quote:

ORIGINAL: aussiesub07
I mean, if you are a single domme who seeks a relationship on this site and has been here for a long time, what stops you from being interested in all the male subs who contact you, which would be 100s or 1000s?

quote:

ORIGINAL: aussiesub07

I appreciate everyones opinion but for some, I think my question has been misunderstood. In my question I am only meaning the dommes who are single and looking. Not the dommes who are here for other reasons such as forums, catching up with friends, or the ones who are taken etc.
<snip>

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

quote:

ORIGINAL: aussiesub07
I mean, if you are a single domme who seeks a relationship on this site and has been here for a long time, what stops you from being interested in all the male subs who contact you, which would be 100s or 1000s?

Out of a 100 e-mails a female dominant might get, at least 80 of them will beg for strap ons, or spankings or to worship whatever part of her body. Then if she talks to the 20 that don't, 10 of those will begin to talk about nothing but BDSM once they get their foot in the door. Then the 10 that don't, she might meet and 5 of those will have HUGE flaws in a social setting. Then she may be left with 5 and who is to say those 5 will work long term or not. And I'm being generous to say she'd actually be left with 5 decent submissive males out of 100.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG
Not to be disrespectful, but a sex oriented site, geared toward BDSM, would understandably draw those kinds of emails or PM's, and with a significant frequency. If you want to learn Algebra you don't study English. A person doesn't enter a boxing gym looking for banjo players. I've only thus far PM'd one dominate woman, and I hope I did so with some degree or courtesy, my interest in the PM admittedly was related to the theme of domination and submmision including the sexual component. Fortunately for me I didn't start off with one of those hardcore begging or requesting emails or PM's many of you have talked unfavorably about. And I can understand the tiredness, and unattractiveness of something like that. That said I also understand the male mind - influenced by the hormone of testosterone - and irregardless of their fetish, male sexual arousal is quick, explosive, and can be extremely overwhelimg. Combine that with sex oriented site for BDSM and I understand the logic of the male fetish mind emailing *dominate* women for sex related BDSM interest and not tutoring sessions in French.

In the minds of many males I'm sure, a BDSM geared board is a better place to potentially meet the kind of dominate women they desire, as opposed to an online web forum devoted to Zen Buddhism or recreating chivalry in society. You (plural you) jump your boots in Vietnam, you would do well to expect encounters with the Vietcong.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG
Not to be disrespectful, but a sex oriented site, geared toward BDSM, would understandably draw those kinds of emails or PM's, and with a significant frequency. If you want to learn Algebra you don't study English. A person doesn't enter a boxing gym looking for banjo players. Combine that with sex oriented site for BDSM and I understand the logic of the male fetish mind emailing *dominate* women for sex related BDSM interest and not tutoring sessions in French.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aussiesub07

To what UPSG said, I think for many women either for it to be in the vanilla world or not, sex or the sexual side of BDSM is mostly or only good when it's the women's idea. If its the man's idea, he is guilty of being a person who only wants to use women for sex or BDSM.

quote:

I mean, if you are a single domme who seeks a relationship on this site and has been here for a long time, what stops you from being interested in all the male subs who contact you, which would be 100s or 1000s?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG
Not to be disrespectful, but a sex oriented site, geared toward BDSM, would understandably draw those kinds of emails or PM's, and with a significant frequency. If you want to learn Algebra you don't study English. A person doesn't enter a boxing gym looking for banjo players. I've only thus far PM'd one dominate woman, and I hope I did so with some degree or courtesy, my interest in the PM admittedly was related to the theme of domination and submmision including the sexual component. Fortunately for me I didn't start off with one of those hardcore begging or requesting emails or PM's many of you have talked unfavorably about. And I can understand the tiredness, and unattractiveness of something like that. That said I also understand the male mind - influenced by the hormone of testosterone - and irregardless of their fetish, male sexual arousal is quick, explosive, and can be extremely overwhelimg. Combine that with sex oriented site for BDSM and I understand the logic of the male fetish mind emailing *dominate* women for sex related BDSM interest and not tutoring sessions in French.

In the minds of many males I'm sure, a BDSM geared board is a better place to potentially meet the kind of dominate women they desire, as opposed to an online web forum devoted to Zen Buddhism or recreating chivalry in society. You (plural you) jump your boots in Vietnam, you would do well to expect encounters with the Vietcong.

1) It's dominant, not dominate woman.
2) I don't care if this site was about flying monkey lovers, it only takes someone with half a brain to READ A PROFILE and see what the woman is interested in/looking for before messaging her. Some women might be here for just kinky sex and if they say so in their profile then more power to them. But those that don't do not deserve the flood of perverts that spam them because they're too lazy or too horny to read.
3) Maybe if men actually stopped thinking with their cocks and with their brain and used a bit of common sense, they'd have better luck in finding what they wanted. "Oh, this woman is taken and only looking for friendship; better not message her." "Oh, this woman is looking for a long term d/s relationship, I'm not so better not message her." "Oh, this one is looking for play partners, I guess I'll try to message her."
4) AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT KIND OF SITE THIS OR ANY OTHER IS, PEOPLE DESERVE RESPECT! And fucking sick wanker e-mail is NOT respectful! Geez. But nooooooooooooooo submissive men just never fucking understand. It's all about them them them them them them. Fucking makes me sick. Even if this was a site for kinky under the bridge sex people deserve some fucking common courtesy. Grown fucking men spamming women about their cocks and their stupid fantasies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

It's all about them them them them them them.

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I say that because the hormone testosterone has a significant effect on male arousal and consequently on how males pursue the ends to gratifying that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG
Well, I'm sure you could find quite a number of people in this world, that would say dominant women involved in BDSM are guilty of pride and vainglory. And I think you read to much into my post. I was only trying to say that it is reasonable to presume men of certain fetishes will be emailing and PMing dominant women on this site with eager requests. I say that because the hormone testosterone has a significant effect on male arousal and consequently on how males pursue the ends to gratifying that. Sure, some of the behaviors involve other factors such as personality, social training, and other things I'm sure. But I really believe one major factor is simply the biological make up of the male.

If a man better learns how most women are aroused and think it can probaly save him some waisted energy and frustration. I think that is true for women too when it comes to the male sex. All the subjective sociological view points in the world won't change the objective reality of the effects testosterone has on males.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: UPSG
Not to be disrespectful, but a sex oriented site, geared toward BDSM, would understandably draw those kinds of emails or PM's, and with a significant frequency. If you want to learn Algebra you don't study English. A person doesn't enter a boxing gym looking for banjo players. Combine that with sex oriented site for BDSM and I understand the logic of the male fetish mind emailing *dominate* women for sex related BDSM interest and not tutoring sessions in French.

Here's a newsflash for you:
 
D/s IS NOT ALL ABOUT SEX!!!
 
Guess what, it takes a lot more to *serve* a dominant woman than getting naked on your knees.  A lot of what happens in a bdsm relationship has nothing at all to do with what happens between your legs and everything to do with what happens between your ears.  If you can't stimulate my mind, you sure as hell can't get me wet.
 
Even if it was just about sex, a random email from some schmuck with a laundry list of stuff he wants done to him is not going to impress anyone.  Do you walk around the pub with your dick in your hand?  I rather doubt it.  There's no logical reason to expect solicitations for sex to go over better on a bdsm site than any other place you might expect to meet a woman.  If anyone thinks it is, then they're probably the individuals generating the most frustration and the fewest replies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: aussiesub07

To what UPSG said, I think for many women either for it to be in the vanilla world or not, sex or the sexual side of BDSM is mostly or only good when it's the women's idea. If its the man's idea, he is guilty of being a person who only wants to use women for sex or BDSM.

On the contrary, I'm quite happy for the man to initiate flirting that is likely to lead to sex.  Once I get to know him and have established a mutual attraction.  The problem seems to stem from the fact that men on dating sites, both vanilla and kinky, behave as though the fact that a woman has posted a profile means the woman in question has already given explicit permission to approach her in a salacious fashion, bypassing the usual stages of courtship such as "Hello" and go straight to "wanna fuck?" 
 
Just because he's horny doesn't mean she's interested.