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RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 2:54:21 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		For me it isn't a term i use in real life - just on line, and it tends to be used because it is faster to type than submissives.  Meh - what is a dominatingly challenged person to do???? *shrugs shoulders*

(in reply to laura2161)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 3:05:41 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		It does grate on my nerves when I see or hear it.  Especially when they put the word "chubbie" in front of it.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 3:23:47 PM   
DearJessicaD


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/26/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Yes. I hate it the same way I hate all cutesy words. Preggers is another cutesy word I hate.

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 3:32:30 PM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		...but I like to condescend to my dominance challenged subbies !

(in reply to DearJessicaD)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 3:48:15 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I think it'll go away about as fast as Domme. About all there is to do, really, is to make it clear to people who know you, or want to know you, that you don't like the word. Even then, it doesn't guarentee they'll stop using it; you can't control the actions and reactions of other people.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 4:25:34 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		Is Domme an unfavorable term? I know many don't like the "Dom/me" thing and I believe i understand why. I know many women prefer Domina or Ma'am or Mistress.

<<--- always wants to learn more.


_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 4:40:38 PM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with what Master Fire wrote.

I think it all boils down to respect. If there are words I know someone does not like, I'll use care in not using them around that person. I ask people at work what they like to be called when I see their name tag says one thing and I hear others using nicknames. I want to be respectful and in return to be respected.

It was interesting to read the different opinions and to see the reaction of those who wanted to just use the word in a toying fashion, ignoring that it offended you. So, in some cases, there are some that would most likely make it a point to use subbie, just to try to get a reaction.

The only reactions I can control are my own. If someone wishes to continue to use certain words or terms with me after I have specified boundaries, well, I won't be hanging around with them. I see far too little respect amongst people nowadays. I was talking with my store manager and a coworker and it seems to be a lot worse. Customers are getting downright rude and nasty these days. We just smile and do the best we can, but some days are harder than others. I like John Maxwell's A Short Course In Human Relations in his book Relationships 101:
The least important word: I
The most important word: We
The two most important words: Thank You.
The three most important words: All is forgiven.
The four most importnat words: What is your opinion?
The five most important words: You did a good job.
The six most important words: I want to understand you better.

What a wonderful philosophy to strive for! But for those who find that too serious, I like the words of Doctor Who number 9 in series 1, ""Excuse me. Do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world," and doctor number 10 in series 3, "Bingle, bangle, dingle, dangle, yikidee-do, yikidee-da, ping pong, lipi-tapi-tuta" Such is life. Have fun and respect one another.



_____________________________


“Listen, I am trying to cope with the presence of God and the Universal Human Experience, and I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet!” -French and Saunders

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 5:18:52 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Depends on the context and intent behind the usage of it. A group of friends bantering back and forth and using it in a lighthearted teasing manner, it's funny. Used by a stranger in a (usually in my experience) condescending manner...............forget it. Total turn off and I tend to take people less seriously who use it in a serious manner. It's a fun word not a serious word for me.

I very much agree with this, Sassy! If you think about it, saying "good girl" to a grown woman is really condescending, yet how many of us melt when it is said by our partner, or laugh when it is said by a friend in a joking manner?
Also, as someone else said, given some of the words used to refer to those of us on the s side of the kneel, I just can't see getting hung up on the word "subbie".


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 5:37:52 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I agree with oceanwynds, it is juvenile to defend use of this word <snip>
</snip>This is not like a closely held belief that you should stand up for and defend.

Actually, oceanwynds said that the word sounded juvenile. It was you who decided that those who have and express a differing opinion on the word are behaving so. That said, are we to 86 all words that someone finds offensive? If so, we'd better get a backhoe.

IMO, a better approach would be for those who do not care for certain terms (subbie, little one, Domme, Sir etc.) to say so. People who respect them and their preferences will not use it around them and, if there are enough who don't like it, the word will fall into disuse. Trying to remove a word from "our" vocabulary with a thread would be a neat trick in any case.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 5:42:58 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Gotta love the camaderie and curtesy that spews forth. *snort*

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to Anastasia25)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 5:45:11 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Well its not the first time I've read more into what someone said that what they meant. If so, I apoligize.

BUT, if you know a word offends people, is that word so damn special to you, that you will continue to use it?

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 6:08:14 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I dunno. I'd count myself lucky to have my biggest issue to be someone calling me a subbie.

It's mildly obnoxious in person, but easily corrected. Online I couldn't care less.


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 6:09:24 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Oh I guess I don't give it too much thought. It is a silly word but it doesn't really get my hackles up too high. Sometimes I like it because it comes with such great opportunity to say things I wouldn't normally say. Like those times when it gets barked by some full-of-himself dominant trying to get your attention, as in "Hey subbie!". It just warms the cockles of my heart to see that precious expression on their face when I answer...."What can I do for you there, Boy?".

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 6:21:10 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I agree that if I know a word or term is widely disapproved of, or just generally annoying to the masses, I avoid using it.  There seems little benefit in being deliberately irksome.  I just prefer to pick my fights. 

Does the word bother me when used in a post or as a slang word for submissive?  Not one bit.  I don't use the word, or at least, can't recall ever using it, but that is because I tend to avoid unsolicited familiarity of that sort.  Just to clarify, it is a bit condescending for a total stranger to write me an email and open the correspendence with "Hello subbie."  In my opinion, it isn't annoying, merely presumptuous. 

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 6:45:54 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Well the guys with the attitudes are obnoxious no matter what words they choose to use. :P

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 6:52:40 PM   
lilgirl2008


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		I have never been a huge fan of the term "subbie", and have often wondered how the Dominants would feel if we started referring to them as "Dommies".

So all you Dommies out there..speak out!

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 7:03:56 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

BUT, if you know a word offends people, is that word so damn special to you, that you will continue to use it?

Wow, nice red writing... and big font... and bold there, love.

That said, I do use the word with people I'm familiar with in a joking manner. If someone tells me that they don't care for it, I don't use it to refer to them.
Pretty simple, eh?


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 7:22:28 PM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008

I have never been a huge fan of the term "subbie", and have often wondered how the Dominants would feel if we started referring to them as "Dommies".

So all you Dommies out there..speak out!


Perhaps it is my lack of sleep, but I had to giggle at that one. I now get the image of cross dressing men who don't want to be daddies, but choose not to call themselves mommies. So we have Dommies. Dommie dearest.

I guess I have a Jekyll and Hyde (or is it Jekyll and Groucho?) personality in that one moment I feel like quoting Peace Pilgrim:
“Every good thing you do,
every good thing you say,
every good thought you think,
vibrates on and on and never ceases.
the evil remains only until it is
overcome by the good, but the good remains forever.”
--Peace Pilgrim

And the next minute I feel like I'm channeling Monty Python's Holy Grail:

“Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King!
I don’t want to talk to you no more you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster... and your father smelt of elderberries!”
How you English say, I one more time... unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window dresser. So you think you could out-clever us French folk... with your silly knees-bent, running-about advancing behaviour! I wave my privatge parts at your aunties... you cheesy lot of secondhand electric-donkey bottom biters!
I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing. You tine-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms!

Words do have power. The ability to use them is an artform and talent that few master, but those that do can influence people to do unbelievable things. Just look at Hitler and then look at Mother Teresa. Both had influence and knew the power of words and how to effectively use them.


_____________________________


“Listen, I am trying to cope with the presence of God and the Universal Human Experience, and I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet!” -French and Saunders

(in reply to lilgirl2008)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 7:24:25 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008

I have never been a huge fan of the term "subbie", and have often wondered how the Dominants would feel if we started referring to them as "Dommies".

So all you Dommies out there..speak out!


Now I have a picture in my head of a kids book called Big Dommie Tommy!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to lilgirl2008)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: subbies - 2/8/2009 8:11:45 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I dunno. I'd count myself lucky to have my biggest issue to be someone calling me a subbie.



Well, yeah.  :)  I don't see anyone here saying it's their biggest life issue though.  I've been accused of being "too serious" before...so it's no surprise that I'm not into cutesy words.  Is it an issue for me?  Well, making it an issue would be as silly for me as using the word.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 60
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