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RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 3:49:46 AM

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Disclaimer: Devil's Advocate here; I don't really follow the concept of sex as service. I like sex to be a bit romantic and sensual, and calling it service makes it sound more like a transaction. A task to be completed in a laundry list of chores.

I getthe feeling that most people are overthinking this. There is such a thing as sexual service, it's why in bdsm we have the term sex slave. Service in this sense seems to me to refer to the sexual power dynamic. He gives her pleasure, she takes it and in the process he doesn't get his cookie. Maybe afterwards if his performance was pleasing enough. Maybe he's completely chaste. If a massage can be service because it feels good, can't giving an orgasm be service?

I do think the concept rather robs the act of its sensuality and kills any romanticism involved, but the idea isn't as far fetched as many here make it out to be. There are clearly people out there on both sides of the kneel that enjoy the idea.

(in reply to darchChylde)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 4:12:41 AM

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quote:

I do think the concept rather robs the act of its sensuality and kills any romanticism involved, but the idea isn't as far fetched as many here make it out to be. There are clearly people out there on both sides of the kneel that enjoy the idea.

I agree, because sex is more of a spiritual endeavor, than something I can think of in terms duty; this also probably makes me slightly lame to the public playing masses... On the other hand, plenty of folks don't mix D/s and sex, unlike moi. M

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(in reply to CdnExplorer)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 4:18:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
It's only if you shove the sugar UP into the vagina, Lockit---so no douching with the choc, but on the outside....hey!

Absolutely no way I will alllow any food on the essence, so the boy who is with me, had better love it without food type condiments, or he cannot go there. Fortunately, I've never had anyone indicate he wants a different flavor or scent to reside there a while.

M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 4:33:09 AM

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ORIGINAL: khem

Oral servitude ... I start laughing every time I hear this. I get emails from men saying they are into this. When did a very common vanilla sex act become a matter of slave training? Are you kidding me?

This just reeeeeks of "I really want to get laid and get into your pink parts, but I'm gonna dress it up as some sort of slave thing"

Last I checked, very few men had to be "forced" to go down on a woman. Since when did this become a mark of submission ?

I have to say I feel exactly the same way when I get these kinds of emails. I can get someone to give me oral in the vanilla world anytime, if that is all I want. Quite frankly, too much of this, at least to me, is not always a good thing. I tend to get bored if we don't move on & find other things to add to the sexual mix.

These emails are very common & the bulk of what I recieve. And they always receive a reply saying I am not interested.

When I see that line in the email, I take it to mean the same thing as the op does. If I want to train my submissive to give me oral in the way that satisfies me, I will do so. The line feels very much like the submissive in question is telling me that is what he is into, & no matter how he tries to clothe it, it almost always comes across as he is asking me to service him, rather than the other way around.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 4:40:42 AM

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Absolutely, plus it is something that I do with my partner, it's really not BDSM... I understand for some it might be, but for me it isn't

And sorry, any guy who tells me he is into giving me "forced oral service", well I tell him to wait 20 or 30 years, in case I don't look after myself, start boozing, chain smoking and super sizing myself, then this might be the time when I have to "force" a guy to go down on me. Whenever I hear that phrase I simply want to find a rather unattractive bag lady, pay her $20 and really "force" the guy to go down on her, hey, he wants forced oral worship or service, that would make it forced.

(in reply to MissIsis)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 1:09:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan
Hand worship? How does that work??

A woman holds up her hand and a man bows before it. When someone sneezes, the man says, may the hand bless you. At every meal, the man praises the hand before starting the meal. Once a year, the man either gives up something or fasts for sake of the hand. The man recognizes that his sins and good behaviors will be accordingly punished and rewarded by the hand.

You know, stuff like that ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

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the narrowest path is always the holiest.
so walk on barefoot for me,
suffer some misery,
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(in reply to undergroundsea)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 1:20:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Shit... it's not like someone is filling my gas tank.

I am busily trying to think of different situations in which I could use that saying as an innuendo.

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 1:29:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sleuthingsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Shit... it's not like someone is filling my gas tank.

I am busily trying to think of different situations in which I could use that saying as an innuendo.

Hehe... it shouldn't be that hard! There's another for you!

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RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 1:55:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's only if you shove the sugar UP into the vagina, Lockit---so no douching with the choc, but on the outside....hey!

I can kind of see your point with this, since yeasts can live anaerobically. I would still avoid adding an excessive amount of nutrients (the sugar) to that area, since that will disrupt the balance of the microbial ecosystem. Whenever conditions change, you have the chance for opportunistic, nonbeneficial microbes to flourish. However, I'm no expert on microbial dynamics of the vagina. Hmm...that's a field to go into....

Edited because I seem to forget to type 1 word ever 3 sentences.

< Message edited by sleuthingsub -- 10/28/2008 1:58:17 PM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 1:59:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleuthingsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Shit... it's not like someone is filling my gas tank.

I am busily trying to think of different situations in which I could use that saying as an innuendo.

Hehe... it shouldn't be that hard! There's another for you!

Don't make me start quoting the office, haha. It'll only go downhill from there...

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/28/2008 2:40:25 PM

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quote:

sleuthingsub wrote: Edited because I seem to forget to type 1 word ever 3 sentences.

But, since that edit didn't have three whole sentences in it, you only forgot to type one letter.

beeble

(in reply to sleuthingsub)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/29/2008 3:48:51 PM

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From: Australia
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its just a label really who cares as long as it feels good then just do it

jut my 2c

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(in reply to darchChylde)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/29/2008 10:40:39 PM

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D/s is a spiritual/energy thing (indeed, good sex in general is). Almost any physical act can be an expression of submissive sexuality if that reverent energy is flowing. Some acts are more conducive to getting the energy flowing than others, though. Symbolism, turn-on, etc.

I sometimes go into subspace when going down on vanilla women. I find it improves my performance, makes the focus lock in and the passage of time seems to vanish. Everyone seems to enjoy this, it brings the intensity up a level.

Likewise, I can often tell from how a woman goes down on me if she has a submissive streak.

< Message edited by subexploring -- 10/29/2008 10:42:58 PM >

(in reply to sensualslave28)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/29/2008 10:50:59 PM

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OMG...lol... how can you tell if someone has a submissive streak when they give a blow job? lol If they gobble you up... is it dominant? If they shyly or coyly or slowly or gently... come in there and bite the fuck outta you... what is that... or gentle and slow.. is that submissive? I must know this one! lol A good blow job... in my opinion means a whole lot of all sorts of things and I sure as hell wouldn't want my submissive to think I for gods sakes was submitting in said blow job because it would freak his friggin ass out and blow my friggin blow job!

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RE: Oral Servitude - 10/29/2008 10:57:10 PM

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Every time you say westie for a brief moment I think she's talking to her dog? Cause there's a breed of dog called westie's.

lol no offense just a funny lil thought.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Actually, I was just talking to my Westie on the IM's about this thread.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/30/2008 3:55:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CdnExplorer
I don't really follow the concept of sex as service. I like sex to be a bit romantic and sensual, and calling it service makes it sound more like a transaction.

I don't think acts of service and romance and sensuality are mutually exclusive. There is a book that presents five different ways people express affection: physical affirmation, verbal affirmation, spending quality time, gifts, and acts of service. I think cunnilingus has potential to span physical affirmation, spending quality time, and acts of service.

While some posts in this thread ask whether providing oral sex is an act of service, I think the real question is whether oral sex is an act of service that expresses submission.

Let's consider acts of service in general versus this specific act. I think an act of service is that that has one person expend physical or mental energy for the sake of providing comfort, convenience, or pleasure to another (or others) without receiving the same type of comfort, convenience, or gratification in return through this activity. I think such an act is an act of service even if one enjoys providing it.

An act of service may be provided for one or a combination of the following reasons: to express fondness or regard, for joy of pleasing another, for sake of compensation or reward, for recognition, towards ingratiation, or to express or to execute (upon command) submission. If anyone has a different definition for an act of service, and a different explanation for why people like to provide acts of service, I invite you to share the same.

If we accept this definition, in most cases cunnilingus is an act of service; one person expends energy to provide pleasure to another without receiving the same type of pleasure in return from this activity. When a vanilla man provides oral sex to his vanilla lover because he wants to make her feel good, it is an act of service but one that expresses affection rather than submission. When a submissive man provides oral sex to a dominant woman with whom there is not a relationship of lovers but one of power distant statuses, it is, amongst other things, an act of service that expresses submission. There are shades of grey in between the two.

The scenario when it is not an act of service is when the recipient does not enjoy the activity period and accepts it only for sake of the giver. If the recipient generally enjoys receiving cunnilingus but does not enjoy it from a given provider who sees it as an act of service, it is still an act of service but a failed act of service. If a recipient enters into the activity knowing she will not enjoy it from the given recipient and accepts it for his sake, she is providing an act of service. If a provider provides oral sex knowing that the recipient does not enjoy receiving it and is agreeing unenthusiastically for his sake, what he is doing is then not an act of service.

If service comes from different motivations and one of these motivations can be to express submission then it is fair to say that some subs enjoy cunnilingus for its submissive value. Sure, there might be other motivations in addition to expressing submission but that does not remove this motivation.

It is for each person to decide what are their motivations and whether for this person it is an act of service that expresses submission.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to CdnExplorer)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/30/2008 4:00:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I think I know roughly what you'd say. Yet, I got told off by my first ever GF for being "too aggressive a kisser". She told me I had the habit of ramming my tongue (which is weirdly long, admittedly) too far into her mouth.

Well, I was a callow youth of 17 at the time. Still, it somewhat contradicts your comment that I didn't get the same complaint when kissing other areas of her body.

Ahhh.. Now who's being the frelling tease? Damned Limey!

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RE: Oral Servitude - 10/30/2008 4:03:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde
Oral Servitude? I also eat Reece's for someone else's benefit.

No really, Ma'am!!! I honestly don't love chocolate and peanut-butter, whatever You do; i don't want to be tied down and force fed them for Your enjoyment.

For an act to be act of service, one does not have to dislike this act.

quote:

Actually, that's my new argument for cunnilingus not being service; i know that many dommes go down on their boys, so that means they are servicing them, right?

Whether providing a blowjob is service or not depends on why the domme is providing it--it may or may not be service. It is not beyond dominance to do an act of service for a submissive. In such a case the act of service demonstrates affection or appreciation, and not submission.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to darchChylde)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/30/2008 4:14:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Every time you say westie for a brief moment I think she's talking to her dog? Cause there's a breed of dog called westie's.

lol no offense just a funny lil thought.

No offense taken. That's EXACTLY why I call him that.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

RE: Oral Servitude - 10/30/2008 4:24:45 AM

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Back on subject... sort of. I do take my Westie's member any way I want to. Sometimes, that is in my mouth. Trust me, it is not an act of submission when I do it. It's one hell of a tease. What better way to thank my boy for bringing my coffee than to heat my mouth with it, then engulf his penis with that jarringly sweet sensation... then stopping, swatting him on the ass and sending him away? It keeps him alert and attentive all day. Or during electrical play, when his cock and balls are being zapped, that opposite sensation on the head and shaft keep him dancing in that whirlwind of pain and pleasure. It has gotten him to the point where he no longer cries out in pain over the Rimba. He can't wait to put it on!

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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