RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 5:46:45 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TranceTara

As for humiliation, I am not a big fan of it for me. In the past, as a novice, I got involved with a woman who claimed to be a Mistress. She was another's slave and wanted to try her hand at being a Mistress, with the permission of her own Mistress. After 6 months of verbal abuse and physical abuse I sat down with her and told her I could take no more. She then verbally abused me and I know I had made the right decision. She just wanted someone to take her frustrations out on. She was unhappy with her Mistress so I got the anger she could not release on her Mistress. But, I had no desire to humiliate her. I find those who need to belittle and humiliate others to such an extent, when it is not agreed upon, must be in a lot of pain themselves. I try to find ways to communicate with them. If that doesn't work, I walk away.

quote:

original:GoddezzT`

Hello tara, you've gotto understand that there is a Thick line between Humiliation and abuse. I love humiliation, My subs know they are well loved and cared for, only then I can bring in the humiliation, as a mindfuck, but when their selfasteem isn't enough, they can feel it as being hurt, and abused.

A Mistress never takes out their anger nor frustration out on thier sub, those arent worthy called a Mistress, that's simply abuse your position. When you noticed that, you should've walked out right away, and not even sit down, with such a people BAH

I do hope you understand Humiliation a little bit better, and don't let you be treated badly.
I wish you enough,
B safe

GoddezzT`.

< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/23/2009 5:48:17 AM >

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 5:47:52 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

it does not mean that a person does not care...he just caught the right subbie at the right time. he wanted the power and I REFUSED TO GIVE HIM THE POWER. Because I LOVE ME MORE!!!!

Ok so you made him cry, big deal. He is not the Dom for you. Move on until you find the right Dom for you, if one exists.

Good Luck,
~Lashra

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 6:01:22 AM

LunaVenus

Posts: 161
Joined: 1/4/2009
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To the OP ....I believe that there is a Sadistic Domme inside of you wishing to have expression. IMO perhaps you really do not desire to sub at all. Perhaps you will come to reevaluate your current relationship with time, and decide to become a Domme yourself....Not a sub at all.
Good luck darling on your path to finding yourself.

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 6:37:33 AM

Carmeldelight

Posts: 139
Joined: 4/22/2005
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Since you turned the table on Him,
shouldn't you know if you have had a payback feeling towards your dad????

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
As far as the person who, mention my father, I feel sorry for you because you are just reaching for straws.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze
I simply repeated your ridiculous words and Im not reaching for any straws, just feed you your own lines.

good to hear your happy so is your Dom now?

GoddezzT`

|You are just reaching for straw when you bring a person parents or children into it. I will not make a big deal about because I see your brain level!!!! You are just a person who has personal issue about the fact I can tell my dom to kiss my ass.

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 7:07:28 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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Caramel, apparently you have a relationship that works for you. We do not have the words of your dominant to know if it is also working well for him.

Do not mistake the fact that it appears to be working for you, to mean that anyone else will appreciate it, want something similar, or feel it is correct for them. Regardless of how we feel about what you've expressed, the crux of the matter is that it really is only between the people in the relationship. Even if the entire rest of the world finds it somehow rediculous.

You bring your personal life into a public forum, you will get opinions about your personal life based upon the limited knowledge given. You do not like the opinions, that is obvious. The reality is that those opinions should not matter if indeed, you and he are happy. Just don't waste your energy throw a tantrum when the rest of the world voices their opinions, just because you don't care for them. It will be a fruitless endeavour.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 7:22:50 AM

jen182

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Joined: 11/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

We were not even in play. I did not make him happy about something and he went off, so the subbie in me exist to the left and the bitch in me came out on the right.Some doms feel that they can do what they want to do because they are big daddy doms.

i believe that D/s should be a life that is lived full time, not just "played" it would eliminated so many issues

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 8:14:09 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

it does not mean that a person does not care...he just caught the right subbie at the right time. he wanted the power and I REFUSED TO GIVE HIM THE POWER. Because I LOVE ME MORE!!!!

My take on I Love Me more, is a person who loves themselves without having to be a tyrannt to one they submit too.

I love myself as well, which in my own self love, it would not come across for me to make someone 'my bitch'. Even outside of Ds, I could not do this to another person, be it my daughter, friend or family.

Now there was a time that I was very good at hitting a person's soft soft and making them cry. Actually, I was a pro at it. I use to think how cool I was, and nobody is going to get over me. I grew up since then, and realized all I was doing was pushing people away from really knowing who I am. It is a mean of self-protection that actually looking back was very ugly.

Sir and my late husband both have used humilation on me to help crack my self serving attitude. I am grateful for that. I walk better in peace now.

oceanwynds

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 8:30:10 AM

ODschainedangel

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/4/2004
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"Words said in Anger are the easiest to say and the hardest to ever forget so your relationship can move forward again after the anger is gone."

With that being said, Yes I have had things said to me that upset me and mad me cry in the past and believe me when I say I am not prefect and thought of some pretty mean things I could have said back but I did not. That DON"T mean I am a door mat. It means I am wise enough to know anger causes many unment things to be said and if I just add to that list of things, then it would take much longer for us to both move forward.

To me this is how i live my life with all people not just Master/slave. It makes my life easier. I try not to do to others as they do to me but instead to do to them as I would want them to do to me.

Angel

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 8:32:48 AM

Carmeldelight

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I have a tantrum…..never (that is your perception, which is very poor observation). I have found this to be amusing. On how people have perceived this whole topic. How some doms/mistresses have got upset because, one had chosen to put their dom in place. I have looked at the fact people have taken this out of contexts. Some people have said I would never, and I say to that never say never what you will not do, until you cross that path. Now some subbie are thankful that your doms have humiliated them, but then I look at their self esteem. The question that was asked was would you as a subbie still respect your dom and would you still stay with your dom. The only thing I asked for was an option. An option is what makes the world go round and everyone is entitled to have one

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 8:53:18 AM

LaTigresse

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Options or opinions, you will not always like what you get.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 8:56:19 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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So if you humiliate your dom and "put him in his place"... why do you still call him a dom? He is not the dominant one in your relationship, by your own description. So is this a relationship of two switches? A switch and a domme?

I can't wrap my brain around "put him in his place" and him being dominant. His place is a place of leadership, of power, of strength, of taking you by the hand (so to speak), and leading you to the place where you both are happy.

What place did you put HIM in?

Cali

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 1/23/2009 8:57:40 AM >

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:01:12 AM

LaTigresse

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Cali, you've got wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more patience than I.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:06:42 AM

MissMorrigan

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You are trying to convince yourself that it is, hence starting this thread with the intention of gaining affirmation for your behaviour. When you clear the steam off the bathroom mirror, reality will be staring right back at you - there's no escaping that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
I am happy with my life

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:24:20 AM

Carmeldelight

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Again, people need to learn how to read and comprehend. I am seeing a lot of that coming through. How am I trying to get someone to affirm my behavior by starting this thread? If you need to go back to page one to understand the just of the question, instead of just reading from page 6 and then trying to answer the question.

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:45:30 AM

heartfeltsub

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i don't know if anyone else agrees with me or not, but i am amazed (in a good way) at how long people on this site with try to help some one and how patient y'all are. It seems to me that the entire concept of what a submissive is is lost on this OP and the whole concept of an authority-based relationship or even a respect-based relationship is also lost. It seems to me that a whole of this

is going on. Y'all are saints to be continuing to try.

heartfelt

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:46:18 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
Some doms like to humiliate their subbie/slaves, and make them cry. I had an experienced with a dom where as when he started to try to put me down and I rebelled and turned the tables on the dom, he started to cry. So tell me subbies/slaves how would you handle this matter. Could you still respect your dom? How would this reflect on your relationship?

Could I still respect a dominant that cried? Yes.
Could I respect a dominant who used humiliation when it wasn't agreed upon? That would depend. If someone did that to me, I would explain that their behaviour was unacceptable. If they continued, I would lose respect and depart. I would not hang around. If they listened and realised that the humiliation was not agreed upon and they apologised and did not repeat the behaviour, I would have every respect.
However it would never happen twice.
If people who are 'dating' or in a 'relationship' and are making each other break down or cry and hurting each other intentionally (not in a ethical sadist way) - then there really isn't much of a relationship and more of a pretence.

If I acted as you did, I would not be able to respect myself.

the.dark.

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:47:34 AM

heartfeltsub

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well said dark, very well said

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:49:56 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

i don't know if anyone else agrees with me or not, but i am amazed (in a good way) at how long people on this site with try to help some one and how patient y'all are. It seems to me that the entire concept of what a submissive is is lost on this OP and the whole concept of an authority-based relationship or even a respect-based relationship is also lost. It seems to me that a whole of this is going on. Y'all are saints to be continuing to try.

heartfelt

I am going to disagree with you a little heartfeltsub. I do not believe that this really has anything to do with being submissive and the concept of what a submissive is. It has everything to do with being mature enough to be in a relationship, regardless of orientation. A person with any empathy, compassion and self respect would not make anohter person cry or break them down unless it was mutally agreed upon as part of a scene etc. Doesn;t matter if the person is submissive or dominant.

Meh - edit because I think you were saying the same as me... after re-reading what you wrote I think I just misread it initially... apology.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 1/23/2009 9:51:33 AM >

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:55:14 AM

lovehurtsattimes

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i dont think i could ever make a Dom cry,

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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/23/2009 9:58:13 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I had an experienced with a dom where as when he started to try to put me down and I rebelled and turned the tables on the dom, he started to cry.

So can you tell me what is the point in doing this? What is it you hope to accomplish by acting this way?

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