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Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right if yo... - 8/31/2008 4:21:14 PM

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Do you ever make your submissives get their hair cut a certain way, styled a certain way? Add or remove facial hair? Wear certain clothing? Do you feel that if they are your property, you should have the option of changing things like hairstyle or facial hair?

Subs - do you find it hot/exciting that a woman would want to own you and change the way you look, or would you rather her like you simply the way you are? Have you ever been asked to change your appearance and told her no? Did it end the relationship? Is it a 'hard limit'?

Akasha

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 4:27:49 PM

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I gave Fox my preferences on such matters.

If he did not take my preferences into consideration and follow the vast majority of them, he could hardly be considered my slave in my definition of the role.

Beyond my preferences however I am not his mother nor his valet.. he's an adult, he can do his own hygiene and cloth himself.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 4:32:18 PM

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Hi Ma`am, i want someone who is going to make me slim, and who can magicially hide a bald spot.

I have had a Mistress who told me what colours and fabrics to wear. She picked out a shirt i wouldn`t have looked at in a million years. I must admit i was pleasantly suprised, at the number of times i got told it suited me. So for myself, yes i would allow a Mistress to get me to change my appearance. My reason being there is no way anyone would make me dress, so as to look stupid in their company ( except this one time, at band camp )

Although i think we often do this subconciously for vanilla partners anyway. They say they like a certain style or whatever,and we adapt. I think people tend to impress to some degree.

Edited for spelling, or rather, lack of it.

< Message edited by Politesub53 -- 8/31/2008 4:33:49 PM >

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 4:34:53 PM

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I do have expectations and preferences, and I make those clear. However, I am also a believer in that adage about making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Or is it the one about teaching pigs to sing? Anyway! I don't think you can change someone into another person just by changing their clothes.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 4:42:39 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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appearance...as far as makeup-clothing....yes...go ahead...

body...physical appearance... NO...i worked damn hard to get the body i have and it took many years to achieve...its off limits. unless you want to pay to get my A cup to match my B cup...

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 4:43:32 PM

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I have a general preference on how I want to look, basically it means that I keep my hair long as that is simply a great part of my identity; as that is something that I make clear up front, then don't expect me to change it when we're in a relationship. Outside of that, I accept that Ma'am can make Her preference known or even give orders or directives as to how She'd want me to look and I would follow those (such as keeping the goatee, simply because She likes it).

But i think it comes down to basic compatibility: I'd not be happy with someone who wanted to change my appearance drastically from what I'm comfortable with, and I don't see someone being happy with me if they didn't already like me basically as I was.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 4:45:37 PM

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It's not about the right, it's about the domina's wishes.
I would hope that a sub/slave would want to please me by wearing something nice for me. And sometimes I will chose what that will be.

As to physicall apperance That would be a disscusion between us. But I would have the final say.

Let me stress however I would never force a sub/slave to do something that he/she was not totally comftable in.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 4:56:22 PM

aidan

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In regards to hair styles, I don't really do much more than shave when it gets to be bothersome and have a haircut a few times a year, so I'm always happy to ask Mistress what she'd like to see. It's nothing to me one way or t'other.

As for clothing, I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy out of necessity and a little bit of preference. If I had the income I'd spice up my wardrobe a bit. Mistress seems to find almost anything I wear sexy though, so it's not a big deal.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 5:24:09 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Do you ever make your submissives get their hair cut a certain way, styled a certain way? Add or remove facial hair? Wear certain clothing? Do you feel that if they are your property, you should have the option of changing things like hairstyle or facial hair?

Absolutely. For me, it isn't a question of 'ownership' -- I don't -own- my servants. I am their Keeper, and they serve me by choice. However, we have preferences and standards and requirements, and sometimes, meeting those requires changes to appearance.

Just as an example, I do fireplay, play-piercing, etc. I prefer a "clean" canvas on which to work (not to mention that catching a patch of hair on fire during fireplay really -sux-!) Because of that, I require that my blood-dolls be cleanshaven. I've even had one of my boys shave completely, from head to toe, except for eyebrows (ok, this was just because he was HOT when he was bald and oiled! So shoot me).

On the other end of the spectrum, my Darling has required one of our servants to -not- cut his hair and let it grow out until it was nearly waist length. When we were still in our ancestral household, we did have a uniform for the servants, which they primarily wore if we were entertaining -- at some point, once we've re-established a new full household on our own property, we will likely return to that. In the interim, we adjust dress according to the project that a given servant is working on (for example, our Tea Servant will be dressed in full butler's attire, including gloves).

We don't hide this from those who are seeking service with us, and because of the capacity to keep multiple servants, it is possible that an exceptionally good servant who had appearance-change as a hard limit would be able to be accommodated, as long as doing so did not inconvenience myself or my Darling.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 8/31/2008 5:27:36 PM >

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 5:24:45 PM

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My Master has made it clear to me that I should have my hair colored at a salon (my choice of color) not out of a box at home and that I should keep it long. He also let me know that he enjoys a good tan so I try to spend an hour a day in the sun when the weather is right for it. I love the feeling that I carry the daily reminder of a task well done.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 5:51:13 PM

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We've discussed my hair (all bodily regions) and how she would like me to keep it. It does excite me to have her critique and direct my grooming practices. At one point I did not follow her direction, mainly because I'm an introvert, and she hadn't initially realized how much attention her preference could bring to me. This was accepted and did not cause any issues.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 6:40:11 PM

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While I have never actually served in an official sub/slave role for a Mistress, I have always found it extremely exciting to maintain my appearance in a way that pleases the woman that I am involved with. I don't mean on a micro-management level of "what shirt would you like me to wear today?" but in general style and/or special requests for special events. This is also true of my hair length/color and/or facial hair.

In fact in my younger days, I was involved with a woman who was attending beauty school and it came to be that she would tell me when it was time to "do something with [my] hair." She liked to change the style often and she tried everything from perming my hair to a complete head shave with a straight razor. I had no problem with anything she wanted to do because as I explained to her, she was the one who had to be seen with me in public: If she liked it then I liked it because she was happy. I never thought she was trying to change me as a person it was simply a way that I could please her. On more than one occasion, the event became very erotic and led to some of our most incredible sex. I began to look forward hearing her say..."OK..Come here and sit down."

I don't mean to hijack this thread but I have a question that is very closely related. Have any of the dominant ladies reading this ever shaved their sub/slave's head either as an initiation into training or as a punishment? I was chatting with a woman the other day who told me that one of her conditions for accepting a new sub/slave is that they must permit her to shave their head. She explained that it serves two purposes. The first is that the sub/slave is making a sacrifice to her in order to prove their intentions. She also believes that for many people, particularly female subs but many men as well, their hair is a major part of their identity. She believes that shaving their head strips them of the attachment to this identity. I'm simply curious if anyone else has ever done this or even heard of the practice? I had never heard of it but I'm also not very experienced in these matters. Thank you in advance.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 6:51:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

...do you find it hot/exciting that a woman would want to own you and change the way you look, or would you rather her like you simply the way you are?

I'd need a specific example to really know if I'd find the change hot or not...

If we're talking about a change that was fairly easy to undo, and didn't cause me any long-term health issues, or issues with regard to self-esteem, self-worth, or identity, that sort of thing, then I don't see the harm.

On the other hand, being 30+ years old now and fairly set in my ways, so I can see how being bombarded with unusual requests or demands for changes could easily send me into hard limit territory. I just think I'm a little too old now to deal with being reduced to someone's play project, so there would have to be some real advantages for a flurry of radical changes.

quote:

Have you ever been asked to change your appearance and told her no? Did it end the relationship? Is it a 'hard limit'?

Unfortunately, I've not yet been in a position to have something like this issue arise. (Wow, maybe that invalidates my entire reply?) But again, if I felt the changes were going to inevitably do me harm, then as much as I'd hate to say no, I'd have to say no.

As much as we'd like to think that all D-types we come in contact with have some inherent, heightened sense of what's truly good for s-types and what isn't, that's simply too often not the reality...

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 7:12:07 PM

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Hairstyle and clothing changes... seem pretty non-threatening to me. Then again, I work somewhere where dress code isn't an issue, and I keep my hair short to start with. In general, I'm inclined to say "kinda exciting," just because there's some power exchange there, but mostly just "happy to do something to make them happy."

More permanent changes are a different question entirely.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 7:42:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboy04276

I don't mean to hijack this thread but I have a question that is very closely related. Have any of the dominant ladies reading this ever shaved their sub/slave's head either as an initiation into training or as a punishment?

We buzzed Fox's hair for our third anniversary I believe.

He cried a lot but it he did it to demonstrate that he was giving himself to me fully.

Frankly his head isn't best suited for the buzzed look but we tried it and we bonded over the emotional roller coaster of it all.

He does keep his hair shorter for me because if he had his way it would be long and I just don't like long hair on anyone but me.... *shrugs*

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 8:03:44 PM

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yes, I do, and have done so. I pick out most of my beloved hubbypets clothes, or at least approve them. (when we met he had this horrid passion for *gag* plaid dress shirts) I also picked out the scent I wished him to wear, the shampoo, and soap he uses. I directed him to shave certian area's, and mantain them. He also had this horrid 1980's porn star mustache when we met that had to go. He is overweight, and so he is on a slow and healthy weight loss project (he has lost 70 lbs so far) I have found orgasms to be a great way to get a sub to do crunches....lol ...250 crunches earns a orgasm.
I tend to choose a submissive based on their personality, their heart and their soul, I figgure I can work with what ever else there is :)

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 8:03:56 PM

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I have heard of slaves having their heads shaved (females too) as a show of submission and bowing to their Master's/Mistress's will. I have not known of any females who had this done and only one male. A few close friends were invited to watch this shaving. It was a very emotional moment for both.

As for changing someone's appearence.....I think a Dom/Domme has not only the right BUT the responsibility to change something like a weight issue because it can affect the health of their sub/slave. I think it also gives the sub/slave a bit more motivation to know they are accoutable to someone who truly cares for them and wants them healthy and to be around a long time. As for clothing, my previous Master would tell me what to wear and I found it very pleasing to be dressed (or undressed) as He desired when He arrived home. Again, it was an assertion of His dominance to dictate what was to be worn.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 8:06:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboy04276

I don't mean to hijack this thread but I have a question that is very closely related. Have any of the dominant ladies reading this ever shaved their sub/slave's head either as an initiation into training or as a punishment? I was chatting with a woman the other day who told me that one of her conditions for accepting a new sub/slave is that they must permit her to shave their head. She explained that it serves two purposes. The first is that the sub/slave is making a sacrifice to her in order to prove their intentions. She also believes that for many people, particularly female subs but many men as well, their hair is a major part of their identity. She believes that shaving their head strips them of the attachment to this identity. I'm simply curious if anyone else has ever done this or even heard of the practice? I had never heard of it but I'm also not very experienced in these matters. Thank you in advance.

I would NEVER shave hair that lovely. The rest of the body, maybe, but not locks like those.

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 8:06:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Subs - do you find it hot/exciting that a woman would want to own you and change the way you look, or would you rather her like you simply the way you are? Have you ever been asked to change your appearance and told her no? Did it end the relationship? Is it a 'hard limit'?

I've always been fascinated by the idea. I've adopted changes (things that are opposed to my own preferences) just in response to comments from my partner, but to have it done as an act of dominance would be much more satisfying, particularly if she took an active role in it (as with the hair-cutting example).

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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 8:26:39 PM

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I enjoy making minor modifications to my subs appearance and his wardrobe. I once asked my sub to shave his head, but the result was not as pleasing as I thought it would be. Some male slaves do look better with their hair but it’s good to experiment. I am not great with scissors or clippers-so I would never save anyone myself. Turns out there is such a thing as bad pain and that is not something I’m into.

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)

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