RE: submissive or subservient

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RE: submissive or subservient - 2/6/2009 5:16:11 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Somehow i always imagined that someone really outspoken would prefer to be the one giving the orders. I may be wrong. I just can't imagine someone who is shy to be a powerful dom.

I'm extremely outspoken in familiar circles. And I tend to be the leader in certain circles. In intimate relationships I am not at all the leader, and extremely submissive.

To answer the submissive/confidence question, I used to be quite underconfidemt. My confidence was gained by being required to do very difficult things, and being able to accomplish them for him.

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RE: submissive or subservient - 2/6/2009 5:37:54 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Somehow i always imagined that someone really outspoken would prefer to be the one giving the orders. I may be wrong. I just can't imagine someone who is shy to be a powerful dom.

To me, shy and introverted are two entirely different things. I am rather introverted, but I am farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr from being shy. I just do not see the need to run about being obnoxious and in people's faces. Besides, I am not that fond of most people anyway.

I think I have met more insecure and outspoken people than confidently dominant, outspoken people. The one's running off their mouths are usually over compensating for their insecurities.

More and more lately, I am starting to wonder if we are twins seperated at birth. I read some of your posts and I could have written it word for word. *g*

Knight's Kyra

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Post #: 42

RE: submissive or subservient - 4/11/2009 2:15:11 PM

Interesdom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume
Wait is this another way of having the doormat debate?

I think it is both that and the "let's redefine words to suit me" debate.

I often think that the woman I want is a subservient one. When I think of her subservience, I am thinking of her ability to be fulfilled in intelligent obedience and of her usefulness to me as someone enacting my decisions and directions. I am far from thinking that this has anything to do with forcing her.

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Post #: 43

RE: submissive or subservient - 4/12/2009 1:12:28 PM

RealSub58

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IMHO ..........................

quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

There is a vast difference in submissive and subservient. Anyone care to elaborate?

I speak to those who say they are shy and introverted around their Dom. Doesn't that qualify as being subservient? NO

And...does anyone care to elaborate on how their submissiveness builds confidence.

www.thefreedictionary.com This dictionary gives some of the subtle differences.

Subservient
1. Subordinate in capacity or function.2. Obsequious; servile.3. Useful as a means or an instrument; serving to promote an end.SubmissiveInclined or willing to submitshowing quiet obedience people"
unassertive - inclined to timidity or lack of self-confidence; "a shy unassertive person" Personally I equate an unassertive person being subservient.I equate a submissive with just the right balance of assertion and confidence, but working on that balance might be the hard part. Submissiveness does not build confidence, neither does it build self esteem or self worth. You must have a good portion of the mentioned before submission is a gentle quiet willingness to submit to some authority or power beyond your own.

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Post #: 44

RE: submissive or subservient - 4/12/2009 6:15:57 PM

DesFIP

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Roget's Thesaurus gives inferior as a synonym for subservient, but not for submissive.

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Post #: 45

RE: submissive or subservient - 4/12/2009 7:01:53 PM

antipode

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quote:

shy and introverted around their Dom. Doesn't that qualify as being subservient?

Shy and introverted are character traits, methinks. Subservience is a mode of behaviour. There is no reason at all why a shy or introverted person would be subservient - I am painfully shy, in my inner core, have had to battle that all of my professional life, but subservient - nah, not at all.

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Post #: 46

RE: submissive or subservient - 4/13/2009 10:00:30 PM

hardbodysub

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quote:

there is a marked difference between "inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others" and "compliant and obedient to authority".

Truly, there is very little difference.

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Post #: 47

RE: submissive or subservient - 4/13/2009 10:07:06 PM

hardbodysub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Roget's Thesaurus gives inferior as a synonym for subservient, but not for submissive.

The unabridged version has:
submissive: assenting, compliant, comformable, consenting, downtrodden, humble, obedient, obeisant, pliant, resigned, servile
subservient: deferential, helping, inferior, instrumental, servile, subject, submissive

There is considerable overlap.

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Post #: 48

RE: submissive or subservient - 4/14/2009 7:34:29 AM

cpK69

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I believe the difference would be in reasons for submitting, though I like to think of it as surrendering now. I submit to my boss at work, I surrender to Sir.

The whole process has been a learning experience of getting to know me, without the weight of generally accepted ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’.

The more I learned, the more I started to understand some of my past action. From that, forgiveness of self, and a realization, it’s okay to fail, as long as you learn from it. Being afraid of failing was keeping me from trying.

Kim

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Post #: 49