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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 6:18:41 AM

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I am a Southern woman, and I prefer not to be addressed as "Ma'am." It always strikes me as a particularly slurred-sounding and lazy contraction (though I understand, of course, that that is not typically the intent of the speaker, and thus would never take offense). I like the unabbreviated "Madam" or "Madame" far better. However, none of those are as appropriate for me as "Miss" (an abbreviation that does not bother me at all).

My darling, on the other hand, likes to be called "Ma'am."

< Message edited by TwoNYCDommes -- 10/9/2008 6:21:06 AM >

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 6:23:35 AM

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As soon as our plane landed in Texas i was fairly sure i had aged 20 yrs (dry cabin air can do that, ya know) because i was addressed as Ma'am by everyone. I never realized how common it is in the south...

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 6:27:16 AM

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Living in Texas Ma'am is used all the time. I always address women as Ma'am. It is a sign of courtsey & respect.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 6:28:51 AM

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Madame4a,

I do have to ask... why did you decide after experience with one American that all of us don't care for it...

a few have actually said they do, including me.. an American more or less...

I've by no means come to a conclusion and if I had, it'd all no doubt be swept away by the next Domme I meet!

I just felt that if a word's used in ordinary parlance frequently, it'll acquire different overtones than if it's used only rarely. As MsScarlett and TermsandConditions have said, inflection is all. The words "Ma'am" and "Sir" are so common, it seems to me, in the South of the USA, that they don't work so well, or are even no-nos, in a D/s context.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 6:41:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

Living in Texas Ma'am is used all the time. I always address women as Ma'am. It is a sign of courtsey & respect.

it is sweet

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 6:58:52 AM

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Face it Holly your a Ma'am.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 7:10:00 AM

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I prefer it pronounced "mum." Just exactly as if you were addressing the queen.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 7:17:42 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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I tend to prefer ma'am for general courtesy -- from the bus-boy to the concierge to an s-type presenting hirself in a new situation. It seems the ideal word choice for general conversation, is not undignified for either recipient (myself) or speaker, and yet recognizes the potential dynamic between us. I am not -from- the south, but I've lived below the Mason-Dixon for the past quarter of a century, and ma'am has been a common courtesy here. It seems less popular with some of the younger ladies I've encountered, and I suspect that that is, in part, because they hear it used for their mothers and don't want to be thought of as 'that old and stodgy', but it is such a common occurrence here that anyone who lives in the south for any length of time, even in these relatively ill-mannered times, still hears it several times a day.

On the other hand, I cringe when someone speaking with me as a subordinate calls me 'dearie'. 'girlie, or 'doll' (yes, I have had submissive men approaching me for a potential relationship address me that way). It just seems particularly undignified to respond to those civilly, and those phrases or their ilk often cause me to dismiss myself abruptly from a conversation in which I have been addressed as such. I -barely- put up with them when I was in training... I would have to grit my teeth and smile (and not a pretty smile, either... one of those ones you see right before a snake strikes), and if they could have felt inside my head, they would have been torched alive by the inferno going on in there. *chuckles*

Calla Firestorm

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 7:22:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Face it Holly your a Ma'am.

i've been called worse

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 7:36:46 AM

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~~FR~~

I was raised in the deep south (Gulf Coast, a block & 1/2 off the beach) and Ma'am is just a way of life. I prefer to be called Ma'am pretty much most of the time. There are some that I allow to call me Goddess, etc..... and at this time, I do not own anyone so Mistress is out of the question, unless it's a pro session.

And once in a while, there comes a person into my life that calls me Ms. Cheryl..... and even just Cheryl. That is a very special person indeed.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 7:38:05 AM

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I used to teach karate, so for me answering to Maam and to Sir (used in reference to me) are both pretty standard. Being in retail, I use Maam for any female customer, and Sir for any male.
In a BDSM context I like Maam for its respectful connotations, more than Mistress since that is terribly over used. The others it depends on the person and the meaning to them.
There is no one size fits all title i like.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 7:58:26 AM

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You will find that this is a matter of personal preference and is probably different for every woman. Even my own preferences have changed over the years. There were times that I could not stand to hear a sub call me "Mistress" in ANY context; now, it depends on the sub - for some, they can pull it off quite nicely, and it's not self indulgent nor robotic, and I find it kind of hot.

For the most part, I like it when a submissive saves the protocol like that for intense, physical, sensual interactions - not in day to day life. That said, I think properly placed use of my first name is just as effective as an honorific, and more personal. It shows attention to detail, and attention to me.

Also, I think different subs look/sound hotter using different types of honorifics, so I might change my requirements based on the man I am with...

Akasha

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 8:42:25 AM

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If I call Diane Ma'am, I get slapped in the head.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 9:03:30 AM

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I was called "my Goddess" once by a walking wet dream with an Italian accent... That was definately hot!! But he called all dominant females "my Goddess"... but it was still hot... lol

On a day to day basis though? It doesn't really matter to me so long as they understand that there are times when "yes Ma'am" is the only appropriate response.

Jewel

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 9:25:56 AM

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I had a slave start to call me Miss and I found I liked that very well. It's always about personal preferences. Besides, Miss rhymes with my name - Miss Chris. Just has a nice ring.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 9:31:09 AM

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Akasha,

You will find that this is a matter of personal preference and is probably different for every woman. Even my own preferences have changed over the years. There were times that I could not stand to hear a sub call me "Mistress" in ANY context; now, it depends on the sub - for some, they can pull it off quite nicely, and it's not self indulgent nor robotic, and I find it kind of hot.

Yes, I can see that. I'd kind of expect that the 'etiquette' (protocol? I don't know if I'm using that word correctly) would evolve between partners. As always, it's the feeling behind it that counts.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 9:34:11 AM

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DiurnalVampire,

I thought a karate instructor was always called Sensei ? If she/he didn't get called that, the offender would get a swift gyaku-mawashi-geri-jodan!

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 9:37:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

On a day to day basis though? It doesn't really matter to me so long as they understand that there are times when "yes Ma'am" is the only appropriate response.

Jewel

I love that!

I had a sub that called me "Mistress" no matter where we were. Since we were rarely together outside of gatherings of kinky people or alone, it wasn't anything I gave a second thought to. Until...we were shopping at the mall. I was in the dressing room and she was getting different things off of the rack for me. Unbeknownst to me, she had enlisted the assistance of one of the sales girls. When I suddenly realized that there was more than one person calling me "Mistress" and asking if I needed anything else, I looked out the door to see my sub, and the sales girl holding armfuls of clothes for me to try on or to be put back. I said "no, thank you, I have everything I need at the moment" and the sales girl replied with "whatever Mistress wants!" and went about putting everything away. My sub stood there with the biggest grin on her face. I went back to that store several times before they closed, and was always addressed by that particular sales person, as Mistress.

I like Mistress, Ma'am, and Miss Tress when in scene, at a club, or private party. In day to day life, I prefer my name or a term of endearment. My new boy sounds so sweet when he says "yes, dear".

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 9:37:52 AM

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Jewel,

On a day to day basis though? It doesn't really matter to me so long as they understand that there are times when "yes Ma'am" is the only appropriate response.

As a rule of the thumb, I think that probably pretty much sums it up for me.

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RE: "Ma'am" - 10/9/2008 9:40:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

Living in Texas Ma'am is used all the time. I always address women as Ma'am. It is a sign of courtsey & respect.

In Texas when i was by myself i was Ma'am. When i was with another female we were Y'all...

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