RE: Where are the submissive submissives?

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 4:49:06 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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Maybe they've filled their profiles with offputting things in defence against the types who demand unearned submission?
Makes sense to me.

I'm submissive to one. That doesn't mean my profile or my response to unwanted come ons is going to be "Oh yes, great Marster" (okay I do not do a good Igor). It also doesn't mean that I submitted to him first thing. I got an email, I answered it. We talked about everything under the sun. He didn't tell me that I wasn't a twue submissive because of my hard limits. Some he thought were just strange but since he didn't care much one way or the other, it didn't bother him. What he did do was explain he wasn't going to try to force me to do that anyway, but he was really curious about why I had this one. So he asked just to understand why.

Had my limits included stuff he needed, he wouldn't have written to me.

The op seems to think that he gets to determine a sub's limits. Sorry Charlie, not good enough. You don't have or know my history or my health problems. You don't get a vote on it. It isn't up to you to say all subs have to give blow jobs despite the fact that for so many who were abused when young, this is what they had to do, and it sets off flashbacks of the abuse. We don't owe anyone justification. What we do owe is an explanation but only when we are agreeing to get into a relationship with someone. Someone in particular, not the world at large.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 5:33:22 AM

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"Submissive" is a subjective term. Subject to the various viewpoints of T/those using it and their individual wants, needs, desires,etc. Very much like the terms, "Dominant", "Master", "slave", "S/switch", "beautiful", "ugly" and i could go on and on and on....

i, myself, think i'm a healthy mix of each of those things depending upon the company i'm in (i.e., i'm submissive to my Master; Dominant to my teenaged son). But, there is no "all of the above" box on my profile, so i check the next *most* appropriate descriptor in the context of this website and in my life with Master. As profiles go, mine is pretty bland and probably a big disappointment to a good many who come across it (well, except for the pics, apparently). But, i'm happily and proudly owned already, so i don't give a shit.

i'm trying to get somewhere with this...but i've got all of the postings and responses to this thread running 'round in my head and now i'm just confused. i think my point is that bitching about profiles that irk you is rather silly and usually does little more than make the one ranting about them look foolish and rather assinine. If that's the best offering you can bring to an apparent whine-fest...don't expect me to share my cheese.

Peace favor and blessed be.

nikki (aka, housemouse61)
Property of Cruel Desire
(in response to Aslan)*

< Message edited by housemouse61 -- 10/2/2008 5:35:01 AM >

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 6:06:05 AM

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oh wow.. hi Nikki! I didn't realize you were THAT Nikki!! *hug*

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 6:09:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor
If she's MY sub, my word should be gold.

Only after you made it that way. Sorry, but there ain't no free lunch and no such thing as easy money (or subs).

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 6:12:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor
I'm starting to think these girls only say they're submissive because they're to lazy to get on top and ride their Dom like a good little slut.
What do you other Doms and subs think?
~Aslanemperor

I must be a twue submissive cause I love to ride my Sir! And oh yes, I do it like a good little slut should

girly

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 6:22:08 AM

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my S/sistah's here are amazing! LadyLupine, i heart you...

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 6:36:53 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor
Why is it that people can't just read what's said? Why must there be this whole discussion on another topic.
For that matter, why do you think I'm writing just to complain. I'm here to muse. I'm here to share oppinions and discuss thoughts. This is not complaining, it's called discussion.
~Aslanemperor

Because of personal perception. Which is what this whole post is about - that and a cock fight and some don't even have cocks.

On a serious note - people simply do not like it when a person (particularly a dominant) posts about about other peoples profiles and begins with absolutes. Unfortunately your initial post does come across as a true way - having read your other posts I am sure that wasn't you intention but people in general are less than forgiving.

Being a doormat is a touchy subject for many s-types. I have never understood that - I like to be a doormat sometimes - and I know people who are kick ass doormats. What it comes down to is levels - people see levels of submission and doormats are the lowest of the low and the assumption is their is no control on their part and no power. Which of course is bullshit.

People do not like their authority over themselves challenged and that is what this thread is essentially about.

the.dark.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:01:50 AM

ModeratorSixteen

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Everyone keep off the attempts to hijack and away from the personal insults.No more reminders.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:11:17 AM

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quote:

I like to be a doormat sometimes - and I know people who are kick ass doormats.

*waves to the.dark*

I've known a few also and i find them, usually, always welcoming. Always the first to greet you at the door with a warm hello

Yes I do, on occasion, wipe my feet on them but I always dust them off afterward.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:13:37 AM

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And therein lies the problem. For too many people who identify as submissive, the term "doormat" carries too many negative connotations.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:25:49 AM

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most woman who identify as submissive do not act subservient in their daily lives.... it takes a good respectful dom earns the their trust to inspire their submission to them ... you are young yet you indentify as a Master wanting a slave for a TPE relationship.... somehow that makes me think of a toddler who wants to try to run before they have learned to crawl and they tend fall flat on their face... because they are not ready ..they let their enthusiasm get ahead of their ability and experience ..much like you are doing ... the submissive that writes those things in her profile may actually be the wiser one ..knowing they do not have the experience and want to proceed cautiously step by step instead of jumping into a role they are not ready for

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 10/2/2008 7:28:14 AM >

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:27:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

And therein lies the problem. For too many people who identify as submissive, the term "doormat" carries too many negative connotations.

agrees with Bear. I have always felt "doormat" equates to being passive.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:41:28 AM

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For me the issue is that if the Op doesnt like these certain profiles, dont whine about it, just stay away. You cant say someone is not submissive because they dont submit the way you want them too. Perhaps looking for a sub without those boundaries or to seek one that Identifies as a slave.

Perhaps the OP wants all the submissives available to him. Weedling down the list can be very frustrating I'm sure when one realizes there are very few compatible subs in his area. But thats life and life in the lifestyle. That is why so many have expanded their search.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 10/2/2008 7:43:07 AM >

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:43:15 AM

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quote:

I like to be a doormat sometimes

Agree. Even the lowliest of doormats serves a purpose.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 7:48:22 AM

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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor
Why is this site full of "submissives" who put stuff in their profile like, "I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"? I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat. They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat. They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!
What do you other Doms and subs think?

I think this obviously IS about responses you get, because you say specifically this is after you talk to them.
I know quite a few girls and boys who wont act anyway towards someone differently until they are collared and owned, which with or without the doormat stigma makes them "less submissive" in some eyes. Others have no idea what being a doormat even means, they just know everyone says they dont want one, and so they say they arent one. Buzz wrd without an actual concept of what they are saying they arent.
I personally have not had the problem of people being not submissive when they speak with me. It is simple, if they do not wish to act as I find pleasing, they get tossed back in the pond for someone else to fish out. To each their own, they are the perfect fit for someone else, just not for me.

Just sayin
DV

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 8:00:31 AM

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quote:

You have to be submissive to be a submissive.

that might be true for a few people, but not for the majority that this slave has encountered. it's a misconception that this slave used to have as well, but plenty of others have informed her that it is just not the case for them.

for many, the statement above would need to be revamped to look something like this, to be an accurate representation of how they view "being" a submissive:

"I have to be...(pick any or all of the following that apply)
in love
inspired
respected
in a particular headspace
given a certain amount of time to get to know the person
not be seen as a "doormat", or any other object
married to the person
feeling submissive
allowed to dominate from time to time
or any other qualifier that needs to be inplace before I can
...be a submissive"

and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. there are plenty of folks that desire a submissive to have limits and put qualifiers on their submission, on BOTH sides of the slash. they also often report that they enjoy very fulfilling relationships by doing so.

ALL submissives do not have the same motivation, personality, training, desires, responsibilities or talents.

they are unique individuals who submit for a myriad of reasons.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 8:11:43 AM

RCdc

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*waves back to Icarys*
I believe anyone who gets to clean your boots(swoons) in particular, would be blessed

the.dark.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 8:15:33 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

And therein lies the problem. For too many people who identify as submissive, the term "doormat" carries too many negative connotations.

Absolutely bearone I completly agree. I have never understood why on a personal level. If you took the actual item - a doormat - it serves a purpose. Without it, shit get's put all over the place. It's an important item.

the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 8:23:11 AM

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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

And therein lies the problem. For too many people who identify as submissive, the term "doormat" carries too many negative connotations.

a doormat - it serves a purpose. Without it, shit get's put all over the place.

therein lies the negitive aspect for me. Something/one who gets shit on.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/2/2008 8:27:16 AM

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quote:

therein lies the negitive aspect for me. Something/one who gets shit on.

Not all doormats get shit on. Some are well used and gently cleaned up when they get dirty. There are many ways of looking at this. I will submit to things that I do not like (negative to me) for a few reasons, among them - a challenge to me, and/or because in submitting to it I please the dominant, especially if he knows it is something I do not enjoy.

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