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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 8:52:04 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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1 italian herb and cheese bread
2 chicken breast
3 lettuce
4 tomatoes
5 pickles
6 one line of mayo straight across
7 12" <<< very important

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 9:29:39 AM

badlilthang

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I've never noticed hard rules between us except:

1) Make sure we don't run out of condoms
2) Don't use the cat to clean up spills (But he works so well....)

***looks at my huge maine coon male cat and my pissy little princess female.....um....nope. *L* Less hazardious for my health to use a cloth***

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 9:44:55 AM

GreedyTop

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*snort*

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 10:03:57 AM

Katchoo

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i would classify myself as a new-ish slave, and rules such as CelticLord's list are extremely helpful to me. They help me focus on what i need to be/what i need to be thinking/how i need to act in order to be pleasing to my Sir, which is my goal.

As this post asks about subs, i would endorse MadRabbit's assessment. Working together on your rules forms an expression of mutuality and dynamic that is both beautiful and defining, and as it comes from you both, it is inherently consensual. This is the touchy-feely answer though.

Note that submitting to rules that aren't fun can be a lesson in itself, a growth experience, a chance to demonstrate submission, and a reminder of place.

Discuss how you both view your roles within your D/s relationship and go from there...

"Do not mop with the cat" is likely a good start if the sub is Natassja Kinske

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 10:05:56 AM

lemmebeYourMine

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Lol cats don't make good mops, no matter what their size, attitude or breed, fur is just going to get everywhere, and then the cat will need a bath.

Just my two cents.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 10:08:46 AM

GreedyTop

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*agrees with lemme* my girls are shorthaired.. and my floor is forever covered with mini-me cats... using them as mops would only exacerbate the problem.. *sigh* I wish I could teach them to sweep....

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 10:19:36 AM

sailorfrank

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awww but they are handy with little dusters tied to their tails! My wood floors are so clean!!

Biggest rule for us is Honor and respect and it works both ways!

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 10:52:26 AM

GreedyTop

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yours let you TIE stuff to them??

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 11:01:39 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

Why doesn't anyone ever ask about rules for doms?

lol, I don't really think they want to see that stuff committed to writing.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 11:07:07 AM

Jeffff

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Much like God, our motivations are beyond the understanding of mere submissives

Jeffwey

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 11:07:50 AM

KatyLied

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Mere? I think you need some rules.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 11:10:36 AM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

One of the mistakes I've noticed quite a few new dominants make is the false connection between "having rules = strong authority"

Yep. All the rules in the world won't make someone dominant if they aren't. The more dominant someone is, the fewer rules he or she needs. How about just one? Be considerate.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 11:10:57 AM

Jeffff

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You poor misguided creature. I was confident you would under stand..

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 3:02:47 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

One of the mistakes I've noticed quite a few new dominants make is the false connection between "having rules = strong authority"

Yep. All the rules in the world won't make someone dominant if they aren't. The more dominant someone is, the fewer rules he or she needs. How about just one? Be considerate.

I don't know I necessarily agree with that, but then again I am one of the lone voices on this since I tend to take a more systematic approach to my dominance (I'm one of those guys who's lost in his own little world of plans, rules, strategies, and schedules since I find they are effective tools for accomplishing things in an efficient way).

So basically I find a lot of benefit from rules, protocols, and rituals if they are used practically and reasonably (Apparently, judging from the mockery here in response to what I thought was a pretty reasonable question, other people don't find benefit from them or just don't like them because they aren't "COOL") I don't find them beneficial when they are used arbitrarily or to apply some kind of superficial band-aid to a lack of strong authority.

Does a lot of rules equate to weak dominance in every case? Nah, it can just mean someone has very specific standards and therefore needs a lot of rules to get those standards met.

But...hey...god forbid we implore common sense to make all expectations and standards clear in a nuanced fashion so there is no miscommunication or confusion. That won't be "COOL".

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 3:03:30 PM

tweedydaddy

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One rule only, enjoy yourself!
And hands off my chocolate.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 3:04:04 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Fast reply:

Why doesn't anyone ever ask about rules for doms?

Because some of us come with our own set of rules for ourselves and our own behavior, thus negating the need to ask.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 4:41:02 PM

Venatrix

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Well, the problem with a whole bunch of rules is that it means that the dom/me has to spend a lot more time enforcing them. If he or she has nothing better to do, then that's fine. What the point would be, I've no idea, but that's just me. Fortunately, I have more interesting things to do with my life than constantly police someone's behaviour. The other thing is that having a lot of rules increases the chance of failure for the sub. I prefer to set the parameters so that it's a lot more likely for him to succeed. Guess I'm not very dommely, after all.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 4:50:50 PM

kiwisub12

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My Sirs rules are for his enjoyment, pleasure or convenience - He likes to look at naked girls, hence the get naked as soon as possible rule. He likes to make his subs feel submissive, therefore the asking to use the toilet, the not closing any doors and the serving coffee on a tray. He has his girls spread their legs because he enjoys the view AND it makes the subs aware of their nakedness and hence their submission.

Each of his rules have a purpose if you look at the result. They are not arbitrary or capricious rules in that they enforce the feeling of submission in the sub or slave. And he enjoys the results.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 4:54:39 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Well, the problem with a whole bunch of rules is that it means that the dom/me has to spend a lot more time enforcing them. If he or she has nothing better to do, then that's fine. What the point would be, I've no idea, but that's just me. Fortunately, I have more interesting things to do with my life than constantly police someone's behaviour.

Sure, I imagine there is plenty of relationships out there where the submissive party has no desire or motive to follow the rules and attempts to break them. But in a relationship where two adults are working towards the same goal and not against each other, then rules just provide clear expectations for how someone can be pleasing, thus becoming a constructive tool and not a burden on the dominant.

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RE: Rules for subs - 10/18/2008 4:55:40 PM

VampiresLair

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Fox has very simple rules. Ask permission to get things, leave the room, and hug people.
Get permission before starting an online conversation with someone new, and permission before talking to someone on the phone aside from family and certain friends. (Blanket permission was given for certain people when we met, to keep from having ot answer yes all the time)
And be polite in public, online and real life, unless someone else cops an attitude first. My Fox might be a submissive, but I wont have him being walked on for it. He is allowed to stand up for himself.

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