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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:01:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

This is why ironing and procuring to me are very different - one is a chore and one is a choice.

the.dark.

I was trying to put into words why I felt they were different, and I think you nailed it.

Cali

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(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:02:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
you must either have some really terrible pussy... or amazing masturbation

Snarky. Care to answer the question?

laughs ... thats not snarky ... thats me being funny

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:04:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

I'm still trying to figure out how you procure another woman for a guy to fuck, unless she's a hooker. Especially when you're halfway around the world from him. I'm not being snarky, I'm really curious!

I mean really..... do you troll bars, the produce aisle at the local market, etc... and when you see one you think he might like - do you walk up and ask them if they'd be interested in fucking your master, dominant, boyfriend...... whatever?

Sorry, but I'm always curious about the logistics of some of the stuff that gets thrown around on here.

you never set a friend up with another friend?
you never went out with your girlfriends and helped one of them get a guys number?

you relaly want to know .. email me on the other side .. and will give you some tips

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:07:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
you must either have some really terrible pussy... or amazing masturbation

Snarky. Care to answer the question?

laughs ... thats not snarky ... thats me being funny

Whatever. Are you going to answer the question?

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:07:56 PM

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Okay I think I would like to chime in on this one because I have seen the reasoning in having the girl find the other girl and I would suggest it to just about anyone.

Control in BDSM is an interesting thing because there is one thing that we cannot control no matter how much control the give us and that is the submissives thoughts.

6 years ago I was in a "Poly" relationship, I use the quotes because calling is Poly is an Insult to anyone who actually is in a Poly Relationship but it is also the only term I really wanted to give it at the time because it was more socially acceptable then what I really wanted and that was for more than one set of holes to service my cock.

Anywho, I ask my girl at the time how she felt about this idea and althought not chomping at the Bit about it she wasn't against it either, lets call her Jane.

Jane was a Solid girl the kind I like for most thing, She had meat on her bones a Heathy chest and could be taken to a Buffet and fell you got your moneys worth Jane was a Beautiful and Big woman and truth be told I cared for her very much.

The women I kept bringing home who were interested in trying someing more than a threesome less than a committed three party union of souls all happened to be Petite Thin girls. Now in reality I was getting to know and bridgeing the conversations to the sexual with ANYONE who met with the criteria I had which was Bisexual and submissive and willing to try something different.

I talked to Big girls little girls young girls old girls and girls of all race creed and religion however for some reason the 4 or so girls that cam home with me were all Thin Petite, Small Breasted, mid length haired Blondes or dirty blondes. I have no idea but at that time thems was the fish that was biting.

Jane, well Jane didn't handle it well at all. All she saw were girls that looked completely different than her and she sunk into the low self esteem body image mental war and figured I wasn't attracted to her because I kept bringing these skinny blondes with no tits home. As I said this just wasn't the case.

So when those 4 or 5 girls crashed and burned under Jane being for lack of a better word the queen high maya maya bitch to them I said "Fine, I don't really care if you want this like you say you do then YOU go find another girl, as long as I approve we can see where it goes."

At first it seemed she just wanted me to prove that I was attracted to her and she brough home women she wasn't even attracted to and after convincing her that it isn't about looks it's about both of our desire to be with another person she started really looking.

I find having your submissive "procure" another submissive when the two of you are looking is a good idea because men and women think differently and I find that Men are FAR more accepting the the Second woman then Women are so if the Woman in the equasion is attracted to the girl then the really hard part is already done.

Beyond that I also learned that some people are just NOT CUT OUT TO BE POLY or in Threesomes for that matter. The just take things far to personally they take the other person as a direct attack on thier own insecurities rather than the Sexual Partner that they are supposed to be.

I am a Sexual Person, as long as we have some form of Mental connection or Social Positive desire to be around one another Sex is just an activitiy that we can partake in, My wife andi is always afraid that when we get another girl I will fall more in love with them and not want her anymore and the sad thing is she just can't see that My mind isn't wired that way. I just know I could love someone maybe not the same way as just but just as well as I love her and I would like to have more to share my love with. I like having people very close and involved in my life and andi can't see beyond her own insecurities so things don't move very quickly and sometimes they don't move at all. But this isn't about having a second it's about having a relationship that works.

The OP it seems is talking about Sexual nature bonds not necessarily Permanent Bonds with other girls but I like her attitude because at least she can approve of who shares her Masters bed because like she said he is going to fuck what he wants to fuck at least this way she can enjoy it too.

Steel

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(in reply to Midnght)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:09:21 PM

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I think your meat analogy is the key here----I do not objectify my submissives or my sexual partners. They are not "meat" to me, because they are not INTERCHANGEABLE. They are unique snowflakes that I chose for their various qualities, not just because that one has a big dick or the other does a great job detailing my car.

That said, a person would have to know me really really well before he or she could procure someone for me. Shoot, I don't even like it when someone brings me a plate of food from a buffet, unless I have seen it all first!

Neat thread, Softness!! You are a very interesting woman.

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:14:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

I'm still trying to figure out how you procure another woman for a guy to fuck, unless she's a hooker. Especially when you're halfway around the world from him. I'm not being snarky, I'm really curious!

I mean really..... do you troll bars, the produce aisle at the local market, etc... and when you see one you think he might like - do you walk up and ask them if they'd be interested in fucking your master, dominant, boyfriend...... whatever?

Sorry, but I'm always curious about the logistics of some of the stuff that gets thrown around on here.

you never set a friend up with another friend?
you never went out with your girlfriends and helped one of them get a guys number?

you relaly want to know .. email me on the other side .. and will give you some tips

Truthfully, no I haven't ever done that. The most I've ever done was to tell someone I know that someone else I know was interested in them.

And thank you for the offer on the tips, but it's just not something I would do and in the case of our relationship, it's not something He would require of me.

But I do wish you luck in your procurement adventure. :)

(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:14:34 PM

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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
you must either have some really terrible pussy... or amazing masturbation

Snarky. Care to answer the question?

laughs ... thats not snarky ... thats me being funny

Whatever. Are you going to answer the question?

can you repeat the question?

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:17:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
Without the hunt, how is pussy different from masturbation?

I don't have sex with a man because I want a dick in my hole in order to cum. I enjoy the experience of being with another person, feeling their strength and power over me, the pain and/or pleasure. A dick is different than masturbation for me because the intention is so very different. If I was just focused on a certain physical sensation of pleasure that I want to feel than yes, I would leave the partner out of it.

charlotte

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(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:20:18 PM

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From: St George Utah
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BRNaughtyAngel,

Actually it is much easier than you think I used to get my friends laid all the time. To some people sex is an action and all it takes is putting the right people together and convincing then that it's going to be a positive experinence in one situation two that I hooked up in a Bar ended up Married and are today expecting thier third Child.

It isn't Hooking it's letting someone know No Strings Attached Sex is okay.

It's easy to do and something I would think is easier for a Girl to Acomplish for a Guy then it is for a Guy to Acomplish at all. Women tend to trust women and when one woman talks to another and tells her how great the sex will be and that there will be no strings attached and it will be a hot night of skin smacking sweaty sex other women tend to agree and follow another womans Cue.

It's interesting the belief systems that are being stated in this thread it makes me wonder if the majority of people on this site are Sexually Fridged.

Doesn't anyone have sex just to have sex?

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:22:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Procuring - finding suitable and willing sexual partners for a third party.

One of the services I give is procuring. I wasn't happy about the idea at first, when I was initially told I was expected to do this I became huffy, indignant and hurt. It took a lot of maturity, acceptance, and most importantly just deciding I was going to submit pleasingly to it and get on with life. I want Sir to be as happy as I can make Him, being a good girl for Him will do that and a good girl for Him - gets Him enough pussy to drown in.

If I am the one going out there and finding Him other girls, nothing is hidden from me, its open, healthy, respectful and therefore unlikely top explode into a world of hurt and damage. I have no say whatsoever in Sir's sex life - none - zip - nada. Its not up for negotiation and never has been. I could though have a big say in who shares His bed if I am the one putting them there. I have no control on IF there is another girl in Sir's bed ... but I can have control over WHO the other girl is in Sir's bed. I can make sure they are all suitable, well behaved, pleasing to Him, and tolerable to me.

A big issue for girls asked to procure is their own insecurity about their position. Sir has told me again and again that I am secure in my position as long as I am pleasing. I am learning also, that I cannot easily be replaced. So .. being that I cannot be easily replaced, and that He will not seek to replace me as long as I am pleasing - what possible risk can another girl be to me? .. *especially* if I am the one who put her in His bed.

How does procurement sit with you?

Sure, why not? It's just sex. I don't see the big deal nor why so many people have made the assumption that your dom couldn't get a girl for himself. I mean, he got you, didn't he? ::chuckles::

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:23:57 PM

CreativeDominant

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An interesting example of one of those dynamics wherein the slight twist is enough to bring out some interesting thinking.

Nice thread softness and D.V..
Given what I seek, I don't see it as something happening for me.
Objectively though...from the standpoint of a dynamic in which control and service, with hints of humiliation and objectification thrown in, of a more total nature are the objective rather than a lovey-dovey romance...I can see where it would work. I can see where, with a lot more difficulty in most instances I would think, it might even be possible in a relationship where romance is involved but so is open sexuality.

(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:26:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Sure, why not? It's just sex. I don't see the big deal nor why so many people have made the assumption that your dom couldn't get a girl for himself. I mean, he got you, didn't he? ::chuckles::

Well said! Exactly the point.

People make *waaaaay* too big a goddamned deal out of sex.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:31:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Sure, why not? It's just sex. I don't see the big deal nor why so many people have made the assumption that your dom couldn't get a girl for himself. I mean, he got you, didn't he? ::chuckles::

ya .. from 10,000 miles away, half His age ... who was a card carrying lesbian at the time ... sworn off all men and all real time play forever

no wonder He has to get me do it .. He has no skills at procuring for Himself *at all*

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:38:05 PM

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My Lord has also asked me to find suitable partners for us, male and female. It's not a major issue for us, though. If I find someone, great, if not, I am no less pleasing to him if we do not find a compatability. There is no pressure here.

I like what JohnWarren had to say. Women understand women better than men understand women. So far I am 100% accurate on the nature of the women we have met.

It seems a matter of concern that you are swallowing your natural instincts and emotions in order to "be pleasing." (Don't get me wrong. Your life, your business, but you did put it out there.) Anytime I have an emotional reaction to anything, we explore it. We always take the time to look at the roots of an issue. For My Lord, the sanctity of our relationship is way more important than any ideas he has about what "role" I should play. He puts ME first, all other considerations second, including other play partners. I am his first priority, and he is mine.

Even with everything out there, all up front and open, jealousy can happen, and judging from your initial reaction, is a very real possibility. Is he more concerned with having as much pussy as he can get, or is he more concerned with keeping you? If you are both overriding your instincts for the sake of giving him what he wants, then resentment is going to happen, and resentment is a relationship killer for sure. As much as anyone wants to be pleasing, and gets off on being someone's meat, if you are not being true to yourself, there will be a price to pay.

edited for clarity

< Message edited by StormsSlave -- 6/17/2008 12:39:49 PM >

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 12:54:39 PM

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My natural instincts ... are not always what I wish them to be .. I have to school them into more rational and reasoned thoughts

I reacted in a hostile way because I had very low self value, was insecure about my position in His affection, and wasn't clear about the role I had in Sir's household. In that position another woman at all would have caused untold damage to me and my service.

Now, I am secure in my role in His household, secure about my position in His affection, and confident that I cannot be easily replaced. Another girl now, would not cause damage ... I am the only one who can do that damage to me, I am the only one who can decide if I am worthless or devalued, or unwanted.

its also a question of taste ... I want to be in a relationship where my wishes and desires are crushed below those of my Owners that is my taste and obviously not shared by many - but I am also not stupid, I have made sure my Owner is responsible, and holds His property in trust as something of value

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veritas, respectus honorque in corio

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 1:02:22 PM

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I prefer to make my own choices.

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(in reply to softness)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 1:08:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Sure, why not? It's just sex. I don't see the big deal nor why so many people have made the assumption that your dom couldn't get a girl for himself. I mean, he got you, didn't he? ::chuckles::

Well said! Exactly the point.

People make *waaaaay* too big a goddamned deal out of sex.

If it really is JUST about sex then I can save you a lot of time and trouble. Find out where all the prostitutes hang out. Many of those girls will do whatever/be whoever you want for very little. It would certainly be far more cost effective to slap down a $20 than it would be for me to occupy my time and devote my energy for possibly weeks to find the right "match". I mean, if it's just about sex the only real requirement is an easy access snatch right?

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RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 1:12:42 PM

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Okay, where to begin? Let's start with seriously people is this really that big of an issue? He, isn't asking her to bring him skinned babies for the offering! Sheesh! He is simply giving her the opportunity to have a say in who is in His bed, and if you ask me she should feel flattered and all warm and fuzzy about it, I know I would! That is more than most subs/slaves are allowed.

I think the fact that they have the ability to be open about it and discuss positives and negatives about a potential other is truly amazing, and a sign of a very healthy D/s dynamic. I am sure that He is very capable of going out and finding meat of His own. However the fact that he values her opinion/taste in procurement, is a compliment beyond saying"good girl".

People all too often overlook the little things while waiting for the pat on the head saying" good job". In doing so they take for granted the little things, and miss the things that are the most important! Anyone can pat you on the head and say "well done". It's the little things that speak volumes, and letting her have a say in the meat that shares His bed, does just that. It speaks volumes for how He truly feels and believes in her, and her capabilities.

Also, if there is other meat in his bed and the possibility of there being another, shouldn't she like them, and be able to get along well with them, hell even like them? How does a household run if there is consistent conflict? That is just stress and drama that no Owner wants, or should have to deal with.

Last but not least.....Isn't this an alternative lifestyle? That being said I find it ironic that there are people out there so quick to judge, without knowing all the facts behind the relationship, or stopping to think of it from all aspects. Well that was just my long winded opinion on the matter.

I do apologize for the poor paragraphing on my first posting of this. I edited it, and I did try to to change the font and color back, but it wont let me. So again people, I am sorry.

< Message edited by meatling -- 6/17/2008 1:59:38 PM >

(in reply to Midnght)

RE: Procuring - 6/17/2008 1:16:50 PM

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Isn't "one twue wayism" supposed to be every OTHER Tuesday?

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