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RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 1:15:34 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cltcdrd
LOL, ok, now I am giggling...How could someone not see that?

Like FelinePersuasion said, they only see the pic and probably instantly start to fantasize what would I do to them with my glasses (preferably online) or whatever. Too busy to read profiles. I strike them with my ultradominant looks and they loose ability to read.
Actually thats exactly what one of them said to me after seeing me on cam - "You radiate dominance and are only woman I saw so far I could imagine really kicking my balls" which was obviously too much for him since he freaked out and disappeared.
One has to pity those poor things. Although I would love to kick his balls if I ever see him in real - just for the record

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to cltcdrd)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 1:17:45 PM

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

I guess last night I was frustrated cause a sub that I had just about everything in common with and seemed delighted to "find" me wasn't so delighted after I told him I was a BBW.

Be glad he ran away sooner than later, because he might simply be an asshole who plays online just to get any attention at all (or married, trying to cheat, etc).
Being a sub who prefers someone you are not does in no way equate to being a butthead who leads you to believe one thing when it's entirely false. He was a spineless liar, not an honorable sub/man.

P.S. I wish you luck with the next, and hope you will keep an open mind and a sense of humor.
Welcome to the boards. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 11/13/2005 1:19:05 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 2:04:43 PM

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Miriah
I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. Can't even send a messaging saying "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested."

Miriah, unfortunately, there are just many people that disappear without explanation. Many times it has little to do with you, and all to do with them. As others pointed out, I think you're better off, rather than investing time with them.

I had a gentleman contact me recently. His initial e-mail and subsequent introduction were very nice, and I saw some compatibility in many areas. While he was online daily, and sometimes more than once, after very near a week, with no response to my own intro, I sent a thank-you note, for him not wasting "our" time. I read "no response" as "no interest," (especially in view of his time online - good feature on CM), but I also would've appreciated the words that might say so too. I then wished him well in his search. He of course then found the time to immediately return an e-mail attacking me. So inadvertently, I found out his personality, or his disdain toward Dommes. I'm better off, and I'm sure he is too. Silence, in the way of non responses, really speaks volumes. Attacking someone even speaks more.

As for being a BBW, it "could" be a factor, but I'm guessing your last e-mail to this particular sub may have included more than just that one fact. Seems that many men don't like fat women. And many women don't like short men. And...and....and....we just all have preferences.

I recently lost over 50 pounds, and the same men that wouldn't give me a glance before, are now begging to be at my feet, and the only place my foot would consider going is right up their $%&.

I like being a bit smaller, and I know I'm healthier, but it hasn't changed my own attitude toward my preferences, and what I learned is if I didn't want to be turned down for my size, and if I didn't like it...and the thought of it hurt me, and caused me to make decisions based on other's opinions of me...then I needed to change.

The best part of it...I learned to change for ME...and not anyone else.

The choice is yours. Let them have their preferences, and enjoy your own. If you want to make changes...you will, but the best change would be to love yourself, for just who you are...big, or small. Be happy with yourself.
K

Edited for typo...dang!

< Message edited by FTopinMichigan -- 11/13/2005 2:07:47 PM >

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 2:51:35 PM

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/5/2005
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i have a domme friend who is a bbw (and an absolute dear as well) who has subbies falling all over themselves to serve her. i've never asked her what her secret is, but there are men out there who want that. maybe it just takes time.

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 3:38:55 PM

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/18/2005
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some people are too fixated on outward appearances and judge others according to their narrow minds. it's sad that people cannot see what's truly inside of someone. there's lots of good people out there.

"Don't judge a book by it's cover"

(in reply to petwolf22)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 4:16:09 PM

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Joined: 10/16/2005
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quote:

If you're up front, you'll attract the kind of people who WILL be attracted to you from the get-go, and save your time talking to assholes who are only looking for a hot chippy.

I don't know if it's right to call someone an asshole soley because they aren't attracted to you. Does a person have a choice in the matter?

(in reply to AbstractSavant)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 4:24:00 PM

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Miriah
I have decided to put my weight and the fact that I am a BBW on my profile so they know before they contact me.

I think this is a very good idea. It allows guys to self-select... you will hear from the ones who appreciate a woman with curves.

But I can understand the frustration of looking for a partner when you live in a rural area. Large parts of my state have no groups to attend. Online sites such as this help to break down some of the isolation... and maybe even help to find someone.

Best wishes.

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 4:36:28 PM

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Joined: 11/7/2004
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Gasssssppppp not like blondessss .....lol ....snifflessss

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nuke718

Why don't SOME men like BBW DOmmes would be more accurate. Same reason some don't like blondes, a matter of personal taste.

Nuke }:-

PS- big guys have the same issue from women...

(in reply to Nuke718)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 6:18:04 PM

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Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

I don't know if it's right to call someone an asshole soley because they aren't attracted to you. Does a person have a choice in the matter?

I don't think that's why we called him that... I called him that because she indicated they were in regular contact, and seemed to have LOTS in common, and than poof, he disappeared without a note saying "I'm no longer interested, buh bye."
You're right though, maybe he isn't an asshole and we are being harsh.

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 11/13/2005 6:19:12 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to HenryMiller)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 7:06:23 PM

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Joined: 10/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

I don't know if it's right to call someone an asshole soley because they aren't attracted to you. Does a person have a choice in the matter?
I don't think that's why we called him that... I called him that because she indicated they were in regular contact, and seemed to have LOTS in common, and than poof, he disappeared without a note saying "I'm no longer interested, buh bye."
You're right though, maybe he isn't an asshole and we are being harsh. M

Oh, I see, you were referring to email etiquette.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 7:33:41 PM

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i have a male subbie friend, he has talked to me about this. He was feeling guilty about saying he was not attracted to big women after he had been talking to a Domme for awhile then saw her pic and saw she was big and in so doing wanted to stop the communication. he really was doing some soul searching at the time, wondering if he was shallow or whatever but as he said, he was looking for a rl partnership and he didnt want to go ahead communicating with someone online who he knew he would not be attracted to in rl. So basically he wanted to put a stop to the future grief for both of them by stopping the communication as soon as he saw it couldnt go anywhere for him. i think in his case he was verbally abused for his shallowness...but i dont really see it that way..we are all attracted to different things and why walk down a path you know is gonna end up bad?

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 8:08:41 PM

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Joined: 6/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

i have a male subbie friend, he has talked to me about this. He was feeling guilty about saying he was not attracted to big women after he had been talking to a Domme for awhile then saw her pic and saw she was big and in so doing wanted to stop the communication. he really was doing some soul searching at the time, wondering if he was shallow or whatever but as he said, he was looking for a rl partnership and he didnt want to go ahead communicating with someone online who he knew he would not be attracted to in rl. So basically he wanted to put a stop to the future grief for both of them by stopping the communication as soon as he saw it couldnt go anywhere for him. i think in his case he was verbally abused for his shallowness...but i dont really see it that way..we are all attracted to different things and why walk down a path you know is gonna end up bad?

I don't think the fact that we all have preferences is the issue. If your friend had been talking with this Domme for awhile and had showed some interest, I'm surprised he didn't ask to see a pic from the start. It is difficult when you get to know someone and the other person has perhaps led you to believe that they have a genuine interest in pursuing something further, and then suddenly they cut you off when they find out that you don't fit their needs physically.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 8:17:52 PM

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Original: LadyJulieAnn

quote:

If your friend had been talking with this Domme for awhile and had showed some interest, I'm surprised he didn't ask to see a pic from the start.

I hear what You are saying Maam. i cant speak for him, but from what i know of him it might be a privacy issue (re job etc) where he doesnt share pics with people till he gets to know them and perhaps doesnt ask for them . However, *if* this is the case, there would be nothing wrong with him saying from the start *im not attracted to this and this and this etc.

thankyou for your response to my post.

(in reply to Kasia)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 8:43:47 PM

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Joined: 10/8/2005
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Miriah, I noticed you have preferences in your profile as well. You state you prefer men between a particular age and that are 200 lbs or more. I think the advice given about looking at this as a preference and not a rejection based on weight alone is a very good approach.

I notice you do not have a picture. Unless there is a particular reason, I would think including a picture that shows most or all of you would be even more important for that self-selection aspect. People often can not visualize what a particular weight looks like and even the term BBW covers a wide range. If you genuinely feel this has been an issue with submissives, perhaps that would be the most effective way to address it up front.

My weight is typically between 220-230 and several times I have basically been told Wow, you don't seem that fat! Of course, they say it in a nicer way.

I also agree with the advice about getting out and being seen. Attitude and presentation are often more important than physical appearance and that just does not come through online.

I try to never discuss my weight or physical appearance in an apologetic way. Somehow being overweight has come to be associated with being "bad" in some way....we feel compelled to indirectly explain how this occurred, point out what we are doing to correct the situation, or to use humor to address it. It is not neccessary.

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 9:36:26 PM

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Miriah
=========

now now now.......

You know very well a large majority of the male population is hung up on skinny minnies.
and there ARE many of us guys that CRAVE big girls. "I" am one. my 3 wives were not small gals nor was my 1st Ms nor is my 2nd Ms.

hang in there-------it WILL get better.

woofie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 9:44:39 PM

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

Oh, I see, you were referring to email etiquette.

Why do I get the feeling this is going to come back to bite me or other dominas?

Regardless, I think it's important to deal with people online or face to face in a civilized and courteous manner to the extent possible (especially if courtesy and civility have been extended to you). M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to HenryMiller)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 9:47:35 PM

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Miriah

I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. Can't even send a messaging saying "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested."

Almost makes a Domme say to hell with it all and just forget about it and go back to the vanilla lifestyle.

Miriah

Oh yes we do!!!

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/13/2005 10:22:04 PM

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Joined: 11/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus

well for my personal opinion, i have always been attracted to the "poofier" body type of woman. a good friend asked me once about my preferences, and i tried to explain. all i got was a puzzled look and a "grunt" of acknowledgement.
now if i were a sub, i would generally be attracted to the, as mentioned above, poofier body style. i would not stop at that point but i would look inside as well. if someone would want a fuller explanation of that drop me a note, and i will explain.

Dincubus

**Any chance you have a brother in Maryland :)

(in reply to dincubus)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/14/2005 2:54:10 AM

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you know, what gets me is that in todays society, it seems more exceptable for a male to be overweight then a female. why is that? shouldn't people be excepted for who they are inside and not judged by outward appearances? and the double-standards of this country alone is saddening.

(in reply to PriapicBratt)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 11/14/2005 3:51:46 AM

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Everytime this topic has come up, ive always openly said I wont submit to a bbw. I dont find anything sexually attractive about them. I am skinny and alot of people would not find me sexy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people dont like bbw, some do. Forget about it and move on.

Although I do agree it was wrong to stop answering without even admitting why.

< Message edited by imtempting -- 11/14/2005 3:52:35 AM >

(in reply to Miriah)

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