RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (Full Version)

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FetishRose -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 8:37:20 AM)
Being one of the younger members of the site (I can just barely say I am a 20-something now, hurrah!), I do try not to message anyone whom I feel might be made uncomfortable by my age. Now, I do have a liking for those older than me. For me, attraction has always been about chemistry and genuine liking, not age. There are some GORGEOUS men and women in their 40s, 50s, hell, even 60s (I admit it, I'm a David Bowie fiend...yum!). However, I realize that many of those in these age groups will not be interested in me because I am only 20, so I rarely message them. I usually try to keep my interest to those under 35, but even then I am often 'too young.' I admit, I do prefer it if people have a stated age preference in their profile, since I am a profile reader. If someone is 28, but only interested in 25-35, I won't message them. Simple as that.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 8:38:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MmeGigs quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan Clearly, the 20-somethings think you still look young and fit enough to keep up with them. I don't think that has much to do with it, since I get lots of mail from 20-somethings, too. How is this different? Dominant or submissive, the 20-something thinks you still look young and attractive. It's still a compliment. quote: Instead of whining about it on the boards, you should be taking it as a compliment. You think that it's "creepy" and "EEEWWWW!" to be contacted by someone 17 years older than you, but we should take it as a compliment when we're contacted by someone 25 years or more younger than us? Generally speaking, I don't get offended by an older person contacting me other than the irritation that comes from the failure to read even the first 10 lines of my profile. In fact, I rarely think about it at all. On the few occasions I do, I think it's less creepy and more of a compliment to be contacted by someone younger than to initiate contact with someone younger. So yes, I do think you should take contact from someone younger as a compliment. However, in the event you don't, I still don't see the point of whining about it on the boards.

NuevaVida -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 9:21:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper I know I speak for more than just myself when I say this, so before you bash me for being overly sensitive, be aware there are others who feel as I do, but who've never spoken about it here. It is creepy to me to receive a panting email looking for a D/s relationship from someone so young, I could have graduated college with their mother. It's not just the men who are doing this; although I myself haven't received too many of these type emails from women, others have. I don't have the first clue why you* cannot relate to someone your own age, or what the f*k your deal is, but you should know, some of us find this attention unwanted and even disturbing. So if you are a 20-something and are chasing CM members in your parents' generation, IMO, you need to AT LEAST read your target's profile and if it says the attention is unwanted, respect that. I am NOT judging anyone's relationship, nor am I ascribing this conduct to anyone and everyone in their 20's. I am not suggesting there aren't CM members in my age range here who welcome such emails. What I am saying is that those of you who are in your 20's and are seeking a much, much older partner need to exersize a bit of care, as these emails are seriously creepy to some of us. I don't feel I need to use block features etc. to prevent anyone in their 20's from emailing me....I have FRIENDS of all ages whom I value. My FRIENDS are not trying to get me nakkie. Okay, I spoke my piece. I hope when members who do not share my feelings in the matter respond, they will nonetheless honor my right to feel as I do. candystripper [sm=pole.gif] Let's look at this, "I am NOT judging anyone's relationship..." but "I don't have the first clue why you can't relate to someone your age..." "...what the fuck your deal is..." "...some of us find this attention...even disturbing" "...these emails are seriously creepy" Damn girl, I'd hate to see you actually judging!! The emails you speak of don't bother me. I have two nephews in their 20s and I laugh because I think of them doing something like that - to score with an older woman. It's odd, though, how acceptable it seems to see a 50 year old man with a 20-something woman, but to reverse it is "creepy and disturbing." It's all perception, I guess. Honestly, if you don't like it, slim down your profile and make it unmissable. As for me, I read the age and let them know that's outside my parameters, and I wish them well in their search. "

candystripper -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 9:42:46 AM)
Some women my age obviously do like it, Just. The point is, not ALL. There are also older men who enjoy being found desirable by a young woman, and those who find it unsettling. People are not all the same. I thought probably there was a wide-spread misconception that this attention is always welcome, which is why I wrote the Op. I have to assume this fractures some readers' view of the landscape a bit and possibly the senders of such emails will perhaps pause and reflect a bit. I don't think most really meant to inspire creepiness, and will be adding that to their store of knowldege about older members. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

everhope -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 9:42:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper it seemed to me that alerting the young members to the apparently unknown fact -- that not every member in their parents' generation is comfortable with their advances -- was quite proper subject for an Op here. Well, there's two problems with that. 1. The people that are contacting you on the other side are not likely reading your posts here, so you're just pissing into the wind. 2. If, by some chance, the people contacting you on the other side stumble onto this side, your very-young-looking avatar accompanied by the "stripper pole" emoticon at the end of every one of your messages would lead a reasonable person to think you were much, much younger than you are. Perhaps then, they are so taken with you that they write to you before they tackle your profile. Cali i am wondering why Cali had to state the fucking obvious to a 50 something year old.

Darias -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 9:54:09 AM)
CS nice to see you on the light side of the boards for a change (im used to reading your often interesting and educational posts on the off-topic threads ) ok lets start with this as of a couple of weeks back Im 29. not sure if this includes me in the generic 20 somethings category. i should hope not as i feel im far more mature now than i was 5 or even 3 years ago. regardless of whether or not im included i thought id share my thoughts on this topic. does age anymore than appearance mean so much to us in the D/s world? personally ive always felt that experience and compatability were bigger requirements for working D/s relationships than any other considerations. after all we are a minorty in respect to the mainstream world? should we compartmentalise ourselves into smaller groups based on age and appearance aswell as the divisions we already have? not everyone shares the same kinks. some prefer ropework some wax or fire play. some financial control etc.... where is the sense in splitting these already small groups into smaller ones by age? what are the odds of me finding a 25 to 30 year old switch with an interest in ropes humiliation and floggers? will that person be ok with the fact that im Bi and considering my thoughts on poly? in my youth before i hit the twenty somethings group i had occasion to be in several relationships with older women. one in particular comes to mind a woman who not only endeared in me several theorys on sex that i never would have gleamed from the playboy channel but also introduced me to the wonderfull worlld of BDSM. without her i doubt id be here to share my thoughts. which i guess boil down to this. for goddess sake lets not segregate an already small and fractured comunity even more by setting age boundries . you have to be this tall to ride the dodgems is undoubtably a disastorous road to take for us Each of us must make our own choices on this. for the OP i can only assume that choice is to stick with her own age gap. her choice i respect if not agree with. but for me i shall seek out the O/one who will help complete my life no matter what age,physical appearance, location, job discrption, financial state, political leanings, music tastes, skin colour, television preferences , obscure collectables tastes or hair colour thank you for reading Darias p.s. if anyone knows a goth asian 30 year old switch who likes film noir and paranormal TV , has tattoos piercings , a trust fund , supports the democrats, likes P!nk , collects living dead dolls and loves irish accents PLEASE let me know

GreedyTop -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 10:09:03 AM)
it got moved here from general discussion, Darias

Darias -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 10:10:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop it got moved here from general discussion, Darias welcome to the P&ORS section.... gee can i delete my last post since its so serious and will ruin my rep on this side of the fence

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 10:14:00 AM)
set your mail settings to the desired age range....problem solved.

candystripper -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 10:35:41 AM)
Happy birthday, Darias. Basically the only one who can decide what standards to adopt inside or outiside of D/s is the only one you control -- yourself. Sure, I've had conformist views foisted on me by others and have accepted them as my own for a long, long time. I think most everyone goes through a process wherein they give up their views they had in high school, then those from college, and so on, as they are exposed to more people and find their own way. As it happens, this wasn't one of them. I would have been shocked to my shoes to come across any of the guys I hung with back when I was 20 involved with a woman 50 years old. Hell, when I was 20, I didn't really think anyone over 30 still had sex, lol. I think I secretly believed we had invented sex...at least great sex, he he. There are no barriers up preventing anyone from entering my life as a friend based on something external such as age. Who I want in my bed is another matter. There's not a lot that can be done to rewire who we are attracted to and who we never, ever want to see laying next to us. I would not find a 29 year old man sexually desirable. Not in the sense that I'd want to check out a potential relationship with him. Can I appreciate a man's sexiness at 29? O sure! I know a handful I think are really smokin'., and doubtless there are many, many more. I think most people look their best at around age 20 or so, men as well as women. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 10:40:45 AM)
quote: I think most people look their best at around age 20 or so, men as well as women. im almost 40 and i think i look my best now....so much that anyone who meet me in person or i talk to at a store or some place public...thinks im 25. when i was 25 i was fat as hell (200lbs which is HUGE for me) and not very appealing at all.

candystripper -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 10:54:36 AM)
I never noticed you were close to 40, faery. Judging from your photo, I've always thought you were especially lovely and about 19 or so. There's something Audrey Hepburn-esque about your photo to me. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

Daddysredhead -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 11:57:45 AM)
I'm still looking for the information about the phones... [8\|]

persephonee -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 12:05:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Frequently, age inequities are perceived to enhance power inequities in relationships. John Oh my goodness, i have been in agreement with you for literally years...and never had it explained so succinctly til just this second. Seriously, thank you, John. sincerely perse

persephonee -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 12:10:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darias CS nice to see you on the light side of the boards for a change (im used to reading your often interesting and educational posts on the off-topic threads ) ok lets start with this as of a couple of weeks back Im 29. not sure if this includes me in the generic 20 somethings category. i should hope not as i feel im far more mature now than i was 5 or even 3 years ago. regardless of whether or not im included i thought id share my thoughts on this topic. does age anymore than appearance mean so much to us in the D/s world? personally ive always felt that experience and compatability were bigger requirements for working D/s relationships than any other considerations. after all we are a minorty in respect to the mainstream world? should we compartmentalise ourselves into smaller groups based on age and appearance aswell as the divisions we already have? not everyone shares the same kinks. some prefer ropework some wax or fire play. some financial control etc.... where is the sense in splitting these already small groups into smaller ones by age? what are the odds of me finding a 25 to 30 year old switch with an interest in ropes humiliation and floggers? will that person be ok with the fact that im Bi and considering my thoughts on poly? in my youth before i hit the twenty somethings group i had occasion to be in several relationships with older women. one in particular comes to mind a woman who not only endeared in me several theorys on sex that i never would have gleamed from the playboy channel but also introduced me to the wonderfull worlld of BDSM. without her i doubt id be here to share my thoughts. which i guess boil down to this. for goddess sake lets not segregate an already small and fractured comunity even more by setting age boundries . you have to be this tall to ride the dodgems is undoubtably a disastorous road to take for us Each of us must make our own choices on this. for the OP i can only assume that choice is to stick with her own age gap. her choice i respect if not agree with. but for me i shall seek out the O/one who will help complete my life no matter what age,physical appearance, location, job discrption, financial state, political leanings, music tastes, skin colour, television preferences , obscure collectables tastes or hair colour thank you for reading Darias p.s. if anyone knows a goth asian 30 year old switch who likes film noir and paranormal TV , has tattoos piercings , a trust fund , supports the democrats, likes P!nk , collects living dead dolls and loves irish accents PLEASE let me know Dear Darias, works frantically to become goth, asian, switchy,get more piercings,and money...finding out what the hell a living dead doll even is.... [sm=wave.gif]pick me pick me pick meeeeee!!!!!!!!!

NuevaVida -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 12:53:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead I'm still looking for the information about the phones... [8\|] LOL DRH, I wondered the same!

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 1:27:24 PM)
I have no personal interest in a 20 something partner. I'm sill trying to kick my 20 somethings outa the nest. Last thing I want is another one. I will simply never look at a guy my son's age and see a sexual partner. Ok, there was that ONE young guy, but in my defense he was 6'2", 250lbs and had a full beard. The point is, knowing 20 somethings as I do, I don't fault them for being 20, young and horny. I don't fault them for going for the gusto either. Nor am I surprised when they attempt it. Especially when they aren't forewarned by a disclaimer in the profile. Getting riled up because a horn toad is acting like a horn toad really isn't very productive or even self-serving. Might as well shake your fist at the wind, you'll get as much accomplished. I set my email properties to send anyone under 30, over 60 something and out of the US to my spam box. Unfortunately, it sends people from this side that I would have liked to speak to who have written me but didn' fall within the parameters I'd set, so I know it isn't an ideal fix but if you don't want anyone under 40 contacting you, then you won't miss the mail you never see. Unless you are not looking for a fix, and just want to rant. S'all good. WinD

SL4V3M4YB3 -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 1:36:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper I know I speak for more than just myself when I say this, so before you bash me for being overly sensitive, be aware there are others who feel as I do, but who've never spoken about it here. ...... Okay, I spoke my piece. I hope when members who do not share my feelings in the matter respond, they will nonetheless honor my right to feel as I do. candystripper [sm=pole.gif] I know they say you can't teach old dogs new tricks but have you looked into setting the age controls on your mail settings?[8\|]

candystripper -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 2:01:32 PM)
I guess some you missed this in the OP: _____________________________________________________ I don't feel I need to use block features etc. to prevent anyone in their 20's from emailing me....I have FRIENDS of all ages whom I value. My FRIENDS are not trying to get me nakkie. _____________________________________________________ So thanks, but no thanks, for all the kind offers to wave a magic wand and make my problem* disappear. I'm here as much for the friendships as for the desire to be collared.* Basically, I'm not willing to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I figure some people will learn that not all older members find sexaul overtures from the young members palatable, and that's all I hoped the Op would accomplish. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

camille65 -> RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings (11/2/2008 2:06:39 PM)
If its not a problem you want fixed then why did you start this thread? I see it as something pretty basic, you don't like a certain group contacting you for a certain reason. Therefore screen your mail.

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