|
marieToo -> RE: Where are the submissive submissives? (10/3/2008 8:05:56 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
Marie, I do get all you said.
My only thing to add would be that it's more helpful when talking about relationships and BDSM in general to not focus on that great relationship being between a dominant and a submissive. Great relationships and personal growth come from all quarters. That deep connection doesn't have to depend on the orientation of the person and yes - being honest. If Michael had been anyone else new to the forum, or less well appriciated, then tons of bricks would have fallen on the mention of 'great submissives' - just as they would and do when people come in and dare to mention the word 'true' or 'real'. If - as you say - we(generic) are to take his words as a personal thought on what makes a great *insert here* then why is this not done for the hundreds of people that post similar concepts just in different wording? Is it because it's Michael that we are expected to accept it without a disclaimer when there are countless others are ridiculed and berated for doing the same because they don't have this imagined postion?
No offense to Michael, I have encountered the same on a personal level where people hold one up in such high regard that almost nothing you can say can be perceived as a mistake or badly worded. But people should understand that even the perceived 'great' fuck up and make mistakes and issue bad comments and instructions and it's not fair to belittle those with lesser 'standing' to receive more and nasier responses because they just aren't known.
The OP came in here and issued a volitile example - and a difficult worded post which people have been callous and nasty about in their droves. A regular poster comes in and exhibits a similar volitle example and thought and I - we - are told we should take it only as a personal introspective thought because we challenge and disagree politely and that they were only passing over a personal viewpoint of what makes something or someone great?? What are we supposed to do - admire and adore from afar with the backs of our hands to our foreheads because its a regular and seemingly well liked poster? Can people not see the hypocrisy in this anywhere?
the.dark.
I have noticed this too without a doubt. I honesty think, though I'm sure I've fucked up too, that if the OP (a "non-reg") had said "This is what submission is", I would have had the same comments if people had been telling him his feelings were flat out wrong.
And despite the fact that he came in from the gate with an obvious tone of condescention, insults and blatant name-calling even towards the people who hadn't yet been nasty with him, he still got some very nice answers, which he seemed to throw back at people while addressing them as idiots. I don't know. I don't think too many regulars would get away with calling people idiots, yet people still gave this guy's post the time of day. Yes, he was met with some of the subbie mafia lol, but of course that was going to happen after he started flinging shit in every direction and completely losing his composure.
As far as the hypocrisy, Im sure if I look at myself deeply enough I will find it at some place or another. Your general comment about newbies getting torn apart vs regulars getting away with whatever they want is something that I agree with whole-heartedly and something that personally and privately bothers me to a point where I want to jump in and rail on people for doing it. In fact, I have, and I've gotten torn a new asshole for it plenty of times. I'm not exactly among the crowd of most-admired posters. Plenty of times on these boards I voice the minority opinion even though I know I'm gonna catch flack for it, because I'm not one to blow smoke up the asses of the regulars just to be a part of the crowd.
This may come as a surprise, but in the nearly 3 yrs that I have been here, I have never had a single exchange publically or privately with Michael, with the exception of when I said "welcome back" last week and looked at his link of wood works. In fact most times I have not liked a lot of what he has said, which is why I never commented to him in all the time I've been here. In the case of this thread, someone said something that resonated with me deeply, and it was incidental that it happened to have been Michael.
Btw, I don't take your post as some personal attack on me. I think your point is a valid one and something I have noticed myself. I think it makes for a great topic in and of itself actually. And although I'm probably guilty of a lot of shit, favoring regulars over newbies isn't one of them. I actually tend the lean the other way if anything.
Example of the exact same argument I made two years ago:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_570314/mpage_1/tm.htm
edited to fix the link
|
|
|
|
