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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/2/2009 11:27:13 AM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

(I just could not understand the odd tingling Josh Groban gave me)


Oooh, another Josh Groban fan! *waves* :D

(in reply to innocentdarkness)
Profile   Post #: 181
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/2/2009 4:41:24 PM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

sodsta
Everyone has a preference, and surely that's what preference is? I don't think anybody should be persecuted or judged or insulted for theirs. I certainly hope I wouldn't be for mine.

I have a preference for waffles with coconut oil and grade B maple syrup, but that doesn't mean I'd turn one down that had butter on it!

I sometimes wonder if I missed a chance here or there because I was so focused on my preferences Maybe BDSM scared them off or they felt they had no chance because of the preference for UK accents, Irish accents or Scottish accents and lips like Simone Lahbib. lol The way she says, "Litrally." These are just preferences, and I keep them to myself for when someone comes along and my heart begins to sing, they become my preference. (Fondly thinks of young lass at work) So, now I prefer getting to know someone rather than letting my preferences get the better of me. (Though, I can still fantasize about the kilt and sword!)

I work with many young adults, and I cannot lump them all together. Some are very lazy and have no work ethic. Others are amazing. It's the person, not the age. I can say the same of people in my generation. I am thinking of two who feel because they are now upper management they do not need to help out with the grunt work. The fact that labour is cut and we are now short staffed does not matter to them. Many times I, and others, am alone on the floor and could use a little help but they just walk on by being "managers". (They always manage to have time to be on the computer or conversations about personal stuff.) And yet, a young man from another department comes by when I am alone to see if he can help me. It's the person, not the age.

Good luck with your writing sodsta!

_____________________________


“Listen, I am trying to cope with the presence of God and the Universal Human Experience, and I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet!” -French and Saunders

(in reply to sodsta)
Profile   Post #: 182
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/2/2009 4:45:02 PM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

LadyPact
Oh, if I haven't already been nailed to the cross in this thread, I'm about to be.



quote:

GreedyTop
well, you ARE standing in front of one, LadyP... LOL


LOL Thanks GT! I needed that.

Edited because I left out the quotes.

< Message edited by TranceTara -- 3/2/2009 5:05:14 PM >

_____________________________


“Listen, I am trying to cope with the presence of God and the Universal Human Experience, and I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet!” -French and Saunders

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 183
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/2/2009 7:46:17 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta
One thing I was wondering while I was reading this thread was if it was as insulting for a 23 year-old to not want to date a younger person as it was a 43 year-old?


I think it could be just as offensive if it was stated too broadly and too harshly, yes. The insult offered is never the preference itself. It's when the preference is stated in terms of base-line positive human characteristics which are assumed to be lacking in one group, while present in another.

Example: "I would never date a black man, because Asian men are my type, and every time I see a guy like Toshiro Mifune or Daniel Kim I just swoooooooon."

Versus this:

"I would never date a black man because I honestly do not feel black men as a rule are capable of real love or submission, nor do I think they would ever understand my problems."

One of these statements is a harmless, positively stated expression of personal preference or a cherished fetish. One of them is racist and offensive and condemns an entire group of people at once. Statement A is not going to upset anyone (unless he has a crush on you and isn't Asian). Statement B is going to offend a lot of people, including many people who aren't black, because they recognize it as a sweeping negative generalization which is both unfair and untrue.

If a person doesn't want to date young or old people because they have a set "type" that they prefer, it's just a personal limitation or a bias, neither automatically good nor bad. The problem with our personal limitations is that we have to be careful not to project them too brutally onto others. The fact that YOU cannot love a young person does not mean that your limitation is automatically reversed, and that no young person is capable of loving YOU.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to sodsta)
Profile   Post #: 184
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/2/2009 9:06:50 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Shakti, I wouldn't necessarily go so far as to say that it's discrimination, but I agree that sweeping generalisations that are negative tend to bother people. I have my personal preferences, but I try to be tactful about them!

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 185
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/2/2009 9:29:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Sorry.  I can't go for this.

No matter where any of us stand on age, none of us has ever doubted the love in the relationships discussed in this thread.

With My own eyes, I've seen how boijen looks at MissK.  First hand, I've witnessed the love and devotion.  Seeing that was even better than meeting boijen in person.  I have no words to describe what I saw between the two of them.  All I know is that My heart is richer for it.

I missed the chance a while back to meet Geoff and MofG together.  I often kick Myself that I couldn't make it happen.  I still have hopes.

I highly doubt I'll ever get to meet Shatki and Aidan.  Not unless I happen to have a trip in her home state and bring a truckload of diet pepsi for a peace offering.  That doesn't change the fact that I'd like to.  I would really enjoy seeing the love they have between them in meatlife that is displayed on these boards.

On the same trip, I'd like to meet DV and her Fox.  I hear they are in the same neck of the woods.  Meeting them would be a great pleasure.  The same can be said of Tammyjo and her family.

Don't ever believe that I don't respect these dynamics and those of others making it work.  To do so would not only be an injustice to Me, but also to the lives that they share.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 186
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/3/2009 4:30:31 AM   
azjojoba


Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

They are just young... and I can't expect them to act like a forty year old.  That still doesn't mean I want to be in a relationship with them and it doesn't mean I am judging them morally or seeing them as anything other than what and who they are. 


It's lucky for all of us older guys that there are some women who feel as you do, otherwise we would have nowhere to turn but to younger women. Give me a mature woman over 40 any time over that young stuff!

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 187
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/3/2009 6:16:20 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Why is it that when an older woman says she doesn't disrespect young people, but simply doesn't wish to be in a relationship with someone twenty to thirty years younger than her.. it is seen as an insult to younger people?  I have some close friends who are in their twenties and I respect them... they have been good friends and close friends... but they have not been my lover most of the time.  Only one in his twenties when I was in my forties.  I have a deep respect for people of any age that impress me with their maturity and personal make up.  I also respect those who are not mature.  They are just young... and I can't expect them to act like a forty year old.  That still doesn't mean I want to be in a relationship with them and it doesn't mean I am judging them morally or seeing them as anything other than what and who they are.  Maybe because I am used to mothering people of those ages!  That could make a big difference for some of us.  I simply don't want to have sex with them or have a relationship with them becasue I want someone with more life experience who doesn't remind me of my own um's.  I want someone who can understand the things that were in the decade's I lived through becasue they lived through them too and have their own take on it all.

There is no friggin way at age twenty five one can have the same amount of learning in life and experience than someone older. (notice I didnt say maturity)  By the time I was thirty five I had bought many houses... I had been a boss, had ran business's, had my own um's, had partied, had made mistakes.. and lived... and lived well.  Those experiences count for something and it is that something I seek in a mate.  Can some people live a lot in a short time.. yes!  But... I doubt seriously that they could put twenty years of living in a few adult years.  There are exceptions to all things.. but it isn't unreasonable or insulting to think that most adult's have more experiences by age forty than those at age twenty something.  I am not talking maturity. I am talking life experience.  I don't want an immature forty year old any more than I want an immature twenty year old.  I want experience and maturity.

I am not working on the beginnings of life with someone... but more of a retirement of life with someone.  I couldn't keep up with some men of any age... but a twenty something aged person... there is no way I could!  There are a number of reasons that I want an older man... but not because I see younger people as anything less.  I just want certain things in a relationship a younger man couldn't give me and that is living experiences and his take on them.  If I am grandma... it might be nice to share those granny moments with a grappy kind a guy.

If that makes me a bad person in some people's eyes and I am unfair... I will just have to live with that.  But it is MY life.. MY choice and I want an older man to live out the time I have left on this earth.  My choice doesn't have to be an insult to anyone unless they choose to take insult.  Hell.. I turn a lot of older men down too!  I want what I want.  Can someone in their twenties talk to me about the huge out door concerts?  Can they tell me what they felt when Kennedy was shot?  I am not living in the past... but I want to be able to chit chat without having to give a history lesson and I don't want to deal with the different things that come up with too many challenges in any relationship, so I am narrowing things to where I am comfy.


I'm not tryin to be an ass I'm just trying to prove a point...

I was there at the closing of a home I didn't negotiate for but within a week of dealing with the fixing of the house I knew that it was well overpaid for and am now doing the WORK for a short sell. (Successfully at that)

I already am thinking and planning retirement specifically having enough for Ma'am to be able to retire before 62 (I have a lot of work but am happy to do it).

I raised a sibling due to dysfunctional parents and not in the since of filling the gaps rather doing the active work of a parent...he hates me as much as a resentful child would hate a parent now that my parents DO actually do things for him. Everything is my fault. I've learned to live with it.

I can tell you that it breaks my heart that Kennedy was shot and that I have a difficult time seeing pictures of him that morning just before climbing into the motorcade (which was a 61' Lincoln Continental and he was shot at 12:30 pm CST). The man was a catholic democrat who would have changed the very fabric of our country for the better. He was not allowed to finish his job and it's heart breaking.

I can tell you Bill Cosby jokes older than I am.

I have run a business...and have had it run under from behind my back. I was angry as hell.

I've struggled with drug addiction (personally), I've been there for a birth, abortion, adoption, and death of a child (not my own personal experience but that of those who've I've been directly involved with...daily bases..."second parent" kind of thing).

I can argue the economic situation is comparison to the Great Depression, Reganomics, and I can tell you that "Our grand children will be paying for this" is what the Republicans shouted in '36 as well. That banner just doesn't die. I can tell you about the first playboy in production that's under my greatgrandfathers bed and how much he has stashed there and why. I can relate to him as well now (unfortunately).

What I'm trying to say (not to  piss anyone off) is that a "few years of adulthood" wouldn't describe my experience. (And while mine may be rare, it's not unique) I became an adult and began living an adult experience at 6. That puts me at 17 years of adulthood. No wonder MsKitty tells me I'm older than She is.

I'm not saying your wrong...just when someone makes absolute statements like that I just have to raise my hand and say "I'm the one that breaks that rule"

boiJen

And as I deal with the fact that my grandfather is suffering from Stage 4 pancreatic cancer and am involved in the decisions made around that and his funeral, I've been through this before, and haven't forgotten that most people my age haven't had to make the arrangements or decide on a coffin someone should be buried in.


< Message edited by BoiJen -- 3/3/2009 6:21:05 AM >

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 188
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/3/2009 6:22:44 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


With My own eyes, I've seen how boijen looks at MissK.  First hand, I've witnessed the love and devotion.  Seeing that was even better than meeting boijen in person.  I have no words to describe what I saw between the two of them.  All I know is that My heart is richer for it.


Thanks! I know...I rock! lol

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 189
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/3/2009 6:25:36 AM   
TaoWoman


Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
From: Kpe'me', Togo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Actually after watching this thread I've come to a conclusion.

When it comes to older women/younger men relationships, it isn't always the maturity of the younger men that make it work. I think it is possible that in some, it is the lack thereof, of the older women.

Neither age nor intelligence always equals maturity.


This is an excellent point!
 
I am not a cougar by the urban definition because i don't "hunt" but i do enjoy younger men and seem to attract them. I suppose i fall more into the "MILF" catagory. As to life after 40...it most definitely rocks

As to a contribution of sorts to this thread, i would just reiterate what i consider the key to happiness and joy...."Know Thyself" and live with authenticity~

_____________________________

The Teacher who is wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind~

Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 190
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/3/2009 7:05:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		As more of an observer, (not into guys young or old) I found this thread quite interesting actually. Alot of over sensitivity based upon perceptions of intent, rather than just giving those that think differently, the benefit of doubt. It isn't very flattering at times.

As for the topic, one thing to consider.  All men, that are more mature, had to start their path of submission somewhere. If I were looking for a male slave, I would be thrilled to have a slave that had spent time with a very self confident and mature woman. A woman that had grown past some of the silliness of youth (no offense to the younger women that have their shit together more than I did when I was younger) and taught the man to move past some of the behaviour I've seen in males sub/slaves that have not had the opportunity to serve.

So often, I see bitterness and expectations expressed by these guys that makes it obvious their only experience is what they've read, or fantasized about. To have a guy that spent time with one of these "cougars" could only be a good thing, at least that is my thought. They've had the reality. They've been taught what service may be expected. They've lived it.

So, while not every woman may want to BE that "older woman", I would think there would be a deep appreciation for those that are willing to guide these young men into full submissive manhood. It does take a lot of patience at times, and not all of us have it, or have any interest in it. Yet the reality is that few of these relationships will last decades, the men will get older, they will still want to serve, and they will have a much better, general idea of how and what the reality is because there was an older woman that was willing to give him a chance.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TaoWoman)
Profile   Post #: 191
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/3/2009 9:26:48 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have consistantly said that there are those who are amazing.  I was a mature young person too.  I simply for many reasons, want an older man now.  I typically am with younger men... but I don't want a thirty year difference.  My first husband was sixteen years older than I.  I thanked god every day, literally for the older woman that taught him all that pleased me each and every day.  I have taught a few and I have learned from them as well.  I am just where I am for the many reasons given and that is how I see it.  Now if some younger man comes along and amazes me... who knows.  He might be able to shake me off this stand I have at this time in my life.  I just think that those amazing one's are more rare and it isn't likely.  I love men... all shapes... all sizes... all age's.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 192
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