Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ???

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Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/14/2006 9:19:47 PM

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Dear SWITCHES,

a. I have a question for you. If you were to shipwreck on a deseerted island and could chose one other person to be with you, who would you chose ----- Who do you feel you match up best with: a Vanilla, DOM, SUB, or other Switch? Please explain your choice.

b. If you were in a Metropolis with a full menu of delicious others to chose from, would you prefer a poly or monogamous relationship? It would seem to me if you went monogamous --- the best choice for you would be another switch, but what do I know. In a poly world, though, it seems you could indulge both of your roles.

c. If you have been in a relationship with another switch --- and let's say it was an intense relationship --- did you experience conflict over role assumption ---- aka "I want to be DOM," "No, I do." if you get my drift. How do you decide between top and bottom? I imagine if I were in such a position, I would decide through friendly but "binding" negotiation --- so I would know when I was topping (and could plan), botttoming, and being on equal footing.

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/14/2006 10:13:52 PM

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Honestly I do best with other switches, preferably switch submissives with a sadomasochistic streak. I just can't take a role with someone 24/7. I can't. Almost all the things I want to do to someone else, I want done to myself, and that can only happen with other switches.

In life, I like the idea of an open relationship, but one that is not built on going out and having multiple bed partners without the other person knowing who these other bed partners are. I believe in close communication.

Resolving the question of who is dominant. Interesting.......

I'd say a knock down drag out game of tournament with the weaponry to find out who gets to wield it.

But actually, on a more serious note, I've found the question of "who's dominant?" has yet to come up with me and one of my partners. If it does, I do switch easily.

I've also found that I am submissive to the whip (and other whip like instruments). Basically, all it takes is threatening its use and whatever Dom in me, leaves for the time being. Yes, I've had many interesting points of self inflection to figure out why and how, considering I love wielding it just as much (serving it so to speak through using it, being the medium through which it travels, I guess). It honestly, doesn't make any shread of sense. Ah well, yet another eccentricity to add to my rapidly growing list.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 7:09:57 AM

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Id match up better with a Dom or with another Switch, top leaning. I am mostly bottom, but I like the sexual charge I get beating other people :-)

b. Im poly. Always, doesnt matter my circumstances, I knew I was poly before I figured out I was a switch.

c.Dont really have role assumptions. Its more of "I want to get beat" or "I want to beat" someone, and I dont have to take a role either way. Most of my relationships, there is usually one dynamic that we prefer, and switching when we feel like it.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 9:13:33 AM

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A). lol, the answer would be whomever I can connect with most regardless of label ;)

But I reckon in a 'perfect' world, it would be a Domme with a lil switchy tendencies once in a while :)

B). Monogomous .... I am hopelessly monogomous ... I am okay with serial monogomy, but God and Goddess help me, I am a man and no good at multi-tasking. I can barley walk and chew gum at one time and you expect me to be able to focus my attention on more than one beautiful woman in my life at once? *whew* intellectually I wish I could, but emotionally it is not within me.

At any rate, most men don't know what to do with ONE woman .... oh, you men are saying "Sure I do" ... but you womenfolk are secretly nodding ;)

C) Too complex. SOOO much depends on the dynamic of the individuals in the relationship. Communication, communication, communication.

STILL can't decide?, fuck it .... flip a coin.

fergus

(in reply to StacyCat)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 11:38:23 AM

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quote:

a. I have a question for you. If you were to shipwreck on a deseerted island and could chose one other person to be with you, who would you chose ----- Who do you feel you match up best with: a Vanilla, DOM, SUB, or other Switch? Please explain your choice

.

Is this a permanent shipwreck? As in, no one else will ever find us again and we'd die there on that island? If that's the case, then I'd have to have a Top-leaning switch. I simply would not thrive if both sides of my nature did not have adequate outlets for expression, but I still have a need for someone else to be "in charge."

quote:

b. If you were in a Metropolis with a full menu of delicious others to chose from, would you prefer a poly or monogamous relationship? It would seem to me if you went monogamous --- the best choice for you would be another switch, but what do I know. In a poly world, though, it seems you could indulge both of your roles.

This depends upon the individuals involved. By "normal" standards, I am currently in a monogamous relationship. I don't have sexual relations with anyone other than my Master. However, I do still have an outlet for my sadistic side in that I do play non-sexually with others. So I'm somewhere in between monogamy and polygamy, and right now it works.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 2:20:08 PM

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A. Ideally, it would be with my Master, but if that weren't possible, I'd have to bunk up with a male submissive, preferrably one with some lumberjack/carpentry skills so they could build us a shelter. With no electricity, there's not going to be much to do besides sex and play so it would have to be with someone who's going to do what I say, when I say, where I say because in that situation, I just don't think I'm going to be feeling all that submissive. When I can't have a hot shower and get my nails done, pissed-off Bitch Domme is sure to come out. hehe

B. Technically, I am in a Metropolis with a full menu! haha Master and I are fluid monogamous. I don't even kiss other people but poly in a strictly S/M sense in that either one of us have no problem in those delightful S/M activities with other parties.

C. My particular make-up tends to be geared towards the other person. Regardless of 'my' label, the switch gets turned to the appropriate position depending on where 'their' switch is. I tend towards the Top side with most people having the oh-so-teeny-tiny sadistic streak.. ::koff:: But, if they are uber Dom and the power just oozes out of them, a quick hair pull and I'm gushy in an instant.

Celeste

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 2:27:28 PM

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From: North Florida
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Let's see:

A. Switch, I think see answer C

B. Mono e mono

C. Sadly I have never had a relationship with another switch who could switch with me.

(in reply to Evanesce)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 6:43:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Dear SWITCHES,

a. I have a question for you. If you were to shipwreck on a deseerted island and could chose one other person to be with you, who would you chose ----- Who do you feel you match up best with: a Vanilla, DOM, SUB, or other Switch? Please explain your choice.

b. If you were in a Metropolis with a full menu of delicious others to chose from, would you prefer a poly or monogamous relationship? It would seem to me if you went monogamous --- the best choice for you would be another switch, but what do I know. In a poly world, though, it seems you could indulge both of your roles.

c. If you have been in a relationship with another switch --- and let's say it was an intense relationship --- did you experience conflict over role assumption ---- aka "I want to be DOM," "No, I do." if you get my drift. How do you decide between top and bottom? I imagine if I were in such a position, I would decide through friendly but "binding" negotiation --- so I would know when I was topping (and could plan), botttoming, and being on equal footing.

A. Who says I want another person around. Most people just annoy me anyway, just give me a box-o-toys. And if that is not an option, I am certain that I can figure something out. Heehee. I am not a "female" boy scout for nothing.

B. While I am a big fan of polyamoury, it is difficult for me to concentrate on more than a few people in my life. Bed-hopping is out because of this. I am the one that says, "Oh, you are screwing my secretary? That is nice. Now leave me alone, I am busy."

Now is this a choice for life, or a choice for now?

Monogamy is easy when a person is busy, but then again, polygamy is great when you want to show appreciation.

You also assume that a poly person is bi While I am, the delicisious other for another might be the wrong gender. And they might have different ideas. So what do you do. Me, I go with what my partner desires (at this time that is no other men, but women are okay) because it just is not THAT important. I can adjust. Fucking is a part of life, not my life. And whom I screw or do not screw, does not define me.

C. As Nike says, "Just do it." If you really need more explanation, PM me.

LaMalinche

----------------------------------------------------

Carthago delenda est

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 8:14:54 PM

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I want to thank everyone for their responses so far. As I visualize SWITCHING, I think it would be important to comit to your assigned role. Also, I can see a type of rivaly of Dominance evolving --- in other words the Switch's dominating of a partner creates a standard and in most probability a response when the roles reverse. I think this could be rather exciting. In other words, there's an element of "you're in control now, but I'll be in control later." That is very sexy and alluring.

What I often tell my Mistress, is that our relationship is so easy b/c the roles are defined (Dom/Sub). There is no confusion or tug of war, and there is a dynamic that just works between us. I think its one of the advantages of being DOM/SUB v. something else.

Last note. Because I have somewhat of a switch orientation with a sub bias, I think it makes me a "lively" sub instead of being a robotic one --- and I think it makes me a better submissive.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/16/2006 6:27:50 PM

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From: Georgia
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a. i would do best with another switch. i have different tastes and just wouldn't be content if i couldn't do various things. people who are one way and one way only tend to bore me and i lose interest quickly. i like being worshipped but i also like to worship, and that is inside and outside of the bedroom.

b. i would prefer a poly relationship. if the communication was bad between my s/o then it wouldn't work and i'd have to end it. communication is key to any kind of relationship and definitely vital to a poly one, in my opinion.

c. it's all about communication.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/16/2006 10:06:11 PM

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I do best with a dominant who allows me to be rebelious (sp?) from time to time

I have tried another switch, but I am not 100% switch I suppose.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/17/2006 6:33:37 AM

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I am currently in a relationship with another switch. I am a Dominant switch and therefore I do better with a sub switch. There's never a conflict with us, we have excellent communication and he actually prefers subbing to Domming anyway. If I'm in the mood to sub he can tell because I call him *Daddy*

That's his hint that hey Im feeling in a sub mood if you want to Dom the opportunity is here. If he isnt in the mood we just have rough sex. Which for us is what this is about...good kinky sex.

~Alexa

_____________________________

Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
Patricia Sampson

(in reply to siamsa24)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/29/2006 9:18:00 AM

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If I could only choose one person to be shipwrecked with, I would prefer someone I easily connect with who has predominantly sub tendencies (could be a strict sub or switch who prefers to sub). Let's be honest, I prefer to be in charge.

I would prefer poly. I've tried mono several times and it just doesn't work for me. I have a poly heart and am tired of denying it.

When I've been with another switch, there's never had any problem with us deciding who is going to Dom/me and who will sub. We just seem to bounce off each other and fall into the appropriate place (although I usually Domme).

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/29/2006 4:11:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLibellus

If I could only choose one person to be shipwrecked with, I would prefer someone I easily connect with who has predominantly sub tendencies (could be a strict sub or switch who prefers to sub). Let's be honest, I prefer to be in charge.

I would prefer poly. I've tried mono several times and it just doesn't work for me. I have a poly heart and am tired of denying it.

When I've been with another switch, there's never had any problem with us deciding who is going to Dom/me and who will sub. We just seem to bounce off each other and fall into the appropriate place (although I usually Domme).

There needs to be more switches like you LL ....

lol, okay, honesty. I WANT there to be more switches like you ;)

fergus

(in reply to LadyLibellus)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 8/11/2007 10:34:05 PM

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a. Another Switch - just because I like "flexible" people (even if they claim to be "mostly "sub" or "mostly Dom" - the fact they could switch if they wanted to do it is somehting I find attractive. However - I also realize not everyone has the capacity to Switch, so maybe that isn't fair.

I guess I am also somewhat tired of people who claimn to "just not understand" the concept of Switching. What's so difficult? A Switch is obviously someone who has the capacity to enjoy and fulfill soemone else, in either role - Dominant or submissive. it isn't exactly rocket science. I am not gay, but I think I "get" what gay people are about. So do a lot of folks who claim not to understand Switches - I could rant on, but I'll stop whining...

b. Someone Poly

c. I am good freinds with another Switch in my hometown. So far, there hasn't been any "power struggle" when we've scened (which we've only done 3 times). But - we've even switched (once) within a scene. This might have something mto do with just being more friemnds than lovers (we both see other people, too - or at least know that we have no "ties" with the other. It's all very casual, bewtween us. Maybe that helps, I dunno).

I think whether the person is a Dom a sub, or another Switch - it has clearly got to be someone who understands the whole "Switch" idea, and isn't freaked out by it, and even thinks maybe that it's "cool".

I very much think they have to make clear with their partner at the beginning whether they will "switch within a scene" or just aren't onto that idea. Because if somebody really doesn't want to, asking them to (or "making" them) switch within a scene will only cause resentment, IMO.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/11/2007 10:43:23 PM >

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to fergus)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 8/12/2007 2:38:13 AM

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1. Preferably another switch, although on a desert island, I think I'd be far more interested in their ability to be resourceful and survive than their sexual capacity....

2. I'm a very picky poly...ironically I know many people who identify as monogamous who have more partners and get far more sexual action than me....

3. My experience in a switch/switch relationship is that there just isn't much competition about roles, because neither of us were hung up on the whole role thing to begin with. It was easy to determine who was top and who was bottom, because we just followed the flow of Energy and it would change with our moods, our stamina, our needs at that time. It was such a natural, intuitive, harmonious process that I honestly don't understand why this is a hard concept for some. The reality of Life is that no one is completely Top 100% and no one is completely Bottom 100% because Energy doesn't work like that....and if you try to push for that, it'll make you sick or burned out. Balance, harmony...it ain't that complicated, folks!

(in reply to SusanofO)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 8/12/2007 3:16:36 AM

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Well A good question indeed!!!

My answers

a) I would prefer a male Switch! One with sense of humour ( all thsoe hours to share He would need it) One strong to help Me build shelter,find food and also play well! All those new exotic locations to indulge with! Also if a a tad musical even better can serenade Me by moonlight or sunlight!!!

b) Id pick poly! I adore a Poly Family a female sub and Male Dom,suits both My sides and Im awake and alert without having to hide one of My sides!!! Im more Domme then sub

c) Its not a case of picking a ok its My turn tonight to be on top!!! More a case of how the feelings are,how the day has progessed or how damm evil and naughty I feel or He/She!!!

(in reply to glowworm)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 8/12/2007 4:26:43 AM

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Not being switchy, I'll offer this;

I don't care if I'm shipwrecked with the most obediant, vital slavegirl on the planet if she doesn't have a sense of humor, can't enjoy my political or philosophical ramblings, or put up with my amature slide guitar skills. The knowledge of how to brew beer from whatever the hell grows on that island is a bonus.

I don't really focus too much on relationship 'roles.' I'm dominant. I have met very, very few women that I felt were not submissive in our interactions. I'm sure this comes off like I'm thumping my chest; in reality I really don't make a big deal of it. What matters a whole lot more, is how we get along.

Stephan

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Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to princess74)

RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 8/12/2007 5:45:35 AM

Phin

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 8/12/2007 9:07:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

a. I have a question for you. If you were to shipwreck on a deseerted island and could chose one other person to be with you, who would you chose ----- Who do you feel you match up best with: a Vanilla, DOM, SUB, or other Switch? Please explain your choice.

I'd perfer someone that had all my vanillia things in common so I could talk to them. But for this game, a sub-switch. Since I'm a dom-switch it would work nicely. Since they would be willing to top me when I was in the mood, and sub to mean when I'm not. I'd hope they were funny otherwise, well it's just not going to work.

quote:

b. If you were in a Metropolis with a full menu of delicious others to chose from, would you prefer a poly or monogamous relationship? It would seem to me if you went monogamous --- the best choice for you would be another switch, but what do I know. In a poly world, though, it seems you could indulge both of your roles.

Monogamous relationship, just how I am. I have issues with the fact that I can date more then one person at a time, and should be doing so when dating. lol Not always, just someone open to my needs. I know for me right now I wouldn't be happy in a poly relationship, through I see it as more to love, I just couldn't do it.

quote:

c. If you have been in a relationship with another switch --- and let's say it was an intense relationship --- did you experience conflict over role assumption ---- aka "I want to be DOM," "No, I do." if you get my drift. How do you decide between top and bottom? I imagine if I were in such a position, I would decide through friendly but "binding" negotiation --- so I would know when I was topping (and could plan), botttoming, and being on equal footing.

We didn't that was my last relationship. He always said to me, "I've never could make you do anything you didn't want to." If I don't want to sub, it wouldn't happen. It seemed to work around what I was in the mood for, some days you feel like a dom somedays you don't. (Now I want an Almond Joy). I have not had a problem with this, and I hope that I won't in the future. I think a lot of it has to do with just knowing that you need to meet the wants. desires and needs of the person your with. I"m with them for more then just kink, and d/s.

(in reply to cloudboy)

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