quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

when i finally told my mother about the abuse and the fact that he'd raped me, her comment was "at least you know he still finds you attractive".  and she wonders why for a very long time after that i wouldn't talk to her.

PM

If it weren't that my mother was an only child i would say yours was related to mine.  When i was raped, she said i was asking for it.

HUGGS

manxy


_____________________________

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury

(in reply to PanthersMom)

quote:

ORIGINAL: reddivinity

They are ultimately the ones that will be suffering. Nothing is louder than silence.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

So when is enough enough?  Is it more difficult to see things getting out of control in a power exchange dynamic?  If you are willing to share, what did it take for you or someone you knew, both vanilla and D/s to finally sever an abusive relationship?

lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

when i finally told my mother about the abuse and the fact that he'd raped me, her comment was "at least you know he still finds you attractive".  and she wonders why for a very long time after that i wouldn't talk to her.

PM

quote:

ORIGINAL: VelvetCruelty

I spent five years with a military man that told doctors over and over that I was crazy and needed to be medicated.  It was easier to cheat on me when I was 'zombied out' on the four different medications they had me on - anitdepressant, sleeping pill, anti-anxiety and something else I don't even remember.  But, I was a new mom and I loved my husband and I wanted to be a good wife.

He got caught cheating on me, in a motel, with a 19yr old girl, when our daughter was just five months old.  I forgave him, took him back and spent two years in couples therapy (again, military doctors) listening to how everything was my fault, how I wasn't good enough.

Sadly, I wasn't going to leave him.  He finally found another girl in Tallahassee, FL living in a double-wide who thought she would be a better wife and mother than I was.

I had a breakdown and tried to overdose.  After seeing the other people that were in the hospital I came to the realization, that, while I was in a bad way, I wasn't as bad as the girl who wouldn't write down her goals for the day in group, unless they gave a piece of paper to her imaginary friend.

He packed up all my crap, gave me 1500.00 in cash and sent me away.  I moved from SC to CA - flushed all my meds - went through that whole 'bugs crawling on your skin' withdrawl and survived.

I am truly and wholly grateful that he threw me out when he did.  I cannot imagine, how cooked my brain would be today, if I was still on the meds that I didn't need, just so I was easier to control.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa

Enough is for me was when I had to go to the emergency room from a ear infection and could not hear out of my left ear, because he snatched me out of my truck by my hair, kicking and screaming for him to get off me. Manhandled me to the back of the truck, hair still in one of his hands, with the other hand proceeds to shove my face full of dirt  over and over,while I was struggling to breathe dirt filling my mouth and ears trying to wiggle away. As I was able to get on my belly and try to  squirm way, he proceeds to pound my ass over and over with his hands. Telling me what a cunt I was and I had a filthy mouth. 
As I ran to my truck to try to escape, He proceeds to snatch the keys away from me and walked away down the street. I called the cops. He told the cops that I was drunk, but if that was the case, surely I would have to take some type of test and  been arrested and taken to jail.He swore he had not taken my key and did not give them back,and the night ended with me having to get a hotel near by, as I was stranded more then 50 miles from home, so that I may call Ford to get a new "chip"  key the next morning.
As I fell asleep from 4 am to 6 am there was a message on the phone stating my key was down stairs. (amazing how they just showed up ) The bruises he left on my body by manhandling was visually seen by my teenage boy. When my boy said he would never talk to me again, If I went back to this man, that was enough to say, "enough and never again". The choice I needed to make was clear.
Complete drama through the prior three years as I tried to understand this man, snapping at him more then one time hitting him in his face which is clearly unlike my regular personality, should have been enough, but wasn't. 
edited for spelling errors.

quote:


I also run into those types of  personalities , their justification /obsession for punishment is a bit to harsh for my tastes. I strive to be good, to do well, I do not like tension in my relationship. There better be a damn good reason why he is blistering my arse. If I have done something wrong, I should know way in advance that I will have discipline, deserving of that mistake. Communication is key.

_____________________________

respectfully,
candisa  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alphascendant

quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa

Enough is for me was when I had to go to the emergency room from a ear infection and could not hear out of my left ear, because he snatched me out of my truck by my hair, kicking and screaming for him to get off me. Manhandled me to the back of the truck, hair still in one of his hands, with the other hand proceeds to shove my face full of dirt  over and over,while I was struggling to breathe dirt filling my mouth and ears trying to wiggle away. As I was able to get on my belly and try to  squirm way, he proceeds to pound my ass over and over with his hands. Telling me what a cunt I was and I had a filthy mouth. 
As I ran to my truck to try to escape, He proceeds to snatch the keys away from me and walked away down the street. I called the cops. He told the cops that I was drunk, but if that was the case, surely I would have to take some type of test and  been arrested and taken to jail.He swore he had not taken my key and did not give them back,and the night ended with me having to get a hotel near by, as I was stranded more then 50 miles from home, so that I may call Ford to get a new "chip"  key the next morning.
As I fell asleep from 4 am to 6 am there was a message on the phone stating my key was down stairs. (amazing how they just showed up ) The bruises he left on my body by manhandling was visually seen by my teenage boy. When my boy said he would never talk to me again, If I went back to this man, that was enough to say, "enough and never again". The choice I needed to make was clear.
Complete drama through the prior three years as I tried to understand this man, snapping at him more then one time hitting him in his face which is clearly unlike my regular personality, should have been enough, but wasn't. 
edited for spelling errors.

  What were you doing there "50 miles from home?"  Why did he "snatch" you out of your truck? If he had indeed brutalized you, enough so that your injuries were viewable by others, why didn't the police arrest him? If they responded to a domestic situation and saw any visible marks, they would have hauled him straight to jail. Did they charge him with assault? They couldn't arrest you for drunk driving if there were no keys.
  Believing that your teenager would not ever speak to you again if you went back to this man makes you appear as if you may be almost as immature as the teenager is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

We can not adequately condense our whole experience into a few paragraphs.

I am dismayed that the comments from this post seem to be an attempt to discredit the poster rather than coming across as an attempt to understand.
Frankly, it makes me angry.