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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 2:50:15 PM

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Sometimes people with a whole spectrum of issues will deliberately seek out certain personality types they know will push their buttons and not in a healthy way. It seems to me that this was such a scenario and the OP achieved exactly what she set out to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reigna
Without remarking on the OP or the OP's tone or behavior or the advisability of the OP continuing the relationship ...

I'd like to point out that, while several responses sympathized with the Dom, whose tears revealed him to be "only human," the sub has been bashed up one side and down the other for responding with rage to a perceived abuse. I get how fucked up the whole exchange probably was, but does the OP get to be human, too? Just curious.

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(in reply to Reigna)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 3:50:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

Sometimes people with a whole spectrum of issues will deliberately seek out certain personality types they know will push their buttons and not in a healthy way. It seems to me that this was such a scenario and the OP achieved exactly what she set out to.

Very true. Of course, you know what they say about tangos taking two. My money would be on the other party also having gotten exactly what he bargained for.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 10:52:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

quote:

You’re a joke as a dominate

Dominant!!!!

Thank you!

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(in reply to JustDarkness)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 11:56:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

Some doms like to humiliate their subbie/slaves, and make them cry. I had an experienced with a dom where as when he started to try to put me down
Sir has never "put me down"

and I rebelled
I do not rebel, that is not who I am or what I find pleasing to anyone I respect

and turned the tables on the dom,
most call this topping from the bottom,
or being a brat. I find it distasteful

he started to cry. So tell me subbies/slaves how would you handle this matter.
If you think you want to do such a think, then its's your call, as I said before, it's not for me

Could you still respect your dom?
I would NOT respect myself. I just wouldn't do it. For what purpose?

How would this reflect on your relationship?
It's a reflection of me not us. I wouldn't be owned if I tried this for it would demonstrate disrespect and I respect my Sir.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/24/2009 12:00:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

No, it was never a negotiation at all to allow humiliation in our play or even in our lives. He went there because he was big daddy dom and I brought him back to reality. I will not allow or give a dom permission to humiliate me. To me when a man tries to humiliate a subbie/slaves and he is a males or a female it makes me wounder how was their relationship with their father (for the female mistress and mother for the doms). Is there some type of mental pay back they are doing when they want to humiliate a subbie/slave. Does anyone else feel this way?

This does NOT at ALL sound like the person written about in your profile.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/24/2009 12:01:37 AM

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It's worth remembering that it isn't always guaranteed that there's enough sandwiches at the picnic.

stella

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When you don't understand the reason why, that's love.

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(in reply to MissMorrigan)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/24/2009 3:41:23 AM

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That's for sure!

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A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to ALAstella)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/24/2009 8:01:11 AM

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Many times in life people will seek approval for their reactions verses their actions. An action would have been coming from a mature level within, while the reaction is coming from anything but mature. To upset anyone and get off on it, to me implies reaction that needs to be followed up with 'you are okay, he is not'. This usually is an attempt to help the reactor to stay out of reality and fuel their reactions in a postive light. Interesting tidbit though, if the reactor does not get positive feedback, it still will feed their cause. As long as they are getting the attention, they ride the 'high' road, without landing into reality. In the end this is what they seek; the avoidance of reality.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/24/2009 10:29:44 AM

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I'm with beth. Why would I want to make Master cry? I love him, respect him, and for us, it is not acceptable behavior. Sure, I have been argumentative, especialy in the beginning, but it was just out of a true emotional response, not me trying to humiliate him. How odd. The last time we were together and had to part until next time, my permanent relocation, thank god, he did cry, as did I. It was heartwrenching, raw, open and so bittersweet. I love that He is human and confident enough to show his girl how much he loves her that way, but the rest of the time, he is the one doing the tear causing and humiliating and I would not have it any other way. If you can humiliate your master into crying either he is not your master or you are not at all compatible. I just can't get my head around this I guess...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

humiliation is a two-way street...some folks you just can't humiliate, no matter how hard you try! this slave imagines Master to be one of those folks.

the thought of this slave attempting to "turn the tables" and humiliate Him, in or out of a scene, or how this slave would deal with the repurcussions of being sucessfull at such a thing is rather nauseating and hard to imagine.

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/24/2009 6:24:33 PM

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Good evening!
I would never , ever do that, nor would it even cross my mind to do that. Why lower myself to that person's level of pettiness and anger and ugliness? Even if that person were my Master? Absolutely not. At my age ::coughs:: I have learned that walking away and never speaking to someone who hurts me again is the best "getting even". Leave them wondering what I am thinking or going to do (which is most likely nothing). Even in magick, we learn that hurts can make or break someone, what one says can push someone over an edge or damage them beyond repair so that their goodness never surfaces, it can die within them.

I am a brat, Daddy has said that many times and I know I am but jumping on the bed, pouting, and chewing my thumb when I am unsure is not even close to what went on there. That goes beyond D/s, bratiness, or anything else, that is pure mean to reduce someone to tears. Just my opinion.
Love,
Zechriel

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(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/25/2009 8:26:09 PM

ExKat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Fast Reply:

Not meaning to offend but I was surprised to look at your profile and find you were 46. The situation you explained sounds very much like the dynamics teens and 20's go through in relationship.

::cough cough:: "Not meaning to offend", but just 'cause the OP is mildly crazy and quite possibly psychopathic and can't spell "dominant" properly everytime (or many other words, for that matter), doesn't mean she's a teen or twenty-something. People with screwy relationship patterns will stay in those relationship patterns even when they get all old. Clearly, the OP is not some newbie, bedazzled and confused by the whole "relationship" thing. She's been like she is for many years, and I doubt an argument on a message board, well-reasoned and thoughtful than many on here may be, is going to change her ways.

~Katie, piping up for the twenty somethings who can spell dominant and do NOT "put each other in their places" except in loving, happy ways.

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(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Humiliating you dom until he cries - 2/8/2009 4:15:12 PM

deviantdetroiter

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You may just as well have ripped a whip out of his hands, or broken a piece of dungeon equipment. You broke the trust. Just because you are a sub you don't get a get out of jail free card when it comes to the trust requirement during scenes.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/9/2009 7:27:06 AM

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My first reaction would be to ask myself why I stayed in a relationship (D/s or nilla) where I felt I was not basically respected, or where I felt I was pushed til I had to retaliate.

As far as I'm aware I'm in a dominant/submissive relationship. He's dominant I'm submissive. That means I don't yell at him to make him cry. Doesn't mean he can do that to me either, but means I certainly would not do this, regardless. I would like to think if he did this constantly that I would be mature enough to discuss it with him and if that failed, well there's always the door.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/11/2009 3:59:44 AM

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quote:

he wanted the power and I REFUSED TO GIVE HIM THE POWER. Because I LOVE ME MORE!!!!

sounds like somebody needs a whoopin'

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/11/2009 10:15:19 AM

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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As a submissive I view how you handled the situation to be juvenile and very unsubmissive like and shows you do not have a foundation of respect or trust with your dom

Being submissive does not mean you have to accept non negotiated, or non consensual acts and his reaction seems to have showed that he did respect you but was unaware of how humilation would effect you.... humiliation play does not equal doormat....it is an alternate way of saying I love care and respect youand can be a very hot element in a relationship for many. ..how you handled the incident will permanently mar the d/s dynamics in your relationship... if he is a switch possibly it may be salvaged but not if he is a dom.

As long as you feel your reaction was acceptable ..there won't be no reasoning with you ...any sub that reacted in a manner that would cause emotional pain to their dominant would have extremely deep remorse for the hurt they caused their because it is not part of their nature to be hurtful and vindicative.

if it was a newer relationship where sub and dom are getting to know each other and a similiar incident occured a person who is a sub, would ask that it be stopped and explain why ..if the dom did not heed, instead of playing tit for tat the sub would end the relationship

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/12/2009 11:28:44 PM

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As a submissive, I would never dream of doing something to make a Dom cry. I can't even wrap my head around how I would feel about a Dom for crying at my hand.

(in reply to lally3)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/14/2009 4:48:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

Some doms like to humiliate their subbie/slaves, and make them cry. I had an experienced with a dom where as when he started to try to put me down and I rebelled and turned the tables on the dom, he started to cry. So tell me subbies/slaves how would you handle this matter. Could you still respect your dom? How would this reflect on your relationship?

So, if i take this and all else you have posted here at face value it boils down to your Dom doing something he shouldn't have done, and you doing the same? Have i got that right?

To see that you could both be so out of order and downright nasty to each other would likely lead to both of you reviewing the relationship, the dynamic flipping from positive to negative, out of control.

Personally i would never form a relationship with someone who could do something they know would effect me so badly emotionally, and if they did go over the top i certainly would not lower myself to their level, but would kick their sorry ass into touch and move on.

There, is that what you wanted to hear?

< Message edited by pinkwind -- 2/14/2009 4:50:04 PM >

(in reply to Carmeldelight)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/15/2009 6:27:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

He is my BITCH Nervous break down, if you just mention my name.

You sound very proud of this. If I hurt someone I cared about, I wouldn't go bragging about it on collar me. I would be trying to make my partner feel better.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Carmeldelight)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/15/2009 6:41:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I am happy with my life

If this is true, then why does your profile say your still looking? You either lying here or your lying there.

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"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Carmeldelight)

RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 2/15/2009 6:55:52 PM

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Sorry, no words would make me cry (unless it's a church during a funeral service of a loved one; I cried a lot at my father's funeral).

Other than that, I can't imagine what a sub would say to make me cry. I'd just get angry and yell at her. I might even stomp out. But I'd never cry.

Is this what America is coming to? No wonder we are slipping down so fast.

BTW this reminds me of the story in the second gulf war that's on point here. Remember the British Marines who were captured by the Iranians? One of the Marines cried when the Iranians took his Ipod away.

This is not good. Grow a spine, men!

(in reply to thishereboi)

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