RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM

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RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:09:03 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirBitterSweet

Dear DefiantbadGirl

You probably would make a good therapist for me! LOL But I would not want to 'bandit' your time from your beloved! Congrats, you found the magic you deserve! Probably a good post if you ever want to give advice on how you two went about the courtship.

The questions remains.... am I wasting my own time by trying? I'm undecided here.

RFL, there ya go, going on that first impression again....I would think twice for deciding on that therapist, but thats just me (and numerous others,)...just saying, its good when they agree with you OP, I woulda thought that validation didnt swing your opinion that much, whoulda thunk it from a licensed individual?

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:10:32 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Greetings SirBitterSweet. I started several threads with the same purpose you had in mind when starting this one and received just as many if not more negative responses. Everyone automatically assumed I had some kind of social disorder for starting such a thread. That I was a pathetic nobody that would never find anyone. I even had one Dom say if I found someone he'd eat his whip. I'm moving in with my Sir and we plan to be married within 2-3 months. Don't you just love the conclusions some people jump to? lol

I don't think the starting of such a thread would be where that conclusion was drawn, but thats only conjecture on my part.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:19:20 AM

opposingtwilight

Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirBitterSweet

I noticed we have three types of people responding to these posts.

But what no one is looking at is that there are way more people coming to this thread, reading and then leaving without any comment. The majority are the silent ones! Does not anyone see the wisdom of these silent ones??

I do!

Perhaps you should become one with the silence ....

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:21:54 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. I like to get a few blanks filled in before I decide if a source is reliable or not or if any prescribed method is of value to me. I think it is a good recipe for weeding out the 'undesirables' if that is what you are wanting to do. I wonder, though. How successful it really was. By your own admission, you only met a small handful of people and achieved no real long-term benefit from the approach.

My own personal approach is vastly different. I take people at their word, accept them at face value - unless they prove otherwise to me. Only then do I dismiss them. I've had friendships with people online that have spanned more than a decade. There isn't a state in America, that I wouldn't have an open door, a hot meal and a warm hug waiting for me if I traveled to it. In fact, I could travel over seas and find a few open doors and warm hugs if I so chose. My point is this. I wonder at the opportunities you have missed out on, using your prescribed method. If you are dismissing so many, and NOT finding a successful, fulfilling relationship in the ones you do opt to move forward witih, then perhaps your approach would serve you better by re-examining it.

I tend to trust my instincts, and base my judgemnts off of what I observe. Online and off. For example. From your posts and responses, I would say that you are intelligent and highly adaptive. While you respond seemingly too defensively, too quickly in a harsh and negative manner, you seem to recognize when you have possibly erred and fall back upon charm and good looks to re-insert yourself into other's good graces. I imagine this works pretty good for you, until you react negatively too often and your charisma becomes tarnished.

Just my personal thoughts on your original post, and those that followed. I do thank you for sharing and wish you the best in your search.

Winsome

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:22:18 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NumberSix

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirBitterSweet

The majority are the silent ones! Does not anyone see the wisdom of these silent ones??

I do!

This is puzzling. Perhaps you care to expand the concept, are you a member of The Silent Majority? (I thought that was so over.)

I see it as the silence of the lambs.

Time will make fools of us all, some are more efficient at seeing the culmination of this work through, than the others.

6

In truth, Ron, I have decided to not have this time bandit OP waste any more of my time on this thread....I will become one of the wise ones he mentions, that unlike not only us but HIM, STFU and shake their heads and leave the thread.....which is what I'm going to do....I think that by his answering with a bait or something that by simple virtue of a question mark at the end of the comment begs a comment back, I think I'm just going to call

and start going the way of not answering his posts like most of us dont answer this one's either and don't answer the medical looney till she went away.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to NumberSix)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:24:32 AM

Posts: 81
Joined: 11/30/2007
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Angusitette

It's obvious I hit something correctly because of the intensity of your response. However, I have a suggestion that will really be an eye opener and the proof you seek.

Take EVERY post from this thread and print it out. Number the pages.

Pay $100 to see someone you are assured they have the degree you seek. I suggest you see a woman. Show them these posts and listen to them validate what you are blindly denying. Then if you like, you can tell him or her to go to hell with everyone else.

This post has already over a thousand hits (it's setting a small record for the mere fact the post is barely one day old) and the majority of people who are responding to this post --- are doing so with a predisposition for all the finger pointing accusations they are making. (It's called projection and denial. they go hand in hand)

(To all those who are not acting out in here inapropriately, my apologies)

So, I leave you with this wisdom, because I am tired of repeating myself, "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them shave." Now don't come back and tell me I said you look like a horse.

(in reply to anguisette22)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:33:30 AM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

I give the reader the assumption they already developed and established all the pre-factors of a good potential mate. I am assuming that one of the parties is being elusive.

elusiveness is rather subject. Some may wish to met within minutes of some simple contact on line and see someone as elusive if another doesn't share that interest. The other may be extremely cautious and find another pushy and overly aggressive that they wish to meet so quickly after simple contact. Then you have all the ranges in between. It really is a matter of prespective of what one considers elusive or even over-aggressive.

quote:

In my experiences on the internet, I get a lot of time wasters. People want my time. Even in public, when I went out last night, four people came right up to me and engaged me in conversation. Not complaining, Just pointing out the facts. And even more evidenced, just look at all the ridiculous posts (not judging the nice posts in this thread) where it is clear the people who are posting care less about the post but - a) seek to get the spotlight by behaving caustically b) competing with the posts to control the thread or show off to their comrades c) peopel who visit every thread to earn paddles (serious -- the more paddles I see, ( and not always) the more the member seems to want to paddle someone else!)

Yes there are time wasters... but I think one must take accountability for their own actions of wasting time. Yes these four seeked your time... but did you have to give it just because they want it. Yes there are ridiculous posts in this thread and others... but do you have to waste your time in response to them? We choose how to use our time and much of the time.. we are our own worse enemy at the time we choose to waste.

Do I waste time?! Yes... but maybe not as much as most. I tend to avoid reading many individuals on these boards or interact with alot of people in the scene. My time is valuable to me... if a Time bandit should steal some... well shame on me if I should give more than I am willing to waste.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 7/13/2008 11:34:23 AM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:37:14 AM

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

This fucking thread is like a trainwreck. I love it. Where's Katy????

_____________________________

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:37:25 AM

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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quote:

Time bandits are mostly harmless, but they steal a valuable commodity - YOUR TIME. This review will explain a little how they operate and how you can stop them in their tracks.

No one can steal your time if you do not allow it.

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:47:13 AM

restlessdreamer

Posts: 60
Joined: 3/19/2007
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I am compelled to offer my gratitude for the giggles over morning coffee today. Thanks everyone!

(in reply to peppermint)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:52:34 AM

Posts: 81
Joined: 11/30/2007
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Winsome

Intelligent response, but you failed at something miserably where I would expect more of you.

This is ONLINE. And we know nothing about anyone until we get to know someone. Ten years of writing someone and when you finally meet them, I bet you will be surprised to see what you never expected.

It does not matter that you spent ten years talking to someone online that you never met.. because you are BOTH fine with it, so I fail to see the relevance of even bringing it up. Again, you missed the whole point of my post.... and personalized it to yourself when it was never about you.

And I simply posted a solution to a difficult and highly charged issue. Mind you, it is only one solution and the brevity of my post leaves a lot to be desired. But where you have fallen from grace is that you are passing judgement on someone from a few email exchanges,when you originally claimed you wanted to know what I was experiencing.

There are books written on this topc. Internet relationships. Writeen by psyhiatrists, most of which are female. Every author I have read had a much harsher opinion of what I state and a similar solution. Some even demanded exchanging driver license information.

My prupose for this thread was not to seek your opinion on who I am. Nor do I care to make friends. My profiles says specifically where I am here. I don't think of people in an online community any more than the stranger for which I am holding the door as I enter a building before them.

Biologically speaking... we are designed to select friends and mates based on visual body language, sense of smell, audio cues, fitness to bear children, heath and other traits... that wait.. are ALL ABSENT in typical online communications.

My post was not about when to draw the line -- it was about when the line needs to be drawn, how to go about it and recognize when the other party is not sincere about it.

And finallym I listen to a jury of my own peers. As a therapist, we are always going to our own therapy. According to my peers, I really do have my act together and ....have helped hundreds... and received that acknowlegement.

My biggest dissapointment is how you assumed that I was here to accept and listen to your opinions and judgements, when you fooled me into believing you wanted to learn and explore something different.

Quite a deceptive fellow... glad you are not a therapist and glad I did not blindly trust you and invite you into my home.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 11:53:45 AM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

This fucking thread is like a trainwreck. I love it.

As one of the conductors, why wouldn't you love it?

Folks, please move the childish antics over to the Random Stupidity forum if you can't manage to address the topic here, because the trainwreck is over.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:01:18 PM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirBitterSweet

Have I seen Aileen?

No. Though I started to view her profile and then the phone rang and I closed it because it was taking forever for the page to load.

A woman truly earns my curisoity when she appeals to my mind first.

And now that we are totally off topic... grrrrrrr... I went to your profile, you seem like a sweetheart.. but according to many of the people posting in here, I have no clue to what I am talking about, so what do I know?

:)

Thank you sir, for the compliment!
(you really must look at Aileen's though.)
Oh, and I better post something on topic, right?

Ok, I think it *can* be, although not necessarily *is* a big red flag when after a month or two of internet correspondance someone does not want to speak on the phone. Especially people who claim to be girls...'cause yanno, there are a lot of guys out there pretending to be girls. (not guys who dress up like girls...guys who for some strange reason get off on another guy liking the girl they are pretending to be) That's just weird.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:04:46 PM

Posts: 81
Joined: 11/30/2007
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Knight of Mists

Delievered with excellence, as your posts always do.

And I seem to be repeating myself over and over here. This post is really for people who are having problems recognizing when they are being manipulated and helping them with an understanding that they are not imagining this, there are really people out there who say they want something, but will never deliver.

This means this post is so far below you, that I'm surprised you even stuck around this long.

Here's another example I find amusing.

A young lady (OpposingTwilight) with a very pretty photo on her profile came in here a while ago ranting how I was blocked from her profile and sounded off on me. I never asked the girl for her phone number, but I did provoke her a little when she got a little smartypants with me. I take responsibility for that. LOl

So, I posted my reply to her in the forum here, and did so with total honesty -- if she is so disgusted with me, why is she following me around?

And a few minutes ago, I got an invitation from her to be a friend and she placed me on her admired list.

Again, what game is this??????

I declined the invitation. If I had accepted, I'd have been wasting my time. LOL

So, what are your favorite kind of forum topics, Knight? This one must be making you shake your head.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:11:10 PM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirBitterSweet

A young lady (OpposingTwilight) with a very pretty photo on her profile came in here a while ago ranting how I was blocked from her profile and sounded off on me. I never asked the girl for her phone number, but I did provoke her a little when she got a little smartypants with me. I take responsibility for that. LOl

So, I posted my reply to her in the forum here, and did so with total honesty -- if she is so disgusted with me, why is she following me around?

And a few minutes ago, I got an invitation from her to be a friend and she placed me on her admired list.

Again, what game is this??????

I declined the invitation. If I had accepted, I'd have been wasting my time.

She was on the phone with me at the time, and is right now. She told me if she was a Time Bandit, she might as well steal your time. She also told me that you sent her a chat request just now, which she declined. Your thread is good for my social life, at least.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:14:13 PM

Posts: 81
Joined: 11/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: anguisette22

Your first post advised that someone is wasting your time if they don't want to give you their phone number "fairly quickly".

WHOAH, back up here! That is not what I said, That's your interpretation. Plenty of women I speak to and they ask me if I could call and I say no. Then they say okay, goodbye.

The key is not when two parties are in agreement. The key is when one party says, hey I'm crazy about you but you'll have to wait a few months befoe I give you my phone and verify my photos. Often, these people vanish from the net in less time than that. My post is about what happens after people make a claim to being sincerely interested and then won't do the NORMAL things that are required for a NORMAL correspondance to ensue.

Shame on you, Anguisette.

(in reply to anguisette22)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:14:50 PM

Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

You had better start monitoring your mail for a pumpkin colored missive.

That way, you won't have to ask, where did my out of TOS post disappear to? You will be informed.

6

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:19:40 PM

Posts: 81
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline

Just as I thought. YOU put her up to it.

I sent her a chat request to tell her that I was sure that some Dom was putting her up to this and that if she did not cease and desist, I was going to complain to TOS.

I chose to do this in chat because I did not want to open up any other channels.

Redmagic, from your posts I am NOT surprised by your antics and both of you SERIOUSLY, should let this go and move on. It's making you both look very silly now, isn't it --

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:20:07 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Ahh, but you see, I never said I'd had 10 years of online friendships and never met them. I'd left that out purposely, because I wondered how you would respond to it. Sadly, you jumped to the same conclusions you ascribe to me, which hardly surprised me. I could elaboate, but at this juncture, it would be pointless. I was interested in learning more and I did. I really do appreciate sharing in the expenditure of one of your more valuable assets.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 7/13/2008 12:24:31 PM >

(in reply to SirBitterSweet)

RE: How to Spot a Time Bandit on CM - 7/13/2008 12:23:33 PM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NumberSix

You had better start monitoring your mail for a pumpkin colored missive.

Several of the participants here should, because they appear to be having difficulty following simple instructions.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to NumberSix)

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