RE: Married? Married!

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Married? Married!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Married? Married!

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Married? Married! - 7/26/2004 4:40:23 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

As I mentioned, in my encounters with married men, they did not want to leave their wives. They wanted to experiment. Most of the people I know who experimented outside their marriage or committed relationships remained happily married or committed after the fact.

I agree 100% and the same holds for women who want to experiment. My marriage is stronger than ever after that experience, and we are both happier than before the affair because we finally communicated with each other about our desires.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Married? Married! - 7/26/2004 9:41:36 PM

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

Just watch those boundaries.

*GASP* "Boundaries"????? Are WE supposed to have those????????

HA! Ya know, in my 20s I thought the ultimate love was a love with no boundaries. I got over that.

Yeah, I've found that setting, policing and maintaining my boundaries is an integral part of my sanity...and I MUCH prefer me sane to insane. I bet you would too! <smile>

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: Married? Married! - 7/29/2004 10:01:51 AM

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Lady Angelika--
I was using "Female Supremacy" as a jumping-off point
(I could have also said "feminist" "profemale"--or quoted from The Ethical Slut as well) for trying to reason this thing out. I don't consider myself a Female Supremist either--maybe 'pro-me'
(as opposed to 'anti-me'! or 'hate-me'!)

I have no desire for a deep relationship with anyone right now--I'm just out of a divorce, and I don't want to be tied down exclusively for quite a while--why it may be easier for me to keep things in perspective with a sub who happens to be married.

I guess I will see where this goes--thank you all for your input!

--Lady Whipenrod

_____________________________

"I can resist everything except temptation."
--Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Married? Married! - 7/30/2004 10:50:04 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

Ah... *cracks knuckles*

Allow me to toss in a couple other thoughts that have crossed my mind about this.

Drama, married people have this tendency to bring drama with them into your life. Stories of how the spouse doesn't meet their needs, etc. Do you want to listen to this? Because he will tell you about it... and not just once. Do you like puppies? Because that's what they usually become. Puppies who end up falling in love with you (why? Because you meet their needs) and then you have drama with a capital "D". The "I'll leave my wife" or the "I can't leave my wife but I can't be yours either" ... no matter how you slice it, icky icky drama.

As you are fresh from divorce and are just looking for someone to play with (that might include the sexual aspects, should the mood strike you), I wouldn't consider married men as a safe option. Basically because they would be cheating on their spouses and without her explicit consent (and I'd ask for that in person with her) I wouldn't go there. Too much drama potential.

It's a good bet, that if you are a personal level with a married sub, someone's feelings will become involved, leaving room for someone to be hurt later on. Do you want that to be you? His wife? Or him? All the way around, as I said before I keep the marrieds on a pro level (no emotional attachment other than friendship) so I don't have to worry about the drama that always seems to happen with them.

For your own emotional health and recovery in the wake of a divorce, if I were you I'd stick with a single man. Preferably one you are pretty sure you only want play with, and are unlikely to become emotionally involved with. D/s play, the intimacy required for it and communication levels it creates in the process is an emotional powder keg waiting for a fuse. People can get far too emotionally attached to someone (including a married boy) and have a really hard time letting go when it's time to move on. BTDT. It's incredibly hard to separate the emotions from the play over an extended period of time and for some it only takes once.

It's a hard call, and you'd think there's a simple solution, but there isn't. Unless there's a wife who is ready to come forward and say, "have fun (insert activity here) my husband". I wouldn't go there. Good luck whatever you do Ms. Whipenrod.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Married? Married! - 7/31/2004 5:23:10 PM

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Dear Lady Angelika

I reread my post and it comes off sounding shallow. It's not quite what I meant. I want to make deep--hopefully lasting--relationships with the people I session with--hope that will lead to really awesome experiences for all subs I play with and myself. I'm not a 'dabbler'--when I session, I create an experience worth remembering. I was trying to say I wasn't looking for a husband--or even looking to steal someone else's!

Yes--I just recently tried to make telephone connections with the married individual and was message-ranted at for calling the number he had given me at the wrong time--basically I hadn't 'snuck' as effectively as he had wished.

That's IT--I called the whole thing off at that point--and will do so for the rest.
I don't need it--as you said--too much 'drama' and their vanilla relationship was their choice.

Again--thank you (all of you!) for your support

--Lady Whipenrod

< Message edited by Whipenrod -- 7/31/2004 5:28:43 PM >

_____________________________

"I can resist everything except temptation."
--Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Married? Married! - 7/31/2004 5:57:55 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I have no desire for a deep relationship with anyone right now--I'm just out of a divorce, and I don't want to be tied down exclusively for quite a while--why it may be easier for me to keep things in perspective with a sub who happens to be married.

I am a single guy in his early 42s with a job, that while it is not necessarily stable, pays rather well and allows fairly flexible hours.

I considered "playing the field" when my last relationship broke up, but sitting down and considering the possibilities I realized that I am far happier in a stable, long term relationship than chasing any tail I happen to encounter.

While I understand other people feel differently, I feel that dating somebody who is married would be somebody that I could not settle down with, have windy walks with, and pick out curtains. Which is what I seek...

JM, CBW, BTYG,

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/1/2004 10:45:38 AM

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

JM, CBW, BTYG,

Sinergy

HAAAAHAHAHAHA

Love it. Absolutely love it. ;)

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/7/2004 6:30:08 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

HAAAAHAHAHAHA

Love it. Absolutely love it. ;)

Why thank you, MizSuz.

With only one hand to type with *glares at his stupid cast* it becomes important to utilize shorthand.

I will once more wax eloquently with my caveats in a week or two.

JM, CBW, BTYG

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/9/2004 11:45:52 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

undefined

i am married,i do love my wife,my kids,and grandkids.i love my life.and the wife does not know and would not approve.i have been crossdressing for 30 years and have loved bondage forever.i have the need to dress up and serve as a real slave to the right MISTRESS.for the right one even though only part time,it could be long term.i just have not found her living in the middle of ilinois
thank you

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/9/2004 1:11:34 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

*glares at his stupid cast*

awwwwww do you have one of those long wooden hand (it looks like a little hand) scratch things? Oh that was a lifesaver when I was in a cast!!!

< Message edited by LadyBeckett -- 8/9/2004 1:12:27 PM >

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/9/2004 3:51:45 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

awwwwww do you have one of those long wooden hand (it looks like a little hand) scratch things? Oh that was a lifesaver when I was in a cast!!!

Two words: corn starch...

No itch :)

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/9/2004 4:02:18 PM

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/29/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

With only one hand to type with *glares at his stupid cast* it becomes important to utilize shorthand.

What did you do?!?

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/9/2004 5:30:43 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline

I have never posted to this message board but just had to tell my story. I was born a submissive and have been exploring this lifestyle for 30yrs now. Back in th 1970s/80s it was very difficult to meet someone in this lifestyle. I finally settled and married a "vanilla" woman. I had to live my life a lie because I could never tell her about this side of me. Over the years I would go to ProDommes for a "fix" but there was always something missing. Although I am a masochist there was still a piece missing and that was the real control of my body and mind, that I could never experience with a ProDomme. So I finally got divorced and now I am searching for a long term relationship with someone in this lifestyle. My first instinct was to start dating "vanilla" women again, but I realized that if I got in another relationship or even marriage that I would have to live my life a lie again and never be fulfilled. So I realize how important it is for me to find the right person. I will always be a submissive and could never change................... although I think during the marriage I wish that I could just turn it off. Someone wrote that it would be bad for a submissive to be involved with another submissive..........is this true?? I have met many Dommes that were submissive before they found their Domme side. Regardless I would think that another submissive would understand what a submissive needs and how they feel.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/9/2004 5:40:56 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

What did you do?!?

*hefts his manly longshore honed thews, expresses his morpheme, and sniffs his armpit*

I was at work on the docks after a long, hard day of sitting in a truck staring vacantly into space, and at the end of the shift I was walking into the office and somebody in a hurry to go home slammed the door into my thumb, tearing a ligament.

Two words: Workmen's Compensation.

JM, CBW, BTYG.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to CapturedLuv)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/20/2004 11:45:29 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/20/2004
Status: offline

I am a male who is married in the Dallas Ft worth area who is aware that my being able to be in the Mistresses control may never happen just because i am married. But the wife is aware of what i seek and believes it to be good, because once broken to submit to women only once, will open the door for her to always have a submmissive husband that she can control as well. I believe women are powerful creatures who not only don't need us men for pleasure but need us for their service when and only when they want it. Otherwise they are self reliant. We are just human doormats who needs to be walked on everyday. As for myself, of which i can only speak i hope to someday be in the control of a Mistress who knows how to make me what i need to be. For some time now i have wondered how long it will be before i am chosen by one. So far its been a long hard wait but i try to stay confident there is one out there that will locate me and never be sorry she did. I would only hope that this is the case. Mistresses in the Dallas Ft Wortth area of Texas check my profile and see if i could be of service...if you believe that i could be of service to you then by all means write to me. I will never make you wait if i know i have been written to and i will answer pronto. Your wish is what i need to honor and i will be sure the wife talks to you as well to keep you informed of my choices while not in your care. A call away 24 hours a day for your service...thats what i am searching for. I only wish that she be within a distance where i can be there in a ordinary amount of time. I am sincere and i hope it is found that i exist by one wonderful Mistress trainer. Please allow me to be your servant and your doormat and to allow me to make you smile when you call me to come to you. when i am contacted please ask for my picture i will happily respond and send it to you. Thankyou for your time to read my post.....sined Ronniferd ( a fitting name for a male such as me)

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/21/2004 11:24:33 AM

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/20/2004
Status: offline

hmm must not be being viewed alot here.....hehehe

(in reply to ronniferd)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/21/2004 5:13:34 PM

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I am married to my submissive and we play often with others. Hard Rules are clear, and those Rules allow me to take a houseboy from time to time to Train. A little diversion adds spice to a long term loving relationship.

Since my sub is het I don't mix play with them, but they are still apart of the family and they only last if they get along with us all. Outside play should always enhance a partnership.

If he's married .. with his partner not involved .. I'm happy to meet and greet with him at a local function. I can't imagain taking a married boy to Serve - it breaks the foundations of Trust .. if he's lying to his Wife .. why would he be Honest with me?

Now, if I was a ProDom - I'd be happy to take a married client - I'd think of it as a Service to his Wife, since I'm sending him back to her .. all worn out and happy.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/21/2004 5:17:01 PM

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Two words: Workmen's Compensation.

Oh Man! Bet you said more than just *2* went it happened!

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/21/2004 8:17:29 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

hmm must not be being viewed alot here.....hehehe

This isn't the place for personal ads, that may be why no responses. Good luck in your search. Hopefully your wife will become interested in domming you.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ronniferd)

RE: Married? Married! - 8/22/2004 12:38:39 AM

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/20/2004
Status: offline

Proudsub....yeah i agree with you i am not a seasoned mmember here but i am seasoned in my looking...i am not the brightest oof subjects obviously. Sorry i wasn't aware i did say something here, i wasn't supposed to. Ronniferd sub boy

(in reply to proudsub)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Married? Married!

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.238