RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party.

RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (Full Version)

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thishereboi -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 3:34:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi Just about every event I have ever attended had a meet and greet. They were always a lot of fun and I met a lot of really great people. Now why would I pay extra for something they already have? Are the dominants going to be extra special at these functions? From what I'm gathering from the original, part of the idea is to specifically allow an introduction of singles on both sides of the kneel who are actually looking. I'll grant you that meet and greets are wonderful, but at the same time, most don't cater only to those who are not in relationships. At a major event where a large number of people attend, it's not like people have "taken" or "looking" stamped on their forehead so everyone knows their relationship status. A dedicated block of time in one of the presentation rooms could be used for just such a purpose. If there was a high response to the idea, it might take that room for a significant length of time at the event, with extra help to organize and run such a thing (so those shy folks don't get left out), so I suggested a cost be included. By reading some of the responses to the thread, I'm painfully aware that some have felt offended by the idea as it was presented. I'm not coming to the question from that light. What I'm looking at is might this be a way for single people in the lifestyle to meet potentials. Yes, you're right. I guess I am looking at this as the kinky version of why someone would use match.com vs. a very high end service, like Great Expectations (if they are still around) - where you are targeting people who are VERY serious about entering into a relationship, not a fling, and who are willing to pay money. For the femdoms, this shaves right off the top the very high percentage of men (any dare to guess?) that really don't want to invest anything - time OR money - into anything. With a very aggressive screening process to ensure the men are real (and the women, too), it could be stated that it would be highly unlikely the ladies would not be coupled as a result. I'm a little surprised that the men here are so boldly able to say $100 is not worth it (especially the ones that are complaining about being single and there being no femdoms around) unless they GET SOMETHING in return. Why not strive to be the top percent and take advantage that if 5 very single, relationship-minded femdoms are in one place, it's a great chance to make a possible connection for life? It was just an interesting idea. As I said in the OP, I'm happily married, so I don't have any reason to consider it. I'll also admit there's a selfish reason to think that it would be SO much fun to have 5 - 10 femdoms together for a weekend long slumber party. It was a creative way to make that happen - financially - that got my wheels turning. I thought for all the single men who are willing to pay $300/hour for a session, or $3 a minute for phone sex, or $50 paypal to a random stranger on collarme, surely there would be a few willing to pay $100 to be connected with a potential longterm mate. I guess the secondary question would be this. If there were a femdom version of something like "Great Expectations" - with INTENSE screening and matchmaking - would you pay $2000 to be connected with ONE femdom who was aggressively screened to be a fit for you? I can't recall, but I thought GE charged something like $1,000 for their services. When I had heard about that it was ages ago and on a TV news show so I'm not sure. I know the very high end executive matchmaking services charge in the thousands. Akasha If you could guarantee that Lucy Lawless would show up and pick me I MIGHT consider shelling out some cash, but I doubt that is going to happen. So no, I would not pay 2000 to connect with anyone. Maybe I am old fashioned, but paying to find a mate just doesn't cut it for me. I will stick to meeting people the old fashioned way. Now the slumber party does sound like a lot of fun, but I would rather do it with freinds who want to be with me because I am such an awesome person and not because I paid to get in.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 3:37:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi . Now the slumber party does sound like a lot of fun, but I would rather do it with freinds who want to be with me because I am such an awesome person and not because I paid to get in. Excellent! Let's have it at Helen's! [:D]

thishereboi -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 3:41:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi . Now the slumber party does sound like a lot of fun, but I would rather do it with freinds who want to be with me because I am such an awesome person and not because I paid to get in. Excellent! Let's have it at Helen's! [:D] wooo hooooo PARTY [sm=alien.gif]

CdnExplorer -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 3:46:14 PM)
I guess that's the thing for me...not once have I ever had a good date with someone I have never met before. If I have had such a low success rate at picking out women who interest me in online dating, then how much chance does someone else have in succeeding where I failed?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 3:52:38 PM)
When you say "someone you have never met before", do you mean someone that you met online, or a blind date that someone set you up with? I hardly ever date, so I wonder if there is some kind of correlation to be made, between dates from the internets and those from elsewhere. Being alone with someone for a few hours can be madly different from chatting with them in a bar or something.

CdnExplorer -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 4:03:45 PM)
I do mean someone that I've met online. I've found that I can talk to someone online for weeks and not get the faintest clue about whether or not there will be chemistry, until the day that we actually meet face to face. I've experienced enough cases of having really liked chatting with someone only to find out later that I'm not interested, that I almost have a rule about meeting within a short timeframe. If after two weeks we haven't met face to face I have a very difficult time believing that I'm not wasting my time. It seems that the longer that "online only" period lasts, the lower the chance there will be for chemistry. Edit: I do feel I should probably point out that this is all from my time trying to do the vanilla dating thing. As I've discovered that Dominance is an absolutely required character trait for me to have even more than the slightest interest in someone, so my experience with that may be extremely skewed. I really have no experience with dating through CM or other bdsm oriented sites. There is only one Domme in my entire region that holds any interest for me, and we met at a party.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 4:06:20 PM)
Interesting. I do go to a realtime meet as fast as possible, it's true. If they're interested, they're interested.

sleuthingsub -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 5:12:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: sleuthingsub The problem with this scheme is that you are attempting to overcome extensively evolved biological programming. You are asking men to lose resources (money, time of the application) with no guarantee of any benefit. Moreover, you are telling them that they have a high chance of directly donating their resources to their competitors, other submissive men. This is not a winning reproductive strategy, and so the instinct for men is to not participate in such an event. Just look at the responses from the men so far. They all pretty much feel like the risk/reward ration isn't worth it, and that they are being exploited. You need to think of a strategy that exploits our evolution, not works against it. A modified version might work. The general outline of the idea is interesting though. I am loving this post! I am going to venture out of the box here and say that the majority of modern men are NOT run by their biological imperatives. You'll grow out of this kind of thinking when you graduate, honest. [:)] (no offense intended, either, I have four degrees myself and am speaking from experience). That said, why do you think that the ratio is skewed, and that the men in attendance would be offering up resources to the other men? They would be competing, certainly, but no more so than they would be in any other venue. Why would that competition be only on the male side? In my mind, both orientations are predators and prey in this scenario. Would the women not be competing for the atttentions of the same men? Is it not likely that one or two of the men would be desired by one or more or ALL of the women? Without risk there is no reward. I'm sure I heard that somewhere before. It seems to me that this scenario is a lot closer to a sure thing than the average bdsm event! As to men feeling "exploited"... well, let me just thank you for that laugh! I adore irony. When I say exploited, I'm using the evolutionary definition, not the bdsm one, haha. It's nonconcensual. I'm not quite sure what kind of thinking I'm supposed to outgrow. Looking at life scientifically? I can't see that happening. But who knows. Anyway, you mention you have a lot of education, so for now I'll assume you have some type of background in biology. If humans are not deeply influenced by their years of evolutionary programming, what is your counter arguement? I will agree with you though, that even among evolutionary scientists, there is a lot of debate about the extent to which our biological programming drives our actions. However, it's not either/or as you seem to imply (unless I'm misreading this). Sure humans have society and culture, which influences a lot of our actions. But there are very basic, core principles which are easily explained by genetics and evolution. In Akasha's example, 100 or more men are paying an upfront cost with the chance that 10% or less will be chosen to even meet with the 5 dommes. So that right there means that the losers are donating their resources to their competition. Not a very smart strategy. The problem with your comparison to other venues in which this competition is occuring is that there is no upfront, highly risky cost. I do not pay 100 dollars when I go to a social event and mingle with 20 females. Since I am looking for a relationship with bdsm, establishing compatibility on the relationship level is something I can feel out for free. If I do this a few times, I have a far higher chance of meeting someone I'm compatibile with who also shares an interest in bdsm. There's no garuntee that any of the subs and dommes will be compatible. Also, even among the 10 selected subs, they are still competing for the 5 dommes. The likelyhood of all 5 women liking the same sub is rare, since these same 5 women presumably already picked the applicants they were interested. Also, I never said there was no risk in life. What I tried to point out is that those who consistantly take "smart" risks are going to do better than those who don't. Over time, these traits will become dominant in the gene pool. Akasha is not harnessing the product of evolution in the correct manner. One final point about the bdsm event: you are paying for more than just a 10 percent chance of meeting 5 dommes. There are classes, tons of networking opportunities, parties, and other services. And when you pay the money, you are garunteed those services. In my eyes, that's a lot different. I apologize if my response seems muddled. It's a little late, and I'm in need of a bit of sleep. :)

OneMoreWaste -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/1/2008 5:35:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I'm a little surprised that the men here are so boldly able to say $100 is not worth it (especially the ones that are complaining about being single and there being no femdoms around) unless they GET SOMETHING in return. Why not strive to be the top percent and take advantage that if 5 very single, relationship-minded femdoms are in one place, it's a great chance to make a possible connection for life? It was just an interesting idea. As I said in the OP, I'm happily married, so I don't have any reason to consider it. Most people want to get something for their money. If they don't, they're welcome to send it to me [:)] I'm not seeing the advantage of such a pay-to-meet event over attending a munch (even if you're 300 miles from the nearest city like I am, that's still 4 trips). And I wonder- if each FemDom is meeting 100 men in a weekend, how would one decide on one's place in line? Would it be best to get an early spot, while the process is still exciting and She isn't worn out and bored, or at the end of the line, based on the idea that the most recently encountered option has an advantage (recency effect)? To be certain, you would have to be a major standout to make an impression from spot number 66. Would the first and last spots in line for each FemDom be auctioned off? [:-] quote: I guess the secondary question would be this. If there were a femdom version of something like "Great Expectations" - with INTENSE screening and matchmaking - would you pay $2000 to be connected with ONE femdom who was aggressively screened to be a fit for you? Maybe I'm just jaded, but no. Way too scammy. Since guys like me are less than a dime a dozen, I would have serious doubts about the motivations of any woman who would use such a service.

stella41b -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/2/2008 8:54:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I am talking about getting single, relationship-minded femdoms in one location so that potential submissive partners could interact with them with the ultimate goal of coupling for the longterm. The challenge, financially, is getting the women to one single location. From a financial standpoint, if men are willing to pay $20 and women get in free to a singles bar, for example (without the guarntee they get laid for that $20), the same principles could apply on a larger scale for those men looking to meet not one, but multiple eligible women at a single venue. The men pool their resources to allow the women to get to a single location. And I think when you get multiple femdoms in a room together, they feed off each other. That's a party in itself. Akasha If it was that easy, then the Internet dating would have a far greater degree of success but as we can see it is as it all is. Certain things here don't make sense. First thing, this false premise based on male submissives far outnumbering female dominants and the rather unattractive skewed inference I'm picking up that femdoms are 'relationship-minded' but it would appear that the male submissives are no more like cattle at a market. Therefore the whole premise appears to be based on generalizations and stereotypes to begin with. You see, all those female dominants and all those male submissives are not the same generic examples of humanity - all have individual pasts, characters, personalities, experiences, issues, individual combinations of kinks, fetishes, interests, and these all make these people highly individual. The thinking that male submissives far outweigh female dominants is ridiculous and meaningless given that the first and foremost thing that everybody seeks in a relationship is compatibility with that other person. You're expecting too much from the female dominants.. to be able to select, choose, and commit to a long term relationship on the basis on one single event? You seem to think that a D/s relationship is like filling a vacancy or holding down a job. I see nothing in common between a position or job or a D/s relationship, nothing at all. Besides, most male submissives are just as 'relationship-minded' as female dominants, they just tend to approach relationships differently. Another false premise is that you need to have a certain level of income or have a certain amount of money to have a quality D/s relationship. I think that's quite short-sighted and even offensive to people such as a few of the fine dommes here posting and others who might find themselves on welfare, disability or unemployment. The same can be said of some of the submissives. Just because you have money or are successful doesn't guarantee you have good relationship skills. I write from the perspective of previously being someone accepted into the upper echelons of Polish society and I have played - together with my former domme - with some quite wealthy and successful people from the media, politics, the film industry and corporate boardroom. Some of the rudest, most boorish people and also some of the thickest have annual incomes in hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'm not a businesswoman, I'm an artist, but this much I know and that's unless you know your target audience or client base and know exactly what their prioritized needs are no event or business idea is going to fly until you have that knowledge to be able to sell the idea to other people. However kudos to you for having the idea, sharing it with us and for trying. The sentiment behind that idea is an honourable one.

undergroundsea -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/3/2008 9:26:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I saw Akasha's OP as a kind of meet and greet in person, like a match.com thing. A meet and greet is a fine idea. I did not see the OP to suggest a meet and greet. A meet and greet is a get together where people chat to socialize and get to know each other, and let matters proceed organically. I have not heard of a meet and greet where people send in an application with a fee, and then some people are invited to in fact meet and greet to then use the money raised to go on a retreat. Here I sense the idea began with an interest in having a weekend slumber party with other dommes. Then perhaps came the question for where to host it. Then perhaps came the question for how to fund it. Then perhaps came the application fee and a reality-TV like competition and, frankly, this idea is what inspired my comment about a ratio-based arrogance. quote: It's often the case at bdsm events that single males pay more for entry than single females, so why that is such an issue, I am not sure. What you describe might be the case at clubs like Paddles or the like, which I can understand. Almost all BDSM Events I have attended have a uniform fee. In any case, places that do have different amounts likely do it to have a more even ratio. Here the fee is not to have a more even ratio but to fund a retreat, which is why I do not see it the same as what you describe. If you have an opinion about why the disparity described in the OP is fair, I would be interested to hear your thoughts. quote: I have to admit that I am amazed that someone wouldn't cough up essentially the cost of a date to defray the cost of meeting a pool of women who had similar interests. I have attended many BDSM conventions that cost several hundred dollars. To me, what they present justified what I spent but the idea here does not. If what was proposed was a meet and greet with a fee to cover event costs and to compensate the time for whoever puts together the event, it seems fair. If the costs for women and men were dissimilar within reason to try to even the ratios, fair enough. However, the structure as it has been described seems unfair to me. Why do not the men and women who go on this retreat pay for their costs; why not have a meet and greet with a fee to cover the cost of the meet and greet, and then those who go on the retreat take on the associated costs? To me, such an idea seems more fair. The proposed idea strikes me to generally exploit submissive men and convey a sense of disregard, to which I take exception independent of what I consider to be my chances for making the cut. Aside from the issue I have about what I perceive as unfair, I consider the idea to offer little to submissive men and I feel its merits as a business idea as a matchmaking service are not there. 1. It asks for a fee to be given to someone whom one does not know for something--an opportunity to meet dominant women who are single--which is already available in most metropolitan areas at much less cost. What specifically does this event offer to submissive men that is not available to them through sites like this, or through munches or BDSM conventions? If there is business merit in this idea then I have some terrific tap water that I am willing to sell to people for $25 per gallon. I know everyone has tap water where they live but I bottled this tap water myself and, c'mon, doesn't everyone need water to survive? Is it too much to ask someone to pay $25 for something that is essential for their survival? Oh, and shipping is extra ;-) 2. To me, diversity and being able to start from who I find interesting trumps knowing that each of the five women is a domme and is single. I have met plenty of dominant women. An interest in BDSM alone does not make for compatibility. The challenge lies more in finding one who brings each BDSM compatibility and social or romantic compatibility. The idea as it has been suggested seems to say little about how the dommes would be selected. Furthermore, the diversity is arranged only for the dommes; the event leans too much in favor of dommes and offers too little to the subs. Issues of distance aside, between 100 men, dommes might find one who is compatible. How likely is a sub to find a compatible domme for a permanent relationship when there are only five? I think there is more room to package the idea as a reality-TV inspired game than as a matchmaking service, where the reward for winning is the retreat and a weekend of BDSM fun (versus expectations for a lifelong partner). That way, those who are interested in the game towards such a weekend participate in it versus those who are looking for relationships, and the funds are raised from those who want a shot at such a weekend retreat than those who are looking for relationship partners. Cheers, Sea

PeonForHer -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/3/2008 10:05:56 AM)
Oh, now, a forum meet, though. THAT would get me to part with the readies to scoot across the pond. And, gladly, any extra cash to the organiser. That way I could meet you, Sea, and find out why you masquerade as an Englishman by finishing each post with the word "Cheers".

thezigg -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/3/2008 9:25:37 PM)
Id never be able to get past the thought it was a total scam. Who would you be sending this money to? Then if your not one of the chosen few how would you ever know it really happened.

FloridaMistresse -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/4/2008 5:13:02 AM)
I think it's an interesting proposal. I look at it from the other direction: Would I pay $100 to go to a party where I knew there would be the MY subset ( for Me it's Fem Doms & Fem Subs, for others it might be Fem Dom, male subs) and that W/we were all actively looking for serious relationships/ ownership. Then, yes I would of course pay to attend. How is it any different then paying a cover fee for a club? I really do not understand all of the repugnitions on this. Would I pay $2000? I would pay that for a service. So, say I want an asian female slave, if someone were able to broker that, would it be worth 2K Absolutely. Why: simple, My time is valuable, and it takes months even years to find what you seek, if there were someone dedicated to that cause and they would do the work for Me, why would I not pay them? It is just like the hetero/vanilla match making services. I think it would mostly depend on the reputation and quality of the service. I mean men pay for Russian and Phillipino wife daily, how is this any different? I think W/we get way too caught up in indignation. I think its a good business mode, I would just tweak it by havng the Dominants also pay. Keep the cost to a minimum, $100 is reasonable for an evening of fun, frolic and potentionally finding ones soul mate.......I mean dinner for 2 is usually more than that!!

FloridaMistresse -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/4/2008 5:14:47 AM)
Ooh Ooh Ms Kotter I have an idea: How about Ds speed dating? LOL arnold~ <weg>

OneMoreWaste -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/4/2008 5:48:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: undergroundsea If there is business merit in this idea then I have some terrific tap water that I am willing to sell to people for $25 per gallon. I know everyone has tap water where they live but I bottled this tap water myself and, c'mon, doesn't everyone need water to survive? Is it too much to ask someone to pay $25 for something that is essential for their survival? Oh, and shipping is extra ;-) Hm, bottled water, you say? So in other words, there are millions to be made, but it's all in how you market it... [:-] quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer That way I could meet you, Sea, and find out why you masquerade as an Englishman by finishing each post with the word "Cheers". Oi, and now you lot think you've got a bloody monopoly on it? Bollocks! quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse Then, yes I would of course pay to attend. How is it any different then paying a cover fee for a club? I really do not understand all of the repugnitions on this. I think the issue that most are having is the one-sidedness- too many men per Domme, all paying a not-insignificant sum of money. Most male subs have developed a certain skepticism about being hit up for cash.

undergroundsea -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/4/2008 8:22:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste Hm, bottled water, you say? So in other words, there are millions to be made, but it's all in how you market it... [:-] Good catch! I suppose that example did not serve me well ;-) I personally have not gotten on board for bottled water and instead go for juices and flavored beverages. But you have a point that there are many who prefer differently. Cheers, Sea

undergroundsea -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/4/2008 8:28:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer That way I could meet you, Sea, and find out why you masquerade as an Englishman by finishing each post with the word "Cheers". It's out of nostalgia for a sitcom about some bar which my college roommate and I used to watch after the nightly news on weekdays. Just kidding. I promise to come up with a new reason each time I encounter this question so as to keep the mystery intact ;-) Cheers, Sea

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/4/2008 8:31:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: undergroundsea quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer That way I could meet you, Sea, and find out why you masquerade as an Englishman by finishing each post with the word "Cheers". It's out of nostalgia for a sitcom about some bar which my college roommate and I used to watch after the nightly news on weekdays. I promise to come up with a new reason each time I encounter this question ;-) Cheers, Sea And I just thought you were being pleasant! [:D]

undergroundsea -> RE: Femdom "Bachelorrette" - big femdom slumber party. (12/4/2008 9:07:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus And I just thought you were being pleasant! [:D] PeonforHer called it. I am masquerading. You see, I find the English accent very sexy. And so I am masquerading to catch the eye of UK women. Joking aside, I have a story about this accent thing. Many years ago I was seeing a woman who had a weakness for things from the UK: the accent, kilts, everything. I came to learn this information as I was preparing to visit my sister in Scotland. So during this visit, I made it my mission to pick up the accent and asked the hosts to help. They were very helpful at first. They asked which kind of accent did I want to learn. They then proceeded to list about 20 different accents. I told them that it did not matter if what I spoke was an accent that did not even exist as long as it sounded like one to people in the US. Anyway, they humored me. However, I was doing a horrible job at it--so much so that on the second day of the visit my brother-in-law pleaded for me to just talk normal because I was butchering the accent so bad. Well I was on a mission to please a domme. Was I to just give up like that? I think not. Fine, I said. I'll just learn it on my own. How though? And then it came to me. I came across my nephew's toys. And he had one of those alphabet toys where you push a letter of the alphabet and toy says "A for aunt." And so I learned how to say aunt, ball, cat, dog fairly well in a Scottish accent! And on my way to the castle in Edinburgh, I saw some kilts in a shop. So I picked one up and began to examine it to see what size might fit me. Just then a sales associate rushed over, looking a little concerned. "May I help you, Sir?" "Oh I was just looking to see which one might be my size." "The kilts for gents are on the rack over there. These are for ladies." Maybe subconsciously I have a wish to crossdress ;-) Anyway, the things a guy does for a domme... Cheers, Sea

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