missturbation
Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006 From: another planet Status: offline
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quote:
I still think some people are just plain kinky – I know I am! .. I also know that nature made me kinky, but my damage made me a slave. I'd tend to agree with this except i would replace the word kinky with submissive. I truly don't believe i'm kinky, i really think i'm normal. I'm just me. quote:
So .. can you find your own “damage” (or if you prefer another word … your own “change”) that has helped to make you what you are today? I think i can pin point a few things. I was born to a single young mother who had had an affair with a married man. Back in 1973 this wasn't unheard of but it was frowned upon. My mother was made to give me up for adoption, i know these facts from my adoption papers. My parents (adoptive) told me about my adoption when i was four years old. I don't remember them doing this, to me it has felt like i have always known. Years later they would show me the papers and i would feel a brief moment of pity for my natural mother. Part of the damage here would have to be my fear of abandonment, i've never really learnt to deal with that. I'm getting better though, the safety of being 'owned'. The other side of it is that i wasn't wanted by my natural parents. Again being 'owned' makes me feel wanted, needed. My adoptive parents are fantastic and i had a really good childhood until i was around 13 and i started to go off the rails. I did some really bad stuff, some really thoughtless stuff and the result of that was me being in constant trouble with the folks. It made me feel i wasn't good enough, couldn't measure up to my older brother. My life as a slave makes me feel wanted, needed again. My life as a slave makes me feel i am pleasing and worth something to someone. Like Soft i will happily lie on the floor a bleeding, snivelling, snotty, come stained mess to hear the words 'good girl'. I preen when he calls me a 'freak' because that is what i am and he accepts and even loves that about me. Would i have been happy as a submissive without the damage? Yes possibly! But i know for a fact i am happier with the damage and what i have gained from it. I have a wonderful set of parents, wouldn't have had them without my natural mother giving me up. I have a great career, i may not have striven for that hard if i had not felt i had something to live up to in my parents eyes. I have some wonderful relationships, i may not have got to live to the highs and lows and experiences i have without my damage. Again like Soft, i am proud of my damage and the person it has made me.
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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb. If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it. Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!
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