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IrishMist -> RE: The Extinction of Female Submission?! (9/21/2008 3:53:30 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
Recently, I was having a private discussion with a fellow CM poster I respect very much who has a few decades on me as far as life experience.
One of his opinions that really caught my eye was something that I had reflected upon a couple of times in the past.
That it would be increadingly harder and harder for someone of my generation to find a female submissive for the kind of male dominated relationship that I wanted in comparision to 20 years ago, because society teaches women more and more that what we want isn't right.
Now...don't get me wrong. I am not saying this is a BAD thing or that I wish feminism wasn't around. I would much rather spent more time looking for a partner than live in a society where one group of people were indirectly taught they HAD to do what I wanted, because of their gender.
I'm curious as to whether or not you find this perception grounded in reality.
I partially disagree only because I sincerely believe that much of it has to do with HOW a person is raised; not WHEN they were raised.
I grew up in a house where yes, the male was the dominant personality and my mother was sub-servient and submissive to him. However, we were not raised to blindly believe in this. We were raised to respect our parents; if they told us to do something, we did, no questions asked...period. We never would have thought to 'play one against the other'; it just was not something that would be tolerated in my family.
The smaller things were just picked up through the years. At meal times, the men were served first; not becasue we were told that is the way it is done, but because my mother always served my father and brothers first, and then us; before she served herself. If we had issues with something, we always went to my father first; not because we were told that was the way to do things but because we saw my father as being the stronger of the two. It just made sense to go to him first.
With my own kids, they probably just picked up the same kind of pattern that I picked up growing up. They were never told that this is the way things are; they just followed my example. Their father and and the boys were always served first; even after their father's death. The girls came second. Us girls, took care of the boys in that we cleaned up after them, washed their clothes, cooked their meals and gave them an ear to shout their complaints to. The boys just naturally took up the role of protectors.
It had nothing to do with them being told that this is the way things are; and almost everything to do with them just picking up the same pattern that they saw every day of their lives. It did not stop my oldest daughter though from going out and making a place for herself in a career that is primarlily held by men; nor has it stopped my youngest daughter from expressing exactly what she things about 'men work women stay home' attitudes; nor does it stop both of them from serving a male who enters their home first; before looking to see if the females need anything.
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