Dealing with "That time"

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Dealing with "That time"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Dealing with "That time"

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Dealing with "That time" - 12/1/2005 7:09:14 PM

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

Just out of curiosity. As all women sub/slaves end up with that one week out of the month where they get cramps and you get a headache. So just how do you deal with sub/slaves and the mood swings that can come with it. Do you run things as normal? Ease up and let more slide? Just out of curiosity how do you deal with it?

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/1/2005 7:13:26 PM

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Send them on retreat!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/1/2005 7:20:51 PM

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf1020

Just out of curiosity. As all women sub/slaves end up with that one week out of the month where they get cramps and you get a headache. So just how do you deal with sub/slaves and the mood swings that can come with it. Do you run things as normal? Ease up and let more slide? Just out of curiosity how do you deal with it?

The realities of life can't be ignored, but changing the rules because its that time of the month is a bad idea. That will plant the seeds of manipulation. Then she knows that if she don't feel good you bend the rules. You've then opened the door for every ache and pain to be used as an excuse. Will every sub/slave do that to get out of the letter of the law? No, but will even the best slave test you regularly to build her trust and security in your rock solid enforcement of your own rules? Hell ya! They feel trust and secure in their relationship partially through the tests we as Dominants pass regularly....Actions, not words!

Understand what they go through, and be supportive if the difficulties of life and when they are not feeling well, but reassure them by keeping the rules in place, not tossing the rule book out anytime life throws a twist. Do that and they will become insecure in what you say and what you actually do in no time.

Be strong and consistant. It's the promise you made them when you place the collar on their neck.

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/1/2005 7:25:33 PM

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

you bleeding heart.....Retreat for you too!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to B1gbear)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/1/2005 7:57:27 PM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Everyone reacts to their period differently. If your woman has a seriously hard time, have her consult her doctor! Hemorrhage style bleeding and crippling cramps are potential signs of illness. Otherwise, how do you treat any person who is not well? Take some tylenol, and get some thermacare wraps.

Play wise, the normally erogenous zones can become hideously painful---be sensible, and avoid them if it's a problem.

Ms Francine

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to fastlane)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/1/2005 11:12:51 PM

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Everyone reacts to their period differently. If your woman has a seriously hard time, have her consult her doctor! Hemorrhage style bleeding and crippling cramps are potential signs of illness. Otherwise, how do you treat any person who is not well? Take some tylenol, and get some thermacare wraps.

Play wise, the normally erogenous zones can become hideously painful---be sensible, and avoid them if it's a problem.

Ms Francine

Here, here, Ms. Francine...excellent advice. Spoken like.....a woman.

This "time" can range anywhere from mildly annoying to horrendously painful to driving one to one's bed...depending on the woman, her medical history, family history, etc. So, one steadfast way of doing things will not work for all. Menstrual cycles are not one-size fits all.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/1/2005 11:17:07 PM

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

If the mood swings and other PMS symptoms are severe, many OB/Gyns will prescribe birth control pills to regulate hormone levels. There is frequently a marked improvement in both physical and emotional PMS symptoms. Getting the dosage and pill combination right can take a few months so patience is necessary. If The Pill is not possible for other medical reasons, check out the vitamin and herbal remedies for PMS and menopause at the local health food stores.

PS - And unless you are a REAL SADIST, don't tell your girl to start singing the lyrics to
"I Enjoy Being a Girl!" when her menstrual cycle hits.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 2:11:07 AM

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

I know sever cases might call for a Dr. But a lot of women durring their period get a edgy (I see a tampon wrapper in the garbage in the bathroom and I know it is time to mentaly prepare myself lol) and a lot of the subs I know (includding the one I'm considering) a little bratty. So just wanted opinions from others as to how they deal with a sub he gets edgy or bratty durring their period.

(in reply to Vendaval)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 2:44:39 AM

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

well luckily i don't get a period anymore...histerectomy. I think rules shouldn't get bent , but if you feel her struggling, maybe help her to work through it.

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 5:20:37 AM

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

I believe in easing off some, at least at first. But, consistency is important. I think the mechanics of the relationship (D/s or M/s) even during that time. Allowances do have to be made, of course. But it's very possible to continue on with the dynamics of the relationship even during these periods.

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 5:53:15 AM

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

During my period, I can never get far enough away from myself. lol Seriously, chances are, it is worse on her than it ever will be on you. It is a myth that when a woman is possessed by hormones that she isn't responsible for her actions because she isn't in her "right mind" -- oh we know what we are doing, we just can't help it. Then we feel bad, then we cry, then we get angry, then we hate you and then we love you all over again for being so ......understanding. lol It's a wild ride! My advice, just go with it. Don't change a thing unless it is truly necessary for health reasons or negative humiliation.

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 6:37:01 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

The realities of life can't be ignored, but changing the rules because its that time of the month is a bad idea. That will plant the seeds of manipulation. Then she knows that if she don't feel good you bend the rules. You've then opened the door for every ache and pain to be used as an excuse. Will every sub/slave do that to get out of the letter of the law? No, but will even the best slave test you regularly to build her trust and security in your rock solid enforcement of your own rules? Hell ya! They feel trust and secure in their relationship partially through the tests we as Dominants pass regularly....Actions, not words!

Spoken like a man who has never had a menstrual cycle....lol. I believe how one deals with "that time of the month" should be based upon the individual.

Personally, I have not had much issue with that time of the month with the exception of one time frame when I began to have some serious PMS issues and cramping....indicators to me that something was wrong. I went to see the doc and sure enough I had an ovarian cyst that was screwing with my hormone production. All women experience this time differently. I have a friend who is so incapacitated for the first day of her period that she spends it in bed. She throws up from morning til night and does not have the strength or energy to get up and make herself a cup of tea. Her doctors reassure that this is just her "normal" cycle. Another friend spends most of the three days prior to her period in tears.

I disagree that by being compassionate and understanding...and yes...possibly even bending a few rules....that you are setting yourself up for dealing with a sub that will manipulate at every ache and pain. Quite honestly, I would be offended if any Dominant I chose to be with could even be capable of having that mindset. To say that to me would be akin to saying that I was incapable of having integrity. Furthermore, I don't need to "test" a Dominant's boundaries in order to build my trust and security, nor do I need to be "tested" by one. You are correct in saying actions not words.....over time they speak for themselves....tests of our character happen spontaneously in life, they need not be created.

And as a side note.....to all of you men that think PMS and your period happen at the same time (it always amazes me how many men and even some women have this misconception)....they do not. Most of the emotional impact in the menstrual cycle occurs in a time frame that starts from two weeks to a few days BEFORE actual bleeding occurs. Hence the name PRE menstrual syndrome. By the time you begin to see those wrappers in the wastebasket you are already on the downward curve.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to B1gbear)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 7:21:47 AM

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Well, coming from the submissive woman's side........

I would be very confused if my Dom was to suddenly change his behavior just because I was a bit 'undertheweather' lol. ( and I use that word very lightly, my periods have always been extremely painful for me to the point that I can barely move ). Nor would I want him to to change his behavior.

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 7:36:55 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I would be very confused if my Dom was to suddenly change his behavior just because I was a bit 'undertheweather' lol. ( and I use that word very lightly, my periods have always been extremely painful for me to the point that I can barely move ). Nor would I want him to to change his behavior.

Which well illustrates my point......the best way to deal with that time of the month is something that needs to be done on an individual basis. A Dominant need not change his behavior at all. I think that if he has taken the time to know your personal cycle then he can certainly determine for himself what his expectations of you at that time are. No need to be fluctuating back and forth and changing behaviors. But I would certainly not expect a Dominant to have the same expectations of me if I had a bad case of the flu, pneumonia or had just gotten out of surgery.....the floor might not get hand scrubbed that day. I would think it irresponsible for a Dominant to expect anything from you beyond your physical capabalities. Physical capabilities can vary....life happens. Rigidity is not a bad thing as long as it is not devoid of flexibility if there is a VIABLE NEED to be so.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 10:35:44 AM

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

[quote}

[
The realities of life can't be ignored, but changing the rules because its that time of the month is a bad idea. That will plant the seeds of manipulation. Then she knows that if she don't feel good you bend the rules. You've then opened the door for every ache and pain to be used as an excuse. Will every sub/slave do that to get out of the letter of the law? No, but will even the best slave test you regularly to build her trust and security in your rock solid enforcement of your own rules? Hell ya! They feel trust and secure in their relationship partially through the tests we as Dominants pass regularly....Actions, not words!

[/quote]

Then, dress her in sackcloth, rub ashes on her face, and make her carry a lantern around while yelling "Unclean! Unclean!" at regular intervals.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 12/2/2005 10:39:31 AM >

(in reply to B1gbear)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 10:49:35 AM

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

I tend to have more of an emotional type of reaction when its getting close to that time of the month and I also have cravings for salt (I can taste salt in my mouth, I'll just start eating very salty foods). I tend to get depressed more than anything else, so I like an extra hug but I wouldn't say that I act up particularly if I'm PMS'ing. I don't think that the rules need to change, I'm pretty capable of exerting some level of self control over my actions.

But I still like an extra hug during that time.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 11:49:08 AM

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

ive had a partial hysterectomy so i still cycle, which means i get all the emotions etc of pms(pmt) but not the pain or the bleeding. Master says how lucky he is though, cuz my emotions during that time play out in needing more cuddles, i dont get moody and insane like a lot of the women he has known before. So how does he deal with me during those times? He cuddles me more.

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 12:16:21 PM

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

Well said, mistoferin !
I couldn't agree more. Glad to see you clarified PMS vs active menstruation.

I no longer menstruate, but when I did I had a rather benign type of PMS. I had occasional mood swings, bloating and so on. But a day or two before my period comenced, I had unbelievable fatique. I would wake up, go to work and at some point during the day become completely exhausted. Barely able to keep my eyes open or concentrate. When I got home from work, I would crash as soon as I could get my clothes off and sleep until the next AM.
I had two different Dominants during my menstruating days. Neither one of them ever had a problem adjusting our schedule to allow me to sleep from 4P until 7A the next day. There were both big boys and self sufficient enough to allow some flexability. I would have had big questions if ever asked to drag my useless ass around, when I was of no good to myself or any one else.

Life is what it is. Woman mentruate, children get ill, adults get ill, crisis arise. For me, there must be flexabilty in any relationship dynamic to accomadate these ebbs and flows.

Change the rules? I wouldn't expect to be able to mouth off, have a temper tantrum or severe misbehaviors. But to have adjustments made, yes.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/2/2005 2:20:11 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Links on other threads of this topic:

For any female sub

how to deal?

That Time

PMS and the Submissive

The Rose Colored Week

How do you like your dom/master treating you on your period?

Serious questions about PMS

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Dealing with "That time" - 12/3/2005 6:33:02 AM

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

hmmmm....during that time...hardest question to answer...crop or flogger...(smile)

Fury

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Dealing with "That time"

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.039