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YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 10:30:29 AM

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Hello, and thank you in advance for reading and/or responding...

3 years ago I finally discovered that there is a whole lifestyle that seemed to fit best with the way I had been living my life, as a submissive. Yay! I belong somewhere! Was the first thought.
I of course experienced "sub frenzy" read my eyes out, and attended a few munches. Since I have yet to be owned, and do find I am more cautious than not with whom uses my body, and gets into my mind, most of my learning has been from books, and reading material as well as these forums (thanks BTW).
A month ago, I attended a local group, and was blessed to have met an experienced Master, to whom I formally petitioned for training and was accepted. Yay again! Finally time for hands on (and whatever else) experiences.
This said training is not for ownership, it is simply a tool for which I can grow and learn, and I am more than secure in my choice of Masters, with whom I am training under.

Having said all that here is the reason for the post :

There has been only one rule that has been placed upon me in training, the rule is that anyone who would like to have a meet and greet with me, must contact my trainer first.
Would you please share your POV about how you would feel about said situation, if you were to meet a potential and were requested for such contact to be made, before the meeting.
Thank you again for your time
Cheers!
*added note*** Some may say that it is the same as a vanilla "date" *shudders*, for myself it is not... I am not here for vanilla (even ice cream) well, that would depend greatly on where it was placed *WEG*

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 10:34:32 AM

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Many dominants will not want to be dominated by another dominant. Which is basically what you are asking of them. Perhaps when you are ready to make your own choices you can put yourself out there and won't have to filter your choices through another party.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
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(in reply to girlivy)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 10:41:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Many dominants will not want to be dominated by another dominant. Which is basically what you are asking of them. Perhaps when you are ready to make your own choices you can put yourself out there and won't have to filter your choices through another party.

Thank you, for the input Katy, intersting POV there, as I tend to feel that it is more out of a level of respect for this chosen path that I am curently on, and feel if this simple request can or will not be respected, will speak volumes. Humility is a trait I seek in another.

< Message edited by girlivy -- 10/15/2008 10:42:09 AM >

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 10:44:05 AM

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I'd skip right on by you. It's hard enough to make a connection with one person. Now you're asking someone to make a connection with two.

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RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 10:49:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: girlivy
Thank you, for the input Katy, intersting POV there, as I tend to feel that it is more out of a level of respect for this chosen path that I am curently on, and feel if this simple request can or will not be respected, will speak volumes. Humility is a trait I seek in another.

The request may be simple to you, but not so to alot of people. It's like having to go to your father and ask to take you on a date. Not a lot of people I know would be willing to do that, humility or no. Perhaps it would be better to wait until you can stand on your own two feet.

And "level of respect for chosen path"... um, yeah. Alot of people don't give a rat's patootie about your "training path"... why on earth would a man want another man to train the woman he is interested in????

Cali
(who resisted the temptation to ask what the heck he was training you to do)

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to girlivy)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 10:52:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'd skip right on by you. It's hard enough to make a connection with one person. Now you're asking someone to make a connection with two.

Thank you for responding. Never thought of it that way...
The ratio for me has been about 2 to 1 in favor of contacting the trainer first.

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 10:57:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlivy
Thank you, for the input Katy, intersting POV there, as I tend to feel that it is more out of a level of respect for this chosen path that I am curently on, and feel if this simple request can or will not be respected, will speak volumes. Humility is a trait I seek in another.

The request may be simple to you, but not so to alot of people. It's like having to go to your father and ask to take you on a date. Not a lot of people I know would be willing to do that, humility or no. Perhaps it would be better to wait until you can stand on your own two feet.

And "level of respect for chosen path"... um, yeah. Alot of people don't give a rat's patootie about your "training path"... why on earth would a man want another man to train the woman he is interested in????

Cali
(who resisted the temptation to ask what the heck he was training you to do)

Exactly my point, the ones who do not give a "rat's patootie" are quickly weeded out. Caring is another fine trait in a person...

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:02:01 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: girlivy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'd skip right on by you. It's hard enough to make a connection with one person. Now you're asking someone to make a connection with two.

Thank you for responding. Never thought of it that way...
The ratio for me has been about 2 to 1 in favor of contacting the trainer first.

Just out of curiosity then...how many dominants have met the criteria of your trainer and have been passed on to you so that you can start a dialogue with them? Do you really think that someone else can honestly do a better job than yourself in recognizing and knowing what you need? What if that perfect first impression for you wasn't the perfect first impression for your trainer? You'd never know because you'd never hear it.

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RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:07:31 AM

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You must first question the intent of your 'trainer'.

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!!!!!!כי לא נולד הבן זונה שיעצור את ישראל

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:14:00 AM

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From a submissive's standpoint all I can say is that I like the idea. I had a mentor who helped me while I was going through sub-frenzy to not do some of the stupid things I was tempted to do. I realize you aren't going through sub-frenzy but sometimes another person can be helpful if they give good advice. I have friends who give me guidance in all kinds of things. Why not in evaluating the compatibility you might have with another? 'Course I'm coming from a position of having a Dom who first met my best friend on a dating site. My friend thought he'd work better for me, and he has!

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(in reply to girlivy)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:18:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlivy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'd skip right on by you. It's hard enough to make a connection with one person. Now you're asking someone to make a connection with two.

Thank you for responding. Never thought of it that way...
The ratio for me has been about 2 to 1 in favor of contacting the trainer first.

Just out of curiosity then...how many dominants have met the criteria of your trainer and have been passed on to you so that you can start a dialogue with them? Do you really think that someone else can honestly do a better job than yourself in recognizing and knowing what you need? What if that perfect first impression for you wasn't the perfect first impression for your trainer? You'd never know because you'd never hear it.

There is no creiteria put on anyone other than to contact his first. I have free choices and will to speak and converse to anyone, the contact made between trainer and Dom is Only if a meet and greet is decided by the Dom and i to meet.
I do not think anyone in this world can do a better job than myself in making a decision when it comes to my needs. Good point about the first impression, and to add to that, I do understand the trainer can not feel the same chemistry.

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:21:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JewAndCelt

You must first question the intent of your 'trainer'.

Thank you for responding, I have questioned every aspect of the intent. Also I have had time to spend with him and his family first and that we share a lot of the same core values.

< Message edited by girlivy -- 10/15/2008 11:22:36 AM >

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to JewAndCelt)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:25:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

From a submissive's standpoint all I can say is that I like the idea. I had a mentor who helped me while I was going through sub-frenzy to not do some of the stupid things I was tempted to do. I realize you aren't going through sub-frenzy but sometimes another person can be helpful if they give good advice. I have friends who give me guidance in all kinds of things. Why not in evaluating the compatibility you might have with another? 'Course I'm coming from a position of having a Dom who first met my best friend on a dating site. My friend thought he'd work better for me, and he has!

Thank you for your input, and lovely story. I agree it is a blessing to have people in ones life to act as a sounding board at times.
Many blessings to you and your Dom!

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to sublizzie)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:28:24 AM

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Playing the devil's advocate for a minute;

If I was in such a situation where I was "training" someone, I would probably feel that I had some responsibility over the person's well being. As such, I would most likely require that I know about the other person and approve. Would I feel the need to read e-mails or talk with the person directly? No. Though I might feed her questions to ask him/her. I also wouldn't bother "training" anyone that I didn't feel could summarize their conversations and thoughts in an effective manner.

(in reply to girlivy)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:36:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku

Playing the devil's advocate for a minute;

If I was in such a situation where I was "training" someone, I would probably feel that I had some responsibility over the person's well being. As such, I would most likely require that I know about the other person and approve. Would I feel the need to read e-mails or talk with the person directly? No. Though I might feed her questions to ask him/her. I also wouldn't bother "training" anyone that I didn't feel could summarize their conversations and thoughts in an effective manner.

thanks Devil!
edited due to going off topic....

< Message edited by girlivy -- 10/15/2008 11:42:26 AM >

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to Honsoku)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:48:47 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: girlivy
Exactly my point, the ones who do not give a "rat's patootie" are quickly weeded out. Caring is another fine trait in a person...

No, you missed my point. But I don't think you're going to see it anyway. You're 44 years old... I would think the biggest "care" is that you feel you need a gatekeeper.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to girlivy)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 11:57:00 AM

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I would not want a dominant who would agree to go through another dominant to get to me. For a number of reasons.

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 12:07:14 PM

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This seems to be quite a common arrangement. Keep one spare.

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(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 12:09:51 PM

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It's also the damsel in distress who can't make her own decisions. She has to fall back on the good sense of a Man who will protect her rather than relying on her own self. We are talking about adults here, aren't we? . It usually turns out that the person she needs the most protection from is the protector. I always view it as he's just trying to keep other dicks away from his catch.

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RE: YNSHO please on a training clause... - 10/15/2008 12:45:22 PM

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Personally, I don't get it. I do understand that people need to do stuff to make them wet. I understand that it makes their jiggly parts firm, or hard.. but I don't know why they would want a 3rd party to join in on the game.
I didn't tell my dad to pick my boyfriends. They didnt get his approval to ask me out. Maybe it is just me but I really perfer that I choose someone I might be laying down with for the night. And heck.. if I didn't want my father to choose acceptable men when I was 15.. why would I want this now that I am over 40?
Oh yeah.. I know why people do. It makes them wet. For me though, what makes me wet is a man who would not stand for asking someone elses permission.
Kyst

(in reply to Aileen1968)

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