Seph
Posts: 15
Joined: 6/3/2008
Status: offline
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First and foremost my heart goes out to you both.
The life of a Nurse is brutal emotionally and physically. They are the second most injured class of workers in our society. As to fibromyalgia it may be actual or psychological. Her original injury was, no doubt, very real. Fibro usually follows a traumatic injury. It debilitates the mind as well as the body. I feel it overwhelms the mind in terrible ways.
It seems as if she saw the house and marriage as the culmination of the relationship. She threw down her cards and for 3 years that dream has not materialized and the relationship has eroded.
I myself married to "save" someone and thus do something good in a life that I felt I had wasted until then. I am facing my actions now by dissolving the marriage and will owe my wife half of the increased value of my family home plus half of the increased value in my retirement for the 7 year period of our marriage. It has not been a marriage because we were not both on the same page.
For the past year and a half I have finally actually been in love with someone, who now, facing the transition to reality of a possible relationship cannot make the leap.
I personally must be who I need to be, not who I pretended I was. The financial cost will be great, I may lose the home that has been in my family since the 40s. I will do right by my wife and assist her to have a free life in which she can find a man who loves her if she chooses.
As to the woman I love, I am likely to lose her as well, probably this week. All I will have is my soul and possibly a house. But I must be true finally to myself.
She is suffering as are you. Do you want to save the house, the relationship or both?
If you hope to save the relationship, you all need to be on board. You will both need help, together likely. Can you still talk honestly with one another? Would you marry her if she sought help and was able to see the future she longs for? If you cannot heal the partnership, dissolve to save your hearts. marrying alone is not an answer. You cannot marry in the true sense of the word unless it is a true "marriage" of your hearts.
The "con-job" theorists well, maybe they are right, but I find most of their theories arise from bitterness. Nor do I believe kicking people to the curb is a model for our lives. I know people hurt one another, but most of us, myself included, either do not understand why we do what we do nor scheme to do harm. We do what we do because it is what we know to do.
If after all of this time, you cannot be one, I fear you must be two, seperate. I fell in love unexpectedly before my marriage ended, though it was over in my heart. My new and real love has not ended well. It may be ending as we speak in terrible grief. I cannot ever try to balance two lives again. Can you?
Can you both do something different? Do you both want to?
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RE: Submissives who are not submissive - 
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