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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/22/2008 10:05:18 PM

dreamerdreaming

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VERY Wrong.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/22/2008 10:40:57 PM

Maxwell67

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
If I go through the whole process of filling out a profile and make all the stuff up just so I can get off on looking at guys on cam in bondage, does that make me a cheat and a liar?

Cheat, no. That is a known part of the game. It is the risk you take for playing, so if you choose to BE the object lesson about which everyone warns, then you have to accept that you are, for those purposes, anyway, a liar.

However, even those telling the truth are not really much better off, except perhaps they are not denying one another the opportunity to take the relationship into R/T thereby possibly making it a 'real' relationship. Either that or destroying your online relationship if meeting makes things go sour, depending on how you look at it. The second is hardly a loss though, except for whatever 'work' you put into it. That is, roughly as valuable as the 'work' you invest to achieve that endless list of meaningless goals in any other interactive game we play. Whatever value you choose to place on it is arbitrary, but valid. It is YOUR time, after all. Just do not have any illusions about how you are spending it.

That person at the other keyboard is not the person you are developing a relationship with. You are just using their image, words, and such.. You may think this is more than simple porn, and you would be right... this is improvised interactive amateur porn, via one handed typist theater. Probably if it were not for the 'interactive' part, it would be even worse than the planned crap the net is overflowing with. You do not know that person. You are not really going to get to know that person... not well enough to have anything meaningful. You are having a relationship with your own fantasy. You have ascribed to them those traits which you are not getting from them that you need to make the fantasy work for you. In most cases more than half of what you think of as that person is a pure projection of your own mind.. Willing suspension of disbelief so you may invest your own imagination (making yourself vulnerable in the process) and 'play' with it interactively. It is the current pinnacle of narccisism in the digital age. The 21st century is going to see whacking off taken to whole new levels. There are people who consider themselves experts in the study of where society is going who are predicting the death of sexual relationships between people because we will develop interactive robots that even more perfectly embody those fantasies than your internet keyboard one-handed typing buddy. Might as well get in all the interpersonal you can get, chances are your buddy will lose all interest in you when it is possible also.

In addition to my R/T sub, I have two D/s relationships online. They are great for what they are.. games. I have told my online charges the same thing I wrote above. If they wish to play a role with me instead of being themselves that is fine. The emotional connection is not what I am playing for.. the intellectual connection is. For that, it does not matter what role they play so long as they play it well. I am getting what I want through these relationships.. Sure I act as if I care. That is part of the game. To some extent I even feel it, in the way an actor feels the emotions of any role played. It does not matter to me if I am advising to a purely imaginary scenario, after all. I know that although they are wearing 'my collar' it is only as good as the people in the relationship no more no less. They might get more benefit if they were honest in the details they gave me, but for myself, it makes no difference. If I could not get something meaningful for myself from illusions, I would never have gravitated to the theater.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/22/2008 10:51:02 PM

DarkSteven

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I know a sub woman who had two fake alt profiles. In one, she claimed to be a pleasure slave, and in the other she claimed to be a college student at the U of Wisconsin.

I stumbled onto the first and told her Dom that someone was using her pictures on alt, and he came clean and told me that she wanted to post a fake profile using her real pics and he allowed it.

My opinion of both of them dropped a lot.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/22/2008 10:54:30 PM

Emperor1956

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Of course, the OP could just sign on to a pay gay play site (wow...say that 10 times fast) and watch all the gay bondage porn she can handle...of course then (1) she'd have to pay for it and (2) she couldn't get all the attention she gets when she posts this inane question.

E.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/22/2008 11:30:29 PM

dominalisa

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A woman pretending to be a gay man online is wrong and so is a gay man pretending to be a dominant woman in order to contact straight male bottoms. You could end up wasting people's time and I know I would not want someone to do that to me.

Go with your gut. You said yourself it leaves "a bad taste in your mouth". You know you have more integrity than that.

Frankly why pretend to be a gay male in order to get gay male bottoms to do stuff online on cams to turn you on? There are plenty of straight male bottoms out there in the world willing to be on cam. Also don't you have a real life male sub/hubby to turn you on? Restrain him, blindfold him, give him a time limit and incentive to try to get out and then sit back and watch him struggle. Or put all your horniness into writing another erotic story....maybe it could be about a hot gay male bottom getting lost and coming across your path when you're in heat. ha.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/22/2008 11:34:34 PM

NumberSix

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Look, I can feel you guys are feeling a bunch of shit right now;

and I feel you my sisters,

so anyone who wants to give me a blowjob right now, say hi.

Mohammmed

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/22/2008 11:54:29 PM

rookey

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'll never do it. Maybe I should - screw it, right?

Thoughts?

Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. If you wouldn't mind someone leading you on, where's the problem?

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 12:00:15 AM

NumberSix

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I achieve that you may be dishonesty.

Or, at some point; someone will slap the shit outta you, and you will discern that there is as much nuance to the english language as you can handle.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 4:03:08 AM

Stusmobile

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'll never do it. Maybe I should - screw it, right?

Sure go for it.

The words "no harm no foul" is the classic way to settle things in your head that you know are morally questionable but generally accepted by society as a whole. It's just like insurance fraud, things that fall off the back of trucks .... there's no real victim, just a faceless non-entity on the other side.

One of the big mantras that gets used time and time again on this site is "go with your gut instincts" .... yours are apparently telling you something, maybe it'd be worth following them?

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 5:32:23 AM

RavenMuse

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"No harm no foul" is nothing but an illusion spun by the dishonest to justify what they know to be wrong.

There IS harm, even if the other doesn't come to harm you have harmed yourself with dishonesty, let yourself down. Proved to yourself that you are not someone that deserves others being honest with you because you yourself aren't honest.

No matter what others think, no matter how dishonest others maybe toward Me, at the end of the day I can look in the mirror without wincing because I don't let Myself down, don't stoop to the low level of others, stick by what I believe in. Loosing that would be harm and I wouldn't have anyone else to blame. So even a situation like that, there IS harm, to your self worth.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 5:41:47 AM

windchymes

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Hi!

There is just no night of television bad enough to make me want to turn to posing as a man on a gay bondage site.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 5:45:21 AM

RCdc

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I am completely with Celeste here - if this was a new poster then the .upinarms. brigade would be creating hell and hijacking this to high heaven.
And if you was a man considering doing this to straight females, you would be coming into even more shit.

I find this thread to be a very highlighting one for the posters that aren't responding, just as much as those that are and stating they find this acceptable.

And just to make myself clear if I haven't already, I find the thought very distasteful, non consensual(if there is such a thing as consent) and anyone doing such having a complete lack of integrity. It's a lie. Of course there is harm. Your not looking at the bigger picture if you think otherwise. But if you enjoy fucking up your life and the lives of others, go or it.

the.dark.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 5:46:17 AM

Stusmobile

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Maybe I should add a big sarcasm tag ?

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 6:02:01 AM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

I have the habit of wanting to dig to the bottom of things, and the truth. Think I'm a bit of a mental freak for wanting to get down to these layers with people at times. But it's just me.

I think it is very commendable of you. I would take a mental freak over one who could care less whether they are being lied to or not.

So, sure somebody can create fake profiles and get their Jollies for awhile. Her excuse and self justification for her actions was the fact that there are some many Fake Game player Doms and that she herself had been burned badly a number of times. OH Lord, just great. Take it out on one of us that likes to play things honestly.

We live and learn. My feelings about this is tthat you were smart enough to see through it, before you were emotionally invested in her lies.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 6:05:12 AM

MistressOfGa

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AAkasha,
Unless I have really misjudged (and I hate to judge!) you, I can't really see you liking yourself much if you did this. Thus the reason for the idea leaving a bad taste in your mouth. If it stinks, it is usually something on the bottom of your shoe. I'm just sayin..

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 6:07:29 AM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

The laugh would really be on you-if it's someone playing the same game. ;)

<Adores Leathrist> I love your quick mind freak answers lol

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 6:10:04 AM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

because there is Harm... it's Harm to your integrity... it's something you value... and when you knowning and willfully take action that misrepresents yourself... your integrity is damaged... and the person you see in the mirror knows it and she values it.... So.. yeah.. you can get off.. but there is a price.

Exactly. There is always an emotional price tag on things we are williing to do, that goes against the grain of who we are at the core.

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 6:12:33 AM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

And just to make myself clear if I haven't already, I find the thought very distasteful, non consensual(if there is such a thing as consent) and anyone doing such having a complete lack of integrity. It's a lie. Of course there is harm. Your not looking at the bigger picture if you think otherwise. But if you enjoy fucking up your life and the lives of others, go or it.

the.dark.

Not exactly as nice as I was trying to be, but effective nonetheless. Brava! You are my newest hero <g>

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 6:15:55 AM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

~FR~

I truly believe that if a similar OP had been written by a guy brand new to the forums, the wanker guns and troll nets would come out in droves and the burning in effigy wouldn't be far behind while the popcorn contingent watched on in glee. I'll stop there before I get my ass moderated and, frankly, this thread just isn't worth that price.

...and the hero's emerge all over the place. <Hugs Celeste>

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RE: How WRONG is it of me to dishonestly.... - 8/23/2008 6:29:05 AM

Alumbrado

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

...sign up on a gay BDSM message board/personals site with a fake male profile and pick up 'cute gay bondage bottoms', pretend to be a top, get them on cam, make them do stuff while I pleasure myself, but never agree to talk on the phone, reveal my gender or meet them in real life? Is it unethical if I tell them up front I never will meet them but am just looking for online jollies, but still never reveal my true gender? If I go through the whole process of filling out a profile and make all the stuff up just so I can get off on looking at guys on cam in bondage, does that make me a cheat and a liar?

No, I have not done it. But I have thought about it. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do it, but I can't help but think that it's done a lot in the het online community across all spectrums, and to some degree, it's "buyer beware"; if the guy on the cam is getting off on it just as much and didn't ask, who cares if he thinks I'm a hairy bear dude when I'm really a chick? I guess I care.

It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'll never do it. Maybe I should - screw it, right?

Thoughts?