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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 5:36:10 AM

crouchingtigress

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Um its thier kink?
C'mon this is world based in power exchange and role play....fairly hypercritical to judge folks for the stuff that gives them a hard on.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 5:37:12 AM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

"Prove to me that you're worthy" is extremely common in profiles of female dominants. It always sounds pretty uber-egotistical to me. If I'm not interested in someone, for any reason, I don't consider them "unworthy", but merely not a good match.

I agree.

So a lot of "Dommes" have their head up their ass, huh? That's too bad. But at least if they put it right in their profile text like that, you can avoid them like the plague.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 5:39:00 AM

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It really doesn't bother me. Worthiness is a two way street, if i have to be worthy of him, he has to be worthy of me too.
It sets the bar in a weird kind of way and can only back fire on him. I don't usually even consider if someone is worthy of me, but if they want to throw it in the mix thats fine. rarely is something worthy of me. Kidding

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 5:43:33 AM

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That's what I was driving at before, but you said it much more directly/succinctly than I could.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal
And all of this is reminicent of herd behavior, not leader behavior.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 5:46:04 AM

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If it is their kink, whatever floats their boat and more power to them, I would hope they find a wealth of informed people to enjoy that with, but many do buy into that stereotype out of ignorance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
Um its thier kink?
C'mon this is world based in power exchange and role play....fairly hypercritical to judge folks for the stuff that gives them a hard on.

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A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 5:46:09 AM

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Actually, I almost dropped the guy an email asking him what made him worthy. Relationships go both ways. I wouldn't accept just any joe blow-me off the street either.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

It really doesn't bother me. Worthiness is a two way street, if i have to be worthy of him, he has to be worthy of me too.
It sets the bar in a weird kind of way and can only back fire on him. I don't usually even consider if someone is worthy of me, but if they want to throw it in the mix thats fine. rarely is something worthy of me. Kidding

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 5:52:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Actually, I almost dropped the guy an email asking him what made him worthy. Relationships go both ways. I wouldn't accept just any joe blow-me off the street either.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

It really doesn't bother me. Worthiness is a two way street, if i have to be worthy of him, he has to be worthy of me too.
It sets the bar in a weird kind of way and can only back fire on him. I don't usually even consider if someone is worthy of me, but if they want to throw it in the mix thats fine. rarely is something worthy of me. Kidding

I completely agree.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:00:24 AM

ranja

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I will take you...if you're worthy
When i see it and i have the time and inclination to prove myself worthy, i might try and see what hillarious or sexy even (you never know) play might ensue...
If i were to put it in my own profile it would only be for a laugh and phrased more like: Take me if you think I'm worthy...or if you're warty you might take me or....Sir, take me i am worth it...aaah
I only do cyber here and my profile is hidden most of the time to control my mail.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:03:42 AM

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I've dealt with the "prove yourself worthy" attitude, and most of the time, it doesn't work for me, especially with a stranger, but if it's someone that I know and admire and am interested in, I've been known to jump through a hoop or two to prove myself. It sets a particular tone that can sometimes work between two people. It all depends on how I feel about the person who is making the "demand".

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:09:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

Um its thier kink?
C'mon this is world based in power exchange and role play....fairly hypercritical to judge folks for the stuff that gives them a hard on.

A very valid point ct, but is there ever a time that we can pass an opinion or advice that we don't judge? we are sadly human-

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:22:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

It really doesn't bother me. Worthiness is a two way street, if i have to be worthy of him, he has to be worthy of me too.
It sets the bar in a weird kind of way and can only back fire on him. I don't usually even consider if someone is worthy of me, but if they want to throw it in the mix thats fine. rarely is something worthy of me. Kidding

"If your worthy", is of course, another way of saying that before a Master/Mistress or Dominant accepts the submission of a slave/sub, said sub/slave needs to meet specific preset requirements. As missturbation so eloquently commented, it is or should be a two was street.. Some people are either incapable or refuse to write some emails etc with clarity.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:37:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

It really doesn't bother me. Worthiness is a two way street, if i have to be worthy of him, he has to be worthy of me too.
It sets the bar in a weird kind of way and can only back fire on him. I don't usually even consider if someone is worthy of me, but if they want to throw it in the mix thats fine. rarely is something worthy of me. Kidding

"If your worthy", is of course, another way of saying that before a Master/Mistress or Dominant accepts the submission of a slave/sub, said sub/slave needs to meet specific preset requirements. As missturbation so eloquently commented, it is or should be a two was street.. Some people are either incapable or refuse to write some emails etc with clarity.

I agree with missturbation and IronBear on this.

< Message edited by oceanwynds -- 2/9/2009 6:38:40 AM >

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:46:32 AM

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I haven't run across it on profiles here, but i don't go looking much either. I have run across it in person more than a few times. The phrase, taken out of context, is silly and when it is just bandied about like "X is hawt and i would collar X is they were worthy" then it is usually meant as a joke. For some people as IronBear said, it means that yes the sub does have to prove that they are worth the time and effort AND ABLE TO HAVE a healthy relationship. In that context "worthy" means "not a do-me sub, a bedroom only sub, searching for a traditional marriage with spicy sex, or mentally unstable and untreated" among other things.

When it just pops out of the mouth of someone that just bought a crop from whips R us and has made it through the first 3 whole chapters of SM101, then i take it as a chance to help them learn that there are lots of right ways to get their desires filled, once they know what they are... and who they are....and why they have these interests....and....

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:50:52 AM

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The ones I have talked with before who've said that turn out to be unwilling to deal with it in reverse, saying things such as a dominant or master does not have to prove himself worthy because they are dominant or master and by virtue of that they are automatically worthy of a submissive or slave. They also have tended to be rather reality challenged.

If I see that or it is said to me, I tend to find it funny and just move on because a relationship with them won't work so why bother?

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 6:53:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

I've dealt with the "prove yourself worthy" attitude, and most of the time, it doesn't work for me, especially with a stranger, but if it's someone that I know and admire and am interested in, I've been known to jump through a hoop or two to prove myself. It sets a particular tone that can sometimes work between two people.

yeah, and in the cases where it comes from a stranger I think it is just a tactic to set that tone without actually going to the trouble of getting to know someone and gaining their respect. I bet there are some noobs who fall for it and will start jumping through the hoops based on nothing more than the superficially domly demeanor.

That said, I also think these tests of "worthiness" go on in the pairing up process even if they aren't explicitly stated, so there's really nothing special about it. I mean, sooner or later the submissive will start jumping through hoops to show a willingness to develop a relationship, and that's pretty much what it takes to be worthy.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 2/9/2009 6:59:31 AM >

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 8:34:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I also think these tests of "worthiness" go on in the pairing up process even if they aren't explicitly stated, so there's really nothing special about it. I mean, sooner or later the submissive will start jumping through hoops to show a willingness to develop a relationship, and that's pretty much what it takes to be worthy.

I agree. Both parties are making their assessments, or at least they should be.

Hell, I'm not going to jump through a hoop for someone that I feel isn't worthy. That's why I will automatically repel away from a stranger who demands I prove myself. But if I'm interested in someone and I feel like he's worth the effort, then sure, I'll crawl a bit, and I'll even enjoy it.

And the "noobs" will just have to learn the hard way, unless of course, it works for him/her to prove themself worthy to a stranger. That wouldn't surprise me either.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 8:44:53 AM

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I will admit in emails I have used the "If you are worthy of my time and energy" line. However, it has also been followed with what makes someone worthy of that time and energy. If we have nothing in common and no where to grow, you arent worthy of my time becasue you would be a bad match. If we have a lot in common, we enjoy the same things and there might be a future, you were. If you messaged me with a list of what you wanted me to do to you without putting the effort into reading my profile and seeing what I wanted, you were not. If I wasnt worthy of a few minutes of your time, you arent entitled to mine.

I think putting it in as its own statement is very egotistical. I do not, however, think putting it in and qualifying it with what makes someone that way is. The difference, in my mind, is the first is for effect, to make you sound important and to lay down a challenge to some. The second is letting someone know what would be required to be considered, to save them from walking into something they are clearly not fit for.

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 9:03:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

"Prove to me that you're worthy" is extremely common in profiles of female dominants. It always sounds pretty uber-egotistical to me. If I'm not interested in someone, for any reason, I don't consider them "unworthy", but merely not a good match.

I was sent a similar message from someone suffering from "Dumliness".

~sigh~

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 9:04:06 AM

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It's a really silly way of saying something that I think is inherent in filtering whether or not to be with someone. The fact that it is said in that fashion is telling, I think.
Davan

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RE: "If you're worthy" - 2/9/2009 9:13:46 AM

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I can't but help wonder if, on the internet, some laddie with fer original ideas, saw someone post for the first time "If you are worthy of my time and energy I will consider you for a collar", (A reasonable statement to a sub/slave) and shortened it to "If you are worthy" ?

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(in reply to DavanKael)

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