RE: Why do you put up with it?

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RE: Why do you put up with it? - 11/30/2005 7:58:31 AM

justatoy2

Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Merc,
I understand what you are saying. And it does get very confusing. Especially because most of the problems you are talking about happens when one is searching o/l. Its much different when you meet someone at an event. You can read a person so much better in person than on paper. I think because of the availablity of the internet, we have recieved a broader spectrum of people who have delved into BDSM. Some merely dabble in D/s and some take it more seriously. Because of this, we are seeing where the lines between Dominance and submission are becoming a bit blurred. In my opinion, and i know some will not agree with me, there are some women and perhaps men too, who claim to be submissive because they are looking for love. They think this is way to find a place of acceptance. That is a trend i have seen. They don't really have a need or desire to serve, but want to be loved and taken care of. Anyway i am beginning to ramble to ill end this here...
have a wonderful day.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: Why do you put up with it? - 11/30/2005 11:25:08 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

who claim to be submissive because they are looking for love. They think this is way to find a place of acceptance.
They don't really have a need or desire to serve, but want to be loved and taken care of.

toy,
That is a perfect description. It is a very clear and succinct way to state an obvious human condition, the need or "want to be loved".

In previous threads, "seeking acceptance" has been the cited as the reasons why a number of people gravitate to BDSM dating sites. As if the people here are more "accepting" of the overweight, underweight, clinically depressed, OCD, ADD, bald, red headed, too old, too young, too married, too sexual. Have we universally accepted anyone? But the idea may be part of the decision process a person has when they decide to cast a wider net and "check out that weird site where people beat each other". These threads straighten them out. Soon enough, they'll see how we aren't any more/less "accepting" than the people who chat at Match.com.

There is also another factor, fear. It's one rarely talked about. Many people fear being alone or the thought of being without a "relationship" for the rest of their lives. As a result the definition of "relationship" expands. CM, and sites like it, expand it pretty broadly. On the surface this seems to be a textbook place where you can find a comfortable seat for every ass. But looks can be deceiving.

Most of the seats and asses seek only temporary comfort. That warm, cozy, comfortable recliner that you want to relax in for the rest of your life, the "relationship" chair, is mixed in with a lot of church style folding wooden benches. They exist, but it takes some shopping and testing to find them. The one consistent that should hold true, is that every comfortable chair at a BDSM dating site is going to be LEATHER. If you don't like the look, feel, smell, texture, or the way it sticks to your skin when you are on it, shop someplace else. If you want to fight that fact, don't be surprised when you are disappointed. Pleather may look like the real thing from a distance, but it isn't.

(in reply to justatoy2)

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Post #: 62