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ORIGINAL: slavekal

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I would dearly love to have the joy of cuckolding explained to me by those dominants who enjoy it.  I am not disgusted by it, but it's one of those things that I can't wrap my head around.  I lost out on an exceptional man because of that.  He explained HIS desire very clearly and sensibly, but I don't get the appeal.  Maybe because my poly heart doesn't grok it? 

Lady Hibiscus, talk to Ms. Mlicious and/or read her blog.  Cuckolding turns her on like nothing else can.  She always wanted this, even as a child, before she knew it had a name.

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ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't do the making someone feel less... I tend to build people up... it goes against my whole life work to rip someone down emotionally.  Unless of course they have been bad, pissed me off really, really bad such as in doing something very wrong and I have no respect for them... then it is new ass hole time. hehe 

  (love the way you expressed that - have you been peeking inside my head?)

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ORIGINAL: MissDita

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't do the making someone feel less... I tend to build people up... it goes against my whole life work to rip someone down emotionally.  Unless of course they have been bad, pissed me off really, really bad such as in doing something very wrong and I have no respect for them... then it is new ass hole time. hehe 

I loved cuckolding with My ex-slave and I loved to humiliate him, but meantime I made him feel very special. I guess it's an art. He felt loved and excited by being humiliated in that way. I knew that I was not making him feel 'inferior' at all, I was just putting him in a submissive state or even in subspace at times. And for Me it was very exciting to. Why did W/we love it? Because it creates a huge power exchange, more powerfull than any other D/s activity does.
It's really not about the sex, I didn't even had sex yet with others, or relationship didn't get the chance to evolve that far. (reasons outside of our relationship) But just knowing I have the right to do whatever I want, that I have that power was a turn-on for Me even though I'm normally monogamuous. Letting him prepare Me for a date with another interesting man, calling him during the date, letting him pick Me up, Telling him how decent, polite and charming the other man was. This was enough for a magical dynamic between us, I liked the power rush and he was put in a peacefull submissive state. When he came to pick Me up and noticed My good mood, he was so happy because the date made Me feel good. The fact is that I enjoyed going out for diner with a nice man (a way more experienced slave than My fiancé, someone who treated Me as a queen without Me having to train him), but actually I just really enjoyed the power and was burning with love for My ex-fiance. You shouldn't look at cuckolding as having sex with another man (or in My case only dating, but I would have gone further in time). It's just a means to an end. You have fysical sex with that man that means nothing to You (or not compaired with what you feel for Your partner), but you are having very intense mental sex with your own slave. Wich really creates a very deep bound.

I certainly don't think cuckolding is for all couples, it's a very very big risk and only to engage in a very steady and trusty relationship. And if it's not in the male fantasy, you just can't engage in it. It would be abuse, cheating and hurting your partner. But it would not be the D/s act of cuckolding wich is a means to put a slave into a submissive state (enjoyable for him) true intense humilliation.

So to the OP, if it's not a fantasy of yours it SHOULD be a hard limit. And I can assure you that really not many Mistresses are open for cuckolding. Cuckolds are having a hard time to find a Mistress that wants to engage in this. And you as a slave have every right to put a hard limit on this. D/s is not meant to scare someone emotionally for life.

And I only read the first responses, so sorry if what I stated, was already said.

greetings, Miss Dita

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ORIGINAL: GoddessSpitfire

I am going to answer the question of the forum first, What is Dommes attraction to cuckolding? Well I find it attractive for many reasons. First of all, its a good way to make your relationship much stronger than you ever thought it could be. It spices up the doldrums of everyday life. I myself like to choose bi boys so we can share in the fun. I love having threesomes with my sub (when I have one that is). Its very attractive because it keeps things from becoming stale in your relationship. It also keeps him on his toes to be a better sub. What do you do if your into chastity and your in for a long punishment, let your Domme be sexually unsatisfied because you can seem to satisfy her in some way? Why should we be punished as well?

As for your second question, I think that most Dommes would just move on to the next sub if they werent interested. If this is a limit of yours and they cant respect it, would you really want to be with that Domme?

I also wanted to add that cuckolding isnt for everyone so although you dont like it you shouldnt disrepect others who are interested in it.

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Maybe because my poly heart doesn't grok it?

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

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Maybe because my poly heart doesn't grok it?

I'm with you on this one, Lady Hib... while I understand it intellectually, I just don't -get- the mindset, and would really be horrible at providing that environment.

Heck, if one of my servants didn't want to have sex, I'm A-OK with that. I tend to enter into long phases of celibacy myself. If I thought that one of my servants might need some time in celibacy in order to further hir development... again, I wouldn't have an issue with that and wouldn't hesitate for a moment to implement such. And Havens know that some folks at our house will be having sex while some other folks in the house aren't -- but the whole idea of cuckoldry and that whole "wave under your nose what I'm not going to allow you to have" thing... or the 'sneak around and screw other people and make sure outsiders knew that I was treating the submissive mate that way to humiliate hir... meh.. not so much for me. I just don't see the point. Then again, I don't really do humiliation in any other tangible way, either, so maybe that's why it just doesn't resonate well for me.

Calla