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RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 5:07:59 PM

Posts: 113
Joined: 7/27/2008
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"Slaves are silly creatures when left to their own devices even sillier if they think that they have been abandoned. Thanks for sharing!"

I didnt' find that insulting.. that felt to me like a Master that actually understood how some slaves feel in that situation.

just because some slaves are tough and fine on their own, doesn't mean there aren't lots of slaves out there who suffer being Masterless.

Myself, some days being an unowned slave just feels like a slow form of torture and not the fun kind.

Master Armamis's comment just felt like he understood and was concerned.

(in reply to Bstardsbitch)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 5:18:19 PM

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
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My former loser wannabe Master decided to punish me by ignoring me completely for six weeks.

Edited to add:

I wouldn't say it was educational and the only purpose it served was to make me lose respect for him.

< Message edited by servantheart -- 9/5/2008 5:22:33 PM >

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 8:03:44 PM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

You make it sound like slaves can't possibly survive without a Master. They must shrivel up and die without one because SURELY she can't eat, sleep, work, care for her family, pay the mortgage, etc...without that oh so precious man to do it all for her.

Sure they can, no one is saying they can't. You were reading into it, don't. It's just that many slaves have to put walls in order to force themselves to combat the world when they would much rather be able to release that and be themselves and that in itself becomes draining and they are unfulfilled.

Aramis

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 8:04:53 PM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

just because some slaves are tough and fine on their own, doesn't mean there aren't lots of slaves out there who suffer being Masterless.

Myself, some days being an unowned slave just feels like a slow form of torture and not the fun kind.

Thank you scottishdove, that's exactly what I meant.

Aramis

(in reply to servantheart)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 8:07:36 PM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

My former loser wannabe Master decided to punish me by ignoring me completely for six weeks.

Servantheart,

I am sorry this occurred to you. If you don't mind, what did you do that he felt warranted such a punishment? Seems extreme!

Aramis

(in reply to servantheart)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 8:17:28 PM

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

My former loser wannabe Master decided to punish me by ignoring me completely for six weeks.

Servantheart,

I am sorry this occurred to you. If you don't mind, what did you do that he felt warranted such a punishment? Seems extreme!

Aramis

Maybe she didn't do anything...maybe he was just a twit. My 2 cents for what it's worth....

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 8:18:40 PM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

I think there is a difference between a slave, and a drama-whore.

I am not sure that I understand your posting. Are you saying that because she has deep seated need for Mastery and without it her life is in chaos, she is being a drama-whore and not a slave?

I would hate to read between the lines so a little clarification might be in order?

Aramis Duval

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 8:22:09 PM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

Maybe she didn't do anything...maybe he was just a twit. My 2 cents for what it's worth....

Obviously he is a twit. However it would be nice to understand what his logic is.

Aramis

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/5/2008 9:20:52 PM

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
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I am not collared formally but I do belong to Master. Being punished and not having any communication for 24 hours was enough for me. He knew it based on the messages and apology I sent him and he did write. Not hearing from him was a horrid experience that I don't want to experience a second time.

The only other time where we had a break in communication and it was for a number of weeks I did not belong to him and we were still in the getting to know taking it to the next level stage. He told me we could have so much more other than just play partners. I gave him an answer and then asked for blanket permission to continuing playing with others.

After about 6 weeks I wrote to him wishing him well and hope that he had found the sub/slave of his dreams. He replied he had and asked if I was still interested.

Other than the recent punishment and no contact for 24 hours Master does a good job of keeping in touch.

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 12:21:32 AM

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Joined: 9/2/2008
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In my experience, lack of communication left me floundering, wondering what I had done wrong and if it was punishment. My thoughts would spin off and I felt completely lost without his direction.
Yes, I existed, I have a good job, friends and family, but there was a void...that only he fills....an ache that only his hand soothes. Communication is critical in any relationship, but for me..as a submissive... in my humble opinion, it is vital. Lack of communication for me is the most severe punishment of all and if unwarranted, can be damaging.

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 1:09:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

I think there is a difference between a slave, and a drama-whore.

I am not sure that I understand your posting. Are you saying that because she has deep seated need for Mastery and without it her life is in chaos, she is being a drama-whore and not a slave?

I would hate to read between the lines so a little clarification might be in order?

Aramis Duval

Id hate to answer for her but I read it as. Shes not in control of her own life.

To me, in this life you cant offer control that you do not have, saying Master you can control my heart beats is stupid, because Im going to continue beating unless you kill me (yes I know you can control this if you feel the need to but in general body does it on its own) . I can how ever give you control on what I make for dinner because I control that. It be like saying Master I give you control over my sister, when my sister doesnt concent.

If your a grown adult, and cant remember to take your medications, or eat, or sleep, or do anything on your own theres a serious problem to me. It screams not only extreme co-dependency issues but a lot of other psychosis's and you should be hospitalized until you can do basic things in life on your own.

Saying Oh Master I Just Simply CANT live with out you is like a teenager in high school trying to get her boyfriend to stay with you. Theres a difference with needing to serve, or being a slave, and letting your life stop because a mans not there. Sure it might be hard to exist with out the guidance of another, but its not impossible, and ones life isnt in "chaos" its just learning to live with out it.

(/snark)If they find they cant do that then let them be idiots and jump into the next relationship they can with an idiot and get themselves killed.(/end snark)

Much like someone learns to live with out limbs or being able to walk, you learn to cope with out someone being around, but theres a difference between letting said "problem" run your life (being a drama whore) and learning to get over it. Always play the pity me card and you will ALWAYS remain a victim

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:12:25 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/17/2008
Status: offline

quote:

You make it sound like slaves can't possibly survive without a Master. They must shrivel up and die without one because SURELY she can't eat, sleep, work, care for her family, pay the mortgage, etc...without that oh so precious man to do it all for her.

Sure they can, no one is saying they can't. You were reading into it, don't. It's just that many slaves have to put walls in order to force themselves to combat the world when they would much rather be able to release that and be themselves and that in itself becomes draining and they are unfulfilled.

This is my first post here, although I have watched the boards for quite a while. With that said, here goes nothing.......

I identify as being a slave. I have been owned for nearly eleven years, and am on my own now for about 6 months. Yes, I am a slave, but without a Master/Owner, it IS hard to be this way. Can one be a slave without being owned? I am strong, self supporting, in control of my life; however, inside is another story. It is not good for a slave to be on their own, and I can absolutely see where someone of our ilk would attach themselves to anyone claiming to be MASTER! I have not done so, but lordy, I can understand how it could happen. Someone like myself (cant speak for anyone else) HAS to put up walls to survive, to get through being on my own after having been owned for such a long time. Its shocking to the system! I make the mortgage, car payment, do all of my stuff that needs to be done, and quite well, I might add - but inside I am empty. I think MasterofAramis is quite on point with his statements, and shows an insight into what few understand.

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:32:47 AM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

I think MasterofAramis is quite on point with his statements, and shows an insight into what few understand.

TearsForPayne,

Thanks for the kind words and I wish you well on your journey.

Sincerely,

Aramis Duval

(in reply to TearsForPayne)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:35:49 AM

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But is this a characteristic of being a slave? You appear to be taking this aspect of yourself and saying I am like this because I am a slave, but what if it has absolutely nothing to do with it?

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to TearsForPayne)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:48:57 AM

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Joined: 5/27/2007
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Just for the sake of clarification, are you talking about communication with someone you "own", who lives several thousands miles away, whom you never plan to meet?

I ask because it's been my experience that the disappearing "master" is usually just a case of "the cyber was fun, now I'm bored".

_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:58:16 AM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

Just for the sake of clarification, are you talking about communication with someone you "own", who lives several thousands miles away, whom you never plan to meet?

No, I am talking about a Master who has physical contact with a slave, although they do not live together.

Aramis

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:01:15 AM

Posts: 279
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From: Connecticut
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quote:

But is this a characteristic of being a slave?

I would have to say that for the most slaves I have known that have been involved in enslaved relationships, it is.

Aramis Duval

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:16:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

But is this a characteristic of being a slave?

I would have to say that for the most slaves I have known that have been involved in enslaved relationships, it is.

I would have to say that I have found the slaves I have known that have had a long enduring relationship.. this is a characteristic that is not in the majority... of even close to it.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:19:31 AM

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
But in general most doms just don't know how to deal with real problems so they walk away until the sub is scared enough to shut up about it and act like it's not really a problem.

Thank you for this.

As for the lack of communication for extended periods, I don't see how any Dom could view this as constructive problem-solving. If the terms are laid out beforehand (i.e. "I won't communicate with you for 48 hours so you can reflect on what has happened"), at least the sub has the security of knowing how long the "punishment" will last. But if it happens out of the blue with no explanation and no end in sight, of course the sub is going to feel hurt and abandoned, which can only damage the relationship.

_____________________________

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For this reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:28:18 AM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
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quote:

long enduring relationship

Yes, but you don't really state what kind of relationship. I believe there are two types. An accepted or a surrendered one. Most who have experienced the latter are far more prone to this than someone who has just accepted. At least that has been in my experience.

If anyone is wondering about the difference between the two, do a search on authors: sabba. You will find she posted something today at slaves thread: support and girlie time under the Gorean board that was spot on.

Keep in mind my original OP was not for submissives but slaves.

Aramis Duval

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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