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RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 4:49:33 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		You have needs too, duh, it's NOT all about him. If you want to do it, do it, but don't go camming for him with the expectation that he'll owe you anything later, because my bet is, he won't pay up.

Personally he sounds like a married wanker who has no intention of actually wanting to meet YOU he just wants to jerk off and get a thrill without having to give up anything on his own part. Or an unmarried wanker for that matter, but a wanker none the less.

(in reply to Tsuriai)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 4:50:50 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


well i know he is who he says he is..i've seen him on cam....he's actually fairly good looking


::shakes head::


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 4:51:46 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Whether he's serious about meeting or not, the way he's going about it is wrong. Tell him to put up or shut up. His terms seem to be him wanting to wank off. No phone call but text messages to say he's horny? PLEASE

Minor suggestion, if you want ot weed out wankers like him I'd put up, perhaps a better pic. The pose and breasts attract wankers, as you have here who just wants webcam shows. I'd also fill out the profile a bit. You're 18, attractive and a woman; you hold the power until you decide to give it up. There are more men out there than women in this life so really I would say things are on YOUR terms until you find the right guy to submit to.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 4:52:16 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

To the Op:

If you are going to play online (meaning if you are going to use online places like this and/or chatrooms to find MEn and what you believe you want) you need to establish rules for yourself and not let people try and guilt you or fear you into changing those rules or allow them to use "prove your submission" when they have never met you ot hell even spoken to you on the phone.  For instance, if you want to talk on the phone before camming with people, then remain firm on that, if you want to meet before doing sexual things on cam, stay firm with it.  This to me isn't about him being dom or you being sub and your showing your submission.  You are not obligated to prove your submission online and you sure the heck shouldn't make a practice of same, especially since you do want to take this offline with people.

Since you are not his, you have not only a right but an obligation to set your own standards and expectations of the people you will meet online.  Stand firm on your "rules" you set for yourself. 

If you set low standards for yourself or are easily lead away from your expectations of conduct, i.e., meeting before doing sexual things on cam etc., you may end up finding yourself in situation you won't enjoy and may find yourself a focus of onliners only because your expectations are so low, instead of Men looking for the same thing you are.  Find what's important to you to reach the goals you want as a reason you are here and stick with that focus.

angel


That's actually a really good piece of advice, you more than right. Thank you.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 4:54:43 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:


well i know he is who he says he is..i've seen him on cam....he's actually fairly good looking


::shakes head::


I was just saying I know he's not fake in the way people are thinking he might be a 40 year old man, in no way am i missing the main point though. He's a dope i'm going to just tell him to fuck off.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 4:56:29 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Look, you're 18 years old, you have a beautiful, sexy pic that shows the promise of seeing oh-so-much-more.  He is either a kid, or living in mommy's basement, or an old geezer, or married, or has no social skills, or no teeth, or... you get the picture. 

If he was who he says he is, then he would be falling all over himself to meet you on ANY TERMS.


Cali


Amen!

Speaking personally, if it were me... I would most definitely want to meet in person.  I've never put off meeting someone I was seriously interested in and usually the problem I encounter is the submissive being reluctant.  This person does not sound like he's being honest with you, and I think Cali has probably guess correctly about him... he's not who he claims.  Consider that carefully and in the future, try not to let what you want cloud your judgement when you need to see what is.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 4:59:04 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		I find that submissives often do things that they don't really want to do, in order to "prove" their submissiveness to a Dom.

I would recommend that you approach a first encounter with this, or any other, Dom, as you would a vanilla man. If a guy from match.com or some other dating site asked you to masturbate in front of the cam, my guess is that you'd never think twice about refusing him. No man -- Dom or otherwise -- at this stage of the relationship should coerce you to do something you don't want to do until or unless you have a relationship with him and you're both in agreement about things that you will and won't do.

Just my .02.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:03:41 PM   
Constrictor1


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline 		It does not matter which side of the slash you are on or whether you are a lifestyer or vanilla: Trust is earned not granted  by leaps and bounds. If someone does not prove themselves worthy of your trust, then do not trust them.

Constrictor1

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:09:01 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I believe a dominant should have a thing or two to prove to YOU before they expect you to prove anything to them.  Until you are more experienced with all this online stuff, you might want to hold off on any cam, any d/s or even meeting anyone.  If something like this shakes you and you don't know what to do, you need to be a bit more seasoned in the ways some of these people will con you or you could place yourself in danger, even if it is only emotional hurt.

You have what these guys want and if you are not very firm and know what is up, you are going to be taken advantage of.  You are in a sense an easy mark.  You may feel comfortable here and have friends or are seeing people you like or think are the 'good guys' but believe me, most of the people out there are not the 'good guys' and you need to understand the way of things.

There are those that will come to a site like this and have no interest in bdsm and just figure they can find a submissive gal who will do anything they tell them to do simply because they tell her to do it.  They say a couple pretty words and some fall right in line.  Don't be one of those!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:09:16 PM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		The guy is an idiot. A pretty sub in his city says she wants to meet him for coffee (or whatever) and he's putting up road blocks? An idiot.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:10:36 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		If you ever feel the need to rub one out on cam for some pervert.. I am volunteering.

In the mean time, be a tad bit choosy.

C-D

< Message edited by CruelDesires -- 11/2/2008 5:21:22 PM >

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:12:50 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah im just so tired of it.
Another guy who i met on here...i totally fell for him...he wouldn't change his cm profile to being taken saying that i need to turst him.
So i made a fake account and he went along and said he had no sub. and what i told him about him he got really defensive and said he knew it was me and all this shit blah blah.
And i messaged one of his friends and  on his cm list to see if he was lying and he was he said that he met her and they had coffee a few times and he just decided to be frineds and i messaged her and she said that they never met! and then he found out and said i invaded his privacy and i had no right.
oh my fucking god....I'm just so tired of this stuff i want someone to just be loyal and truthfull for once.

(in reply to UncleNasty)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:14:53 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

If you ever feel the need to rub on out on cam for some pervert.. I am volunteering.

In the mean time, be a tad bit choosy.

C-D


lol at least you admit what you are truly after...kudos for that!

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:18:52 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Sure, sexy type pictures will draw attention, but changing your picture is no gaurentee of not getting wankers, when I was single and looking I had the most vannila'st picture you could post, and I still got wankers.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako



Minor suggestion, if you want ot weed out wankers like him I'd put up, perhaps a better pic. The pose and breasts attract wankers, as you have here who just wants webcam shows.

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:20:34 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		First off you are only 18. Look at finding a Dom the same as getting to know someone on any other dating site. This is a free site and there are many real Doms who won't request you undress and perform for them before they meet you. Take your time talking with several and don't get so caught up in finding someone to love you. It may take some time to find someone just as does in the real world. You might look and see if there any munches in the area you live and get out and meet and observe folks. As well, I know there have been some good advice on older posts so searching the boards may help with finding others who have been in a similar situation.
 
All the best in your journey. Have fun and be safe. 

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:20:41 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It looks to me like you are looking for love and because of this thread, you could get every kind of mentor dom coming at you like never before.  Some might be okay and actually might not be a bad idea, but you know, if I were you, I would hook up with some of the other submissive women and sit back and watch and learn a bit.  I keep thinking of my daughter and what I would do in this situation.  That computer would be outta there in a heartbeat and I would be doing some real serious mom talk and lovin up.  Do think about all this.  Pretty words mean nothing until a person follows them up with real actions.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:23:02 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

oh my fucking god....I'm just so tired of this stuff i want someone to just be loyal and truthfull for once.  



Then I would suggest being loyal and truthful to yourself.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:23:22 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

It looks to me like you are looking for love and because of this thread, you could get every kind of mentor dom coming at you like never before.  Some might be okay and actually might not be a bad idea, but you know, if I were you, I would hook up with some of the other submissive women and sit back and watch and learn a bit.  I keep thinking of my daughter and what I would do in this situation.  That computer would be outta there in a heartbeat and I would be doing some real serious mom talk and lovin up.  Do think about all this.  Pretty words mean nothing until a person follows them up with real actions.



haha...yaa well my mother died and my dad is utterly clueless...i kinda do what i want by my own...i usually have good common sense so idk.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:24:56 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

It looks to me like you are looking for love and because of this thread, you could get every kind of mentor dom coming at you like never before.  Some might be okay and actually might not be a bad idea, but you know, if I were you, I would hook up with some of the other submissive women and sit back and watch and learn a bit.  I keep thinking of my daughter and what I would do in this situation.  That computer would be outta there in a heartbeat and I would be doing some real serious mom talk and lovin up.  Do think about all this.  Pretty words mean nothing until a person follows them up with real actions.



haha...yaa well my mother died and my dad is utterly clueless...i kinda do what i want by my own...i usually have good common sense so idk.



I can tell.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Confused, need advice. - 11/2/2008 5:26:30 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

It looks to me like you are looking for love and because of this thread, you could get every kind of mentor dom coming at you like never before.  Some might be okay and actually might not be a bad idea, but you know, if I were you, I would hook up with some of the other submissive women and sit back and watch and learn a bit.  I keep thinking of my daughter and what I would do in this situation.  That computer would be outta there in a heartbeat and I would be doing some real serious mom talk and lovin up.  Do think about all this.  Pretty words mean nothing until a person follows them up with real actions.



haha...yaa well my mother died and my dad is utterly clueless...i kinda do what i want by my own...i usually have good common sense so idk.



I can tell.


lollllll yup

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 40
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