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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:31:00 AM

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght
Personally I find it appauling that any Top would use their submissive to procur others. They should do it themselves.

Do you feel that way only about procuring, or about any service a sub could provide for their dom? If the former, why do you see it as different?

Just procuring a future playmate what have you.
Service is part of most any bdsm relationship in some form or another.
While I may not think it's right to send another to obtain another that's not to say it's not right either that's just how I feel. Which is the question at hand how do we feel about this method of service. }:>)

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:33:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
How does procurement sit with you?

If a man cannot attract a suitable quantity of women to gratify his desires, he has some work to do.

If you find such service fulfilling, far be it from me to proclaim otherwise. That said, I can't see myself holding in high regard a man who needs proxies troling for pussy for him.

_____________________________

(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:35:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

What specifically is it that you find "sad" and "amusing" ?

That someone is so lacking in personality, confidence or wherewithall that he has to set another to seek out those who by all rights should be seeking him.

You asked.

No need to be defensive, I asked out of curiousity.

Your assumption that a Dominant who asks the submissive to procure is unable to do it for himself ... is almost certainly in error. Are you unable to complete the tasks you give to your slaves?

I am speaking as a slave in a service based relationship - my service ranges from Ironing, to editing his writing, to searching for a new house of him, and re-organising linen closets. As he has told me to do these things, does that make him unable to do them for himself? ... Or is it that He does not want to do them for himself and he enjoys having someone who will do it for him?

I wont touch the "should be seeking him" statement ... because that facile debate is a whole different thread.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:35:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght
Ironing is not the same as obtaining another slave, submissive what have you.

I agree, of course. What I'm trying to understand is exactly what the specific difference is that causes you to feel that one must be done by the dom, while the other could be done by the sub.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght
But I've always been of the mind set if you want something done right do it yourself.

A fair point. So you would encourage doms to do their own ironing then (or risk having it done incorrectly)?

(in reply to Midnght)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:39:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I could though have a big say in who shares His bed if I am the one putting them there. I have no control on IF there is another girl in Sir's bed ... but I can have control over WHO the other girl is in Sir's bed. I can make sure they are all suitable, well behaved, pleasing to Him, and tolerable to me.

I'm really surprised at your reasoning, since it puts you in control, and you always come across as being the one not wanting to be in control.

Curiosity causes me to ask... are your procuring for the one on the other side of the planet (and how does that work in making sure they are "pleasing" if you cannot even meet them?), or are you procuring for someone local to you?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:40:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: Midnght

Personally I find it appauling that any Top would use their submissive to procur others.
They should do it themselves.

do you give the same response when directed to do the ironing?

Ironing is not the same as obtaining another slave, submissive what have you. But you make a good point even though it's comparing apples and oranges in my opinion.
But I've always been of the mind set if you want something done right do it yourself.

its service ... its doing something for him that pleases him ... ultimately after that its all a question of taste

--- personally I find it considerably less time consuming to find another willing girl to service Sirs bed .. than I do ironing His *entire* wardrobe with heavy starch

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Midnght)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:41:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
I can't see myself holding in high regard a man who needs proxies troling for pussy for him.

But why would you assume that the fact that someone sent a proxie out to procure for him meant that he needed a proxie? Do you make that assumption about everything else doms have their subs do? To use softness's example, do you think that someone who has a sub do the ironing must be incapable of ironing?

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:43:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
I can't see myself holding in high regard a man who needs proxies troling for pussy for him.

But why would you assume that the fact that someone sent a proxie out to procure for him meant that he needed a proxie? Do you make that assumption about everything else doms have their subs do? To use softness's example, do you think that someone who has a sub do the ironing must be incapable of ironing?

Simple. I don't like ironing my shirts or doing my laundry. When it comes to pussy, the hunt is part of the pleasure.

Unless one happens to be a lousy hunter, in which case outsourcing makes sense.

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(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:43:44 AM

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

I suppose it would be a highjack to ask those commenting on subs procuring for their doms to also give their opinion on doms procuring for their subs?

Well you're the Dom you're the care taker and thus it's your responsibility to make sure the people your sub will play with knows the rules and you've hopefully seen them work before to have an idea how far they will go. I also feel you should be present at all times as this is your submissive.

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:44:53 AM

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Procuring a person for a relationship of any kind (even if only physical) can hardly be compared to getting the ironing done.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:46:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
Simple. I don't like ironing my shirts or doing my laundry. When it comes to pussy, the hunt is part of the pleasure.
Unless one happens to be a lousy hunter, in which case outsourcing makes sense.

So your assumption is that everyone--or at least every decent hunter--feels the same way you do, about enjoying the hunt?

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:48:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
Simple. I don't like ironing my shirts or doing my laundry. When it comes to pussy, the hunt is part of the pleasure.
Unless one happens to be a lousy hunter, in which case outsourcing makes sense.

So your assumption is that everyone--or at least every decent hunter--feels the same way you do, about enjoying the hunt?

Without the hunt, how is pussy different from masturbation?

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(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:49:29 AM

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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I'm really surprised at your reasoning, since it puts you in control, and you always come across as being the one not wanting to be in control. (1)

Curiosity causes me to ask... are your procuring for the one on the other side of the planet (2) (and how does that work in making sure they are "pleasing" if you cannot even meet them? (3) , or are you procuring for someone local to you? (4)

Cali

1 - its a measure of control ... like the control I have on what is for dinner, after I have been given the order to organise the meal, or the control I have over choosing the restaurant after being told to make a reservation. I know Sir's expecations and requirements, His desires and preferences - I have control over finding someone who meets those.
2 - yes it is
3 - I can make sure of certain things, short of fucking them myself first, I can't make any guarantees. That said, someone who refuses to have anal sex, is hardly going to be pleasing ... whereas a girl who begs for sodomy and throat fucking 3 times a day will probably work out pretty well. When I join Him in the states, I will very much be there and will be very thorough in making sure they meet His requirements
4 - Its more like voluntary match-making when I do it for a friend ... but yes I do it for friends locally also.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:50:45 AM

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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
Simple. I don't like ironing my shirts or doing my laundry. When it comes to pussy, the hunt is part of the pleasure.
Unless one happens to be a lousy hunter, in which case outsourcing makes sense.

So your assumption is that everyone--or at least every decent hunter--feels the same way you do, about enjoying the hunt?

Without the hunt, how is pussy different from masturbation?

you must either have some really terrible pussy... or amazing masturbation

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:50:48 AM

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Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Procuring a person for a relationship of any kind (even if only physical) can hardly be compared to getting the ironing done.

Anything can be compared to anything. As I said, I agree that procuring and ironing differ in many ways. What I'm trying to understand is exactly which of these many differences is the one that causes some to feel that one must be done by the dom, while the other could be done by the sub.

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:54:23 AM

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So you think that doms procuring for their subs is ok (with a few caveats), though subs procuring for their doms is appalling?

< Message edited by TwoNYCDommes -- 6/17/2008 11:55:11 AM >

(in reply to Midnght)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:55:18 AM

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Joined: 8/7/2004
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Its not as if I've stopped hunting for myself. It's simply a service that I require be performed, much like licking my boots. By requiring that procuring be a service, it creates a certain set of feelings, concerns, thoughts, etc over there with her.

One thing I notice in several threads is the dissonance caused when the service to be performed falls outside of a fairly rigidly defined set of values. I find that very interesting, fascinating actually.

(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:56:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
you must either have some really terrible pussy... or amazing masturbation

Snarky. Care to answer the question?

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(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:56:59 AM

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I'm still trying to figure out how you procure another woman for a guy to fuck, unless she's a hooker. Especially when you're halfway around the world from him. I'm not being snarky, I'm really curious!

I mean really..... do you troll bars, the produce aisle at the local market, etc... and when you see one you think he might like - do you walk up and ask them if they'd be interested in fucking your master, dominant, boyfriend...... whatever?

Sorry, but I'm always curious about the logistics of some of the stuff that gets thrown around on here.

(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 11:57:34 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Procuring a person for a relationship of any kind (even if only physical) can hardly be compared to getting the ironing done.

Anything can be compared to anything. As I said, I agree that procuring and ironing differ in many ways. What I'm trying to understand is exactly which of these many differences is the one that causes some to feel that one must be done by the dom, while the other could be done by the sub.

For me - it has nothing to do with being done by dominant or s-type - it's about a person finding their own plaything. Procuring has no interest to me whatsoever and I would not be interested in someone who desired this from me. Not because I am monogamous and I submit to Darcy who is also monogamous, but because I wouldn't be with or submit totally to a man who could not make his own decisions. This is why ironing and procuring to me are very different - one is a chore and one is a choice.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

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