RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women

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RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 4:50:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

It's quite obvious that the man must be married, V. Either that, or, as you say, he wants to line up a string of women to lay. No doubt this is what he's been doing all along, in fact. Without one shred of a doubt, a "player".

IMO, you need to find someone as emotionally-balanced as you yourself are. I very strongly recommend that you don't give the lad another chance.

Thank you, PforH. A man's opinion is always helpful. I have no intention of giving him another chance. Regardless of whether I've misjudged him, as he claims, it's still too much drama.

Drama? I'm guessing that this person was a hyper-emotional sort, then, V? Someone who blew white hot with emotion at one minute then freezing cold a split second later? No, I couldn't deal with that. Personally, I'd put up with that kind of drama with a partner, but not from someone who was as yet a friend or just a "prospective".

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(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 4:59:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

I told him that, to a woman, the words "we need to be discreet" are code for "I'm married and the old cow will take me to the cleaners if she finds out" or "I'm trying to line up a bunch of women to shag and I don't want you ruining my chances with the rest of them." He insists I've got it wrong and that we need to be discreet for my "protection," because some of these women he's in contact with are trouble-makers.

Gee, I'd be insulted Venatrix. You are one lady that I think can handle her own.

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RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 5:24:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitchGoddessD

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

I told him that, to a woman, the words "we need to be discreet" are code for "I'm married and the old cow will take me to the cleaners if she finds out" or "I'm trying to line up a bunch of women to shag and I don't want you ruining my chances with the rest of them." He insists I've got it wrong and that we need to be discreet for my "protection," because some of these women he's in contact with are trouble-makers.

Gee, I'd be insulted Venatrix. You are one lady that I think can handle her own.

What he doesn't know is I *am* one of the trouble-makers. Men, honestly. Always underestimating the female of the species. Someone was actually silly enough to tell me that he thought women were nicer than men.

(in reply to BitchGoddessD)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 5:34:53 PM

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Venatrix....From what I have read from your other posts you are far to smart to fall for that trap. I think in your own mind you have already answered the question. Don't walk away... Run away!

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 5:47:30 PM

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I wonder if he was surprised at how readily his attempted obfuscation was translated into plain English. "We have to be discreet," indeed! What hoary old line!

< Message edited by Reigna -- 1/6/2009 5:48:34 PM >

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 7:30:03 PM

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Hey V, does the US have an online version of something like our UK Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages? Wouldn't it be great if you could confront him with a copy of his own marriage certificate?

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RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 7:39:40 PM

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I just feel like jumping in. It just sounds very very fishy to me.

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RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 8:00:14 PM

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Here it is - apparently, marriage certificates in any country:

http://www.govtregistry.com/uk.php?sk=Marriage&tc=ml25l136

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(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 8:16:01 PM

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Always trust your instinct. If someone said this to me, I would read it exactly as you did-code for “I don’t want the other women to know about you”. His line about trouble maker women-lame. There aren’t situations that can’t be handled. Maybe women hate him for a good reason.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 8:44:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Hey V, does the US have an online version of something like our UK Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages? Wouldn't it be great if you could confront him with a copy of his own marriage certificate?

Why, PforH, I'm shocked. Who would have thought you'd be so devious? You seemed like such a nice, sweet lad. As I mentioned in a previous post, I never did think he was married, just playing the field. Which is also fine, as I'm keeping my options open, too, but I'll be damned if I'm going to skulk around.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 9:17:51 PM

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(fast reply)

Greetings,

I'm with most of the folks on this board ... discreet = cheating, lying, etc.

That all being said, even if there was some valid reason for his need for discretion (ie: he's a Senator), I'm quite open, host events, attend public and private parties, chat on message boards, etc and any partner of mine would have to be just as public. Discretion wouldn't work for a potential partner of mine.

Wickad

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 9:20:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

If you d-type women (and anyone else who wants to chime in) were in correspondence with a male sub, and you knew that the sub was in correspondence with other women, and the aforementioned sub told you that you couldn't let on to these other women (you know who they are) that the two of you had talked about meeting, that you "have to be discreet," what would your reaction be?

The same reaction I have when anyone asks me to be fundamentally dishonest with others: "go to hell". Meeting me in person is not and should not be something a man has to lie about. If meeting me is something he needs to be ashamed of, he shouldn't do it. Period.

The thing about scenarios like this is that I would not waste the effort to try to figure out what game the guy was playing. It really doesn't matter. It's more than sufficient to know that he's trying to make me an accomplice in a fundamentally deceptive manuver which is intended to withold information from others. Why would I want to be involved in some guy's scummy little dance?

.

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(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 11:47:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
it is probably someone who is talking to several people, trying to feel out which will work, and doesn't want anyone to feel like she isn't the only one...

May I ask what's wrong with talking to several Dommes at the same time while taking the time to get to know them?

I'll add that I don't think there's a reason to hide it and I do believe in full disclosure. But until we've both agreed to be exclusive I don't feel as though I should be expected to say that I'm not available to any potential partners that I might encounter or happen to make contact with, simply because I'm a submissive male who's talking to a Dominant woman when there's no commitment that's been established!

As the old saying goes, "What's fair for the goose is fair for the gander"; and in this particular case, I'd have to say I believe it should also apply in both directions!

- pixel

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RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 11:48:55 PM

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pixel.. I dont think she has a problem with seeing other people... just the fact that the person in question was asking her to hide that she was talking to him ...

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RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/6/2009 11:59:24 PM

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Joined: 11/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave
May I ask what's wrong with talking to several Dommes at the same time while taking the time to get to know them?

I'll add that I don't think there's a reason to hide it and I do believe in full disclosure. But until we've both agreed to be exclusive I don't feel as though I should be expected to say that I'm not available to any potential partners that I might encounter or happen to make contact with, simply because I'm a submissive male who's talking to a Dominant woman when there's no commitment that's been established!
- pixel

There is nothing wrong with it, if she knows you're talking to other people. I don't require loyalty only to our endeavor, unless we've met in person. The reason it sounds fishy in this case, is his specific request to keep things quiet to avoid drama from the others. I do tend to not want to talk to anyone who flirts with everyone while considering me (and I him) either, but that is me.
As I said in my first response, I actually like to keep my business private until I am fairly certain about it's direction. As to meeting, it cannot be in private, unless I'm comfortable enough with him to suggest meeting at his place. M

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(in reply to pixelslave)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/7/2009 5:39:29 AM

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V whats all of the fuss about. Just bitch slap him and send him on his way.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/7/2009 6:45:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

V whats all of the fuss about. Just bitch slap him and send him on his way.

Oh, Raymond, I've done that, metaphorically. But I knew he'd follow this thread, and I do rather like to play with my prey before I devour it. I got several emails from him yesterday telling me to fuck off, but how in the hell can I fuck off if he won't stop writing? He's now been blocked from my personal and CM email accounts. Let's face it: Tease and denial isn't always about the genitalia.

Edited to add: He could post giving his side of the story, so I'm not sure what's holding him back. Must just be that he's being discreet.

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 1/7/2009 6:47:46 AM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/7/2009 6:51:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
but how in the hell can I fuck off if he won't stop writing? He's now been blocked from my personal and CM email accounts. Let's face it: Tease and denial isn't always about the genitalia.

Edited to add: He could post giving his side of the story, so I'm not sure what's holding him back. Must just be that he's being discreet.

Now this is fun stuff. M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/7/2009 7:30:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
Now this is fun stuff. M

It's worse than that, M. Yesterday, he told me I'd made him cry for the first time in years. That got me so hot and bothered that I was almost sorry to see him go. The thought of him with tears streaming down his cheeks. Whew. Ah, well. Next!

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women - 1/7/2009 7:40:41 AM

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Although there are things about this I can question and do and although I do not know every situation with every person... I do know that there is far more to this. Basically we all know what happens here on the boards and it is no secret that many enjoy the flirt and play and they all know about one another. It isn't a secret. Which leads me to believe there may be a bit more to this situation. I am not saying there is no fault. I am saying I see more here. Not to discredit anyone... not to lay blame or chose a side or anything else. I cannot do that. I can however believe there is something more because I do know there is more to the situation.

Could someone be setting up a worldwide travel with stops in every domina port for play? Sure. Could someone not be able to make some of those ports and have some disappointed domme's? Have any promises been broken? Any falshoods been told? Are we going to crucify a guy for the response we all give to him and allow because we all flirt and play and maybe he might not want to hurt anyone's feelings? Either he is scum of the earth or he might have some reasons unseen or unknown... Why he would allow someone to be mean to other's because he might share something more with someone else... I don't know and this disturbs me... but maybe there is more to all of this and the guy just feels stuck and doesn't know what to do with all these domme's.

I know the respect that has been shown to me for certain domina's here and I know there may be a big misunderstanding here and it really bother's me that two are in so much pain over it. Believe me... there was once a great deal of respect. To see it so painfully played out here is hard... I have been there and the whole story then wasn't known and never will be and I suspect in this too... it will happen. I can't see the big secret being that he didn't want everyone to know... most of us do know. So there is more to this.

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(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

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