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RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 4:02:33 PM

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quote:

2) The feeling you get from using Daddy versus other "titles" set the dynamic for a "warmer" tone/tempo.

I agree completely.

While I am sure with extensive psychiatric evaluation would could eventually dig out the nature of the subconscious desire to refer to one's male partner as Daddy, I am not a psychiatrist nor particularly interested in "why" that is the case.

If she wants to know why, she can call a professional and ask.

On a more personal note, put on a cheerleading outfit, smile sweetly at me and go "spank me daddy" and you will cause me to melt into this little puddle of Domly goo with Mr. Tiny standing at attention in the middle.

JM, CBW, BTYG,

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to katydyd)

RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 6:57:22 PM

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From: Brisbane, Australia
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I see the "Daddy" and "little girl" scenarios to be other outlets for control. Being in the mindset of little girl/princess/whatever, puts you in the place where you have an ultimate authority figure who knows what's best, and you get to trust them and just enjoy what happens. It's a mindset a lot of people are more familiar with, than dominant/submissive.

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 6:47:26 AM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
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Hello,

There are several reasons that people chose to use the term "DADDY".

It is more commonly accepted in public, think back to your parents or
grandparents who called each other moma or daddy or papa and mother/father.
To see a couple do that now while rare is thought of as cute/romantic/loving.

Some use it for other reasons, for the "boy/girl" perspective, it could be the
eternal sense of being young, needing guidance, the security they get from the
"guidance" they receive from the D/s or M/s relationship but calling them Sir/Master
leaves them uneasy.

From the "daddy" perspective, there are some who thrive being looked up to, of
being able to guide or mold or be a positive influence on the boy/girl.

While this is not a practice this girl uses, stormi does occassionally tell the family
labador to go to Papa Bear. But this girl does not use Papa when in conversation with
Master nor in private. It's not who she is.

Again it is stormi's understanding from her leather ties/family, that the title of Daddy is
the same as Master/Sir or for some it means something even more significant.

This girl believes that the biggest thing to remember when witnessing the "Daddy"/girl/boy
behavior is to be understanding and supportive. IF you put yourself there for a minute sometimes
you might find yourself really envying them for the freedom they feel in doing so.

Just this girl's nickle.

Be Well,
stormi

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 10:03:47 AM

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Iwill...love the reference to Disney films...

I think the Daddy/babygirl dynamic is more prevalent nowadays than before because of the increase of fatherless children in the world. I know there were plenty of Daddy/daughter relationships before and that many have absolutely nothing to do with how the individuals interacted with their biological parents, but the question is..."why are there more such relationships now?"

I am a divorced father and miss my daughter every day. When I am "Daddy" to my slave...does that fill some kind of gap? Sure it does. Sex has nothing to do with Daddy/little girl relationships in my mind. There is just a special connection...a special feeling that goes along with it. When I am in full "Daddy" mode with my slave...do I fill some kind of empty space within her that wasn't filled by a healthy relationship with her own father? I think so.

With so many single moms out there... and so many deadbeat dads... it's not hard for me to see how it is possible for the lack of strong Father/daughter relationships to be somewhat responsible for the increase in Daddy/babygirl relationships within the BDSM community.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 10:15:53 AM

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Joined: 4/5/2004
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Hello Everyone - This is a topics which we have been asked many, many times over the yaers.

We are Diva & Daddy - we are a Dominant married couple. the term "Daddy" has many, many connotations and can apply to whatever the bearer decides with reference to a host of dynamics within and out of the lifestyle. We do not use the term "Daddy" for ageplay, moreover it is a terrific counterpart in personality of Diva (those who know us will no doubt understand). We are a couple with completely different approaches and play styles. The "Daddy" name does infer a nurturing and protective aspect indeed, yet when it comes down to play for us personally - it varies and is complex as the people we session with.

Also, we must agree that the term "Daddy" is far less ego based than "Master" or "Lord" to some, as a Dominant male's character should preface his actions - not the other way around.

Thank you for allowing us to post & present our perspective on one of our screenames..

Diva & Daddy
Las Vegas, NV

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 12:49:18 PM

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Joined: 8/4/2004
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Sometimes people infer deep-seated psychological shifts when really there is nothing more than a change in the connotation of words or in the transient culture of language.

The first time I heard President Reagan refer to his wife as "Mommy", it totally freaked me out. What a perv! I then learned that such a thing was not uncommon in that generation. To me it smacked of incest and bizarre sexual dynamics, to them it was just a cute pet name.

In my culture such a thing had meaning which it didn't have in theirs (or my grandparents).

There is a female commedian (forgot her name) who does a routine about dating her first Latin man and having him yell "Ai, Mommy!" in bed. it is funny to both her Anglo and Latin audience who recognize the discmfort and distorted messages that can come from this innocuous linguistic usage. In the routine, she makes a freaked out face but isn't sure she heard what she thought she heard. Later she asked him what he said and he responds, "When I say 'Ai, Mommy!' you say 'Aai, Poppy." Another funny face and the audience goes wild.

A few years ago I never would have considered using "Daddy" as a title and would have been very turned of by a woman who called me that. Now my opinion is a little different and I think I've been influenced more by my cuban and black friends and by popular music then by my BDSM friends and reading.

Sometimes a banana is just a banana.

(in reply to DivanDaddy)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 2:49:16 PM

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Off topice I couldn't help but notice

quote:

I am NOBODY. . .because nobody is perfect.

I have also found nobody cares,
Nobody does anything
Nobody gets blamed for anything
Nobody works harder
I'm sure I heard more, but Nobody knows for sure

Later

Grey Dragon on the lighter side of life, that is till the battierys go out

(in reply to GoddessJules)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 3:07:50 PM

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Joined: 1/18/2004
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quote:

I don't equate what goes on in a BDSM session with what I'd want in a daughter-Daddy relationship.

I don't believe any of Us truly do dixiedumpling, But we are talking about adults and not children.

There was a time I enjoyed it, being called Daddy, but the girl/woman twisted it till I came to hate it. So all in all its how the word is used, just as any terms are. they are our individual turn ons or in your case turn off.

Just mho
Grey Dragon

(in reply to dixiedumpling)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 3:37:40 PM

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Joined: 1/18/2004
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quote:

Now, then, why would I want to think about that by referring to my Dom as Daddy? I feared that man all my childhood. I don't want to fear my Dom.

This is fairly telling. Each of us has wants and needs in their life, and We bring them here. You feared him all your life? Does go to say that you wish you needed not have, and would of liked a happier relation ship with him. Seems a great deal was missing when you say you feared him all your life.

The use of the word in your case can not overcome the neg that you have come to associate with the word, while with others if does block out the neg of a past associates, thus helps them.

Now with those who had no neg past about their Daddies. Well I can say my litttle girl loves me very much, and no matter what her mistaken ideas about what love might be its up to me to protect her till she grows up to know better. And if she still feels the same way after growing up, well I have no problem with her acting out her fantasies with another man. Just so she Knows I was there to take care and protect her. Not have her replace her mother.

Grey Dragon

(in reply to dixiedumpling)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 3:45:34 PM

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Joined: 1/18/2004
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quote:

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

Are they? ( fucking or idiots ) when I saw the movie the was only one idiot in it and that was Dr. Evil ( Oh who am I kidding the whole cast were a bunch of idiots)

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 3:56:35 PM

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Joined: 1/18/2004
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quote:

The proudly owned white silk slave of Master KnightStorm Bear

I read that and wondered it must be flustering to be in a sexual relationship and still be a virgin, White silk meaning a girl that has been unopened by a male, or simply a virgin. I could be wrong.

Grey Dragon

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 4:16:07 PM

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Joined: 1/18/2004
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quote:

The first time I heard President Reagan refer to his wife as "Mommy", it totally freaked me out. What a perv! I then learned that such a thing was not uncommon in that generation. To me it smacked of incest and bizarre sexual dynamics, to them it was just a cute pet name.

In my culture such a thing had meaning which it didn't have in theirs (or my grandparents).

This says it all "In my culture " here is were we all fail to realize we are all making personal judgments based on what we have up to now felt were the morals we were taught were good morals of our cultures. Not even thinking that we may not have grown up in the same place or family backgrounds might be.
The important point We should be taking in is by talking about it we open ourselves up to ways of thought we would never have considered even a few weeks ago. As long as we can keep speaking openly about all these ideas and how we feel about them, we can learn to be more open about other ideas, and make adjustments in our other everyday affairs.

There is a life for all of us outside of BDSM

Grey Dragon

(in reply to WayHome)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 4:30:28 PM

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Joined: 2/16/2004
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quote:

White silk meaning a girl that has been unopened by a male, or simply a virgin. I could be wrong.

You aren't wrong. It does mean simply that. A virgin. Some folks (especially online role-play types) use "white silk" to mean "protected". Sometimes "protected" means that their sexual use is reserved to their master, other times it means that they aren't obedient (or even deferential) to anyone but their master.

This message has been brought to you by Gor-Lite. When you want to call yourself Gorean, but without all that Gorean stuff, reach for a nice Gor-Lite.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 8/10/2004 5:23:22 PM >

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Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to GreyDragon1952)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 7:52:57 PM

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quote:

With so many single moms out there... and so many deadbeat dads... it's not hard for me to see how it is possible for the lack of strong Father/daughter relationships to be somewhat responsible for the increase in Daddy/babygirl relationships within the BDSM community.

I think this also addresses why over the past 40 years between wars and deadbeat dads why the Woman in the US culture in general have become so Strong and Dominant and in a position that has started to reverse the roles of the past of the Man being all these things in Societys past and gone. Of course being there are now 5 woman for every 1 man in the World and the av erage age of Woman all most doubling to Men with in the past 20 years puts Woman in a place where They quite naturally have no choice but to become the Head of Their Homes and most things around Them.

But even befor all of this There were and will always be Woman whom naturally were also Dominant from Their inseption.

One need not be in a Daddy/lilgurl relatiionship with a play mate or significant other to call their partners pet names that refer to Dominance. I was never in a Daddy/lilgirl relationship with My Significant other but called Him Papa since the birth of Our first child together and the pet name simply stuck of course after the 8th One He most definatly lived up to the pet name as well........and the pet name had nothing to do with BDSM JMO

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 8:18:59 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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I like that facet of age play but Daddy isn't a dad and daughter thing. It's more about emotions than roles. At least that's how I feel. Of course, my Dad wasn't Mr. Rogers, he was present but not interested. Maybe that does have something to do with an attraction for that fetish(?). But, I'm not looking for a Dad, I had one and that was bad enough.

Anyway, to me Daddy is about that type of age play and not a general term.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to dixiedumpling)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 8:22:23 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas
This message has been brought to you by Gor-Lite. When you want to call yourself Gorean, but without all that Gorean stuff, reach for a nice Gor-Lite.

Cute. I played Gor-Lite before. The heavy Gor just made me laugh. They REALLY don't like it when you laugh at them.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 9:36:46 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

I think this also addresses why over the past 40 years between wars and deadbeat dads why the Woman in the US culture in general have become so Strong and Dominant and in a position that has started to reverse the roles of the past of the Man being all these things in Societys past and gone.

"We are a generation of men raised by women. Im wondering if another woman
is really the answer we need." Brad Pitt, Fight Club

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Daddy? - 8/10/2004 10:11:37 PM

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Joined: 2/16/2004
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Yes, if you were "playing Gor-Lite" as you say, it's a sure bet you were doing it online. They can be touchy. So can a three year old when you tell them they aren't actually batman for that matter. It's not likely that you got close enough to laugh at the other kind. It'd be too much effort, and not really worth it. That's the nice thing about groups that are exclusive, rather than inclusive. When someone has to vouch for you in order for you to be there in the first place, it's just about certain you're serious before you get through the door.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 8/10/2004 10:13:41 PM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Daddy? - 8/11/2004 12:01:44 AM

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Joined: 8/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas
That's the nice thing about groups that are exclusive, rather than inclusive. When someone has to vouch for you in order for you to be there in the first place, it's just about certain you're serious before you get through the door.

I'm curious how that works. If you can't get to them to meet them then how can any of them vouch for you?

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/11/2004 12:32:16 AM

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

This message has been brought to you by Gor-Lite. When you want to call yourself Gorean, but without all that Gorean stuff, reach for a nice Gor-Lite.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 8/10/2004 5:23:22 PM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

Humm Gor-lite, yes that sounds about right, if its anything like lite beer, not only are you robbed of the full taste and effects, your still paying the full price when you have to piss. Or are you making your own lite beer just as you make your own Gor-lite.

I can even understand a man who goes out and faces death in the teeth wants to drink a lite beer. The hunter with a spear in one hand and a lite beer in the other. There seems to be a semblance of logic in that picture. sort of like ordering a double cheese burger and a large fries, and washing it down with a diet Coke.

The placing of restrictions on a slave should more of a physical restriction, say a Chastity Belt, a locked gag or other device that are designed to prevent the restricted activity, Or the presents of the owner/Master himself. that’s if she is not a virgin, and even if the girl is one a good precaution.
Calling a slave a white silk when in fact she is not, is like labeling a can of vegetables, as a can of fruit or chicken as beef.
Or in the case a woman getting marred again for the n th time wearing a white bridal dress it’s a fraud, and those that are watching and don’t tell her the truth are doing her a disservice. And may very well be laughing behind the woman’s back.

Then there are those who know better but because they don’t really want to follow custom make fun of those that would.

Telling me that because its been done in the past does not make it right now, they were wrong then its wrong now.

Telling everyone here that your Gorean as you imply is also a faud, Your creating your oun Philosophy without doing any of the work. You loosely pick out a few things you like and throw out all the rest. Well good for you , but don't go saying your Gorean, because your not.

You do and say a lot of things right and for that I commend you. But you seem to be on some sort of crusade to belittle a Philosophy you don’t personally indorse. Now your for something or against it but don’t pretend one thing and do another. Its not honest and it destroys your credibility.

This just my opinion. Like most its nether better or worce than any other. Others can take it for what they feel its worth.

Thank you all for your time
Grey Dragon

(in reply to Leonidas)

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