SirJ40
Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline
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Sometimes, it seems that people are willing to yell "fake" to anyone who does not wish to live the submissive life full time.. yet, does it mean they are "fakes", or merely that they wish to engage in submissive PLAY?
If people are honest enough to say that they are unwilling or unable to live as someone's submissive full time, then they are not necessarily "fake".. they are just not "full time". "Fakes" are people who falsely lay claim to full-time submissive or Dominant roles, and then refuse to fulfill the demands of those roles unless they "feel like it".
Rarely do such sites as CM or FL give an option for "wishing to engage in submissive play without submissive commitment".. or "having a submissive personality that is not always apparent". I'm always amused by the profiles that holler "I'm a submissive, but I'm a strong willed, independent person with my own mind".. the need to specify such things indicates that someone is maybe not willing to be a fully committed "submissive".. but they may still wish to engage in play wherein they take a submissive role.
For Me, a "true" submissive is one whom has submitted fully to another and lives by those guidelines at all times when possible .. with that particular other.
By the same token, a "true" Dominant lives up to the responsibilities and demands of that title at all times for their submissive.. not just when it's easy or convenient. They don't have a need to "dominate" anyone other than their Collared submissive, or someone who invites such a relationship temporarily, (ie; for play).
I'd think that the need to accuse someone of being fake might be alleviated somewhat if the "role" selections included such options as "wishing to play a submissive role when possible" or something along that line... not everyone wishes to or is able to live as a submissive OR as a Dominant at all times.
For an example.. My submissive is Mine, and lives that at all times with Me, however, it's not always readily apparent to an outsider. Her job is far from submissive.. she runs a large office with a lot of people, she needs to be decisive, forceful, and strong at work. Would I expect her to lower her eyes and kiss My hand when I walk into her office? Not at all.. she's at work.. that's a role that supersedes her submission to Me when she's working or with work people. It's very difficult for her to try and incorporate submissive behavior into her work environment.. it undermines the mindset that is necessary for her to successfully complete her duties, and I wouldn't ask her to do so. Frankly, I enjoy her role at work, I admire her skill and talent, and her strength and authority there serve to make her submission to Me at home/in our life that much more valuable.. she doesn't "need" to submit to Me.. she WANTS to, and acts accordingly.
Do I still have the obligations to protect, care for, and support her when she's there? YES.. but the execution of such things is more subtle.. if her boss needs to chew her out, I'm not going to interfere.. that's not helping anything. If someone from her work decides to become confrontational in a social situation, OUTSIDE of her work? They deal with Me.
On the other side of the coin, I am not the penultimate authority at My work, and I do not try to exert a Dominant influence over My superiors when I'm there. I do use many of the same personality traits when I need them, whether to act in accordance with My position above certain other workers, or to be strong in conflict resolution.. however, I don't expect anyone at work to act as My submissive, even if I am their immediate supervisor. Outside of work, if those same people try to exert that same influence over Me? They soon learn that it doesn't work on a personal level.
Do these situations make either of us fake? I assure you that they do not.. when we are in our roles, in our life, at those times when the outside world makes no demands that we be otherwise, she is truly submissive to Me, and I act as her Dominant.
Perhaps we need to incorporate "brat" or "smart assed masochist" into the lists.. then, those who only wish to act in a submissive fashion "some" of the time, would have a valid title that lets everyone know that they are not willing or interested in being a full time submissive.
So.. perhaps we just need to recognize the distinction between wanting to play in a certain role, and wanting to live in it.
Not that there aren't "fakes".. those certainly exist... and are usually apparent by their deceit and dishonesty.
There... I'm sure that's more than 2 cents worth, but an opinion was asked for, lol.
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RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? - 
Profile
RE: Why you call a sub/slave a fake ? - 
since I do have to pamper myself.
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