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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 9:03:18 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

BoiJen,
 
I really admire the strength, dedication and emotional connection between you and Miss Kitty. 
 
Warm regards,
 
Vendaval


quote:



Here's what it is...and it's the basic of any Female power dynamic....it's what makes me no different from any "good" s-type no matter what their age...

My role is about being the best boi that I can be. Period. And some days I'm a better boi than others. I'm more harsh on myself than MsKitty has ever been (it's why She says She doesn't have to "punish" me). I strive to be better every day.

ANY good s-type could say that. Age...or the perception of "maturity", because this comes down to how one perceives someone based on their age (initial perception), has nothing to do with it.

MsKitty's boi

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 1:34:15 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

When I said I could "squash someone like a bug," there is some truth in that. 


There is some truth to that when referring to a weak, stupid man of any age. The idea that age automatically "improves" or "strengthen" people is nonsense, in my experience. I have seen and known some men AND women who were absolutely wrecked and made incredibly vulnerable, needy and crippled by the life experiences they've had. I would argue, in fact, that EVERY dominant woman who has ANY experience in this community has met these men, received their emails, and answered their posts to this forum. The majority of them were NOT under thirty.

quote:

  For example, someone who is 40 may not have a lot of play experience, but they do have more life experience.  I may not be as able to get over on them as easily.


We'd like to think so, but the evidence points to the fact that men 30 and up are answering emails from Nigerians every bit as often as those 30 and younger--and perhaps even more often. Age is not an antidote to personal weaknesses of various kinds, and it's certainly no cure for stupidity, sexual repression, etc. Also, personally I find that the wrong kind of life experience can actually make people MORE vulnerable, rather than less, when it comes to being taken advantage of by potential BDSM partners. Many BDSM newbies who are desperate to break out of the self-imposed hell of their vanilla lives will throw out anything and everything they have learned over the years, while trying to turn over this new leaf. Sometimes that is the right thing to do--sometimes it's a disaster. 

quote:

I happen to think beeble made a pretty good point. 


I'm sure you did, since you are one of the most ageist posters to these forums, and beeble was suggesting that having a power exchange relationship with a younger man was analogous to molesting a child, based solely on the prejudices of the older party. Both his views AND yours are based on an assumption of VAST power differentials between people based on age, which are highly, highly exaggerated and in some cases non-existent, in my experience--if not outright reversed in many cases.

I'd also point out that your attitude in this area has led to trouble before, although not from me. You've been in more than one brawl on these forums, with both younger submissives AND younger dominants, about your attitudes toward the young. Over the time I've been posting here, I've seen you get into more than one furball with younger members of this community, and these furballs are almost always caused by the presumption of superiority based on age. Quite frankly, you come across as a real Age Supremacist at times. In some of your threads, you talk about the differences you perceive between generations--but the younger generation seems to get the short end of your stick, and your conclusion always seems to be that they are inferior to their elders in every respect.

quote:

There is a difference between those traits of a person such as age and maturity that will change, and those such as race or orientation that will not.  Also, as another alluded, there is a line between defending, and defensive.


There's also a line between preference and bigotry. Liking people of a certain type and being positive about their good/sexy qualities is a preference. Condemning others and suggesting that they are morally inferior or lacking in character because they are not a member of your "preferred" group is bigotry.

Beeble's analogy of a power exchange relationship with a young adult versus molestation of a child as a "difference in where you draw the line" is just plain wrong. Molesting a child is a criminal act, for a number of reasons, not least being that the molester has a tendency to damage the victim's personality and sexuality for life, and cause them a great deal of emotional anguish and shame.

Suggesting that there is ANY acceptable analogy between that crime, and having a mutually happy, mutually satisfying encounter with a younger person of either sex is...not only beyond the veil of stupid, but also pretty sick. And note that this encounter does NOT have to be a committed relationship, either--young people have a lot of hello-spanky-spanky-goodbye encounters that are not emotionally disastrous for them. They are just learning experiences, and they are as fun and joyous as their partners choose to make them.

Upshot is this: I meet a lot of younger people in my life, on a peer-to-peer basis. Some of them I respect, some of them I don't, but I have not noticed a very different ratio of good qualities in them than the ratio I see in older adults. So if you imagine that you are SUCH an uber-domme that you will automatically cripple a younger man for life just because you tie him up and work your sadistic or sexual wiles? I have three words for you: get over yourself. You're not THAT bad-ass.

Your ability to wreck a man or hurt him in ways you shouldn't is not about his age or yours. It's about strength of character--his and yours. And that is NOT a function of age.


_____________________________

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-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 1:50:54 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
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Several of my Sisters have been quite eloquent, so I'll throw out my opinion short and sweet. Under 35, and likely I'd just consider him a 'snack'. When I'm looking for a full course meal and to be completely satiated, give me a man over 40 EVERY time!

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(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 3:04:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

When I said I could "squash someone like a bug," there is some truth in that. 


There is some truth to that when referring to a weak, stupid man of any age. The idea that age automatically "improves" or "strengthen" people is nonsense, in my experience. I have seen and known some men AND women who were absolutely wrecked and made incredibly vulnerable, needy and crippled by the life experiences they've had. I would argue, in fact, that EVERY dominant woman who has ANY experience in this community has met these men, received their emails, and answered their posts to this forum. The majority of them were NOT under thirty.

quote:

  For example, someone who is 40 may not have a lot of play experience, but they do have more life experience.  I may not be as able to get over on them as easily.


We'd like to think so, but the evidence points to the fact that men 30 and up are answering emails from Nigerians every bit as often as those 30 and younger--and perhaps even more often. Age is not an antidote to personal weaknesses of various kinds, and it's certainly no cure for stupidity, sexual repression, etc. Also, personally I find that the wrong kind of life experience can actually make people MORE vulnerable, rather than less, when it comes to being taken advantage of by potential BDSM partners. Many BDSM newbies who are desperate to break out of the self-imposed hell of their vanilla lives will throw out anything and everything they have learned over the years, while trying to turn over this new leaf. Sometimes that is the right thing to do--sometimes it's a disaster. 


This was going really well up until this point

quote:

I happen to think beeble made a pretty good point. 


quote:

I'm sure you did, since you are one of the most ageist posters to these forums, and beeble was suggesting that having a power exchange relationship with a younger man was analogous to molesting a child, based solely on the prejudices of the older party. Both his views AND yours are based on an assumption of VAST power differentials between people based on age, which are highly, highly exaggerated and in some cases non-existent, in my experience--if not outright reversed in many cases.

I'd also point out that your attitude in this area has led to trouble before, although not from me. You've been in more than one brawl on these forums, with both younger submissives AND younger dominants, about your attitudes toward the young. Over the time I've been posting here, I've seen you get into more than one furball with younger members of this community, and these furballs are almost always caused by the presumption of superiority based on age. Quite frankly, you come across as a real Age Supremacist at times. In some of your threads, you talk about the differences you perceive between generations--but the younger generation seems to get the short end of your stick, and your conclusion always seems to be that they are inferior to their elders in every respect.


What you say here might be true about Me being a person who does base some of My opinions on age.  Feel free to nail Me for saying that the majority of the people that I meet in the 18-21 age range are immature and inexperienced.  If the majority of the people you meet in that age range aren't, then kudos to them.

You are also right that the age issue isn't only with submissives.  It goes for the D types, too.  I can still count on one hand the number of 21 year old Master/Mistress folks that I've met that really were mature enough to handle the complete control of another human being. 

quote:

There is a difference between those traits of a person such as age and maturity that will change, and those such as race or orientation that will not.  Also, as another alluded, there is a line between defending, and defensive.


quote:

There's also a line between preference and bigotry. Liking people of a certain type and being positive about their good/sexy qualities is a preference. Condemning others and suggesting that they are morally inferior or lacking in character because they are not a member of your "preferred" group is bigotry.

This is the part where you lost Me.  Especially since you went off on a tangent about the part that wasn't the issue that I agreed with.  I was very specific about agreeing with the part that age changes, while race and orientation do not.  Nothing about child molesters.  Since you were very specific about quoting Me, I would have thought you would notice that part.

This thread actually made Me think of another.  I remember at the time it gave Me a really good laugh.  Something to the tune of young person came on the boards, boasting about his maturity level.  Long story short, his comments through the thread proved him anything but his claims. 

Forgive Me for paraphrasing, but along comes Aidan on the thread with a comment to the effect of, "Duder.  Way to make a showing for the age group."


Edited for formatting.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 2/28/2009 3:07:20 PM >


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 5:20:30 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

What you say here might be true about Me being a person who does base some of My opinions on age.  Feel free to nail Me for saying that the majority of the people that I meet in the 18-21 age range are immature and inexperienced.  If the majority of the people you meet in that age range aren't, then kudos to them.


I think you need to seriously consider the possibility that the selecting factor here is not the age group we're talking about--it's your attitude toward them.

Think about this carefully. There are many, many men in this world who believe that "the majority" of women are stupid, weak, and morally corrupt. When you meet a man like this, and you can tell within the first thirty seconds that he holds these kinds of prejudices, exactly how motivated are you to try and change his mind? Or to remain within his physical vicinity--much less get involved with him as a friend or partner?

A man like that is self-selecting, in other words, in terms of the women whose company he can enjoy. No woman will have any reason to spend more than 30 seconds around him unless 1) she is so full of self-loathing that she agrees with his assessment of her sex 2) she has an ulterior motive, like wringing money or state secrets out of him or 3) she actually IS stupid, weak, etc., to the degree that she doesn't notice or care that he's a misogynistic fuckhead, or 4) she's REALLY, REALLY kinky, and the fact that he's such a genuinely hateful dumbass is a twisted turn-on of some kind.

By extension, exactly what reason would an intelligent, mature and worthwhile person from 18-25 have to tolerate YOUR attitude? See above.

A masochistic/submissive young man with any real substance or character has three choices, when faced with the kind of women who have been sounding off negatively about younger men in this thread.

1) He can choose to make himself scarce and simply avoid you--which he will do in the majority of cases. Quite honestly, those of you who say you "never meet young people who impress you" are probably a lot like skinheads who say they can "never meet a black person that is worth anything". You never ask yourself, "Why would a really intelligent, mature, special young person WANT to meet someone like me, much less take the time to get to know me?"

2) He can try to cope with your prejudices and change your mind--but after a few bouts, this strategy will become increasingly less attractive. People who wonder why BDSM communities tend to segregate into an older crowd and a younger crowd, especially in large cities, can officially stop wondering why. Young people actually DO get tired of being treated as if they were children, idiots, or meat. Far too many older people in this community have far too much ego and far too little common sense, when it comes to younger adults. Between the condescension, the creepily inappropriate remarks and the complete lack of respect for orientation, personal choice and personal space? The Old Folks often make it simply unbearable to try to socialize with them.

3) He can simply USE women who consider him a "snack", a "one-shot session", etc., for what they are good for--no-strings domination--without investing any real emotion in those BDSM booty calls. Under those conditions, the lad will allow himself to be "victimized" and "used" to the exact degree that the idea turns him on; he'll play the old broads like a fiddle to get his beatin' on, but at the end of the day, it's an open question as to who the "snack" in this scenario really is.

quote:

You are also right that the age issue isn't only with submissives.  It goes for the D types, too.  I can still count on one hand the number of 21 year old Master/Mistress folks that I've met that really were mature enough to handle the complete control of another human being. 


I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of dominants of ANY age or sex who would tolerate a casually dismissive attitude from someone who is supposed to be part of their social circle. Certainly if someone made the exact same comment and inserted the word "women" instead of "21 year olds", I would not be impressed.

quote:


This thread actually made Me think of another.  I remember at the time it gave Me a really good laugh.  Something to the tune of young person came on the boards, boasting about his maturity level.  Long story short, his comments through the thread proved him anything but his claims. 

Forgive Me for paraphrasing, but along comes Aidan on the thread with a comment to the effect of, "Duder.  Way to make a showing for the age group."



Aidan is quite adept at spotting an idiot of any age.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 2/28/2009 5:23:28 PM >


_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 7:03:44 PM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
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God..This is just getting impossible. I want to continue to hear this thread because it was interesting. Now after hearing some of the name calling, cut downs, innuendos, insinuations and such, it has gotten to be too much for me to even listen to it.
 
Have you ever "listened" to how you sound? I have. I am listening to every word typed here and it has come off as "You will agree with me or I will pound you to death with my words, until you apologize for how you feel. No other statements will appease me!".
 
Please, y'all, agree to disagree for Christs sakes.
 
You like it your way, I like it my way, she likes it her way. Butting heads on this issue is not going to change anyone's mind. All this is doing is making you lose credibility and most likely will put you on ignore. There are some "voices" I can not stand to listen to for long and frankly Shaki, yours is one of them. You keep saying the same thing over and over but use different words to say them by. The content is the same, only the sentences have been changed. I have always liked your postings, but this is just getting to the point of ridiculous.
 
Way back when, you said that you were done with this, that you had said the intelligent things that you needed to say. You should have stopped there. You have said some of the most hateful things in your posts on this thread, and maybe they have been smoked over, but the fact remains that with all of your talk about bias and bigotry, you have proved to be the biggest one here. Go back and count the multitude of times you have called people names and jabbed at their preferences, like and dislikes. Now you are comparing people who haven't met younger folks who impress them to "skinheads who say they can "never meet a black person that is worth anything"." How many times have you compared people who don't agree with you as racist and other derogatory terms? Hi pot. Meet Kettle.
 
MoGa
 
Oh and before you say anything about my views on Freedom of Speech, your own sub said it best. Just because someone can say something bad about another, doesn't mean that they should. Rest your case, you have pounded your point to the ground.
 
Now, I think I will turn my speech program off and rest my ears.

_____________________________


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(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 7:29:41 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

2) ".... Young people actually DO get tired of being treated as if they were children, idiots, or meat. Far too many older people in this community have far too much ego and far too little common sense, when it comes to younger adults."


Pardon me but let's not forget how a large majority of the younger generation look down upon us egotistical older generation and automatically assume we simply go around preying on a person who's 10, 15, 20 years younger then us. I am sure you heard the term "chicken hawk?"  Since that term is the male equivalent to a cougar.
The point is this argument applies to both sides of the equation and is highly unfair to place the majority of the blame on the older generation when both sides are just as guilty.

It is quite sad that many loss sight of the fact that it is quickly forgotten that there are some who are expressing their opinion which is based upon their own bad experiences, that's all.



_____________________________

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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 2/28/2009 8:34:03 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
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<passes MoGa a martini>----well stated, woot woot!

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Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 3:27:15 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
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quote:

ShaktiSama wrote:
You [beeble] jumped in on the attack...

No I did not.  You have jumped to some quite spectacularly wild conclusions about what I have written, despite my having carefully explained that you have completely misunderstood me.  But, since you are apparently not interested in readin what I have actually written and prefer, instead, to condemn me for attitudes I do not hold and have not expressed, I have nothing more to say to you.

beeble.


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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 4:51:49 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild
Pardon me but let's not forget how a large majority of the younger generation look down upon us egotistical older generation and automatically assume we simply go around preying on a person who's 10, 15, 20 years younger then us. I am sure you heard the term "chicken hawk?"  Since that term is the male equivalent to a cougar.
The point is this argument applies to both sides of the equation and is highly unfair to place the majority of the blame on the older generation when both sides are just as guilty.

It is quite sad that many loss sight of the fact that it is quickly forgotten that there are some who are expressing their opinion which is based upon their own bad experiences, that's all.


You have a uniquely beautiful perception of people, Bear. I haven't waded into the unfortunate argument that has become incredibly bitter to the point it has lost all relevance. I am aware of my own prejudices, or I should more accurately say, former prejudices. I worked in the care sector for many years, Bear. Just as I see biases applied towards younger generations, I've also seen these applied to older ones, and I will be absolutely honest in saying that I, too, have been just as guilty of doing so. I foolishly, and yes, even ignorantly, never stopped to realise that the vulnerable persons I was caring for and making decisions over are also people who have led rich, rewarding lives, who have explored their sexuality, lived through wars, made decisions that decided the fates of many and yet, at a time in their lives they should feel at ease and be treated with dignity, they suffer the injustice of indecorous behaviour towards them.

I never forget when I was fourteen and prior to my Grandmother's death, I was kept away from her, not allowed to enter her room. I knew something awful was happening, I didn't understand what. Conversations were kept hush hush around me, and one day, when my mother had to go out for a morning and I was given the order NOT to enter my Grandmother's room, I tried hard to obey, but upon hearing my Grandmother coughing I used that as an excuse to enter her room. She had tubes coming from her nose and her throat, her skin was a dark shade of yellow and she no longer resembled the Grandmother I knew. I, at first, thought it was someone else - until she opened her eyes and beckoned me to her. Until then, I had no comprehension of death, death to me was someone I was familiar with and loved never seeing me again. I thought how awful I must have been as a person for that to happen. She explained she had something called 'Cancer', that it was an illness that was beyond control and one she would never recover from and that she would die within a few days, that my mother was trying to make her final days as comfortable as she possibly could. I hate my mother! "No, darling, you don't, listen to your Gran, your mother isn't to blame, sometimes the person we try to protect isn't the one that needs it."

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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 5:23:36 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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I am going to thank the last three folks who responded on this thread.  Rest assured, I'm done with the conflict of interest.

There is something that does interest Me though.  It isn't really worthy of a thread of it's own, but I'm curious about the different insights that might be had by some of the various people who have responded in this thread.  It's only going to apply to those who are under 21 or partners with those in the 18-20 bracket, past or present.

More and more, local BDSM communities have started up TNG groups.  Still, a lot of kink groups are twenty one and over only.  Of the four that I belong to, only one allows members at eighteen.  The same is true of the club that I frequent most often.  Only people twenty one and over are allowed.

I realize that not everyone is interested in public play or in being involved in the kink community.  However, if that is part of life that you enjoy, how have you dealt with this obstacle?  If you have had a hand in starting new groups, or changing the rules of existing ones, I'd be interested in hearing your experience with that. 





_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 7:20:36 AM   
CatdeMedici


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Joined: 10/20/2008
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LadyP, start a new thread, I think this is worth discussion as we were all once 18-21 in a time that wasn't--well for Me, supportive.

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Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 10:18:05 AM   
TexasMaam


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You have a habit, Shakti, of personalizing every post you read and then blasting your knee jerk reaction to that which you have taken personally.

I work with over 100 young men under the age of 25.  They can't sit still, they are incapable of any genuine work ethic, they are the product of their upbringing and, by and large, they behave like insipid morons.

I was not referring to the very few, perhaps 2 out of 100, who seem to be lovely individuals.

I was referring to those who behave like morons at the office.

I was not referring you your sub. 

Take a valium and get over it, or come to my office and shower the 100 plus 20 year old male AND female morons at our office with your love and admiration and stalwart defense of their insipid and irresponsible behavior. 

Better you than Me.  I'm sick of them.

I used to enjoy being around young people.

That was before the experiences I have had in the past year dealing with an entirely new generation of 18 to 25 year old ADHD co workers who, overall, seem to have the emotional maturity of 11 to 12 year olds.

This is not a flame of individuals with adhd, nor does it flame individuals on ridalin, it is My opinion of those I happen to work with in my office and of those I encounter in public.

When any young person demonstrates intelligence, ethics, self discipline and curiosity, they earn my respect and praise.  Except for a rare few, I don't happen to work with that sort of young person. 

Frankly, I don't know how these young people ever landed the job in the first place.

If that is your sub, or your child, or anyone else's child, and they work with me, and they behave like morons, so be it.

Your calling them angels and wonderful people does not make them so.

Texas Maam

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: MoGa
I am not hearing where this has been typed. Maybe it was edited, before I got a chance to hear it?



I'm summarizing LadyPact's post about the "extraordinary" young people on this forum that are the "exceptions to the rule" of a generalization which is extremely negative.

Sorry, but to me this is basically a remark about "special Jews" who are "not like the others".  I've heard this same remark countless times about blacks, women, gays, whatever--fill in your group of choice who are generally bad while some "special" ones are ok. 

I do not care for this sort of thing.  I also did not care for her comparison of younger men to "bugs" to be squashed in the first place.  And I do not care for the use of the word "morons" from TexasMaam either.  I seriously doubt either one of them would stand for it if people on this forum were talking about anyone they cared about in this casually abusive, belittling tone.  Why should I?



< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 3/1/2009 10:24:52 AM >


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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 12:57:58 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam
Your calling them angels and wonderful people does not make them so.


Actually, I've never stated that they were "angels and wonderful" people. The position I hold on young people is simply that they are people. Period. The distribution of both positive and negative traits is roughly equal in them than it would be in people of any age: this includes stupidity and a low attention span, as well as intelligence and yadda yadda.

I understand that your environment is shaping your perception of young people. I'm not sure how you end up with a group that is 125 strong and composed exclusively of morons, because I don't know of too many work situations that require 100+ men under 25 to work together every day other than the military. But I also understand why you can't be more specific with something so personal over the Internet, so I just take as a given that your point of view is partially shaped by your experiences at work.

On the other hand, I also know from experience that anger, frustration and low opinions of people are self-fulfilling prophecies. Expect the worst from people and you will get it--every time. If your frustration, anger and low opinion of your employees is invisible to them, I'd be very much surprised. And speaking just for myself, I have never worked well for any boss that held a low opinion of me; there's nothing about contempt that inspires excellence OR diligence.

At any rate, "pushing" this issue has helped me, if no one else. It's actually quite interesting to hear more detailed responses from people, and see where and how these attitudes are shaped. And when people are more specific about their feelings and opinions, they come across a hell of a lot better than when they simply post a couple of generalizations about "bugs" or "morons".

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Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 2:01:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
Cat, you might be right.  However, I think it would be a thread more suited to the General Discussion board.  I'll post it there.

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Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 2:48:18 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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I did not hire these individuals, nor am I their supervisor.  The group is over 200 strong, over half of whom are 18 to 25 and who behave like ten year olds.

Let's take 'Rudy' for example. Attractive young man, 2 years in the service, comes from a well respected agri-based family in the area, fairly well educated. He's 22. 

On the phones with clients he insults them and chides them, then turns around and leaves the office at 3:15, returning at 3:55, on a day that his shift runs 7am to 4pm with scheduled breaks and lunchtime.  There is a 2:00pm break that is 15 minutes.  There is no 3:15 break that lasts 35 to 40 minutes, yet he returns, having distracted our entire team by his absence, with a Sonic soft drink in hand to work for 5 more minutes insulting and chiding clients over the phone until he leaves at 4pm.

He left his computer open for over 40 minutes unattended with confidential client information easily accessible on his screen, another  company no no.

During the work shift last Friday he was away from his console more than 9 times during the day, visiting.

He is 22. He is not 14.

I am not his manager.  If I were, he would no longer be employed.

Yet, there are over 100 such undisciplined, scatter brained individuals at my office who have scored quite high scores on the aptitude tests, but with zero experience in a real work environment. 

It is the test scores that get them in the office.  It is the corporate attitude that we must find ways to 'accommodate them' that will be the ruin of the company I presently work for.

Rudy is but one of these 'adult children' who behave this way.

It's an upper management problem, it is not my problem, but I don't have to respond when they constantly ask me for help and expect me to do their jobs for them.

I miss the days of embryo transfer, cross species reproduction of engandered species and being on the board of directors of several national organizations.....I owned my own laboratory, and I chose my help ever so carefully.  My help was experienced, educated, capable, trustworthy, and even if they were 18 year old interns from the local college they were there 18 hours if necessary, focused on their work and able to perform.  I was proud to write their letters of recommendation.

Times have changed.

This economy has placed many of us in positions we would not have chosen for ourselves.

I can only hope this same economy will filter out 'Rudy' and the likes of him in today's workplace.  He needs a few hunger pangs, some wrinkles in his belly and a few days and nights without electricity to motivate him to stay focused at a job the required 8 little hours per day.

I recently spoke with a manager about the comportment of several of these 'wayward teenagers' who behave as if they are 11 years old.

I was told that today's workplace requires the ability to shift and change to accommodate the 'adhd generation', no rules, no formal guidelines, no expectations, or they simply will not work.  I was told that 'they' would never work at all if I were a manager.

To a certain degree this 'manager' was right.  That particular type of young person would never work for me. 

A more dedicated, self disciplined sort would be working for me, the type of individual who would contribute to the company's bottom line, not shove it further into the red.  The type of young adult that it has been my pleasure to work with over the years, a young adult that rarley exists in our society today.

No wonder we're in economic chaos. 

Five years from now, or less, the companies presently catering to these undisciplined, insipid, juvenile, childish, spoiled morons will be out of business.

I dread going to work each day to put up with them, and  I hope like hell something else will pan out soon.

Which brings me back to my original post.

I can't stand to work with them.  I can't imagine having to take one of these undisciplined, immature, incapable young men as a sub today, for any reason on earth.

And yes, the past year working with this 'new generation' has changed my perspective of young people today, no matter what their orientation.  It would take a very rare young man indeed to attract, much less hold, my attention.

All the best,

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 3/1/2009 3:07:43 PM >


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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 3:20:11 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

And yes, the past year working with this 'new generation' has changed my perspective of young men today, no matter what their orientation.  It would take a very rare young man indeed to attract, much less hold, my attention.


*nods* I can definitely see where you are coming from; I get the impression from your other posts that it takes a rather rare man to attract your attention at any age. But I can see why anyone who reminds you of an extremely unpleasant work environment would face a special challenge.

I have no idea why a company would create such an awful situation for you and other responsible employees with their hiring and management practices, for certain. But saying that hiring young people is the cause of the economic chaos nationwide is a little unfair. Today's corporations are firing thousands of Americans over 18 and moving their production facilities to Singapore, Mexico and China, where workers are often 14-16 years old and making 80 cents a day. Many of the young men you work with may be irresponsible slackers or lacking in experience, but how is this their fault?


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Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 3:38:17 PM   
TexasMaam


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Joined: 6/22/2005
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If I owned a company and I were making comparisons between the comparably well educated youth of India, Pakistan, Singapore and  China, and if I were making comparison's about labor costs, I would most definately hire the disciplined, capable worker in Singapore for $4 a day over the idiot, insipid, undisciplined worker in America for $50 to $75 a day plus benes.

If I were a truly ruthless sort of individual, either owning or running a corporation,  who cared less about the enviroment than about my company's bottom line then I'd go to Mexico or China and pollute without regards to environmental repercussions, as long as I could hire hard working, dedicated labor for $2 to $5 a day.

Wouldn't you?

Nafta and other laws regarding overseas corporate entities, environmental laws or lack thereof, the gnp and trade deficit, are the root cause of our employment problems, to be sure, (I'm not even going into the whole finance/mortgage/bank/debacle that Senator Phil Graham's Senate bills in 2003 predicated, to the shame of the entire great state of Texas), but we, as a people, have made our own beds when it comes to preparing our young people with regards to job skills and work ethic or the lack thereof.

If I owned a corporation today in the US, and if I were still willing to pay the higher costs of labor and benes just to ensure customer satisfaction by overcoming the 'dumbing down' of America, I would be hard pressed, very hard pressed, to find the young adults willing, ready or able to do the work.

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 3/1/2009 3:49:06 PM >


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RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 3:47:11 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

If I owned a company and I were making comparisons between the comparably well educated youth of India, Pakistan, Singapore and  China, and if I were making comparison's about labor costs, I would most definately hire the disciplined, capable worker in Singapore for $4 a day over the idiot, insipid, undisciplined worker in America for $50 to $75 a day plus benes.

If I were a truly ruthless sort of individual, either owning or running a corporation,  who cared less about the enviroment than about my company's bottom line then I'd go to Mexico or China and pollute without regards to environmental repercussions, as long as I could hire labor for $2 to $5 a day.

Wouldn't you?


I'll take the time to respond for Shakti since she's not here right now:

No. She wouldn't. Ever.

One of the many reasons she's an older woman I actually care to spend time with.


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Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Confessions of a femdom cougar - 3/1/2009 6:12:26 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
just wanted to point out that Ms Texas said
quote:

If I were a truly ruthless sort of individual, either owning or running a corporation,  who cared less about the enviroment than about my company's bottom line then I'd go to Mexico or China and pollute without regards to environmental repercussions, as long as I could hire labor for $2 to $5 a day.


< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 3/1/2009 6:13:07 PM >


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