecure as to being offended by reading journals that praise a partner. Why is it so difficult for you to click off a journal that offends your sensitivities and move on to the next?   Those you probably think agreed with you merely did not question your own motivation to bitch about others' personal journals. 

Perhaps you wish to scrutinize others' motivations while your own motivation does not come under questioning. 

(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 12:53:16 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I know, we are over 500 posts, but it is an interesting subject.
I don't keep a blog here, I do not seperate my life persay, but I can see why people might wish to exclaim their desires for their dominants in a blog because they may have no other outlet to express their emotions.
 
The cynic in me also is wary of perfection in blogs - I know many people use blogs as a tool - insisting their s-types keep one as a kind of journal.  Like I say, I am a little cynical at some of these - if you cannot talk face to face...
 
I will totally admit I can be enamoured and a little infatuated with Darcy. So although I do not keep a blog here, obviously my posts resonate a certain amount of bliss and to be quite honest - if I didn't - sometimes it is almost as though I may burst.  Happiness can do that - just like dissappointment or pain or anger - there can be a need to express it.  But there are 'downdays' too and we certainly are not without difficulties - I don't necessarily have a need to post questions when I have a problem however, because I have the ability and feel comfortable talking to Darcy and things get sorted between us.  Much of it is common sense really.  Maybe thats is a reason for others also?
 
I don't know if it is always about convincing anyone for everyone, sometimes it is just a way to release emotion and sometimes it is carthartic.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 6/6/2008 1:31:11 PM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:27:44 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		There are Doms on this site, there are femslaves
There are submissives, and switches and then
There are those who claim to be Gorean
But I've never been one of them
I'm a sub called a Stella
And have been ever since I was born
And the reason why I come to this website
Is to have a laugh with subs and Doms
You don't have to write a good journal
You don't have to post less than five hundred
You don't have to search here much
To find entertainment on these threads
Because

Every post is sacred
Every post is great
But post over five hundred
A Dom gets quite irate
Every post is sacred
Every post is great
But post over five hundred
A Dom gets quite irate

Let the regulars start threads
And post in their thousands
A Dom shall make them pay
For not following his command

Every post is wanted
Every post is good
But go above five hundred
A Dom must prove his manhood

He wants no glorification of Doms
In journals found anywhere
But those who post above five hundred
This Dom claims he doesn't care

Every post is sacred
Every post is great
But post above five hundred
And this Dom gets quite irate

Every post is sacred
Every post is good
He wants to know of journals
It would please his manhood

Every post is useful
Every post is fine
He insults everybody's
Mine, and mine, and mine

Let everyone make more postings
Over five hundred without a doubt
Maybe with more postings
This Dom will finally chill out

Every post is sacred
Every post is good
He needs jorunal entries
To please his manhood

Every post is sacred
Every post is great
But post above five hundred
This Dom gets quite irate

inspired by Monty Python..




_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:30:04 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hahahahahahahaha!

Ah, Stella

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:32:20 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline 		omg....i really needed that right now...rofl

_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:42:11 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Quick Hijack: (sorry)

FRS: don't you think that punishing your sub/slave for having feelings and expressing those feelings is kind of counter-intuitive?
Or punishing her so much that she would have cried so much she can't even go in to work?

This never would have been an issue here, because HM would have talked over going with me (which I would have happily encouraged, btw), but, he probably wouldn't have brought home pictures because he would know that would possibly upset me. (ok, probably upset me)

It just seems to me that this is a break-down in communication, and fixing it by basically guaranteeing less truthful communication in the future won't work out well for ya. (and jealousy is an emotion...it affects some more than others. Perhaps you could be a bit more empathetic.)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:46:32 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

So what happens when YOU get to 500 posts? Something like this? 



Duh. (dum dum da daaaa!!!) CYBERDOM09!!!

Coming Soon to a Post Near You!!!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:47:24 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Stella, is your poem to be sung along the melody of 'Every Sperm Is Sacred' (Monty Python)?

Admiringly.

_____________________________



(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:51:55 PM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberDom08

I have browsed through many profiles of subs and I see a re occuring theme. Why do subs feel the need to tell the entire collar community about the great things that go on between themselves and their Doms?? It is like the family newsletter where the part about Uncle Joe getting a DWI and Aunt Sarah banging the pizza delivery boy are conveniently left out. I have seen too many times, people expressing how perfect their relationship is, how deeply they love, how they found the perfect soul mate and three months later, they are saying the same thing about someone else.

My question is who are you trying to convince???

Please if you have over 500 post's do not reply, I would like some fresh insight.



Maybe they're trying to convince themselves or their doms, by speaking in front of a community that they don't know personally.  I'm not saying this is true all the time.... maybe I'm wrong... but I've noticed that those that are more concerned with showing off like wedding or posts tend to concentrate less effort in the relationship, and maybe that's why the relationship might suffer more?  Or maybe it actually is true, and they are just overbubbling with joy and want to share the good news to people who've shared other ideas etc online?  You know, girl thing?  Or, their dom made them do it...? 

I'd rather read about happy stuff, than doms murdering subs.  But yeah, if it's not true that can be annoying, and then it's like weird, and then you ignore them... lol. 

< Message edited by chickpea -- 6/6/2008 1:54:55 PM >

(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 1:54:13 PM   
CyberDom08


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		You make assumtions
from a simple question  asked
as to why a person publishes
Are all the replies masked

Collarme is full of
people of every type
Some very low key
while other love the hype

People post a thousand times
and oft have little to say
criticizing others ideas
Is how they pass the day

Some are honest
Others incitefull
Some are gruff and angy
Others often delightfull

When this one asked
to give some others a chance
to post on his simple question
the paddles did their dance

Kittn and Cali
and don't forget Stella
The guy who insulted my mother
Such an childish fella

My question posed
Abuse returned
Unless your kissing up to the subs
your ass is getting burned

Everyone is a psycholgist
Everyone a shrink
All have opinions and breath
Both of which stink

So members all, we are share
A not so common group
Like so many letters
floating in your soup

No anger have I, what is the use
this is a cyber format
Say something contraversial
and be treated like a doormat

Read and learn
Learn and read
I am hearing few answers
but many excuses indeed

In this 15 minutes that
I spend writing this poem
Is time better spent
It's friday, let's go home



(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 2:00:01 PM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CyberDom08

You make assumtions
from a simple question  asked
as to why a person publishes

blah blah blah blah blah blah

In this 15 minutes that
I spend writing this poem
Is time better spent
It's friday, let's go home



UMMM so what's you're point?  please answer in english, not poetry... 

(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 2:05:27 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		That's really good for fifteen minutes.  Totally not kidding.

If you can figure out how not to sound like a 14-year-old when you ask questions, you will be able to attract quality people -- both male and female, both friends and sexual partners.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CyberDom08)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 2:05:51 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Nah, the poetry was not as bad as some I've read.
(I've read some REALLY bad poetry)
He just needs to work on rythym and sound...

The part that bothered me is that he said he got 'excuses' and not answers.
I respectfully disagree.

The other part that bothered me is that my name wasn't in it...*cries*

ETA: nm about adding my name to it. After I posted this I started thinking about words that rhyme with blushes.
nm...

< Message edited by xxblushesxx -- 6/6/2008 2:06:49 PM >

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Glorifying Doms in Journals - 6/6/2008 2:09:54 PM   
SinfulSaint


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/22/2007
Status: offline 		I don't post here...but I have had to write elsewhere in my times in the lifestyle  I am single now, but in the past was told to write about a particular scene for humiliation reasons.  Knowing someone else was going to read it.  I am sure there are many many reasons tho.  Like they have all " vanilla " friends/family...and just have to talk to someone about what they are doing..and they feel safe doing so here....who knows...but whatever floats someone's boat...so be it.....as long as it doesnt hurt others ( like kids, animals, balh blah blah)

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 100
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