quote:

ORIGINAL: SlayerZ

What, you mean the pinching your ass thing wouldn't work? I guess that's where I'm going wrong in my approach. I was under the impression that women, en mass, would melt at the sheer thought of a pinched bottom. I guess that's where I'm going wrong. :p

But I agree with you, it is a blanket lack of respect. Well, that and stupidity and deep ignorance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

It is sad.....it is a lack of respect for ones self as well as for others.  But it is a fact of life, no matter where you go, there will be that one "guy" who comes up, pinches your ass, and thinks that he is "Superman" and every woman will sleep with him.  He is where you work, at your church, at the grocery store...

(Not meant to be a slam on guys in general....just an example). 

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlayerZ

I just think it's sad that subs/slaves feel like they have to underline and punch the fact that being a submissive doesn't equate to being a doormat. I think the very fact that subs/slaves feel like they have to make that very point says more about the standard, the expectation and the sheer manner of Doms that it does about them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

I think way too many people here are WAY too uppety and need to lower the rhetoric down a few notches....on in the case of some subs here, be put over their Doms' knees and receive a good spanking!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What's wrong with that?

It doesn't have that ring of "uberness" some so desperately need.  Me, if I was born anything, it was a domineering asshole.  I had to LEARN to be a loving nurturing dominant and it was, and is, a long slow process, one that I certainly hope I will never be done with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah


fr
 But I am hearing that, because I make that choice for myself and choose who I give my submission to, AND in the mean- while can and do handle myself and my life in a competent self-sufficent manner>> that somehow makes me less of a "true-sub"
  
why is inspiration such a negative suddenly?
and
since when is being inspired by someones confidence and demeanor reduced to being thought of as a competition of sorts or a struggle or a power game.....  Can't inspiration be JUST that? 
   Your persona, preference of authority, demeanor of confidence and enjoying the control in a relationship > SPEAKS to something intrinsic in me and I respond....
  
 
  * before I typed the word "speaks" up there > I struggled with the word to use....wanting to type
   inspires   or   creates   or  touches  
 
  but, because of some of the recent posts and threads,  I felt like those words would be attacked...
   sigh..  why, as a submissive,  is it wrong or less-than natural  to be or feel inspired by the dominant nature of another ??
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat. 

quote:

why is inspiration such a negative suddenly?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
This thread started as a discussion of why there are not "good" submissives, people who actually desire to submit. This wasn't a thread about "give a complete definition of how your dominance/submission works"

Well, I originally decided I wasn't going to post on this thread, because I had to read up to page 5 before I found anyone that I thought understood what the OP was talking about... so many people came in with "I'm a submissive but not YOUR submissive", which I thought had zero to do with the OP, or subs talking disrespectfully, which also had nothing to do with the OP.

If I read it correctly (and lord knows, I could be wrong), this was the gist of it:

Dom:  Your profile says "I'm a submissive, not a doormat", so what does that mean to you?
Sub:  Well, I'm not going to do what my Dom says, because that would make me a doormat, and I'm not going to do what my Dom wants me to just because he wants it, because that would make me a doormat.

So, how exactly is that person a submissive?  The dom has to be in control of SOME part of the relationship, right?  The sub has to give control over to the dom for SOME part of it, right?  As much as we disagree on terms, is that much universally believed to be true?  Or can you be in a D/s relationship as a sub and be the one in control?  Oy, my head hurts just trying to figure out how THAT could be.


Cali

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
I saw someone complaining about what was on subs profiles. He said where are all the submissive submisives? Not I was talking to one and she said blah blah.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor
"I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"?  I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat.  They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat.  They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!

quote:

I'm personally wary of the term because I've experienced mostly bad usages for it when it comes to submission. As in: You don't inspire me so why should i bother being nice.Your not my Master so I don't need to respect you or be polite. So usually as a backdrop for bad behavior and an excuse for attitudes. You don't give respect based on whether you get it or not because it's just as much a good thing for you to give freely as it is for the other to receive it. Just goes with being a decent human being i would think.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub

quote:

I'm personally wary of the term because I've experienced mostly bad usages for it when it comes to submission. As in: You don't inspire me so why should i bother being nice.Your not my Master so I don't need to respect you or be polite. So usually as a backdrop for bad behavior and an excuse for attitudes. You don't give respect based on whether you get it or not because it's just as much a good thing for you to give freely as it is for the other to receive it. Just goes with being a decent human being i would think.

That's a shame, Icarys. I would agree that courtesy and respect does go with being a decent human being. Sir does not inspire me to be submissive - that is my nature - but whether or not I choose to continue a relationship with Him is based on His treatment of me. I always give Him respect, but if I felt like I was not being respected in turn, I would simply leave and find someone worth my time.

To use "inspiration" as an excuse to treat other people in a shoddy manner speaks volumes to the character of the person utilizing it. N.b, this goes for Masters/Sirs as well, not just subs. There's nothing in the rulebook that I can find that states self-identifying as a D-type absolves one from polite, respectful behavior. Hence my distaste for the tone/manner in which the OP has been replying.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
I saw someone complaining about what was on subs profiles. He said where are all the submissive submisives? Not I was talking to one and she said blah blah.

Then I read this part differently than you (and most everyone else, apparently):

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor
"I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"?  I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat.  They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat.  They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!

He sees "not a doormat", asks them what that means (didn't he say that later?  It was kind of difficult wading thru all the people saying they weren't submissive to everyone... I just don't get what the point of that was... anyway... ), and then they say they won't obey, etc. 

That's what I got out of it anyway. 


Cali