Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical)

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Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 1:04:43 AM

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What a surprise, Untouched has more rhetorical posits to deliver to the minds of CM!

I guess I’m having a difficult time wrapping my mind around the use of the strap-on and the socio-philosophical derivatives of its use. I guess the majority of my issues/questions derive from the fact that the strap-on (dildo) is a literal replacement for the penis, or something "granted" specifically to men. With this being the case, how does a feminist view the role of the strap-on? In one hand, the strap-on is a tool for dominance; it suggests the superiority of a woman, her ability to control a sub, his/her sexual pleasure, by dominating them sexually in their most vulnerable areas. This seems to assert that the only difference between a male and a female is the penis. Such thinking seems to be pro-feminist in nature. It suggests that the person-made, synthetic phallus is able to undermine the primary natural inequity between males and females. The strap-on becomes the Great (or at least pinky-sized) Equalizer. This type of thinking coexists with many feminists who view male and female as being inherently equal.

On the other hand, however, the use of a strap-on could inadvertently validate the natural dominance of males over females. Fair or unfair, having a penis affords a man natural superiority, at least in the bedroom, over females. In using the dildo, the woman/Domme, is attempting to become/act more like a male. In effect, these "act"ions suggest, intentionally or not, a continual longing by certain females to become male-like. This line of thinking, at least to me, would undermine any possibility for a “true” Female supremacy and/or actual FemDom. (This doesn't even take into account the physical side of strap-on sex, and the oft-one-sided dispersal of pleasure)

I'm not trying to get into the cultural IDs of man and woman or socially-created gender norms/roles, or anything along those lines.

I'm just curious.

I've had wine -- again, so I apologize if this reads like a drunken ramble (even though it is). I'm so awkward!

< Message edited by Untouched1282 -- 9/10/2008 1:12:38 AM >

RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 1:39:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

....Fair or unfair, having a penis affords a man natural superiority, at least in the bedroom, over females...

I can't really agree with this as it's worded. A male's role in penetrative sex is one that allows him to basically have the point of sexual contact happen outside of his own body. But a female, in contrast, experiences penetrative sex within her body. So its in my view that it could easily be argued that the female is afforded superiority in that she is able to have natural sex within her own body. It's all a matter of your point of view in my opinion.

... and this isn't even taking into consideration the results of the sex that she participates in can yield a human life... No man can claim that bragging right.

quote:

In using the dildo, the woman/Domme, is attempting to become/act more like a male. In effect, these "act"ions suggest, intentionally or not, a continual longing by certain females to become male-like.

The actions may indeed suggest that to some, but that doesn't necessarily mean when a woman straps on a....strap-on she is actually wanting to be more like a man. Her actual intentions could indeed be something else entirely. Its not totally unreasonable that perhaps she is instead planning on demonstrating to the other individual in the room what its like to become more female-like.

Edited to add stuff...

< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 9/10/2008 1:42:03 AM >

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 1:45:08 AM

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I wouldnt worry about the socio philosophical implications.
Just strap on and enjoy .
Thats what I say.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 1:51:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

I wouldnt worry about the socio philosophical implications.
Just strap on and enjoy .
Thats what I say.

Oh! It's not necessarily my "thing". I was just on the site and thinking about it.

(in reply to seeksfemslave)

RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 1:56:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

The actions may indeed suggest that to some, but that doesn't necessarily mean when a woman straps on a....strap-on she is actually wanting to be more like a man. Her actual intentions could indeed be something else entirely. Its not totally unreasonable that perhaps she is instead planning on demonstrating to the other individual in the room what its like to become more female-like.

I didn't mean to suggest that it was a conscious decision by a woman to act like a male. I just meant that her decision to act in such a manner carried within it an inherent suggestion that she is acting like a male, if that makes sense. I think I'm drunk lol I shouldn't be allowed to do freelance work haha.

I agree with the comment about the man becoming "femanized". I guess that's the whole point of sissy play.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 4:46:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282
Fair or unfair, having a penis affords a man natural superiority, at least in the bedroom, over females.

You're kidding, right? Having a penis affords a man natural superiority when it comes to peeing outdoors. In the bedroom it's a fun and interesting body part, not a scepter.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 4:53:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

I I guess the majority of my issues/questions derive from the fact that the strap-on (dildo) is a literal replacement for the penis, or something "granted" specifically to men.

I've had wine -- again, so I apologize if this reads like a drunken ramble (even though it is). I'm so awkward!

Remember, strap ons can also be used (and are quite a lot of fun) between two women. "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar", and all that.

(Drinking while posting gets me in trouble too sometimes!

)

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 4:56:33 AM

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This is a ridiculous thread. Let's not confuse and degrade the attempts by brave women and men to equalize our society with our erotic imaginations and our eroticized conceptions of power.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 5:05:16 AM

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I view the strapon as merely a tool (pretty much the same way I view a man's cock). It has its uses but none of them have a thing to do with dominance. I use a strapon or a hand held dildo because he has an orifice that I want to use, these are the tools that I use to do that.

I am a feminist and see nothing wrong with strapon play. I do not hold the view that penetrative sex is a "dominant act".

~Lashra

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 5:21:41 AM

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Wow, and I thought a strap on was just a toy that I could use to fuck women with. You know make em all wet and horny and making nice sounds. Never gave much thought to the socio-philosophical derivatives of its use.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 5:29:40 AM

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Your whole dildo theory revolves around the mistaken idea that a penis affords a man sexual superiority over a woman - it's an old hat idea that was flushed down the toilet in the 1960s which Freud is responsible for popularising (he couldn't have everything right).

Little boys think that having a stick to poke with makes them superior to girls, with their strange invisible bits... unfortunately, many seem to never grow out of the idea.

< Message edited by kittinSol -- 9/10/2008 5:30:03 AM >

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 5:33:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Your whole dildo theory revolves around the mistaken idea that a penis affords a man sexual superiority over a woman - it's an old hat idea that was flushed down the toilet in the 1960s which Freud is responsible for popularising (he couldn't have everything right).

Little boys think that having a stick to poke with makes them superior to girls, with their strange invisible bits... unfortunately, many seem to never grow out of the idea.

Well if it's true, then I must be superior to the boys, cause they only have one dick and I have a selection to choose from. I even have one with 2 heads and it's purple!

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 5:59:26 AM

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The problem with your question is that it assumes that the attraction to using a strap on is to force a man into "ultimate submission". I've read many times that men seem to assume that being penetrated by a woman's dildo represents an ultimate form of submission. Perhaps it is to many men, but I don't think most women see it that way. I know I don't. As others have already explained, it is simply another form of sexual/sensual entertainment and enjoyment and expression.

I understand your interest in analyzing things, (I tend to be pretty analytical myself) but sometimes you have to just realize that there are not deep seated philosophical meanings to things that people enjoy. Does anyone wonder why people enjoy roller coasters or haunted houses?

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 6:04:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Your whole dildo theory revolves around the mistaken idea that a penis affords a man sexual superiority over a woman - it's an old hat idea that was flushed down the toilet in the 1960s which Freud is responsible for popularising (he couldn't have everything right).

Little boys think that having a stick to poke with makes them superior to girls, with their strange invisible bits... unfortunately, many seem to never grow out of the idea.

Well if it's true, then I must be superior to the boys, cause they only have one dick and I have a selection to choose from. I even have one with 2 heads and it's purple!

It's purple? Well you shit all over men then!

I want a purple penis!

Anyway, I fail to see what's superior about a penis... You can pee standing up... which, mind you, women can do too if they put a little effort into learning... Asside from that, why would I WANT a real penis anyway? When you're 15 you get errections over nothing, the hormones in your body just MAKE it happen... when you're 45 you CAN'T get it up for the cute blonde you paid for the night... you have this short gap in which you can have sex with (virtually) no problems... why would I want that? I can be 100 years old and out fucking my husbind... Haha... You didn't hear me say that!

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 6:38:46 AM

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Untouched, I have done a lot of strap on play with men. There are a few things that you haven't taken into consideration.

The men that have come to me that have wanted to be sissified are often most interested in cross dressing. Most of them I never had any sexual encounter with at all. Be careful not to confuse anal penetration with sissification.

There are more nerve endings around the anus than in any other part of the body. If done correctly, anal penetration can be an exquisitely wonderful feeling. A strap on can be a wonderful tool for this.

There are some - both women and men - who will think of the strap on philosophically - the great equalizer. For me it was a nice power trip to "take" a man, especially if he was a virgin in that area. They had the same feeling. For others, it is simply a toy.

I was not being particularly feminist in using it. I was providing pleasure for both my partner and myself. Now that I am also playing with women I think it would be fun to use one on a woman - again, simply for pleasure.

I enjoy your questions, and there are a lot of philosophical areas you can into with BDSM. For me the mental part is very important. Just remember that for many it is simply about the pleasure and they get no enjoyment out of pondering on all of the mental ramifications. Part of 'your kink may not be my kink but I hope you really enjoy it'.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 7:43:37 AM

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I think it's first important to establish that the OP is really only talking about the view of "feminists" when it comes to strap on play, which has nothing to do with femdoms, kinky women, dominas, tops, you name it. Totally different (sometimes overlapping, sure) segment of people.
Akasha

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 7:49:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282
...the use of the strap-on and the socio-philosophical derivatives of its use.

As a virgin in that area...and given that my Lady has a specific interest in the strap-on and in anal play...the socio-philosophical derivatives I am experiencing are:

Intense Curiosity
Anticipation
Excitement
Nervousness
Trembling
A bit of nausea
Lather, rinse, repeat

I try not to drive or operate heavy machinery when I am thinking about it...

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 9/10/2008 7:50:03 AM >

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 9:21:29 AM

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It's not that I don't appreciate an honest question. I do. However, this time, I do think it is a case of over analyzing. This is something that happens a lot any time the mention of a strap on comes up.

What I'm saying here is, we don't go looking for the 'deeper meaning' of any other type of sexual aid. In fact, we don't even go looking for a better explanation for the use of the same device between two females. It's not even something we feel we have to put a greater psychological symbolism if it's a dildo held by hand. Is there some greater purpose in the mind for a vibrator that a female might use for her own pleasure? What about any other object we use for enhancement?

No, we don't. Well, at least I don't. I look at all of these types of things the same way. The are things that we can use to enjoy a variation of sexual experiences. Without some type of device, there are certain areas I couldn't reach. With all of the nerve ending that are in the anus, why wouldn't I want to use them? Sure, I could hold the same thing by hand and get that result, but it wouldn't have the same physical stimulation for Me. Many harnesses have a vibe built in for that very purpose. Plus, if you want to view penetration as an intimate act, I'd kind of like to be a part of it.

This has nothing to do with a deep seated urge to feel I need to balance the power an added sexual organ or some kind of desire to be male. It has more to do with using the tools I have available to the best of My ability.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 9:48:12 AM

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You might enjoy reading Bitchyjones.com. She has a lot to say about feminism in kink and mentions strap-ons (she hates 'em.)

Personally, I don't like strap-on play. In large part, my disdain for it comes from men approaching it as the only thing that I can do, as a woman, to dominate them. Cuz only women and gay men get penetrated, and we all know what submissive weaklings they are.

And it gets extra weird when they want to pretend to give you head... but that's a whole other can o' worms.

Also... there's poo in asses. Or at least, remnants of it. I can handle play that involves a buttplug if I don't think on it too hard, but putting my crotch near a place that spouts poo is a definite no-no for me.

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RE: Feminism and the Strap-on (philosophical) - 9/10/2008 10:03:16 AM

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Something to consider, Untouched1282, is that strapons are not only used by women.

Men use them as well.

Why? Less need to worry about maintaining an erection is one reason. Partner likes it is another. Fear of disease may be another motivation.

Also submissives use them as well -- again both men and women -- at the request or orders of their dominants.

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